"They're getting so big," Levi exclaimed, holding one of the puppies above him. "I can't believe their eyes are already open. Where has the time gone?"

"They grow too fast, that's what the problem is," Eren said beside him, also holding a puppy on his chest. The two of them were laying in the grass near the barn, a small pen erected around them as the puppies played, using their bodies as jungle gyms. They seemed to like testing their new teeth by tugging on their shirts and pant legs while they wobbled around on unsteady legs. True to his word, Levi was helping his new friend by handling the puppies as much as possible and getting them used to human contact.

"I've been meaning to ask you," the boy told him as he looked over at the man beside him. "When they're old enough, did you want one of these guys? I know you told me you live alone and sometimes you get rats and mice and stuff in your room…having a dog might cheer you up."

Levi paused, putting his puppy down as it began to squirm and then absently petting the ones that waddled up around his head. He supposed Eren was right. If he had a friend waiting for him at home, living there might not be so gloomy. Plus, he'd have someone to sleep in his bed and listen to anything that might be coming near his room. And weren't dogs supposed to be sensitive to ghosts and demons and the like? The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea, until he finally answered, "I'm honored you'd let me take one of your babies."

The boy snorted. "Well I trust you to take good care of them. You pick which one you want and let me know."

"I don't have much to pay you"-

"Oh shush, I wouldn't charge you anything. It'd be a gift between friends."

For some inexplicable reason, Levi found himself tearing up, and when Eren heard him sniff his head whipped, face open with concern. Before he could say anything though, the older man was furiously wiping at his eyes and mumbling, "Sorry. That's just…very nice of you. Not used to that sort of thing. Also not used to good things happening to me so often. You're so kind to me Eren, and we've known each other for such a short amount of time. I'm not used to such treatment, and I'll probably never be able to adjust, I'm sorry."

Eren watched him sadly as he composed himself, simply not knowing what to say to such a thing at first. He shifted a bit, scratching behind one of the puppy's ears beside him and huffing, "Well you better get used to it. I make sure my friends want for nothing."

Levi pressed his lips together, determinedly no looking at the boy, because he knew if he did, the sincerity he heard in his voice would be displayed all over that pretty face, and seeing such a thing might make Levi do something he'd regret, like take his hand, or kiss him.

It was quiet between them for several minutes, both of them laying on their backs as they watched the clouds drift by lazily. It was quite nice out today, a soft breeze blowing. They were a little ways away from the barn, but Levi could still smell the horses and hear the chattering of the staff when they were being particularly loud. But for the most part he and Eren were alone, watching the sky more and more orange as the sun began to set. He'd have to leave soon and he was already dreading it.

"Hey, you want to hear something stupid?" Eren said suddenly.

"Um…sure?" How else was he supposed to respond to something like that?

The boy took a deep breath and worried at the fabric of his loose, white shirt. The collar of it was unbuttoned, and Levi tried extremely hard to the point of straining himself not to pay attention to the fact that he could just barely see his collar bone peeking through. He cleared his throat and finally said, "Well, I told you how I want to be an artist, and I'm sure as a writer you've felt something like this, but I swear when I close my eyes, either during the day or at night, I can see a whole different world just beyond them. A world that's just mine, and it sometimes it feels more like home than this place does. It's a world full of bright colors, colors so vivid I can almost never find the right shades to paint them with. But I still try. Like, in the middle of the night I've gotten up because these intense dreams will wake me up and I have to start sketching them before I lose them. And I just see the most fantastic things. Like up in the sky there?"

He pointed towards a few extra puffy clouds, and Levi followed his hand intently, before he continued, "The sky is just so vast, like the sea, and sometimes I think of things like, 'what if mermaids or whales swam in the sky instead?' And then I just have to paint it. Or I imagine what kinds of fantastic things live in the jungles of Brazil, or think about the adventures a knight might go on if I were to create my own fairytale. The possibilities are just endless, and I want to give life to all of these ideas, these dreams inside my head. And I mean, people can say I sound nuts. They have before, but I don't care. They can call me crazy all I want. I just know what I see, and I want others to see that world too. What's wrong with that, you know?"

