Chloe can't leave the building fast enough once her third class is over. Lunch is a break she needs before she can continue on, otherwise she'll crumble into dust. The stony silence between her and Marinette is painful to sit through; Chloe can swear Marinette is glaring at her, looking through her mask and plucking out her secrets to show to the world.
Every time she glances over, Marinette is resolutely staring at the board. This doesn't make things any better.
Even now, outside and away from the suffocating silence surrounding her, Chloe wants to claw off her skin, pry away the feeling of eyes staring into her, dragging their gaze across her body.
She wants to be alone, in a silence that belongs to her.
She just wishes it didn't feel so lonely.
All the years she spent pushing people away, isolating herself, have come back to bite her. For the first time in years she doesn't want to hide; she wants to reach out, smile without restraint, live the happy life she's always dreamed of.
Without Sabrina by her side, there's no one left for Chloe. She's done too good of job of hurting them to ever be let back into the fold.
For just a moment, Chloe thinks about joining Adrien, spending time with him, then quickly shakes the idea out of her mind. Adrien will be with Nino, who will be with Alya, who will be with Marinette. These are the people Adrien's chosen. These are the people he's happy with. These are the people she's hurt.
If she goes, she'll only cause more pain; Adrien will be torn between a shared history and a happier present. Chloe may not be the kindest, but she refuses to put him through that.
Other students form into their own groups, claiming tables outside the cantine and heading out to grab lunch somewhere else. The constant chatter grates Chloe's nerves, makes her clench her teeth and dig her nails into her palm. All those voices feel like ants crawling over her skin. It makes her want to scratch herself until she bleeds.
Just as she stands to leave, maybe go to Takahogi's place for lunch and advice, all the windows break, the glass pieces flying out as students scream and scramble away.
Chloe stands frozen as the doors are flung open, revealing someone who looks just a little too off to be human.
Of course the first day has an akuma; why wouldn't there be?
The akuma is tall with a mask on, like he's mimicking a hero, but his smile is full of wolf teeth and his fingers are lengthened into claws. He might have been attractive, almost model worthy with his sharp jaw and purposefully messy hair, if he wasn't possessed by a butterfly that turned people into villains at the mercy of their own emotions.
Students push against each other as they rush to escape, yelling out pleas to call Ladybug and Chat Noir.
Chloe has no choice but to follow the flow of the crowd. She almost thinks that this is one of the more harmless akuma from the way he just stands, breathing heavily, when he leaps forwards and slashes his claws across some poor girl's eyes.
The scratches glow an eerie red and she turns on her own friends, who try to pull her to safety, and fights like a rabid animal.
Well, fuck, Chloe thinks, watching as the akuma moves too fast to be escaped, claws flashing as he makes his minions. She ignores him as best she can and runs out of the school, narrowly avoiding being hit by a car as she runs away.
"You!" Chloe hears a deep voice snarl out, and isn't at all surprised when the akuma is headed towards her.
"This is your fault!" he screams, bringing his claws down onto her face.
It's only thanks to years of muscle memory that Chloe just barely manages to get hit, twisting to the side to his hand goes flying past her face. He's full of hate, so strong that it seems to leak into the air around him, turning it into something heavy and painful.
But you know what? Chloe sets her shoulder, brings out a snarl of her own, and decides she's had enough of being scared, of running away, of putting responsibility on everyone else. This is her experience. This is her fight. By God is she going to fight.
She's out of practice, but Chloe still knows where to hit to knock the wind out of her opponent, and sends her fist crashing into the akuma's solar plexus.
He makes an awful sort of gagging noise and doubles over. Chloe grabs his hair and pulls him to the ground, sitting on his back with a knee on his neck, digging close to a pressure point.
"What," Chloe hisses, "did I do? What crime are you going to make me guilty of? I haven't talked to anybody today, don't you fucking dare try to blame your lack of emotional control on me."
"Shut up!" the akuma struggles beneath her, "It's always people like you! People who are popular and rich and get all the attention and have no problems. You always pick on people who are beneath you. You always pick on me! I am the Underdog, I am a hero and I'm going to ruin everything you are!"
"Everyone has problems, dickhead, if you would stop being so self-centered for a second to realize this. If you want my life you can have it, but you'll have to take the neglect, the depression, the suicidal thoughts, and every other goddamn issue I have. You want to ruin me? As if you could do any worse than me. Play hero all you want, until you make something of yourself no one's going to give you the attention you want."
The outline of a purple butterfly appears around his eyes. Chloe pulls his head up and hisses, "Hawkmoth, you better keep your ass out of this if you don't want a broken akuma."
The outline disappears.
Beneath her, Underdog growls, then uses all his strength to push himself up, throwing Chloe off his back.
"You don't know anything!" he screams, "Everything is handed to you on a silver platter! You're respected! And me? I'm tossed around like trash, spit on and hated, and no one cares!"
