When Levi first figured out that he fancied men back when he was a child, he found himself often dreaming about his ideal partner; sometimes daydreaming, and sometimes it happened when he was asleep. The one thing these dreams all had in common was that his ideal man always seemed to be someone tall, someone that could make him laugh, someone that was extremely patient and forgiving, someone that would hold him whenever he asked and someone that made him forget about his fear of the dark because their presence would be so bright and overwhelming.
He often dreamt of situations where he would be extremely nervous and this man would be there with him, smiling down at him and reassuring him that there was nothing to be afraid of. He dreamt of someone that saw his tears and would pick him up and dance with him until they dried and he was laughing against their chest. He dreamt of a person that loved him in spite of his imperfections, that helped him through them and made him so happy that he forgot about how alone he used to be.
He dreamt of someone that made him feel safe.
Perhaps that was why he and Eren bonded so quickly. The boy's presence felt familiar, somewhere deep down, like his heart knew him and what he would be like before they ever said a word to each other. His heart recognized that smile and that laugh because he had heard them before, even if it was never in the waking world. Though he was often afraid of something going wrong, things between he and Eren often played out like a waking dream, somehow soft and ethereal. And perhaps this was all a dream, as ridiculous as the notion was. If so, he was fine with staying asleep forever.
It was silly to call his life now a fairytale, but that's what it felt like. And his fairytale only became better when Eren told him that he loved him for the first time. He thought his heart might explode with affection for the boy underneath him in the snow, and at that moment, he felt exactly like Snow White, the fairytale princess that Eren also referred to him as sometimes. Eren genuinely seemed like the prince who had found her in that gold and glass coffin in the middle of the woods and whisked him away, if he could call his dingy apartment a gold and glass coffin and a tiny overpopulated city in New York the middle of the woods. It certainly was a concrete jungle ever since the Industrial Revolution happened. The Jaeger mansion really was a slice of natural heaven away from town, a dream in and of itself.
For Levi, being in love was a new, wonderful feeling. He had certainly been infatuated with other people before. He had wanted to be around a particular lad that had caught his eye in the past and had taken any excuse he could to be near him without of course stating what his intentions were. The good part about being an invert is that in part no one really understood how many of them there were so no one suspected him of being one, so he could watch his classmates changing while simultaneously fighting the guilt that welled up within him all he wanted. But Eren had helped him overcome that guilt and realize that at least he wasn't alone in his feelings for the same sex. And if other people were like him, was it really so wrong? Besides, he had a hard time believing that someone as wonderful and kind as Eren could be bound for Hell. So, little by little, he began to step away from those beliefs that had been pounded into him ever since he was small, and it was incredibly freeing.
Yes, being in love was wonderful, but it was equal parts sweet and warm as it was wild and terrifying. Levi had never come across someone that he felt like he would die for, or change who he was for if he asked. If they somehow were discovered, he was surprised to find that when he looked deep down inside himself, he would volunteer to go to prison in Eren's place. He would rather sacrifice his reputation than the boy sacrifice his. After all, Levi was nobody, and Eren had great standing in the community. If Levi had to throw away everything he had ever wanted to accomplish in life so that Eren could be happy and live a long life, then so be it.
Levi shook his head, trying to banish these morbid thoughts. This was no time to be thinking about such awful things anyway, not when the new year had just begun, 1891 finally upon them. Eren was beaming like the sun behind him and practically pushing him into the carriage, so enthusiastic that he nearly made Levi knock his hat off on the top of the doorway. He put a hand on it and ducked inside, laughing to himself.
"How old are you?" he said fondly. "The theater isn't going anywhere. We'll get there in plenty of time."
Eren practically leapt in behind him in one jump, wiggling giddily as he sat down across from him. "But you've never been to the theater before!" he exclaimed. "This is exciting! I can't wait to show you it. And we got really good seats in the balcony so you can see everything. Besides, I've never seen it either. It's a new ballet all the way from Russia, never seen here in America before. And it'll be cool to see one of our favorite fairytales playing out in front of us! I wonder what the music will be like…"
Levi snickered, saying, "You don't have to keep selling it to me, I know it'll be amazing. I can't wait to experience my first event in a theater."
The boy gave him a slightly devilish look, eyes narrowing playfully when he added, "Plus, as far as I know, we'll have the balcony all to ourselves. So we can hold hands the whole show if you'd like?"
Levi matched his impish expression, answering, "Does Prince lose his mind every time I get his leash out and tell him we're going for a walk?"
Eren laughed at that, still barely able to contain his excitement.
