I've read numerous stories on here involving an OC or self-insert who shows up in Westeros and magically manages to fix everything. Or a trueborn son of Robert and Cersei who possesses no prejudice, is skilled at everything, and all that's necessary is to kill a couple or corrupt people (often Varys and Littlefinger) for things to run smoothly. But that isn't this story, as I said from the beginning. Matthew's not infallible, nor is his knowledge of weapons encyclopedic.
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"I wonder if I'm ever going to see you again," Tyrion remarked as Matthew prepared his journey.
"I don't expect you'd miss me very much," Matthew shrugged. He still feared a possible trap and would have rather begun the initial dialogue through messengers. However, measured against that was the possibility of winning over Stannis Baratheon and perhaps the Storm Lords as well.
"I'm a little too busy marveling at how you've managed to accomplish this," Tyrion admitted. He lowered his face and added: "Stannis is known for his own sort of honor, but don't overlook the possibility of him betraying you."
"Not the first risk I've taken to keep the Iron Throne." Matthew placed his mail shirt over the gambeson. "That he's willing to meet me at all is quite a step. I think he's figuring out nobody wants him as King. And Tywin's got to bring at least some of his bannermen along, else he loses his alliance with Braavos." Matthew had made sure the agreement was with him alone for that very reason.
"If you bring Stannis to you, I will start believing in miracles again." Tyrion took another gulp of his drink. Unknown to Matthew, Tyrion had read the letters before they reached Matthew's eyes.
"Do try not to destroy the city while I'm gone," Matthew requested. It never ceased to amaze him how Lannister family disfunction was no less a foe than Robb Stark.
"Before you leave, nephew, I do have a request of you." Tyrion came to his central point. "Your mother has chosen to hold Shae hostage and threatens to kill her if I do not obey her every command. I'm already subverting her of course but this would be far easier if you ordered her to release Shae."
"Can't you deal with your bullshit yourselves?" Matthew griped while looking around at his chambers for what could be the final time. The trip to Duskendale would take at least a couple of weeks. He considered sending letters, but such messages would be intercepted. So many things could go wrong even if Stannis was sincere. "Between trying to fight a war, turning Westeros into less of a shithole, watching for knives in the dark, I don't have the energy or interest to deal with your family quarrels!"
"Interesting way of showing gratitude. You wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for me!" Tyrion crossed his arms.
I swear to God. . . "I will intervene when I return. Right now, there are more pressing matters to attend to." Matthew doubted Cersei would be so cooperative after his departure. Shae would be killed and Tyrion would be out for revenge. "Daenerys has sacked Astapor and Robb is still a considerable threat."
"I understand why this might not be a priority for you." Tyrion gulped down his entire goblet in moments before pouring himself another drink. "And she is just a whore to you. But. . . when I drink, I have a loose tongue. If I drink too much, I might just start letting things slip. . . say, about who you really are."
"You dare threaten me?" Matthew took a step toward Tyrion. "You can't trust that Imp; I told you!"
"Who says I'm threatening anyone, nephew?" Tyrion's tone became light. "I'm merely pointing out that those who get drunk have a tendency to say too much. So long as Shae is in my sister's tender grip, I drink to relax myself. If, however, the problem is solved by freeing her. . ."
He's serious, all right. "You can try, but the only thing you're likely to accomplish is getting yourself killed," Matthew challenged. "Cersei and Tywin both despise you and I don't think either would appreciate your efforts at dividing us. Tywin has a certain thing about whores, doesn't he?"
"I'm quite persuasive and my father is close to figuring it out of his own accord. I happen to think the price of my silence is quite reasonable." Tyrion stretched his legs on the table. "You could be right. I might not be believed and end up making my position worse. But do you want to take the chance of being wrong?"
For the first time, Matthew thought Joffrey had a point. I revealed far too much to Tyrion. He'd been completely on his own and Tyrion figured out the truth, Matthew possessed someone to talk to. He attempted to hold back as much as he could, but Tyrion had a way of wheedling information out of others.
