Maki the Idol Slayer and Panty Damsel (AU Yeah! August 17: Sidekick)

NANI KORE?! It's PANDA DAMSEL! MAKI YOU IDIOT!

Long-suffering Best Girlfriend in the World Yazawa Nico has

agreed that her beloved Maki's heroine project needs a side-

kick. What could possibly go wrong? That was rhetorical!

Part II of NicoMaki Shorts #3 Maki the Idol-Slayer:

Life for Yazawa Nico had definitely started to slide downhill, even though she was still only 21. Today what bothered her was the way Kira Tsubasa, who she had, no word-play intended, idolized in high school, had let fame go to her head. She had become ruthless and calculating and something of a womanizer and a bully. Nico probably should have seen it coming when she flattered all the girls in Mu's, then, deciding Nico's opinion wasn't important, just said she might be the little (useless was implied) imp every act needed. Despite the fact that Nico really had been their #1 fan, never missing a live and always buying flowers to leave, starting the Otonokizaka branch of the fan club, and so on. But in general Tsubasa could be very sweet. Then again, the way she deliberately flirted with Maki all the time, and doubled down whenever Nico was around, should also have told Nico something.

Nico tried to look on the bright side: the only time they'd honestly gone head-to-head, Nico's group had soundly defeated Tsubasa's. Well, Honoka's group, but Nico had managed to surprise A-RISE. She saw it in their eyes. And in the end, she had gotten the girl, hadn't she?

But that led to the other problem: Maki The Idol/Slayer.

Tsubasa had messaged Nico that morning that she'd tricked Maki into flashing her breasts for her. She also heaped derision on Maki's super-heroine career. Sadly, it seemed like NicoMaki, at least, were still competing with A-RISE, years away from high school. Maki wasn't unwise, or unworldly in every way. But her ability to focus on a couple of things with laser precision led her to be insanely naive, and nothing Nico had come up with would fix that. The bite was that she agreed with Tsubasa. Everything from Maki's heroine title to her teen-prostitute-looking outfit made Nico cringe. A-RISE had been role models for not having much of a secret identity. As they said, why throw away half your fame? "If bad guys came after us for fighting them, our fans would rip them to pieces anyway," Anju smirked.

Maki had probably wanted to show off her portable flame thrower and her hand-carved ironwood stakes, Nico suspected. When, Nozomi no adobaisu de wa* - and those were the most foreboding five words in the Japanese language - Maki had decided to make her top a t-shirt a couple of sizes too small and cut off just below the breasts, Nico had pointed out that would make it hard to wear a bra - even a stretchy sports bra. But somehow Nozomi had convinced Maki that all the superheroines were doing it. And Nico and she had already been feuding over "Maki the Idol/Slayer," which Nico realized would cause nothing but misunderstandings.

On reflection perhaps the A-RISE girls mocking Maki over her title might help a bit. At any rate, Nico had made her a costume - insisting on a mask - and washed her hands of it. And things had settled into a comfortable routine until today.

Someone - she suspected those same A-RISE girls - had put the idea in Maki's head that she had to have a "side-kick" to be a proper heroine.

The obvious candidate was Nico, and the truth was that she couldn't entirely hate it. Maki had been wonderful helping Nico with her idol career, spending time with her, advancing her own career in sports medicine, which she also chose to support Nico, When she got the drive to be a monster-slayer, Nico had fretted over the lack of time together, and this would solve that.

The problems arose in the details.

First, her costume. It was cute. That couldn't be argued with. But it was also skimpy, and with Nico's body, she didn't look like a teen prostitute. More like a pre-teen. "Why don't you put a shougakusei's little square book-bag on my back to hold my utilities and get it over with?" She'd asked Maki. "Oh, and you could also make sure my bloomers look like bear panties, while you're at it!" But then Maki gave her such a hurt look, she shut up.

But much worse was her name. The cute little skimpy panda outfit and Maki's plans to use Nico as bait then rescue her led to a combination of "panda" and "damsel" - "Pandamuzeru." Tsubasa had "helpfully" offered to register the name for Maki. Well.

First, she had convinced Maki over the phone that "Pandamuzeru" sounded too much like Bread ("Pan") plus Damsel, and it should really be "Panddamuzeru," achieved with "Pan-tsu-damuzeru." However, Tsubasa "slipped" when sending it in, and it ended up coming in as "Pan-chi-damuzeru." So Nico was officially registered with a hero (well, sidekick) name of "Panty Damsel." Tsubasa, who often flirted with Maki, had apparently declared war on Nico, and Maki was completely oblivious.

That Maki had actually slain monsters really surprised Nico. She'd assumed Maki had lost all her sanity when she said she'd killed a monster that only ate idols, but she was able to drag the corpse out of the back alley where she'd confronted A-RISE, and when Nico got closer to it, the jaws of the beast reflexively opened and closed a bit. Maki had looked it up, and apparently idol-eaters kept moving for a day or two after death. It was interesting the beast didn't have a mark on it, but Maki refused to explain that. Nico would never forget how bad it smelled. Like an unwashed fan that had been left out in a net cafe for a week.