The theater wasn't too far away, located near a lot of the entertainment centers in the city. There was a shopping square that Levi sometimes went to here that sold lots of high end clothes and such, so he mostly only came here to window shop. But he had gotten Eren's Christmas present from here, a new set of what the shop owner had told him were high quality paints and a new sketchbook, things he figured every artist always needed. Eren nearly burst into tears when he received his gift, and likewise Levi nearly fainted when he received his from Eren. It had been a custom made silver pocket watched with diamonds around the border, and on the inside it had been engraved with one simple phrase: Only truth doth speak my heart, Untill never do we part. It was too much for him to take, and he had sat there, getting all choked up over a watch of all things, so Eren held him, both of them laughing and crying like a couple of fools.
Soon enough, their carriage was pulling up in front of a large, crowded, brightly lit building. It reminded Levi a lot of the Jaeger mansion, except if it was possible, it was even bigger and grander. He could tell immediately that if Eren wasn't with him there was no way he'd be able to afford a balcony seat in his lifetime. Just seeing the building though suddenly made him as excited as Eren, and even though the boy told him he'd been to plays and other ballets here before, he was acting like this was his first time.
Well, he supposed it was, in a way. His first time going to one of these with a lover, so he'd been told. And that of course is a much different and more fun experience than going with family.
Eren hopped out of the carriage before it even stopped, and he heard an exclamation from the driver but paid no attention. Levi of course waited until it rolled to a stop like a civilized person and rolled his eyes at him as he finally got up and stood in doorway, the door of course hanging open.
"You're going to get killed doing that and I'll have no sympathy for you when you do," he chastised, gracefully and carefully getting down himself.
Eren pretended to be shocked, slapping a hand over his heart and acting like he'd been shot. "You wound me. Snow White has a bit of the evil queen in him."
Levi snorted, coming to stand beside him, and saying, "More than a bit I'd say. I conspired with Mikasa you know. Gave her some of my recipes so she can cook you something besides sweets when I'm not there. Heavens knows you need to save your teeth, you only get one set."
"Oh now you've gone too far, you beast."
If he could have, the older man would have leaned up and kissed his cheek. But as it was while they were in public like this, the most he could do was reach up and pull his hat over his eyes. Eren fumbled in the lot, fixing his hat, only to see Levi sticking his tongue out at him. Maturely, Eren did the same to him, and the two of them chased each other up to the queue to get in, surprising a few of the other patrons. They were passed off as rowdy teenagers, which that was pretty much how they acted when they were left alone.
However, they stood quietly in the line, each chattering like little birds over what the show might be like. Levi of course was now unable to contain his excitement since they were physically here, wondering what it would be like to watch a show in one of the fanciest seats in the theater. What was a real show like? His parents had told him about them since they had been to a play or two before he had been born, and they had said they'd take him to one sometime, but of course had passed away before they could. So, he decided he would enjoy this show for them too.
Levi's heart hammered as the line moved from the chilly outdoors towards the inside of the building, even more so when Eren handed their tickets to the man inside the ticket booth. They passed through the till, each keeping the stub they were left with for their ticket so they would know where they were supposed to sit. Levi followed him up the stairs to their immediate right, the older man's senses all being stimulated at once. He tried to look everywhere all at once, to take everything in.
"Oh Eren," he breathed, eyes sparkling like a child's.
The whole place was magical, or at least it seemed that way to Levi, who's immediate response to anything he found amazing was to romanticize it and figure out how he could fit it into his story. It was like they were in another world now. There were rows upon rows of seats beneath them, all close together. The place smelled peculiar, not bad, just very specific, like oil and upholstery and perfume. Lots and lots of perfume, whether it be from the stage or the ladies that were already seated around them. When they sat down in their seats, Levi marveled at how soft and plush they were. They were deep red just like most of the surrounding décor. The curtains were the same deep red, and even from the distance they were at he could see that they were massive and heavy. If one of those curtains fell on top of him, he had no doubt that they would kill him. But oh, the stage itself was something grand. Levi leaned forward in his seat, craning his neck as he beheld it. It was made of a dark, rich wood that shone even in the low light. There were gaslights that lined the edge of the stage, bringing to mind all the stories Levi had heard of dancers' dresses catching on fire because they gotten too close to lamps. He very much hoped that such a thing wouldn't happen tonight.