"I do know," Levi found himself nodding along. "And that sounds wonderful. You can share your dreams all you want with me, alright? And I do that too, like you said. Find myself getting up at odd hours of the night and having to write something down because I thought of a detail for my story that I hadn't before. Thinking about my characters all day, feeling like they're about to burst out of me. Yet I'm so scared that they're not going to be as bright and vivid on the page as in my head. Like I'm going to do a disservice to them if I dare let outside of my head. It's just all so confusing, having all of these dreams with nowhere to put them. But I know I'd definitely like you to include me in that world you see in your head, if that's alright with you."

"Exactly! But Levi," Eren said as he rolled over onto his front to face him, "maybe this is why we met. Maybe we're supposed to encourage these dreams into the light. We didn't have the courage to do it when we were alone, but together? Together I think we can do it. How about this? You write a little bit, and I'll paint a scene from it. Write something really good to inspire me, okay? And I'll paint something really good to inspire you?"

Levi looked stunned. He suddenly found it hard to meet his eyes, not even knowing how to respond to such a statement. He was caught off guard because no one had ever encouraged him in such a way. No one had ever expressed interest in the world inside his head. Granted, he had told Hanji a little bit about it, but he could tell she was only interested to be polite. And though Eren had mentioned wanting to see Levi's work before, now he really seemed serious, as he had laid out an actual plan for it.

But still…

"I'll think about it," he finally said.

Eren's smile slipped a bit; the other man didn't look as confident in himself as the boy was in both of them. Why not? If he was really passionate, then his writing shouldn't be anywhere nearly as bad as Levi probably thought it was. Eren tilted his head and his lips curved into another grin, and he scooted forward until he was right next to Levi, before he shifted so that he was hovering above him, placing a hand in the grass beside this head, partially caging him. Levi froze, eyes widening, too scared to move in case it might shatter whatever was happening. Eren looked into his eyes purposefully and leaned down so that their faces were closer together. Levi felt his breath quicken and his pulse hammer in his throat.

The boy's eyes were intense and yet somehow still comforting and gentle as he said, "I mean it, Levi. I believe in you. You're not giving yourself nearly enough credit. I'm your friend, aren't I? And friends don't lie to friends. If I say you should write and that you'll be good at it, then you should write."

He squeezed Levi's shoulder with the hand not holding him up, and then got up, sitting back on his heels. "Now come on. Let's get you home so you can start on that story, yeah?"

Still reeling, it took a minute for him to respond, but when he did, his voice came out much lower than it probably should have for the situation. "Yeah. Um, right behind you."

Eren's blinding smile didn't fade, and Levi could feel burning heat in his face travelling all the way down his chest and stomach. The heat didn't leave him even as they walked out to the front of the estate to reach the carriage waiting for them, and he felt tingles and shivers skittering under every inch of his skin. He had to try very hard not to start trembling, otherwise he was afraid Eren might think he had a fever and was shivering for it, then he might start worrying and fussing over him.

Actually, that didn't sound so bad.

Far too soon, they made it to the carriage, and Eren, bless his heart, actually held the door open for him. But before they could bid each other goodbye or Levi could step in, both of them heard a set of footsteps shuffling through the grass and then crunching onto the gravel. They looked up, and standing beside Eren now was a woman Levi had never seen before. However, the woman's appearance made the boy frown.

"What's the matter now?" Eren asked, crossing his arms.

The woman's expression didn't change, though she did fix Levi with an intense stare that made the older man feel very uncomfortable. He shifted as she asked in a flat tone, "Is this Levi?"

"So what?"

"…I need to talk to him," she said after a moment, her eyes still never leaving his. Levi looked helplessly over at his friend, both to break that unwavering eye contact and as a silent question as to who this person was. Eren narrowed his eyes at her.

"No you don't, Mikasa, leave him alone," he said. "He doesn't need you scaring him off. Besides, I'm not a child, I can make friends with whoever I want and you don't have to worry about whether or not"-

"Eren," she cut him off, holding up a hand, "Go. Just for a minute. I need to talk to him."

"Mikasa"-

"Now. Or else I'll put a snake in your shoe and you won't know which pair until you go to put them on."