It's almost like looking into a mirror; Chloe can see herself in Underdog, in the way he hates and fears and just wants to someone to care. But where she isolated herself and lost the will to live, he finds rage and hate that gives him the will to fight.
She couldn't save herself, not until it was almost too late.
But maybe, just maybe, she could help him in her own way.
"You care!" Chloe shouts back. The statement is enough to make Underdog freeze, snarl sliding off his face as his claws twitch uselessly by his side.
"What?"
Chloe lifts her head and fixes him with a heavy stare. "You care," she repeats. "You say no one cares but that's not true; you care. So stop letting people walk over you! If you want to be a hero, then save yourself, stand up for yourself, make something of yourself! Give people a reason to care, but for God's sake, care for yourself first. Being angry is meaningless unless you use it to do some good for yourself, and no, become an akuma doesn't count."
Underdog flushes and shakes his head. "You're just setting me up for more humiliation! You just want to hurt me, like everyone else!"
He leaps at her, swinging his claws down. He's moving too fast to be dodged, so all Chloe can do is raise her arms to block his hit and hope for the best.
"Woke up on the wrong side of the doghouse, have you?"
A sharp clang has Chloe looking up to see Underdog's claws hit Chat Noir's staff. Behind her, Ladybug lands, swinging her yoyo.
Chat pushes Underdog away and pulls Chloe behind him.
"What caused this?" Ladybug asks.
"From his monologuing, I think we can safely guess that it's bullying," Chloe answers, watching as the butterfly outline appears around Underdog's eyes once more.
Underdog shouts something, and Chat laughs and replies with something that has Ladybug sighing, but Chloe doesn't focus on it at all with her phone vibrating in her back pocket. Sure, she's in the middle of an akuma attack, but she's protected by superheroes; one text isn't going to hurt.
.
From Sabrina: Hey Chloe! How's your first day going so far? I just got my lunch!
.
To Sabrina: brb in the middle of an akuma attack
.
From Sabrina: WHAT
.
Chat turns to say something to Chloe, taking his eyes off Underdog just as he begins to leap forward, snarling and aiming to claw out Chat's eyes. Chloe opens her mouth to - warn him, scream, something - but her voice catches in her throat, choking her, and she catches the distant thought of, 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
And then, like always: Ladybug is there. Ladybug pushes Chloe out of the way, eyes glaring at Underdog, filled with protective fire, as she swings her yoyo at Underdog's face. He flinches back and gives Ladybug time to pull Chat back.
"I guess he's not a cat person," he tries to joke, but his eyes are wide and it's clear that he's shaken up.
"I'll deal with him," Ladybug says, "Get Chloe somewhere safe while I show him why he shouldn't try to hurt my partner."
Chloe thinks that Chat would be grinning, shooting back a flirt as he always does; he gives a solemn nod and turns to Chloe, instead.
This is by far the strangest day she's ever hand. It's as though the universe tilted just a little to the left and set things out of place, and only Chloe can't adjust to it. The usual banter doesn't spring up as the superheroes of Paris defeat another akuma. Chloe is in an unfamiliar setting with no friends by her side. She's punched an akuma intent on hurting her and lectured him, and Chat looks too worried about her to focus on Ladybug.
How strange.
Before she has time to say anything, Chat is wrapping an arm around her waist and using his baton to shoot them both into the sky. Beneath the rushing wind in her ears, Chloe distantly hears Underdog howl and the crack of concrete. She closes her eyes and tries to focus on the feeling of flying, of being safe and far from the problems that anchor her to the earth.
It's over far too soon.
"Chloe?" Chat's voice is small, almost timid.
She sighs, and pulls away from him. He's taken her just a few streets away, close to Takahogi's flower shop. "I'm fine," she says, "He didn't hurt me."
"Are you sure?"
Chloe looks down to her knuckles; they're just a little red, not even close to bruising, but proof of impact. She doesn't feel it hurting. She doesn't really feel anything at all. Her body's gone quiet, disconnected from her mind, and nothing hurts.
She nods. "I'm sure. Go back and help Ladybug; guy's a nasty piece of work, she'll need you to keep her safe."
"Alright," Chat says, straightening up and finally looking like a hero instead of a scared kid, "Don't come out until it's safe."
"Just go."
He does. He leaps away into the sky, gone in just a moment.
Chloe doesn't stay to watch him go. She doesn't stay at all; she turns and makes her way through quiet streets to the flower shop, where Takahogi welcomes her with a smile and sends her to the back, where he already has a cup of tea waiting for her.
There is nothing for them to say. The silence is comfortable, one she knows how to navigate and all the tension and worry from this first day of lycee fades away, if only for this hour.
Her knuckles ache, just a little. Chloe wraps her hand around the cup and feels the heat around her palm.
.
To Sabrina: I'm okay. Safe now. Tell me about your day so far
.
Takahogi places a sandwich in front of her and slowly sits to join her for lunch.
"Okay?" he asks.
"Okay," Chloe smiles, and for once, she's not lying.