A/N: Forgot to upload this on here. Sorry for those that had been waiting. Erlu is taking several steps in the direction we all had been waiting for.
(Excuse me if the fluff wasn't natural or smooth.)
Enjoy.
It was silent and peaceful, and Lucy didn't really appreciate feeling the warm comforter that covered her body being ripped away from her. She groaned and patted her hands around to find the comforter again while keeping her eyes shut, too tired to open them. She muttered incoherently as she couldn't find the warm blanket and curled into a ball and tried to sleep again, comforter or no comforter.
But of course, whoever removed the comforter wasn't taking the hint and started saying something. But Lucy ignored them and continued to sleep. Sleep was important, and sleep is what she will do. But after a moment, a firm hand wrapped itself around the young girl's arm and practically forced her into a sitting position.
"God damnit Lucy! What the hell is this!?" The voice said, and Lucy could've sworn that it sounded familiar. But she was too tired to care.
She was too tired to even formulate a response to whatever the person said... what did the person say again? She just wanted to sleep. "Five more minutes." She mumbled as she slumped sideways and onto the mattress and tried to drift off again.
"Lucy. Wake up." The voice said again, forcing the blonde back into the sitting position, seemingly persistent in waking up the blonde.
Lucy groaned at the persistence of the voice and forced to crack her eyes open, only to see a familiar voice. Red hair and concerned brown eyes peered down at her. Concerned? It looked more like anger in her eyes. "Five more minutes Erza."
"Sure. I'll let you sleep. Once you tell me why you did this again." Erza's eyes glanced down with frustration.
Lucy followed Erza's eyes to the bed and spotted blood, then she started to recall the moments that she did the night before. Her arm was covered in dried blood, and the bed pooled with dried blood. "Oh."
"That's all you have to say? 'Oh'" Erza scowled as she grabbed Lucy and pulled her to the edge of the bed to take a closer look at the wound. Dried blood trickled down her wrist, and the wound seemed to have stopped bleeding. Nothing too serious. And it didn't look too deep. "You could've talked to me before... this."
Lucy stayed quiet and studied the girl as she examined the wound and wrapping it a clean towel that she summoned. She noticed the grim look in the older girl's face. The grief and or sadness in her eyes.
Then she heard a soft noise somewhere and Lucy looked up to see Wendy running in with a bowl of water in her hands. "Got some water."
"Thanks Wendy." Erza didn't move as she held Lucy's arm tenderly. "She and I were going to check up on you, also to see if you wanted to go on an easier mission or to shop."
"Then I smelled blood." Wendy added. "Erza charged in and saw the mess you left in the bathroom." She set the bowl of water on the ground and knelt down, preparing to heal the wound. But Erza stopped her.
"No need." Erza placed her hand on Wendy's and pushed them down, away from Lucy. "Lucy will be fine. You may go, Wendy. I got this."
"Huh? Are you sure?" Wendy turned to see that Erza sported a stern look as she looked back at her.
"I'm sure. Lucy and I need to talk."
Wendy looked at Lucy, who seemed guilty, before she glanced at Erza and nodded. "Alright. I'll see you later?"
"Of course."
Erza waited as the door closed and now the two were alone. She equipped some first aid kit and took out the critical items for bandaging.
"Why not have her heal it?" Lucy questioned as Erza took out a bottle of disinfecting alcohol and a roll of bandages.
"The last few times, you were in a critical state. This time, well, you'll live." Erza then poured the alcohol onto the wound to clean it, causing Lucy to wince at the stabbing sensation.
Erza focused on cleaning the wound, using the water that Wendy brought it, so wash off the dry blood and to disinfect the wound. Thankfully, the wound wasn't as steep as the previous attempts. Once done, she wrapped the arm with clean bandages and soon, it was done. She stood up to her feet, dirty towel and bloodied water bowl in her hands. "Sit on the couch. I need to clean your bed."
