Chloe has always feared for the worst; in most cases, if the worst can happen, it will. This time, however, this go better than expected. Alya is perfectly professional and Adrien hovers behind her, looking caught between hearing what happened and shaking her for being so reckless. Nino zones out with his headphones on, only occasionally glancing over to see if the interview was done. Marinette stares Chloe down, only sometimes looking over to Adrien when he moves a little too much while trying to keep himself from interrupting Alya.
The courtyard slowly empties as Alya continues to grill Chloe for all the details in her fight against Underdog. It's not an impressive story; there's more shouting than there is action, but Alya goes through pages of her notebook, hastily jotting everything down before, mouthing the words she writes, then asks Chloe more.
It goes on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on. And on and on and on and on-
Truth be told, Chloe tapped out the moment school got out and her teacher dismissed the class for the day. She vaguely remembers turning to Marinette, which blurs into Alya sitting down across from her, which blurs into distorted colors and the world goes underwater.
Alya asks questions she can't remember. Chloe answers without hearing her own voice.
This is important, she thinks, but she can't pull back into her body, can't force her mind to jump back into reality and is stuck watching everything play out before her like a dream. A passenger in her own mind, or the single audience member in a movie theater, always on the outside watching time pass by.
This is important, she thinks, but her attention is scattered like rays of light, unable to pull together to focus the image into something clear. Chloe feels like her eyes are made of frosted glass: she can see out of them, but everything is just faded blocks of color and barely distinguishable silhouettes.
I'm so tired, she thinks and lets her mind wander, giving up. It never lasts too long, this familiar disassociation, but it's long enough to feel like she's lost weeks to her broken mind.
A bee flies by slowly, passing the group, and Chloe can't help but watch as it goes. It heads towards a yellow butterfly, fluttering around the courtyard, moving from bush to bush.
An image of her watering can, the one with painted bees on it that Takahogi had given her, springs into her mind. She feels like she hasn't spent enough time at the flower shop, hasn't helped Takahogi as much as she needs to; after a summer for spending the entire day surrounded by plants, cutting it down to just a few hours leaves her longing.
Chloe thinks about leaving, about telling Alya that there's nothing else for her to say, and making her escape. Thinks about pulling out her phone and making up an excuse.
"I need to get going," she says, voice echoing strangely in her head.
Alya looks up, finishing her notes with a quick flick of her wrist. "Alright," Alya says, "Thanks for you time. I'll have this edited and posted on the LadyBlog in a few days."
Alya stands and shoves her notebook into her bag, then swings it over her shoulder and turns to Marinette. She says something, and Marinette replies with a soft voice, but it's nothing Chloe can focus on. Nino pulls his headphones down and leaves them to hang around his neck, walks over and claps Adrien on the back. Whatever he says to Adrien leaves them both smiling, but Chloe watches the bee land on a leaf in one of the bushes, suddenly still after it's quick flight.
Her fingers twitch. She curls them around the straps of her bag to hide the movement. She wants to reach out, rip the leaves from the branches, hold the bee in her hands, grip and pen tight and spill herself out onto paper.
I'm so tired, she thinks, then walks away.
The day hasn't ended yet, but it already feels like it's been an entire year. Just waking up and enduring her father's presence had taken everything out of her. Her knuckles aren't bruised, but she can still feel the impact.
Did she have homework? Chloe can't remember. It must be written down somewhere, but it's lost to her now.
They are among the last students to leave the school. Marinette and Alya begin walking down the street, waving their goodbyes to Adrien and Nino. Chloe doesn't look at them, just keeps her head high and begins the walk to the flower shop.
This, at least, is familiar. A quiet walk, lost in her thoughts, or in her mind, unable to process what's in front of her. It gets a little better the more she walks; the dream-like haze starts to fade away and sound becomes a little clearer.
A hand comes down on her shoulder, a familiar weight, and Chloe turns, ready to snap at Chat for sneaking up on her-
"Adrien," she says, barely catching herself from telling Chat to stop worrying about her. "I thought you went with Nino."
He shrugs. "Nah. They're going to Marinette's to get some sweets for completing their first day back at school. Her parents are really nice!"
"Why didn't you go with them?"
"Well, you didn't."
Chloe sighs and pushes Adrien back. "I know when I'm not wanted. Go get your snacks, I know you love their bakery."
"You should come with me!"