He bristled at her, growling quietly, but at the same time he knew she would make good on her threat; she had done things like this before. So, with a frustrated sigh, he said, "Five minutes. Be nice to him." He glanced up at Levi with sympathy. "Sorry, Levi. I'll be back soon."

Still not fully understanding what was going on, Levi watched him go, jogging off towards the barn while he occasionally looked over his shoulder worriedly at him while giving this woman dirty looks every once in a while. They both watched him go, and once she decided he was far enough away, she turned back to him.

Surprisingly, it was Levi who spoke first. "So, you're the sister I take it? My friend Dr. Ware mentioned you."

"Hmm," she hummed, looking him up and down. Levi stood his ground though, the eye contact making him uncomfortable but not frightening him. Oddly enough, women didn't really intimidate him, perhaps because he was so used to dealing with Hanji. Other men were what scared the living daylights out of him. He crossed his arms, ready to do battle just in case this girl was going to try and separate him and Eren from each other. As scared as he was of his attraction to him, he was just as scared of not being able to see him again, and he wasn't going to let her do anything to jeopardize that. After a moment, she finally replied, "Yes. Dr. Jaeger took me in after my parents died from typhoid. He felt guilty over their deaths, I suppose. As such, I've dedicated myself to helping my family however I can, one of those ways being protecting Eren. Our father says he associates himself with some rather unsavory people. I'm just being careful."

Levi shrugged. "I don't see what's so unsavory about a librarian who lives all alone and who's only friend is a successful doctor."

"…I suppose you're right. Truthfully Levi, I wanted to get you alone to also ask you a couple of things."

He waited, having no idea where she was going with this, and part of him wanting dearly to just climb into the carriage and get out of this awkward situation. However, he was doing this for Eren as well. Anything so that she would trust him and allow them to see each other without a fight. After a moment where she regarded him with another intense stare, she asked, "Eren hasn't said or done anything strange ever since you became friends with him, has he?"

Caught off guard, Levi fumbled. "Excuse me?"

"Has he done anything strange?" she repeated. "He's…he's been acting queer ever since our mother passed away."

He said, "Dr. Jaeger said as much. What do you mean by acting queer?"

"Well, he's been extremely touchy lately. He liked embracing members of his family and his friends before, but in the last year it's almost like he can't stop touching people, regardless of their gender."

Levi thought of how Eren had embraced him, or how he had hovered over him and squeezed his shoulder this afternoon, and he shrugged. "So he's affectionate. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Mikasa huffed, "Sometimes he doesn't understand that people don't want to be touched or embraced, or that he doesn't know them well enough to do so yet, or he doesn't ask if they want to be touched. He's especially odd around his male friends, but…"

She trailed off and shook her head, as if to banish whatever assumptions were running through her mind, before continuing with, "He's just been through a lot. Our mom was placed in an asylum for a few years because father couldn't deal with her mental instability anymore, before she got sick and passed away there. We all took the experience hard, but Eren and our mom were especially close. So as a result, I think he doesn't like when people leave him. I know he acts oddly when people tell him they're about to leave for the night, but- well, it's no matter. If he hasn't said or done anything, then my concerns of little consequence. Just keep an eye out, and don't feel that you have to stay around here with him if you don't want to."

Still horribly confused and saddened by this news, Levi didn't know exactly how to respond. Sure, Eren was a strange person, but he hadn't really done anything that Levi would consider off-putting or make him want to stop being friends with him. So, he replied coolly, "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you Mikasa. I suppose I'll be seeing you around?"

She hummed again and said in the same tone, "Yes, I can safely say you will."

They regarded each other for a long moment, as if waiting for the other to flinch in this strange standoff. However, the staring contest was only broken when Eren reappeared, saying that that was enough interrogation. Levi softened up right away, sinking into the boy's goodbye hug, even wrapping his arms around him in return. He had to resist closing his eyes in bliss as Mikasa was still watching them. However, he could subtly inhale Eren's scent and focus on the firmness and warmth the boy's body against his, committing both to memory.

And even when he did finally climb into the carriage and ride away, Eren's smell still lingered in his nose and his promises and realizing their dreams together lingered in his ears.

But dreams had no place in reality, did they? No, absolutely not, Levi thought with a sad shake of his head. Life had taught him that long ago.

