Chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters used in this story that honour belongs to J K Rowling and the Warner Brothers.

The room started to close in on him, his heart beating so rapidly he thought it was going to jump out of his chest, air felt harsh as he tried to force it into his lungs. He felt the glamour charm on his torso felt and a sharp pain where his cracked ribs were.

Remus heard the boy panic and burst in through the door. He grabbed the boy and placed his head on his chest and said "Harry! Harry! Breathe for me, follow my breathing, in and out, in and out" Harry who found it comforting to have Remus there, followed his breathing, the room slowly came back to normal size "That's it Harry" he could breathe again.

After a while Harry came out of his grasp "Thanks Remus, sorry about that"

"Have you ever had one of these before? A panic attack?"

"Yeah, a couple of times"

"Do you know what happened to trigger it?" he asked. Harry shook his head, not wanting to continue the conversation. "Harry, you can tell me, I have an ear if you want to talk?" Harry shook his head again. Remus sighed knowing something was seriously wrong with his cub, he knew he was hiding something, he didn't know what, he wanted to find out but decided to keep a very close eye on him, he seemed to be coping a bit better since his friends were here. But this attack had really startled him, seemed to be back to a couple of days ago.

"Do you want some tea Harry?" asked Remus, trying to change the subject. Harry nodded as he picked up his crutches and started to make his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Reus shook his head and followed his cub downstairs. Remus prepared some tea and added a calming draft to Harrys to make sure he didn't panic again. He passed the mug to Harry and sat down opposite him.

"Thanks Remus, how are you after the full moon?"

"I'm getting there, one more day and ill be right as reign again" Remus smiled "How about you, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine" Harry said smiling trying to make it look convincing "So you are going to be a Professor again, just as I got used to calling you Remus" Remus laughed

"Well only in class and in the corridors, other times you can call me Remus," He laughed "Now I heard that you are a chess player, fancy a game?"

"Yeah sure" The pair played for a good while, until the fireplace turned emerald and Sirius appeared. He walked over to the pair and whispered something into Harrys ear. Harry then made his move.

"Checkmate!" he smirked.

"Padfoot, what have we said about taking sides?"

"He is my godson and if I wish him to win that's the way it will go" Remus sighed but gave Sirius a smirk. He shook his head as Sirius turned into his dog form and started running around the room before putting his paws on Harrys chest and started licking him. Harry couldn't stop laughing. Remus thought at least this was one thing that did hep Harry, he almost seemed normal at this point, but he knew that this front he was putting on was strong.

"What! Is going on here!" shrieked Mrs Weasley, the last to come home from Diagon Ally

"Come on Mum, they are only having fun" cried Ron. Molly sighed and started to work on food. The rest of the Weasleys and Hermione went upstairs to drop their things off. Harry followed them upstairs leaving the adults to talk. He found them all in the library around a table as soon as he entered Ginny pulled out a chair next to her and indicted to Harry to sit down. Harrys heart took a leap, something about her made him light and excited. He sat, and they played exploding snap until they were called to dinner.

There were plates and plates of Mrs Weasleys tasty cooking, Harry hoped he could keep it down today. Harry didn't eat much just a little bit of everything, luckily no one noticed. He felt a bit better after food, Remus glanced over at him knowing about the calming draft earlier, perhaps he wouldn't run to the bathroom after. This satisfaction Harry didn't. Harry felt good as he felt he was back at the Weasleys, talking about quidditch and how to prank Malfoy.

It was getting late, Mrs Weasley ordered them all to go to bed. Harry waited again until Ron was asleep before he carefully made his way to the bathroom with his blade, his urge to cut was getting unbearable especially since Remus had caught him earlier. Thinking of Remus, now that he was better, Harry had better not dawdle. He added a few more cuts to his arm, the glamor charm falling as he pierced his skin. After he had finished he cleaned up and replaced the glamour on his arm and his torso before he made his way silently back to bed. He put up silencing charms around his bed before falling into a very restless sleep.

"Don't burn the bacon you freak!" yelled Mrs Dursley as a five-year-old Harry came from his cupboard and into the kitchen, he then put some oil into the pan and placed the bacon in the pan. Dudley came running in and ran into Harry, the pan flipped off the stove and burnt his hand. Harry started to cry, so did Dudley who had barely had a scratch. "Oh Diddykins! What has that freak done to you?" at those words Mr Dursley came storming in and grabbed him around the throat. He took out his belt and started to beat the young boy until he lost consciousness and stopped crying. He then was thrown into his cupboard into darkness.

At that Harry awoke in a sweat, panicking again. The room was closing in, he remembered what Remus had done earlier and he started to breathe again. He felt the welts on his back stinging, his ribs burning and his arm throbbing. His glamour charms were falling again. He quietly got up and took his book into the library and started to read the next chapter of the book for a stronger charm before he took his shirt off and muttered "Abscondere Vulnera" his wounds were instantly covered, he felt his magic increase around him. He did the same for his back and torso before he put his shirt back on. Harry noticed the time and quickly and quietly went back to his room.

The next couple of days were quiet and they spent most of the time relaxing and playing games as a group. Fred and George showed them their latest inventions and said they were going to sell them at school. Hermione huffed and as new school prefect she disapproved.

Soon came the day before they were to go back to Hogwarts, Madame Pomfrey was visiting to check on Harry that day, Harry was nervous for some reason or another he hoped he could finally put some weight on his leg. There was also a lot of rushing around that day, everyone looking for their things to pack for Hogwarts. Remus left at midday to get everything set up at school. Harry felt a bit lost without him there, he was always a calming presence.

When the matron arrived, Sirius greeted her and called for Harry who came downstairs slowly. He was on edge and hoped his charms would hold, even if he panicked, that's what the book said anyway. He sat down and looked at the matron.

"How are you doing Mr Potter"

"Yeah ok, just can't wait to get back to normal"

"That shouldn't be a problem, it has healed nicely, over the next couple of weeks I want you to slowly start to put weight on it again, come to me if you have any pain, I will review you in a month and hopefully get you off those and just in the brace and eventually back to normal. How does that sound Potter?"

"Yeah ok, thank you" replied Harry

"I will see you 1st October, 10am promptly in the infirmary"

"Yes ma'am" Harry replied, glad that she was leaving, he still had to pack most of his stuff away.

By 9pm that night everyone was finally all sorted except for the clothes they were wearing the next day. Molly had prepared a feast. Harry knew he couldn't keep down much so he added one of everything to his plate. He ate quickly making sure no one noticed how little he was eating. Molly ordered them to bed after food. Harry as usual waited for Ron to be asleep before he made his way to the bathroom. He had his stomach churning and as much as he tried to stop himself he threw up in the toilet.

Wanting to punish himself his cut his arm five more times, deeper and deeper. He panicked at the amount of blood he couldn't breathe; the room was going dark he finally fainted in the pool of blood from his arm…

Note: What do you guys think will happen next, will Harry wake up or will someone find him in the night? I hope you enjoyed this chapter I will update soon. Please review I answer each one via pm TR xx