"I'm not invited." It hurts, sometimes, just how much Adrien still trusts her. He thinks of her highly enough to forget all the hurt she's caused. He thinks she's a good enough person to not ruin anyone's day. He thinks she can invade a space where she's not welcome and not start any fights. Chloe knows better than to lie to herself about her flaws, but that ever selfish part of her wants to keep Adrien in the dark so he never thinks any less of her.
Adrien stands his ground. "I'm inviting you."
"Look, Adrien, you don't know how horrible I was to all of them before you came to school. Going and forcing myself into their space is just going to upset them. And that will upset you. Go hang out with them, you spent enough time with me during summer break."
"Are you going to be okay, walking by yourself?"
"I always walk by myself. Besides it's just a few streets. The flower shop isn't that far away."
He doesn't answer, just sighs, lets his shoulders slump, and stops pushing. "Okay," he concedes. "I'll go. But I will bring you something from the bakery!"
"Just get out of here, nerd," Chloe says, but she smiles anyways because Adrien always insists on going an extra mile for his friends. No wonder people love him.
Chloe learned heartbreak at a young age. It changed her, made her scared and wary and terrified to get too close lest she is used and discarded. Her parents only wanted her to make friends, so she wouldn't be lonely when they work, so she could have some part of a normal childhood. But greed is stronger than affection, and Chloe is sure she will always be another stepping stone to someone else's wealth.
But Adrien has never had friends. Besides her, of course. His father kept him locked away, only smiling for the cameras, and knew that the only people who will seek out their family are those whose greed rivals that of dragons. His father loved him, yes, but from a distance, terrified that attachment will only lead to pain when Adrien leaves him one day. And while Adrien was hurt and abandoned, this never made him cold and distant. No, this only made him love people even more when they stayed in his life.
He gives parts of himself away freely, always positive to keep his friends smiling. But Chloe can remember all those nights where Adrien snuck out to see her, sobbing himself to exhaustion, wondering why no one loved him. And all Chloe could do was hold him close and promise him that one day he will be happy and surrounded by so much love he'll drown in it.
'One day' has passed. And Nino stayed. And with Nino came Alya and Marinette and Adrien loves them so much he'd bleed for them. But he isn't drowning; he's flying. And Chloe is the one stuck underwater.
Chloe walks down familiar streets, letting muscle memory guide her to the flower shop, where Takahogi waves her in from where he's watering the flowers outside. Chloe stares, looks down at the stacked flower pots, and decides that Adrien deserves flowers.
"How much would it cost to send flowers to a friend?" she asks.
Takahogi glances at her, then looks back down to the flowers. "Did you want to send a cut flower or a live one?"
"A live one. An entire flower pot. I'll pay anything."
"Is this for a gift?"
"No. It's a thank you."
Takahogi smiles, as though he was expecting that answer. "No cost," he says.
"No cost?" Chloe repeats blankly. "The delivery has to been expensive! I'll pay."
"No, no. You won't take pay, but perhaps you'll take flowers."
Well. Chloe can't argue against that. So she thanks him and ducks inside, dropping her backpack into the tatami room and pulling on her apron. Just a few more hours to get through the day. It's already so late in the day, Takahogi has taken care of most of the shop duties while she was at school. The plants are watered, cleaned, and cared for. The rack of seeds is organized and orderly. The small section of simple gardening supplies is clean.
But there's dirt and leaves and flower petals on the floor, and she knows Takahogi has a hard time sweeping, especially after being on his feet all day, so she grabs the broom and begins to sweep everything out of the shop. It's simple work, soothing in its repetition, and Chloe lets her body go through the motions without needing to think about anything.
This little shop on its quiet street is safe and distant from the day's troubles. A haven, a sanctuary, a safe place to recover after going through so much in the span of a few hours.
Flowers for Adrien. Chloe wonders if Chef Cesaire can make any Japanese meals she can bring to Takahogi. Thank yous are hard to say, but easier to show; Chloe's always been more the type to do rather than say.
(This doesn't change that she has said a lot in the past; horrible, hurtful things that push people away better than any action can.)
"Chloe," Takahogi calls as he enters the shop, wiping his hands off on his apron, "Come, tell me about the rest of you day at school."
Chloe sweeps everything out of the building and props the broom against the wall before making her way over to where Takahogi keeps the succulents.
"Fine," she says, "I can't really remember most of it, nothing special happened. Though a classmate did interview me about the akuma today."