"I can do it myself."
"Sit. On. The. Couch."
The tone that left the mouth of the redhead left no room for argument, and Lucy reluctantly moved away from the bed, and sat in a nearby chair. She watched silently as Erza stripped the bed naked of anything bloodied.
She grazed her bandaged arm mindless as she watched her bed being stripped bare. Her wound may not be actively bleeding, but it still thumped painfully from the disinfectant alcohol. The pain of it 'almost' felt welcoming. But at the same time, she didn't like it.
"Alright." Erza spoke up, throwing the bloodied sheets and comforter in a basket that's to be dealt with later. She then walked into the bathroom for a split second before walking out with the object that Lucy used last night.
Lucy rubbed her thumb over the bandage, where the wound was and pushed on it as soon as she laid eyes on the object. She felt vulnerable.
The older girl dropped the objects on the table next to the blonde and she sat in a nearby chair and stared at her, as if trying to formulate words for the situation Lucy found herself in. What could she say, and not sound angry or anything that would make Lucy shut her out even more?
The young girl wanted to scoff at the silent judgement the girl was giving her, so she decided to speak up to clear the clear misunderstanding. "I wasn't trying to... kill myself. If you really need to know."
Erza slowly nodded her head as she picked up the objects again and studied the area where Lucy had removed the rim. And she carefully held the broken rim, the tip covered in blood. "But you were desperate." Erza paused and glanced at the blonde, who held emotionless eyes as they stared at the objects in her hands. "Lucy, I get it."
Lucy dragged her eyes to meet Erza's. "Get what exactly?"
"I've been desperate before. But it wasn't healthy."
"...What changed?"
"That's the question that we have, don't we? To be honest, I'm still struggling with my problems." Erza wanted to laugh at how hopeless she sounded. And she hated feeling hopeless.
Lucy's mind felt blank and rubbed her bandaged arm to distract from how empty she felt. She felt so empty.
Erza focused her eyes on Lucy and trailed down to her the arm she treated and didn't miss how Lucy continued to rub the bandage. "I told Wendy to leave without healing you, because I thought you needed a lesson."
Lucy stopped rubbing her arm. "A lesson?"
"Hurting yourself, cutting yourself. Those wounds will heal. They always will. But give yourself too many scars, you'll cease to recognize what you want or need. It'll become an addiction, and you don't need that Lucy."
"And what do I need?" Lucy muttered tiredly.
Erza softly sighed and placed the bloodied object back on the table. "I don't know. It's different for everyone. Your father was the main cause. So, I thought talking to him while he was behind bars would help. But he's ... he escaped and you know the rest."
"Punching him in the face was quite therapeutic, if I'm to be honest." She mused at the memory of her knuckles meeting her father's jaw. Painful, but it was worth it. Totally worth it.
"After that, you seemed to get better, or I don't know. I don't know what's going on with you. You don't talk. And I want to help, Lucy. Just... please talk to me if you're feeling bad or angry or depressed."
"Talk? What's to talk about? When I don't even know myself." Lucy clenched her fists, feeling of frustration growing the more she talked about it. "I just feel empty."
"Empty?"
Lucy paused for a moment, asking herself if she should just tell her. After a moment of debate, she decided, why not?
"When I cut myself last night, it was to... fill this gaping hole left by the cuttings months prior. And you're right, it's an addiction I don't need. Because it just made the hole a whole lot bigger. I don't even know what to feel anymore, I don't even know if I should just cut my losses and move on. I don't know if I should just forget everything that happened and move on? I feel lost."
"But not... suicidal?"
Lucy scoffed. "I was desperate enough to break that little plastic bin, to feel something. So, no."
Erza scratched her nose, finding herself unable to find the words to respond. What could she even say?
"I do recognize you guys as friends though."
Erza shifted her eyes back at the blonde, who was looking at the ground with sad eyes.