At any rate, Maki's latest plan involved Nico running around Akihabara looking like a runaway, and getting panderers to recruit her for the water trade or worse.

After making her rounds today, she was expected to go home and freshen up for a big super-heroine party at the mansion A-RISE had bought after their albums and PVs had taken off, shortly after leaving high school. There was no way in hell she was letting Maki go there without her, so she really didn't try that hard as bait.

"So, kaicho, you think this party will be the occasion?" Anju asked, mischievously.

"That depends on how well you and Erena and the staff can divert our jealous little imp. If you mean 'can Kira Tsubasa seduce a gullible girl like Nishikino Maki,' I think that I won't even bother discussing it!" their leader replied, smugly.

Unbeknownst to all of them, Akihabara was currently being preyed on by a criminal gang that only enslaved young idol sidekicks. Worse, Nico's aloofness when panderers approached her came off as "moe" and "tsun."

The inevitable happened, and suddenly Nico found herself inside a large sack, completely unable to see anything.

When the bag was lifted off her head, she was in the basement of a large mansion used as the gang's hideout. While her hands were immediately tied, the criminals didn't take her book bag. They had assumed what anyone would, that it was just a loli prop.

She thanked the gods that Maki had convinced her to wear it and pack it with a small amount of Maki's usual slaying gear. It had a small portable flame thrower, holy water, a blessed brush and blank scroll, a slingshot with silver shot, and a couple of wooden stakes.

Just give me enough time, she thought, grimly. Time. Time! She realized that Maki was soon going to head for the party, and she had no way of knowing where Nico was or what had happened to her. Heroines turned off their phones, Maki had insisted.

With that thought, her determination multiplied many times over, and the bonds on her wrist snapped. She removed a gag and blindfold that had been tied over her face, and the sharp edge of her makeup compact - one of the items in the book bag - cut the rest of the ropes securing her to a chair. She was able to move, and look, around for the first time. It turned out a half dozen other idol sidekicks were being kept in little cells down there. Quickly picking all the locks with her eyebrow tweasers, Nico passed out stakes and holy water. The sidekicks stared at the weapons dully for a little while, then Nico gave them a glare that snapped them out of their confusion and reminded them of what they were.

"Listen up, girls!" Nico said, loudly. "I am in charge of this mission. You're all sidekicks, right?"

When they nodded, she said, "Then SIDEKICK!" She asked around and found one of them actually knew how to use a slingshot. Some of them had been there long enough to know the defenses of the hideout. Apparently there were vampires, werewolves, and, worst of all, an ancient Chinese hopping zombie between them and freedom - and between her and Maki. Oh, and a dozen gang members.

She gave the girl who could use a slingshot the blessed shooter and the silver shot pouch. The others were told to spray a little holy water on every vampire they encountered then stake them when they writhed in agony.

Nico would handle the zombie.

Meanwhile, at the party, Maki was getting increasingly anxious. Where was Nico?

"You look so tense!" Tsubasa said. She knew Maki wasn't quite twenty yet, but gave her a flute of champagne anyway. Maki was so nervous she gulped it down. Then Tsubasa started to rub her shoulders. "Ne, ne, Maki-chan. Daijoubu, daijoubu. Don't mind!"

Maki was so soothed she momentarily forgot she was worrying about Nico.

Nico had certainly not forgotten she was worrying about Maki. Now that everyone had an assigned role, she realized she'd dismissed the gang members too blithely. She didn't really have anything in her monster-slaying kit that slew or incapacitated humans. Oversight there, she mused.

But then, through the window came a distinctive odor. Apparently, the presence of so many idol sidekicks had drawn an idol-eater out of the deep woods around the hideout.

Thinking fast, she instructed all the idol-sidekicks to line up in front of the window and dance. When they all kicked up so high you could see their spats, bloomers or panties through the window, they heard a slithering sound and a lusty roar. Nico ran ahead of the idol-eater, flashing her bear panties as she ran. She ran almost into the door then sheered off. The beast plowed through the door. Nico could hear the groans and cries of gang members being bitten by an idol-eater. Apparently it was taste testing them all to see if they were actually idols doing male gang member cosplay. She and the other sidekicks slid a bunch of furniture over where the door had been, enough even to keep an idol-eater at bay. Now it was time to get out.

Everything worked like clockwork in a steam-town. The holy water and stakes did for the vampires, the werewolves all fled or died when the slingshot-girl started pelting them with silver. And as for the Chinese hopping zombie, it was almost overkill. Nico wrote a death kanji she'd learned from Nozomi on the scroll and affixed it to its head with a bone pin. Then when it slowed down, she incinerated it with the flame thrower, cut her fingertip with her compact, then sprinkled blood and some salt she kept in a little vial on the ashes. She noticed the other sidekicks had made it to the edge of the woods where apparently they were in cellphone range.

Nico heard the sound of something fearsome groaning and retching where they'd left the idol-eater. Normally, she wouldn't sympathize with such an evil being, but then she had another great idea. She found the sack that had been used to kidnap an idol/sidekick who wasn't nearly as … petite … as Nico.

