A/N: Been awhile since I had depression of sorts. I'm really upset...so I sorta wrote this chapter...it probably sucks...like my life...my everything about me...*sighs*...idk anymore...
...enjoy?...
And there's also a trigger warning of suicide attempt...again. so you've been warned.
Lucy felt miserble. She felt angry and miserable at the same time and she hated it. Erza had not left her side, and she was growing more annoyed by her persistence.
From the insights of her visions, Lucy had not been able to find an opportunity to escape from Erza, or seek redemption from a sharp blade. And it infuriated her to no end. And she couldn't find a reason for why she would be keeping an eye out on her. Pity? Remorse? What was it? Lucy couldn't figure it out.
As of this moment, Lucy laid on her side, facing the wall and she kept envisioning sharp blades cutting into her skin, and she kept envisioning the color of red seeping through her skin, past the penetration. And she was desperate. Desperate to see and feel the pain once more.
Every second or two, Lucy would get this urge of looking around the room to find that sharp blade. But she quickly stopped when she realized and knew that she was being watched. Why was Erza watching her so closely? And did she even bother? Lucy mourned over what kind of answers those questions could reveal, and it drove Lucy crazy.
With her gaze fixed on the wall in front of her, Lucy remained motionless and still. And did not dare to move a muscle. She didn't want to deal with the redhead anytime soon, and she didn't want to deal with her antics of why?
Erza, on the other hand, remained still and rigid on a chair, eyes fixed on a particular figure resting on her bed. Worry and strict-like gaze studied the blonde as she tried to find a way to talk to Lucy about the past without making it any worse than it was now. As worried as she was, she needed to tell Lucy and have her tell her what had happened in the past. Yet, she found it hard to tell her as days had quickly gone by.
...
When Lucy had reopened her eyes, she realized that she had fallen asleep. So she sat up slowly and quietly and and scanned her surroundings. She noted how it was dark in the room, and saw Erza leaning against her chair with her eyes closed. Lucy stared at the redhead for couple of minutes before realizing that she was alseep. The blonde studied the redhead for a quick moment before removing the comforters and placed her foot on the floor. What better time to do what she had wanting to do ever since Erza decided to be like a strict nagging supervisor?
Lucy glanced at Erza as she stood up to her feet, using the stand to balance herself. She still felt dizzy, and Erza instructed her to not go anywhere without her, according to a doctor that had recently visited. But Lucy planned on not following the doctors orders, and she planned on doing the exact opposite.
Taking a step foward, Lucy moved her hands to the wall and started to walk away from the bed, and toward the kitchen that had been made off limits but Erza. Once stepping into the kitchen, Lucy quickly scanned where a sharp blade would be located. She stumbled to a drawer and opened it as quietly as she could.
Nothing.
She moved on to the next drawer.
Nothing.
She moved yet to another drawer.
Nothing
Growing frustrated, pictures of a sharp silver knife made Lucy even more desperate. She needed it. She wanted it.
Taking a deep, quiet breath, Lucy started her search again and tried to find them again, but in cabinets.
After opening three cabinets, she growled when she couldn't find them in either of the cabinets.
She looked down at the floor and tried to think.
...Lucy knows that this is Erza's place...
And idea just sprang in her mind. If this was Erza's place, then there should be swords that she could use. But only one question remained...where could they be?
Lucy walked out of the kitchen and looked around the living room. A frown made it was to her face as she couldn't find one.
She turned back to see Erza still sleeping, leaning against her chair. Lucy silently gulped as she walked into another room. She observed it to be a guest room, but she inwardly smirked as she saw couple of armors and swords on display on the far end of the wall.
Lucy silently closed the door and tried to lock it, but saw that it didn't have a lock. She frowned at that, but moved toward the collection of armors and swords nonetheless. Once she got close, she eyed a particular sword that hung magnificently next to an set of armor. It was an armor she hadn't seen before, but it looked so pretty and sturdy.
Lucy reached out toward the sword and grabbed the hilt and lifted it off of its place. Once she removed the sword, she almost dropped it to the ground, not expecting the heavy weight of the small sword. Because it was heavy.
But Lucy didn't mind as she sat on the ground, placing the sword on her lap. She glanced at her bandaged wrists and unwrapped it. Scabs and a slightly healed skin was all Lucy could see, and she intends on changing it again.
Lucy grabbed the sword and placed the sharp edge against her damaged skin. In a split second, she roughly cut into her skin as hard as she could, and hoped that her pain tolerance was high, because she wanted to make another one.
Blood immediately spills out, covering Lucy's arm in red. They dripped onto Lucy's thighs and to the floor, and they stained the sword all the while. But the blonde didn't care at all, and she watched as they continued to spread.
Lucy removed the sharp edge that was still penetrated in her skin, and moved the sharp edge next to the oozing wound and planned on making another deep cut.