"And how did that go?"
"I can't remember, really. Lost sense of everything for a while there. Just my daily dose of disassociation."
Takahogi carefully picks up a pot, pressing a finger into the soil to test its dampness. "Tell me, Chloe," he says, something solemn in his voice, "Why haven't you sought help?"
Chloe scowls. "Well, I'm here, aren't I?"
"I am glad you know you can come to me for help, but there is only so much I can do," Takahogi says, "It's okay to go to others for help. There is no weakness in it."
But asking for help is a weakness. It's cowardly, and a Bourgeois is never cowardly. She's already brought so much shame to her parents, she can't make things worse. No matter what she says, Chloe will always be afraid of disappointing her father, even when he never cares enough to look after her anymore.
"I'm fine," she says, and ends the conversation there. Takahogi doesn't press the issue any further; he simply hands her a succulent.
"Shall we find a plant for your friend?"
Chloe relaxes, feels the tension suddenly drain away. The hardest parts of the day are over. Now she can lower her guard and let herself feel safe.
She nods. "Yeah, Adrien would love something from here."
That's all Takahogi needs to hear before he's asking her question about Adrien, helping her figure out what to get him when he's so busy all the time and can't dedicate much of his attention to more complex plants that need more care. Succulents are the obvious answer, especially for someone who's never taken care of a plant before.
Chloe knows Adrien doesn't like his bedroom; it's too clean, too plastic, too big. There's so much empty space, and while it looks impressive the first few times, eventually it fades away and it's clear to see that his space is meant to be admired from a distance, but never lived in. Like anything else in his life, Adrien's bedroom is another part of him put out on display; he doesn't like most of what he has. And he isn't allowed to decorate. All the impressive things - the rock-climbing wall, the skateboard ramp, the basketball hoop, and the mini arcade - those are all things Adrien asked for the see how far he could push his father.
It wasn't far enough. As far as Chloe knew, Adrien never used any of those things. Everything he asked for is best done with a friend. Until last year, he had no one to share his space with. Not even Chloe, really.
And he doesn't have a single plant. Chloe is still taken back by how comforting and lively the flower shop is, with it's overflowing shelves of plants, all bright and vibrant and alive. If Chloe can give Adrien a little bit of that comfort for him to have at his house, then she would.
In the end, it's decided that they'll send Adrien two succulents and a single flowering houseplant.
With steady hands, Chloe writes down instructions on how to care for each, dutifully copying down every word Takahogi says as he packs up each plant into a wooden crate, with a covering that lets keeps the soil from spilling out, laying out bubble wrap in the delivery box, then carefully putting in the plants.
Burro's Tail, Chloe writes, Keep in medium to high light. Only water till damp when soil is dry, and keep soil dry during winter. Fertilize once in the summer with a balanced 10-10-10 fertilizer. Don't mess with the leaves, they fall off easily.
Jade Plant: Let soil dry completely between watering. Trim and prune the plant so it stays symmetrical and balanced. You can replant a cutting to grow more.
African Violet: Use lukewarm water and only water when soil is less moist. Only water at the base, don't get any water on the leaves. Keep three feet away from the window and turn pot once a day to ensure that each side grows towards the light.
Each paper is folded and put into an envelope, one that's pale blue and a hare mid-leap in the bottom corner.
"Do you think he'll like it?" Chloe asks, nervous.
Takahogi smiles and closes the package. "I'm sure he will. And I'm sure you will like this," he says, reaching under the counter and pulling out a small flower pot, holding a succulent with large leaves and small, vibrant red flowers - a flaming katy. "A good luck present to wish you a good school year."
With careful hands, Chloe reaches out and holds the pot in her palms, wrapping her fingers around it and holding it up to her face reverently. It's so bright, so beautiful. She's terrified that she'll end up killing it, but Takahogi has taught her well.
"Thank you," she says. Her voice wavers, but she doesn't cry, even if her eyes grow damp.
"I believe in you," Takahogi says.
Chloe holds the flaming katy against her chest all the way to the hotel, feeling something, a small, trembling thing, in her chest that she's scared to name. Because it's a feeling pretty damn close to hope, and her hopes have always let her down. Chloe holds the plant close, revels in how heavy her heart is, and watches the sun set.
The first day of lycee is over.
Chloe falls asleep besides her new plant, the first in her room, her head pillowed in her arms on the window seat, and doesn't have a single nightmare.