000

The smell of sun warmed grass. The sun on his skin. Light, quick breaths. Fire in his veins. All things he had never experienced all at once before.

Eren was hovering above him like he had been that afternoon, although now he was doing far more than just staring down at him. Under the sun and in the fields of the estate, Eren was kissing him senseless, tracing feather light kisses down his neck towards his collarbone. Just as light were the caresses down his chest and along his sides, the pads of his fingers and his palms warming the pliant skin. Levi arched under the touch, hands above his head as the grass tickled his back, burning with a need he didn't fully understand.

"Eren," he gasped, voice reedy with desire, "Please…"

"Shh," Eren breathed against the skin between his neck and shoulder. "I know. I know what you want. Relax, my love, I'll make you feel good, I promise."

My love…those words washed over him like rain and made sweet warmth fill his chest. No one had ever called him that before, and when Eren wrapped his arms around him a pulled him against his chest, sucking at the skin of his neck, he realized he had never been held this intimately before, or this long by someone. His head tipped back, his eyes closed in bliss, and his damp lips parted around little pants. He clung to Eren desperately, nails lightly scratching the bare skin of his shoulder blades.

"I'm right here," Eren reassured him. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you."

He punctuated his statement by slotting their hips together, both of them still wearing their trousers, and grinding. He thrust so slowly, the heat and humidity between their bodies high, the pleasure so intense it was nearly unbearable. Unused to such contact, Levi keened, his thighs trembling delicately, and unable to help himself, he ground back against Eren. His groin was throbbing, so aroused by seemingly so little, but Eren didn't seem to mind. There was color high in his cheeks, a flush down his neck and chest and he was looking down at Levi like he was the boy's entire world. It was so beautiful, so visceral, that it made Levi's chest ache.

However, looking down at Levi with such reverence made Eren stop moving, and this made the older man squirm restlessly, pleading for more. At the sound of his pretty begging, Eren grinned, saying, "You want more, precious? I can give you more. Hmm…would you like my hand on your cock? Would you like me to stroke you until you can't take it anymore? Until you die that little death with me?"

"Eren!" Levi cried, his whole body trembling, wanting and wanting and wanting. He was grinding his arousal against his partner's wantonly, every fiber of his being screaming to the boy that yes, he would die over and over again with him if that was what he wanted. Anything Eren wanted, he would do, hopelessly enthralled as he was. Eren grinned down at him again and separated their bodies, but before Levi could protest, he saw the boy's hand travel down between his hips, slipping under his pants, before his warm palm slid over the top of his cock to rest there. Levi gasped, slamming his legs together, never before having felt the touch of another in such an intimate place. He rarely even touched himself, feeling far too much shame when he did, because he could only feel pleasure if he imagined another man's hand instead of his own rather than a woman's.

And then Eren began to stroke and squeeze, and grind his palm against the very tip of his swollen cock, and as a result Levi let his legs gradually fall apart, the boy's name on his lips. He pressed his hips into his partner's hand, pleading with everything he was worth for more, for Eren to stay with him forever, to hold him forever, and he heard blessed assurances being whispered to him that yes, he would hold Levi for as long and as tightly as he pleased, and would bring him as much pleasure as he desired.

Then Levi woke up.

His eyes snapped open with a gasp, and the first thing he became aware of was that his whole body was thrumming, burning and tingling, with the burning being concentrated between his legs. His cock was throbbing terribly, and his thighs were clenched tightly. Had he been rubbing his thighs in his sleep? As he woke up more, he could also swear he had been moaning. Had he been saying Eren's name? His eyes flicked up to his curtains, seeing that light was just barely spilling between them. His thighs were trembling and his whole body was shivering, yet he felt so hot…

He could never remember feeling like this, ever in his life.

Yes, he had been aroused before, but never to this degree. He had never wanted another person so badly before, never wanted them to touch him, or to touch them himself. Never wanted to kiss them, or to stay with them every waking moment of his life, as well as his moments asleep. He wanted and wanted and wanted with every cell he had, and he didn't know what to do with such an overwhelming feeling.