If he ordered Cersei to release Shae, the woman would end up dead and Tyrion would end up being more vengeful. If he refused, same result. "I don't appreciate being blackmailed, Imp." Matthew wouldn't need anyone's help to subdue Tyrion and his attempts at showing mercy had repeatedly backfired on him. "You've just threatened a King. I'd be justified in killing you where you stand."
"Oh, you'd miss the pleasure of my company too much," Tyrion mocked. "And I've done a lot for you. I'm not asking for much in return."
"Perhaps you should do the smart thing and wait until I return. Shae's safe, so play along. Obey my orders and I'll pretend I didn't hear any of this. No need for Cersei to learn about what just transpired. Not smart to alienate the only ally you possessed." Not anymore.
"I'll hold you to that," Tyrion warned. "If not, we'll see how my father reacts to his grandson being an imposter. Assuming he doesn't know the truth already."
"And do keep in mind that for all her claims of undying love toward you, Shae's job is to lie to men. Perhaps you shouldn't take her claims at face value." Tyrion snarled and moved forward, with Matthew getting into a defensive position.
"Thank you for your words of wisdom." Tyrion's voice turned to ice.
"If we have to have this conversation again, it's going to end with you spending the remainder of your days at Castle Black." Matthew couldn't believe his foolishness in considering Tyrion a useful ally. "No doubt your father will be pleased to be rid of you."
No doubt this is another act of mercy that's going to bite me in the ass. It seemed Westeros enjoyed punishing kindness in the cruelest way possible. Perhaps it would have been better to behave as a more restrained version of the canon Joffrey.
At times, Matthew was tempted to give into his darkest impulses and release his full wrath on anyone who so much as argued with him. Now I'm channeling my inner Joffrey.
He looked over at Margaery and Loras, the siblings rarely spending time apart. "Come to wish me luck, My Lady?" He gave Margaery his most charming smile.
"And to implore you to be careful," Margaery added. "Stannis bears no love for you and after the lies he's spread. . ." Margaery gave him a look that indicated she knew of Joffrey's true parentage.
"I thank you for your concern, My Lady." Matthew held her hand. "Once I return, I would like to speak with you in private regarding certain conversations we've had before. I trust this is not a breach of hospitality."
"Of course not, Your Grace." Margaery gave a sweet smile. "The city can get lonely at times and I'd appreciate the company."
"Then I hope to return quickly." Matthew marched out the Red Keep. Let her make of that what she wants. He intended to assemble as many people as he could without looking like an invasion force. Matthew didn't think the Starks had spies in the Capital, but the Tyrells did. A discreet message to Robb Stark. . . Cersei would spark another bloodbath.
On the Kingsroad, the trip would take a little over two weeks. Negotiations at Duskendale would hopefully be short, as this was the first time Matthew had ventured from King's Landing.
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"Expected Duskendale to be a little more impressive," Matthew looked over the city. It was secure enough, at least for a minor force like his. However, the walls were perhaps half as thick as the ones surrounding King's Landing. At a distance of a mile, he could not make out any single individual, but the stench was far less than he grew used to in the Capital.
House Rykker had stayed out of the war, not declaring fealty until the Battle of the Blackwater. Duskendale had perhaps 15,000 people, a city by Westerosi standards, but to Matthew, it barely qualified as a town.
"Do you truly mean to go inside the city?" Barristan asked.
"No, I'm not going to enter a city I know nothing about," Matthew denied. He turned to one of his subordinates and ordered. "Write Stannis a message that says we have arrived, though I have no doubt he already knows. Tell him that a symbol of trust is required. To ensure my safety, Davos Seaworth will stay with us until negotiations conclude."
"Your Grace, the man is a commoner," Dontos Hollard mentioned.
"He is also Hand of the King, meaning Stannis holds him in high esteem. Obey my orders." Dontos scribbled a letter and handed it to a Raven, the distance obtainable in just a few minutes for the bird.
"Your brilliance and strength have brought Stannis to heal." Harys Swyft looked ready to bow then and there. Matthew ignored him, as he was informed the man kissed the ass of anyone above him. His incompetence was such that Tywin sent him on what he considered a fool's mission.