But, before Lucy could push down on the sharp edge, she was harshly pushed bakwards, falling into her back, and the sword was sent flying in the other direction.
When Lucy turned to see who had pushed her, she saw Erza glaring at her. She silently glared at the redhead, and waiting for anything to happen. Because she can see the anger in Erza's eyes.
...
Erza had only closed her eyes to rest after pulling an all nighter. And then the next thing she knew when she had reopened her eyes, Lucy was gone.
She immediately sprang to her feet and looked around, trying to find the blonde. She ran into the kitchen and saw opened cabinets and drawers and knew what Lucy was trying to do. She ran out of the kitchen, and checked the bathroom, only to find it empty. She checked all of the rooms and found no traces of the blonde.
But there was one room that Erza did not check. she walked up to the door and slowly opened the door and walked into the room. She suddenly stopped in her tracks as she she's Lucy with a sword, and she could see puddles of blood beneath Lucy.
In a swift motion, Erza ran forward and used one hand to push Lucy backwards and used her other hand to knock to sword out of reach. Lucy fell and landed on her back, and a noise of clanking sounds could be heard when the sword and clashed against one of Erza's many armors.
Erza stood still, towering over the blonde with an angry glare.
"Lucy. What. Is. The. Meaning. Of. This?" Erza intoned at the blonde.
Lucy didn't answer, and she wasn't planning on talking to Erza again. And Erza knew it. But Erza will not have it.
Erza gritted her teeth when she got no response, so instead she knelt down and summoned a towel and went to grab Lucy's bleeding arm. But Lucy whipped her arm out of Erza's reach.
"Stay away!" Lucy shouted as she tried to crawl away.
But Erza was not having it as she closed the distance, grabbing for Lucy's arm once again.
But Lucy used her other arms and tried to get keep Erza away from her. But Erza grabbed her good arm and held it firmly without hurting the blonde. She tugged the blonde toward her and grabbed the other arm when it was within reach.
Lucy struggled against the grip of the redhead as Erza closed in on her. Erza forced Lucy to lay on her back and straddled the blonde.
"Hey! Get off me!" Lucy cried as she struggled, desperately to get older girl off of her.
Erza ignored her grabbed Lucy's bleeding arm and the towel that she had summoned and wrapped it around the wound, causing the blonde to writhe in pain.
"Let me go!" Lucy yelled, trying to kick Erza, but to no avail, and Erza had a pretty good grip.
"You need to get it looked at...again" Erza frowned at the growing spots of red on the towel wrapped around Lucy's wound.
"I don't care! Get the hell off of me!"
"No. This needs to be resolved." Erza frowns as she tried to think of a way to calm the blonde.
"No it doesn't! Nothing needs to be resolved! Now get the fuck off of me!" Lucy screamed as she glared at Erza, trying to push her off.
There was a moment of pain and hurt in Erza's eyes, but it disappeared quickly as the redhead tugs Lucy to a sitting position, still straddling the blonde. The blonde would had tried to crawl away from the position, but Erza already had her arms around the blonde, hugging her gently and firmly.
"Let go of me!" Lucy whined, trying to push Erza off.
"I don't like it when you hurt yourself like this." Erza murmured as she tightened her grip on the blonde.
"Why should you care!? Care about someone else! I don't need your pity! Get the hell off of me!"
Erza silently sighs and reluctantly lets go of the blonde, but kept a solid grip on her uninjured arm. "Because you're my friend. And I worry about my friends."
Lucy silently growled at the redhead and tried to whip her arm away, but couldn't because Erza had a strong grip on her. "Friends? Then if we weren't friends, then you wouldn't worry?"
Erza gave her a look of slight anger and hurt. "Don't say that, Lucy."
"I can say whatever I want!"
Erza frowns and gets up, and carried Lucy over her shoulders.
"Let me down!" Lucy cried, hitting Erza's back.
Erza ignored her and walked back into the room that Lucy was using and placed the blonde on the bed. Lucy moved away from the redhead in annoyance and laid down, facing the wall.
"I'm going to call Wendy to heal that for you. So just wait." Erza said as she picked up a lacrima nearby.
Lucy wanted to tell Erza to not do it. But she knew that the redhead will not listen and will do it against her will. So she kept quiet and gave off a murderous aura that'd directed toward the the redhead.
Erza placed the lacrima down and sighed after making the call. Wendy will be arriving very shortly. And she was growing more concerned for Lucy as her behavior had grown more violent and cold. She was unsure of what to do with this behavior, and she wanted to fix that.
And perhaps telling Lucy about her father may have to wait. Erza contemplated on what methods should be used when telling Lucy when the time was right. But when would the time be right? That's the question Erza don't have the answer to.
A/N: Hmm...make Lucy suffer more? Or have it resolved sooner?
Well, hoped you liked this. Please review and comment on your thoughts! I don't bite~
Toodles!~~