Those thoughts woke him up fully, and once the sleep began to fade from his mind he was painfully and horribly aware of the state he was in. He sat up abruptly, scared to pull back his blankets, but knowing he had to. When he did, he saw that his cock was completely swollen and hot, the insides of his thighs flushed a deep red as well. Thankfully there was no evidence of release anywhere, but his sense of revulsion was no less great. Feeling dizzy and sick, he leaped out of bed and stumbled across the floor, frantic to make the erection go away as well as somehow quell the fire burning inside of him. He couldn't feel this way about another man, much less someone as innocent and sweet as Eren. He just couldn't. If it were possible, he felt as if he might castrate himself right there in his apartment if that would get rid of the desire he felt. However, he most certainly didn't have those kinds of tools on hand. So instead, he opted for the next best thing. His somewhat fuzzy gaze landed on the icebox, and before he could think about the consequences, and made his over to it, before grabbing a handful of ice, wrapping it up in a cloth, and, sucking in a deep breath, pressing the ice directly onto his groin.

The pain was instantaneous and vicious, and he had to bite his lip hard enough to taste blood in order to muffle the shout of agony that wanted to escape. He fell to his knees, releasing his lip eventually to grit his teeth together until his jaw ached, forehead pressed against the floor. He knew he must look ridiculous, body bent over in half, face contorted in deep pain while he pressed a cloth full of ice to his groin, but what choice did he have? Maybe if he did this for long enough it would damage his genitals to the point that his sex drive would be killed off entirely. Through his pain, he prayed both for this to be true, and for some divine intervention to make it so that he no longer desired Eren or any other man.

"Please," he begged whatever higher power was listening, "just end it all. I can't live like this anymore. I can't…" He paused, a sudden, horrifying epiphany occurring to him. "Oh God, what if I can't see Eren anymore? I don't think I can- no, I can't do that to him. Mikasa said he doesn't like it when people leave him. I just have to control it. I can control it. If I have to do this every time this sort of thing happens, then I will. If I have to ask Dr. Jaeger or Hanji to castrate me, then I will. But I don't…I'm not strong enough to stay away from him."

And that in and of itself was a revelation. Not only did he not want to leave Eren because Mikasa had said he didn't like people doing so, but more than that, when he looked deep inside of himself, he found that he was too weak to pull himself away from the alluring young man. He would just have to do something about his attraction, would have to take drastic measures. Anything, anything.

His eyes widened as an idea suddenly occurred to him. He knew exactly what he had to do in order to cure this lust for good. Perhaps the reason why he was so turned from women and didn't desire them was because he didn't have any experiences with them. Perhaps…perhaps…

Yes, this would work. It had to. If he wanted to have any chance of staying with Eren, this had to work. There was no other option.

And so, the next day after work, Levi bypassed the street where his apartment complex was located and continued on for several more blocks, huddled up against an invisible chill, his insides shivering with nerves. Raised in a strict Christian home, he would have never dreamed of doing something like this. Then again, he would have never dreamed of lusting after men either, and that was an even more perverted sin. It was sick, he was sick, and far too nervous to step into a church or admit his illness to a doctor for fear of being admitted to an asylum, he had to cure himself.

Soon enough he found himself in a dirtier area of town, one that the street sweepers rarely reached. He wrinkled his nose, smelling the feces, animal and human, as well as the carcasses, vomit, and general musty odor of the back alleys. It took everything in him not to turn around, but he convinced himself to stay strong, to not tremble and to hold his head high, to act like he belonged there.

In no time at all he reached it, and he knew he had judging by all of the girls with low cut bodices waiting outside, greeting men that were already milling in, greeting them as if they had been there many times before. They probably had. And now Levi was going to be among them, in this place he had heard his college mates speak about but swore himself that he'd never venture into.

But then again, extreme times called for extreme measures, and for someone like Levi, a brothel was about as extreme and as sure of a cure for his disorder as he could get.

A/N: So yeah, chapter was inspired by A Million Dreams from Greatest Showman, just pop on that song, it's essentially Eren as Hugh Jackman and Levi as his wife lol. But I'm sorry it took so long to get this out, I've been busy for the past couple of weeks! I'll try and get the next chapter out on time, but I hope you guys enjoy this one!