Even with the lights low and the stage still, Levi still couldn't get enough. Eren was absolutely infatuated with his excited expression. He already knew watching his reaction was going to be more entertaining than the actual play. Levi was gazing up and around at the crowds in the seats beneath them. It was an amazing thought that if he came here by himself, he would probably be down in one of those seats, and he had always envisioned himself sitting in one those seats. But here he was, in one of the most luxurious seats in the theater, something that people like him could only dream of. All of the people in the other balconies were dressed like they were, most of the older ones even more so. The men were in their best, pressed suits, their hats now in their laps like his and Eren's were. The women wore their best and biggest jewels around their necks or on their fingers, some wearing glittering feathers in their hair or sparkling dresses. Some of the other men had pocket watches too, the bright chains sparkling by their pockets in their pants or on their vests. It made Levi happy that now he had one too, one that he would treasure forever.
He turned to Eren once he was able to tear his eyes away from the scenery and asked his partner, "So how will we know when the show starts? Do they tell us or something?"
Eren laughed quietly. Levi was too adorable and he just couldn't take it. "The lights in the theater will dim and the lights on the stage will get brighter. Then the curtains will pull back and you'll see all the dancers on stage. You might even see the orchestra moving into the pit down there."
He pointed to a dark area in front of the stage that Levi hadn't seen at first, but now he couldn't stop gazing at it. So there was where the music would be played.
"Live music," Levi said to himself, and then to Eren, "I've never seen live music before I met you. I do love music myself. I'm excited to hear what songs they'll play. Do you think they'll fit with the story well? Like, if we heard them later, we'd immediately think 'yes, that sounds like Sleeping Beauty, I always imagined this type of music to go with this story?"
"You are so cute," Eren said, reaching over and ruffling his hair. "I guess we'll see though, won't we?"
Soon enough, though not soon enough for Levi's liking, the lights dimmed and the musicians began to filter into the pit, all of them carrying their instruments carefully. Then, the heavy curtain lifted.
And from there, slowly, bit by bit, Levi's mind was blown.
He had no idea what to expect for this show, but whatever it was, this was far beyond anything he could have conjured up. He had heard of ballet dancers before, had seen them in books, but it was something else entirely to watch them move. It was so beautiful, so graceful, both the women and the men managing to perform these extremely taxing physical feats and yet somehow making it look effortless. How long did they have to practice, he wondered? He knew in a million years he'd never be able to do something like that.
It was amazing though, watching a story play out in front of him that he had only read about before, and in a way that he couldn't have imagined. The beautiful sets and costumes made everything come alive for him, and he found himself on the edge of his seat as he watched the drama unfold. Now, this version of the story was a bit more sanitized than other versions he had read; the princess wasn't raped in the middle of the woods and her children weren't in any danger of being cooked by an evil queen. So needless to say it was not the version written by the Grimm brothers. This version instead had fairies that took care of the princess in a cottage in the woods, and oh the woods were gorgeous. Levi found himself analyzing the set as much as the performances, loving how much attention to detail was paid. Everything was painted and sculpted with care, and he found himself wishing he could stand among all the fake trees and bushes on the stage. He might actually feel like he was in the woods then. Even the stream on stage sparkled like it was real.
However, nothing sparkled as much as the costumes. Everything matched the mood perfectly, from the princess' commoner rags to her royal gown, all tailored for a ballet setting. The woman they picked to play princess Aurora looked exactly how Levi thought she would, delicate and fair, while the prince was dashing and dark. He couldn't help but look over at Eren and smile sweetly, before glancing around at their surroundings quickly to make sure no one could see them at this angle, and then taking the other boy's hand.
"That Aurora is pretty, but she has nothing on you," he leaned over and murmured.
Well, if that didn't practically make Eren squirm with delight. He replied back with an even bigger smile, "Is that so? What about the prince?"
Levi said cheekily, "What prince? The only prince I see is right here."
The boy snorted as quietly as he could manage without attracting attention. "Heavens, my sister would say you've spent too much time around me. 'You're beginning to use the same cheesy lines as Eren.'"
"Are they working?"
"Oh yes, one hundred percent."
Of course, what enthralled Levi's attention the most about the whole performance was the music. Oh the music, it absolutely took his breath away. Not only did it compliment the scenes beautifully, but it gave off such sweet, fairytale vibes, tugging at his heartstrings and plunging him into a place he hadn't been since he was a small child. He heard the swaying, bouncy tunes being played and thought of running through the woods barefoot with woodland creatures following him. It was all so romantic and melted his heart, and it took everything in him not to lean against Eren and wrap an arm around his waist.
Then came the song that played when the prince and princess met each other for the first time.
Now that song captured Levi like nothing else. The rhythm swung back and forth, like a pendulum, and the lyrics spoke to his soul.
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream.
I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam…"
He looked over at Eren again, his lips parted in shock. This song…this song was them. He had just been thinking about this sort of thing this morning. It was- oh heavens…
"And I know it's true that visions are seldom what they seem..."