Maki suddenly remembered Nico, and just in time. She had already stood up suddenly and created a little distance with Tsubasa, which avoided awkward questions later. Because one thing Nico always claimed was that she knew how to make an entrance. And if she had ever doubted her adorable little sidekick, she never would again.

Covered in blood and scratches, her costume tattered, her hair matted and swept over one eye, and a look of murderous determination in the one that was still visible, Nico didn't exactly knock. The door burst open and Nico was inside before the guests noticed she had a bag slung over her shoulder that was much bigger than she was. And yet, somehow, her movement was poised and confident.

"Present for your party, A-RISE!" was all Nico said, dumping the contents of the sack on the parquet floor near the grand piano. And the buffet. With that, she swept a shrieking Maki up in her bloody, sweaty, but dainty arms and stormed out.

The idol eater ignored the buffet in favor of all the idols milling around in confusion. The A-RISE girls sprang into action, with no more than a couple minutes delay looking stupidly at the monster and blinking.

Nonetheless, their patented and copyrighted Rainbow Burst caused it to howl in pain and drop a couple of up-and-coming idols from Uranohoshi High School. Annoyed, it turned away seeking easier prey. One of the girls pursued it, shouting "You will obey Yohane, being of darkness!" Something about her demeanor reminded the idol-eater uncomfortably of "Sack girl," its name for Nico-nii. Regardless, it was about to blaze a trail of idol-nibbling when the sounds of an argument came through the doorway Nico had burst through a few minutes past.

"Nico-chan! What kind of heroine and sidekick leave a room full of helpless damsels to be devoured by an idol-eater?"

There was a pause, and anyone who knew Nico even marginally realized she was fighting NOT to say "our kind?"

Finally, coming closer, they heard the little idol saying "Fine. Fine!" Then some muttering that sounded like "Aren't they supposed to be heroines, too? As if!"

With that, Maki made a sweeping and dramatic entrance.

"Hello, ladies! It is I. I have arrived! Fear not! "It is I - Maki the …" Nico caught up to her and clamped a hand over Maki's mouth, and continued in a dull monotone. "Idol Maki, Monster Slayer." Maki looked miffed, then pushed past Nico and swiftly continued her dramatic, graceful and beautiful entrance.

Unfortunately, she entered onto a patch of idol-eater slime. She slipped into an awkward, inadvertent backflip, landing on her butt on top of the grand piano, then slid through the buffet and ended up with a splash! in the indoor koi pond.

When Maki emerged from the pond, her skintight cutoff might as well not have been there, it showed every centimeter of her lovely breasts, especially her chilled nipples. Moreover, it had ridden up so high the lower half of her front was completely exposed. Her shorts were similarly see-through and skin-tight, her hair was damp and full of seaweed. She looked like an ecchi mermaid.

"Ni-Nico-chaaaaaan!" she moaned.

Hearing a sudden "Urk!" all eyes turned to the idol-eater, which had been heretofore watching Maki in fascinated horror just like all its prey. But this re-emergence had been too much for the beast.

"Ha! Fu fu fu fu fufu. Ah ha ha ha ha hahahahhaa! …. URK!"

Yes, this thing-that-only-eats-school-idols, too, had perished from laughter, just like its cousin had the previous week in an alley where Maki was the only one present. A-RISE had mocked her relentlessly for claiming to have saved them, then. It might salvage a little of Maki's pride to think that now, no one could do that, this time.

Nico would have been fuming at the lack of respect, but she knew how fragile her girlfriend could be. She swept Maki up in her little arms again, and once again stormed out, not about to stop for anything until they got to their apartment and Nico could soothe Maki with a hot bath, hot chocolate, and hot cookies. And later, hot nobody-else's-business after Maki had recovered a little.

Tsubasa was in no mood for mockery either. She had been completely blocked, and Maki was farther out of her reach than ever. Anju and Erena were no slouches - they realized how fragile Tsubasa's ego could be, and resolved on a program of soothing her not all that far removed from Nico's.

The rest of the idols at the party never even noticed A-RISE leaving upstairs. It was the most exciting event any of them could remember. The thrill and danger brought them together, and many yuri couples were created before they started trooping out at around two in the morning. Fortunately, Maki had only wiped out half the buffet, and idols have to watch their weight, anyway. And none of the champagne had spilled.

Maki and Nico ended up wearing each other out. Was Nico a bad girlfriend for thinking that wiping away Maki's tears was amazingly hot? No, impossible, because Nico-nii was never a bad anything. So she simply enjoyed the moment. A little after turning in, she heard Maki muttering in her sleep. "For great justice!" she heard, and she saw Maki thrust one perfect hand up in a fist. But then: "I can't do it without you, Nico-chan. Please, never leave me!"

What was that old saying? Behind every hot mess, there's a street-wise savvy sidekick? Something like that. Nico wiped away Maki's new tears, kissed her forehead, and cuddled her to her breast. "Like I would trust you on your own, baka!" she whispered. And whatever Maki had that caused her to tear up seemed to be catching.

AN:

*"On the advice of Nozomi"