Alongside Matthew were 300 of his most skilled troops and 200 Lannister Bannermen. He did not trust Stannis far enough to go alone and while Robb's forces were last known to be at Harrenhal, he'd do just about anything to have a chance of killing him.
"In the latrine!" Matthew demanded at a peasant ready to defecate where he stood. He wasn't about to allow typhus or whatever the Westeros equivalent was to spread through his ranks. Each time they stopped, he ordered a latrine to be dug, wishing to avoid the spread of disease. At least to the degree he could.
He considered it a small miracle he hadn't come down with something already. Matthew bathed often and cleaned his hands several times a day but knew it would happen sooner or later. His troops looked confused at such orders but as none were currently ill, Matthew's orders had proven their worth.
An hour later, a letter arrived from Stannis and his immediate circle residing in Duskendale. Matthew skimmed through it, happy to see the man agreed to his terms. Perhaps he's serious after all. Maybe I should have demanded Melisandre. . . but she'd be more likely to kill me than the other way around. He doubted his technology would do anything against shadow babies.
It was another half hour before Davos arrived, having no escorts. "Lord Seaworth, good to see you here at last."
"Few refer to me as Lord Seaworth, My Lord," Davos greeted, the pouch containing his severed fingers hung around his neck. His loyalty to Stannis never ceased to amaze Matthew.
"It's rare to see a commoner rise so high," Matthew complimented. "Stannis must think highly of you."
"He is waiting for you inside," Davos mentioned. "King Stannis also wanted me to inform you that only you and the Kingsguard will be allowed."
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. It was a risk, but if it paid off, he'd have a new and skilled ally. Matthew ordered them to accompany him, knowing he could be marching to his death. Breaking hospitality was serious business in Westeros, but parlays ending in bloodshed was not unheard of.
His horse stumbled on a loose brick. "Damn it!" Matthew held onto the reins tight, nearly being thrown from his horse. The Kingsroad and similar roads were in disrepair and from what he had been told, they had been neglected since Robert assumed the throne. "Couldn't my father have at least spent all that money on maintaining the roads instead of tourneys?"
Once the gates were opened, Matthew attracted the undivided attention of those in Duskendale. His gaze turned to steel. Matthew refused to give the impression of a man who could be easily pushed around. His own men were at least equal in number to the guards he spotted, some of whom wore Baratheon colors.
The Queen's Men led him through the main castle where Stannis was residing. "You will meet with Stannis alone," his wife Selyse demanded of him. "Only me and the Lady Melisandre will be there." She spoke Melisandre's name in a worshipful tone.
Despite himself, Matthew nearly sniggered. The woman's mustache was almost more prominent than his in his proper body. "Very well, but I do not advise attempting any traps." If it was one, he'd take Stannis with him.
Inside the plain room, Stannis and Melisandre stood in the center. Stannis wore his usual grim expression while Melisandre was impossible to read. "It is good to see you at last, though I do not know your proper name." She stood almost a head taller than Matthew.
"Good to see you at last, Stannis." Matthew wasn't sure what the proper protocol was. He gave the room a careful scan, wary of any sudden ambushes. Without his Kingsguard, Matthew was hideously vulnerable. "Nice to know you were willing to meet with me in person."
"You are not Joffrey Lannister," were the first words out of Stannis' mouth. "Who you are, I do not know, but I do know Joffrey and you are not him, even if you wear his skin. I doubted Melisandre's words at first, but seeing you stand before me, she tells it true. What is your name?! Your real name."
"Matthew," He decided it wasn't worth hiding with just the three of them. "And how did you know that?"
"Your stance, your walk does not belong to Joffrey. How did you come to this place? What are you after? More importantly, how have you replaced the Lannister abomination?"
"Joffrey's still stuck in my head," Matthew admitted. He'd grown to just ignore him, finding it a more vicious punishment than the insults. "As for everything else, I cannot answer that any more than you can. When I woke up, I was at Ned Stark's sentencing."