"Eren," he whispered, nodding towards the orchestra pit. "This is my favorite song. Doesn't it remind you of us?"
"I was just thinking the same thing," he answered, his eyes shining in the low light as he squeezed Levi's hand.
"Oh Eren, we're going to have to come to see this again," he begged. "I have to hear this song again."
The boy couldn't help but laugh, and found himself saying, "Anything for you, my prince."
All too soon, the show was ending and the dancers were taking their final bows. Even though it had lasted hours, to Levi, it felt like it had flown by, and when they filtered slowly out of the theater, bundling up against the cold, he couldn't help but chatter excitedly to his partner excitedly about all of his favorite parts.
"When they danced in the woods, Eren, I want to do that sometime," he told him. "Or when the prince fought the dragon, the effects they used, it was so amazing! You mean it though? We can go again?"
"Yes, I loved those bits," the boy told him, standing close to him, shielding him against the cold as they walked to the carriage. "And sure. We can see if there's any tickets left. The show is going to be here all month, so I'll see what I can do."
In the end, Eren, his wonderful, wonderful Aurora, managed to get them into the show at least four more times, all because he couldn't get enough of seeing Levi smile as he watched the goings on. And every time his favorite song came up, he got all excited and cuddly, patting at Eren excitedly. But then, he would immediately pull out a notepad and begin furiously writing something down, something that Eren couldn't see, and any time the boy asked what he was doing, he just told him it was a surprise and he'd find out later.
It wasn't until long after the show left town and Valentine's Day rolled around that Eren finally found out what it was.
Levi was excited; this was his first Valentine's Day with a sweetheart. In fact, he felt he'd never have one to spend it with considering his circumstances, so his luck did not go unnoticed. Eren had promised him something wonderful that day, while Levi promised the same.
Later that evening, Eren stopped over to Levi's apartment carrying a huge box, standing outside of his door and looking dapper as usual. Extra dapper, if Levi did say so himself. Not in the traditional sense either. He looked very relaxed, windblown and warm, his hair tousled, with comfy trousers and a soft looking shirt. Despite the cold weather, the moment he walked inside, he put down his huge box and un-tied his tie, tossing it on the bed. He unbuttoned the first couple of buttons and revealed his collarbones, and he had the immediate urge to bite them. Heavens what Eren had done to him? He had never been this shameless before. But he supposed the boy didn't mind. In fact, he might be encouraging it.
He unbuttoned his shirt even more, revealing a sliver of his toned chest. Oh yes, he was doing this on purpose.
Levi smirked. Well, two people could play at this game. As Eren knelt down to say hello to Prince, who was leaping up on his legs to ask for attention, Levi also unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt, revealing the milky skin of his neck and the hollow of his throat. When Eren looked up, he could see his breath visibly catching in his throat. He couldn't blame him he supposed. When they had made out in the closet, the lights had been off, so they hadn't seen each other's bare skin before. But now…it looked like Eren liked what he saw, that was for sure. He was practically drooling.
"So what's in the box?" Levi asked, lifting his chin and smiling down at him in a way that indicated he knew exactly what he was doing.
Eren blinked, open mouthed. He gaped like a fish for a moment, and then answered, "It's um- a um, gramophone. I noticed you didn't have one."
"A gramophone?" he wondered, tilting his head.
Eren stood up, explaining, "Well yeah. You said you liked music. So I figured we could get some music playing in here for when you write to help inspire you. But that's not all."
Levi sighed and shook his head. This was too much; Eren didn't have to spend this much money on him. He still wasn't over him constantly giving into his demands to go to see Sleeping Beauty as much as they had. He still thought he hadn't done anything to deserve it. The older man watched as he set it up, his hands moving so quickly that he had no doubt he had done this before.
When it was done and he got it playing, Levi was absolutely astounded to hear the first few notes of his favorite song from the ballet filtering from the bell.
"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream…"
It was so light and happy, tugging on his heartstrings the way it had the first time he heard it. And now he could listen to it any time he wanted to? In his own home? This was a gift beyond imagining. But of course, Eren had to outdo himself by holding out his hand, and asking in a low voice, "Did you want to honor me with a dance? I've owed you one since our Christmas party. It's just a shame that we can't dance in front of everyone so I can show them just how much I care about you."
It took Levi a minute to process the request, but when he did, his heart leapt. He beamed at the boy, taking his hand and answering, "Of course. I've wanted a dance since then as well."