"You, Natsu, Gray, Wendy, Mira, Cana. All the others. I've been rude to them." Lucy recalled the moments when this all started. How hostile she was towards them. They didn't really deserve that type of hostility, did they?
Erza was afraid to say the wrong words as the blonde spoke. She debated on the words to say before Lucy spoke again.
"The first and second time, I was angry. Blinded by me wanting to end it all. I couldn't... didn't think that anyone would actually care."
"We do care, Lucy. We-"
"I know that now. It would be selfish of me to keep attempting suicide when I have amazing friends to look out for me."
Erza sat back in her chair, trying to understand where Lucy was going with this. First off, she didn't expect the blonde to open this much in one day. So, she felt unprepared.
Lucy then raised her head and stared at Erza in eyes, which caused the older girl to freeze from the stern-like look she was receiving from the blonde. "I've been trying to figure out why I've been... lost."
"Does this have to do with you avoiding me for several days?" She was almost afraid to hear the answer, but she wanted to know.
Erza could've sworn that a slight small blush formed on Lucy's cheeks before she looked away.
"A-Ah, just needed a break from your constant bodyguard act."
Erza smiled at that. Of course, she didn't believe the blonde. But she decided to leave it at that and let the blonde continue. "Of course. Where you able to find why you been feeling lost?"
Lucy looked crestfallen as she asked that question. "Only partially. Found some answers for my other questions. Others, not so much."
"Can I ask what this question is?" The knight hoped she wasn't pushing her luck as she continued her questions and pushing the imaginary fragile boundary.
Lucy glanced at the girl and pondered her options. Should she tell Erza about that vision after that nasty fall in that last mission? The meaning of the things that she saw?
"You can tell me another time, if you need time to sort them out." Erza added, seeing that Lucy was struggling.
"A while back, I had a very vivid dream." Lucy started, before she could think, "And I tried to understand what the meaning of the dreams was."
"What kind of dreams were they?"
"Dreams that terrified me. After I woke up, the dreams followed me everywhere. To the point where I needed to understand what the dreams were trying to tell me."
The only time that this could've occurred was right before the last mission or after the mission. Erza softly sighed as she leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "Find the answers?"
"All but one."
"Maybe I can help." Erza offered quickly, wanting to help the blonde as much as she could.
Lucy was silent as she stared at Erza before she too leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, mirroring Erza's posture.
Erza found her heart beating a little too quick that she preferred. Mostly because the air around the blonde seemed to changed as she leaned forward. What was happening?
Lucy didn't say anything, as she stared at a soon-blushing redhead. Then she opened her mouth. "What is love?"
Erza's heart fluttered at the word as it escaped the blonde's mouth. If anyone else said, it would never had much of an impact than when Lucy says it. "L-Love? I-It's many things. I mean... I love strawberry cake!"
Lucy exhibited emotions of disappointment, as if it wasn't the answer she was looking for.
"What does love have to do with the dream of yours?"
"Just something that surprised me... What can you tell me about love and kissing?"
Erza blushed even more and stood up from the chair, anything to get rid of the rising heat in her cheeks. "Babies!"
"Huh?" Lucy frowned and sat back before she snickered at the redhead. "For someone who reads a lot of... interesting books, you get shy when talking about such things? Kinda cute."
"C-Cute!? I'm Titania! There's nothing cute about this!" Erza sputtered. "And what books are you talking about!?"
Lucy smiled, and it felt like its been ages since the last time she smiled. The blushing form of the redhead was honestly adorable, and she wouldn't be lying if she said she wanted to see more. A rare occurrence of a hard-headed mage turning into a blushing mess was a sight to see.
"I'm terrifying, and my foes knows this. So they will never mess with my friends, and I'll make sure they'll never hurt you Lucy!"
After the words left Erza's mouth, the blonde froze as she felt her heart skip a beat.
A/N: Lucy is slowly beginning to realize her feelings. *Slowly*
R&R. Love you guys.