Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters used in this story that honour belongs to J K Rowling and the Warner Brothers.

A week had passed since Harry had come to 12 Grimmauld Place and as each day passed, Harry found it harder to be alone and to put on a fake smile. His leg wasn't bothering him much anymore and he was used to hobbling around on his crutches. However, Harrys nightmares were worsening nightly, they were getting more graphic and often too tired to stay awake the rest of the night, Harry revisited the graveyard a few times a night. Because of this, Harry cut himself to relieve the guilt in the little bathroom nightly and always making sure he covered his tracks.

Remus and Sirius were noticing that Harry was becoming more quiet and more conservative, he spent a lot of the time up in his room but whenever they did see him, he was ok or so he said. Little did the two marauders know that Harry screamed himself hoarse nightly and punished himself. However, this all changed the day Harrys Hogwarts letter came.

Harry woke up to the sound of his own screams for the second time that night, how he hadn't woken anybody was a miracle. The time on his clock, 6.49 told him that he had little time to play with that morning and decided to wait to relieve himself from the guilt until after breakfast. Harry decided to watch the rest of the sun rise, though when it did, it stung his tired, droopy eyes.

Harry was feeling rather depressed that morning as if he was numb all over, as if nothing mattered, everything was pointless. He was angry with himself, he knew the two marauders would question him if he expressed how he really felt. He would just have to keep up the act even though it was the last thing he wanted to do that morning. At 8:30 Remus walked in, looking at the tired teen and saying the usual

"Morning Harry, how are you today? Breakfast is ready if you would like it" Harry didn't know what came over him but he snapped and shouted back at Remus

"I know breakfast is ready, you say it every morning, if you just knocked on the door I'd come down!" Remus was taken aback but he looked at the obviously tired teen with sympathy, he knew from that moment something wasn't right, he had been suspecting it the last couple of days, Harry wouldn't talk to anybody.

"Alright" Remus replied softly putting his hand on Harrys shoulder. He defiantly knew something was really wrong, angry Harry was completely out of character but he replied. "Come down when you are ready" Harry who had realised what he had just done and quickly apologised

"Sorry Remus. I don't know what got in to me. I'm coming now" Remus looked at Harry accepting his apology with a nod of the head. They both headed down to breakfast

"Ah Harry, glad you could make it" joked Sirius "you have mail" still in the same mocking voice. Remus looked at Sirius who got the idea straight away. Harry had taken his Hogwarts letter off the table and opened it. The letter contained his new book list for the new term. Harry then started picking at his pate and pushing the food around. The two marauders watched Harry playing with his food. Sirius decided to tackle him head on. The teen looked tired and very pale, whatever it was he wanted to know.

"Harry?" asked Sirius. There was no answer. "Harry? Are you alright?" asked Sirius in concern though he wasn't prepared for the response.

"Yes Sirius, I'm fine, I'm here, aren't I? there's nothing wrong with me!" Harry barked at Sirius got up and left the kitchen slamming the door behind him. What was he thinking going off his rocker like that, being so stupid? Harry decided to relieve his pain at once and made his way up to the bathroom and cut his arm in four places and let the blood drain out of him, letting the feelings out too.

Meanwhile Sirius and Remus were left shocked at Harrys reaction, they both knew something was wrong, really wrong with Harry. They had suspicions which had just been confirmed. Both marauders decided to talk to Harry once he had calmed down in an hour or so. In the meantime, the two brainstormed ideas in which to help Harry and to find out what he was hiding from them.

Harry on the other hand was cleaning up his recent mess in the bathroom, his wrist stinging from the cuts. He made his way back to his room once he was happy there was no trace of blood left. Harry slumped onto his bed head pounding, his scar prickling. Harry drifted into a light sleep he was falling into the graveyard again and he witnessed his classmate die again. He was shouting at the top of his lungs.

…

Sirius had left 12 Grimmauld Place to go a meeting with the new Order of the Phoenix at the burrow, they had changed the meeting from Grimmauld place to reduce Harrys concern and stress, even though he wasn't coping anyway. Remus was left with Harry in case he woke up and didn't know where they were even though the two marauders knew that Harry wouldn't notice, he hardly left his room. Remus was glad that he stayed when he heard shouting from upstairs and ran up to find Harry asleep, thrashing around screaming

"NOT CEDRIC, KILL ME INSTEAD, NO! NO!"