Eren pulled him over towards where the gramophone was sitting on the floor. They fiddled around for a moment, trying to figure out where to place their hands on each other. It was a bit awkward since they were both men and tried to decide who was going to lead in the dance. In the end, Levi let Eren do it since he had more experience, and he himself was shorter anyway. Once they were settled, they let the music wrap around them, and Eren set off, taking him through some very easy steps, nothing too fancy since they were alone.
It was wonderful, Levi decided very quickly. Yes they were dancing, but very slowly, no pressure to perform or follow any set dancing pattern. It was mostly them swaying slightly back and forth to the rhythm, Eren holding Levi close. Very quickly, it became apparent that it was more about the two of them being close together than any actual dancing, and Levi was more than fine with this. So, they glided over his old wooden floor, trying to avoid the floorboards that creaked, Prince skittering around their feet, as if he were joining in.
"It's a great coincidence that you chose this song," Levi said after a moment, "because it goes with my present for you. It's not much, I apologize, but um, here we go…Now keep in mind, I haven't really sung much since I was a teenager in our church's choir, so I'm probably out of practice."
Still keeping up their easy, slow pace, Eren looked down at him expectantly, and then his mouth fell open once more when Levi began to sing. The voice that came out of him was low and deep, but soft and terribly intimate in their cozy setting. He was singing the lyrics to the song and looking at Eren like he was his Prince Charming, like every word of the song was meant for him and him alone.
"But if I know you, I know what you'll do,
You'll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream."
He repeated the stanzas twice, all quiet and romantic, at once point even tucking his head under Eren's chest trustingly, trying to get as close to him as possible. He swore he could hear the boy's heart beating a mile a minute through the thin skin of that bare slice of his chest. And Levi had a brief moment where he hated that they had to pull down the shades of his window to hide them from prying eyes. He wanted everyone to see how much they loved each other, that they were just as infatuated and devoted to the other as non-inverted couples. That they could have a song that was "their song" and dance together like those couples. That they were no different.
It just wasn't fair.
Once the song finally faded out, they stopped dancing, and Levi couldn't find it within himself to look at the boy anymore, his face feeling hot. It had been years since had sung in front of anyone, and he was sure his voice sounded awful. He didn't want to see Eren's expression that would confirm what he was sure was disgust. So he stuttered out, "So um, that's what I was writing down when we went to the ballet. The lyrics to the song. I wanted to practice it so I could sing it for you since I thought it encapsulated our relationship so perfectly. Even before I met you Eren, I feel like I've known you for years. I saw you in my dreams as the man I wanted to be with someday, someone who loved me for who I was and who made me feel safe. Who was as kind and careful with others as he was with me. And when I first saw you at that party, I had that uncanny rush of 'This is the man I've been seeing in my dreams for years.' And I knew I couldn't let you go. Being with you has been like a dream, and I never want to wake up from it. I'm sorry, this is all horribly cheesy isn't"-
He didn't get to finish. Eren had taken his face between his palms and held it still while he pressed a kiss to his lips, a kiss that effectively silenced him. Once he processed his new position, Levi relaxed, letting himself melt into it, his eyes slipping closed. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders, tilting his head to the side, deepening it.
They only parted when they needed air, their lips separating with a soft sound, and the look in Eren's eyes when he gazed down at him took his breath away. It was beyond a look of just love: it was tenderness, reverence, devotion and an understanding that was both deep and profound. He caressed Levi's cheek with his thumb, sighing fondly, so fondly.
Levi couldn't look away.
"This is the greatest Valentine's Day I've ever had," he said in a voice gravelly with emotion. "The fact that you took the time and practiced a song for me is far more valuable than anything I could have ever bought you. It means more to me than all the gold and jewels my family possesses. From here on out, I'll never hear that song and not think of you, or this moment. My precious Doll, my fair Snow White, I love you as much as Aurora loved her prince, and you've awoken my soul as much as he awoke her from her deep sleep."
Levi choked up as well, not knowing what to do with such beautiful words. He dipped his head forward, but Eren prevented it, placing a finger under his chin so he could keep looking at his lovely face. He continued with, "You're very right though. I too felt like I've known you for years, and that we've met before in dreams."
"I'm glad it's not just me then," Levi admitted.
"Of course not. Now, could you do me the honors of singing for me again?"
Delighted beyond belief, Levi obliged, snuggling back into his boy again, letting the music take them away.
A/N: Thank you Eveningstargazer for coming up with the inscription inside Levi's watch! And if you haven't guessed, the song in here is from both the Sleeping Beauty Ballet and the Disney movie, "Once Upon a Dream." I consider that the theme song for this fic, so you'll see it pop up more in this fic.