"The man learned the truth after I did. Stark was my brother's closest friend, whom he loved much more than I. Robert would have accepted the truth when he did not with me. You know much about me, yet I know little about you. How have you learned this? If you wish any chance for an alliance between us, I will not tolerate falsehoods."
"The Lord of Light brought him here for a purpose," Melisandre chimed in. "He is not of this world. I have seen his home in the flames."
"So you say, and I know he is not Joffrey," Stannis turned to Melisandre. "That does not make him trustworthy. Stark died in his captivity and while Baelish was a man who deserved to die, I cannot help but ask questions."
"I didn't put enough guards on him and underestimated Littlefinger. Ask me whatever you wish and if I know the question, I will answer. Do keep in mind that much of this may sound fantastic to you."
"Where do you come from?"
"It would sound too fantastic to believe. At times, I feel this is nothing but a dream, or perhaps I'm trapped in a coma."
"You understand how this must sound, I hope. It would be easier to believe you are a Faceless Man than from another world."
"I can hardly believe it myself, but here I am. I do not know why I am here and if I could, I would return in a moment, this whole continent be damned!" Matthew knew he shouldn't have expressed such anger, but the chains of commanding were heavy on him. Joffrey was in his head, he had to fight a war, his attempts at changing society were making minimal progress, and Matthew missed his girlfriend and sister.
"You would leave us to ourselves when you could accomplish much? Are all your people so neglectful of their duties?"
"So you do believe me?" Matthew allowed himself an inward smile.
"I believe you speak the truth about not being Joffrey and your attitudes are unlike any I have ever encountered. But from another world. . ." Stannis turned to Melisandre.
"Through the Lord of Light, all things are possible." Melisandre spoke. "He operates in ways we cannot begin to comprehend."
"Yeah, well, I still don't believe in any deity," Matthew became less certain of that, though. Of course, it was as good an explanation as any for how he ended up in Westeros.
"He believes in you, Matthew, and in time, you will see the light." Melisandre stared into his eyes. "When you arrived, I felt something change, something that altered the balance."
"I know how crazy this has to sound to both of you." Melisandre looked believing but Stannis frowned with doubt. Not that Matthew could blame him. I wouldn't believe a word of it if our positions were reversed.
"It would be easy to say such things are folly. Yet with the threat beyond the Wall and who stands before me now, it is a possibility I cannot dismiss. A Faceless Man would be easier to believe, but I know the reports of new weapons. Ones far beyond anything seen on this continent. If not for those. . ."
"So about becoming Hand of the King. . ."
"I should have been named Hand once Jon Arryn died, but Robert always considered Ned Stark his true brother. Now by law, I am the rightful King. Bend the knee and this alliance you speak of can be solidified."
"You seem to misunderstand your position," Matthew reminded. "I want you as an ally for your intelligence and strategic capability, but you're no threat to me." At least not until he'd put himself in Melisandre's grip, at any rate.
"What battles have you won that I should fear you? You speak about the good of the Realm, but refuse to follow through."
"Same could be said of you. Nobody wants you as King. You're a skilled number two, a man who can run the realm, but you have no charisma, Stannis. A trait your brothers have that you do not."
"I didn't agree to this meeting to suffer insults!" Stannis raised his voice.
"I'm not about to hold the truth back, however unpleasant you find it. How many Lords have flocked to your banner? Even the Storm Lords have little interest in seeing you King. I have more of them on my side than you despite the letters you sent proclaiming Joffrey a bastard born of incest."
"If you refuse to submit, then I will be forced to have you executed. Declare me the one true King and I will spare your life and that of. . . well, the Lannisters."
"I won a battle with green troops when outnumbered eight to one. I'm offering you the very thing you want, but you're too damned stubborn to give up a hopeless pursuit for a throne you barely want!"
"Want does not enter it."
"Yeah, yeah, it's your Throne by right." Matthew cut Stannis off before he could recite it again. "You want to fight corruption and put the Seven Kingdoms back in order and I'm giving you an opportunity to do it."
"You ask me to submit to the likes of Tywin Lannister. If it was you alone, perhaps I could do so, but the rest of the Lannister family. . ."