"Harry wake up!" Remus had his hand on his shoulder, stopping Harry thrashing about. Harry woke abruptly and reached for his wand standing up in the process. "Harry, its ok, it's me Remus, no one else" Harry lowered his wand slightly.

"It was only a dream; you are safe" Remus said quietly as he looked into the scared teens eyes which were filled with tears and fear. "Are you alright Harry?" Remus asked

"Yes I'm fine, I'm brilliant" replied Harry, his voice hoarse forcing himself into a smile. Sitting back down on the bed.

"No Harry, you are not fine. You were just threatening me with your wand, you were screaming about Cedric. How often do you have these nightmares?"

"That was my first one in a few weeks" Harry lied as he pulled his long sleeve of his shirt over his hand so Remus couldn't see his wrist, he then started to fiddle with it and stare at the floor. He wasn't looking Remus in the eye, Remus knew he wasn't telling the truth, not only had he heard him nightly screaming at the top of his lungs but Harry had a bad habit of fiddling with anything when he lied or was nervous. Remus had an increased sense of hearing (from being a werewolf) and had woken during the night and heard Harry. He didn't want to disturb the teen so he let him cope on his own until it got serious.

"No it isn't Cub, please tell me!"

Remus, I told you I am fine, it isn't anything, I can sort it out"

"Harry, I've heard you in the night" the sympathy coming out in his voice. "I thought that you were coping ok. But you're not, you are not ok. How long have these dreams been going on for?" Remus asked softly placing his hand on the shaking teens shoulder and rubbing him with his thumb. Harry gave in, not wanting to argue any longer, he was too tired to fight any longer.

"I've been having them at least once or twice a night" Harry said bluntly trying to hide his tears

"And what are these dreams about?" asked Remus hurriedly trying to keep Harry talking while he was talking.

"Mostly about the graveyard, Cedric dying, the dark lord returning and seeing my parents. Sometimes it's Ginny back in the chamber, I don't know what I would do if I let her die. Though sometimes I still get dreams about the night my parents died…" Harry paused tears rolling down his cheeks. Harry had never cried before in front of anyone ever since the Dursleys punished him for crying. However, there was something about Remus which made him able to let go as if he understood what he was going through.

"Aw Harry why didn't you tell me or Sirius, we could have brought you some dreamless sleep potion"

"It tastes disgusting and I always feel like I haven't slept when I have it"

"I know Harry but look how upset you are and how you have been. Sirius and I haven't seen you unless we are at the table and even then we can only get a few words out of you"

"I didn't want you to know, I can handle them, just don't make me have the potion, please Moony and if Sirius finds out…"

"He would only be concerned for you, and he would want to help, we have had our fair share of drama when we were in school, nothing could shock us. All we want is for you to be happy here"

"He would send me back to the Dursleys, he wouldn't want me anymore. I don't want to disappoint him" Remus had pulled Harry into a tight hug and let him cry into him, he knew that Harry needed to let it out one way or another. Harry who had relaxed let Remus take his weight cried properly, something he hadn't ever done before. Remus understood, he didn't know why and he didn't know how but he trusted him.

"Shh Cub, that's it let it all out. You would never disappoint us, all we want to do is help you" Remus said gently, as he let him spill all his emotion out, he hadn't realised how much Harry had kept inside for all this time. He kept hold of Harry until he had tired himself out and had drifted into a peaceful sleep. Remus laid Harry back onto his bed and let him sleep.

"It will be ok, Cub" Remus whispered before turning out of the sleeping teens room, thinking he had got somewhere with Harry, he knew there was more to it than the dreams but he would leave that for another day. He thought about how much this must have been hurting Harry, bottling it up inside of him like that, it wasn't good for him. Remus decided not to tell Sirius as he would just want to interrogate Harry and he knew from his own experience that all Harry needed was someone who understood. Someone that had experienced everything. He couldn't break his trust now, not after he'd just opened up to him.

Note: Sorry I didn't upload yesterday, I had some technical difficulties. Please leave a review, I would love to hear what you think bout Harry opening up to Remus. Any suggestions for the future you can say so too I am open to anything. Thanks