"Then perhaps I'll point out a bit of wisdom: we will either hang together or most assuredly, we will all hang separately. If the great enemy marched upon us now, we'd all be dead!"
"For all your claims of caring about the realm, you are growing to love power. You have my word of honor no harm will come to either you or your family when I sit the Iron Throne." He handed Matthew a loaf of bread, which he slowly consumed. The bread was almost hard enough to break his teeth, but Matthew understood what the message was.
"It'd be nice to make all of this someone else's problem, wouldn't it?" Matthew expressed a dark laugh. "I'm out of my depth when it comes to politics! Just about everything I've done so far has made things worse for me! Yet. . . it's my burden to bear and I must be the one to carry it. I didn't choose these circumstances. All I can do is my job, which is why I began speaking with you to begin with."
Stannis waited several minutes before responding. "Whatever doubt I had about Joffrey lurking inside ended with those words. He would never have treated the Iron Throne as a burden, only as a way to do whatever he wished."
"My decisions affect millions of people. Best to take it seriously. The longer we quarrel, the stronger our enemy becomes."
"He speaks the truth," Melisandre interjected. "Bend the knee to the Lord's chosen and you will serve the Lord of Light's will. We have little time and the great enemy laughs at us slaughtering each other."
"And I'm one of the only people who knows the truth," Matthew pushed. He was beginning to think this was a hopeless struggle. "This job would be far easier if I didn't have to crush everyone else before preparing for the true threat! I wouldn't be doing my duty if I handed the throne away, however tempting it is."
"I wouldn't be doing my duty if I allowed an abomination to sit the Iron Throne," Stannis declared. "You may not have chosen this, but you still reside in Joffrey's flesh."
"Have I at least earned enough trust for my men to be allowed inside your walls? I'm still hostage, as Davos is mine."
Stannis gave a reluctant nod. "Very well, but see to it they cause no trouble."
"We seem to be at an impasse." Matthew spoke upon making sure his men were inside the walls. "Are you so eager to run to your own destruction? You may not wish to work alongside Lannisters, but all of us must play our part if we are to survive the twin threats."
Matthew could see Stannis waver ever-so-slightly. "Robert allowed the Lannisters far too much influence in his court and you ask me to submit to them now?"
"Not to them. To me." Perhaps Stannis bending the knee to him instead of the Lannisters would make the blow easier.
"By your own admission, Joffrey is still in your head. What happens if he regains control?"
"My willpower is far superior to his. I didn't even hear his voice for months."
"That does nothing to ease my concerns. Can you promise me he will not gain control?"
"I'm not about to allow Joffrey to destroy everything I've tried to build. It's likely I'll never be able to return home, however much I wish otherwise. You might be Azor Azai, but I don't think there's anything requiring him to be King."
"If only your points were so easy to dismiss. I was ready to end negotiations immediately, but much of what you say is sensible. However, leaving the Realm to Lannister tyranny will ensure our destruction."
"I'm no Lannister. Tywin's about 60 years old, so he's not likely to live much longer. If your Lord of Light is real. . . then perhaps it's his will that this alliance occurs." Matthew considered it to be nonsense but hoped it would at least sway Melisandre. "There are two threats, in fact, that may destroy Westeros. We have the Others but also Daenerys Targaryen. She has already sacked Astapor and her dragons are small. Once fully grown, they will kill millions." Including King's Landing.
Melisandre moved toward the flames and stuck her hand inside them. Revealing no pain, she spoke: "The Dragon Queen is difficult to read. She has great potential. . . but whether for prosperity or ruin I cannot say."
"The fact I'm standing before you now means things are in motion, Stannis." Matthew pushed. "You cannot shut your eyes forever." This is Stannis Baratheon; of course he can!
Before Stannis could respond, the door swung open and revealed a terrified squire. "Your Grace. . ." He appeared uncertain whether to call Matthew or Stannis by that title, "The Northmen are marching on us!"
"How was this not detected before?" Stannis demanded.
"They must have found a path we were unaware of. At least 3,000 Northmen and their allies will be here in hours." Matthew and Stannis exchanged glances, each thinking the same thing. Oh, shit.