Shouto's bedroom door flew open. Katsuki jumped and dropped his book to see his boyfriend's face covered in sweat and bright red.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

"I fucked up. I fucked up badly. I couldn't help myself-

Katsuki shrugged, he had no idea what he was talking about.

"I kissed Izuku- I got caught up in it and I didn't mean too-

"Wait what?! How the fuck is that fair-

"He said some stuff and we were playing tag... I just- I'm sorry!"

"We were going to ask him out together! Not make out with him!"

"I'm sorry! We need to fix this because he's worried about hurting you-

Katsuki jumped up and ran out of the room. He went for Izuku's bedroom door. He pounded on the boy's door but no one answered. He turned around to see Izuku standing there. He looked like he had been crying and he looked ashamed seeing the blonde.

"Wait Deku-

Izuku took off towards Hitoshi's room and ran in. He always had a habit of leaving it unlocked even when he was going to be gone for days. Katsuki sighed angrily, rubbing his temples before heading back for his boyfriend's room. Hopefully he could fix this before things got any worse.

X

X

Katsuki had done his best to wait around in a way to get Deku and talk to him but somehow he managed to escape to his room without the blonde seeing. Shouto felt bad and he tried everything he could to apologize but it just wasn't working. He tried to invite him for dinner but he wouldn't answer to that either. It seemed their fun hanging together was cut short thanks to the passionate kiss in the woods.

It was late Thursday night already and Izuku couldn't sleep. He flipped through the channels trying to find something to watch. He was exhausted but his mind was going a million miles an hour. There was so much to think about and luckily no one asked him about his father yet.

It was only a matter of time though.

He only felt comfortable talking about him to Hitoshi but he didn't say a lot yet. He leaned back and sighed softly. He closed his eyes and he heard the show end and go to the next one. Izuku barely noticed that someone was sitting beside of him. He sighed again and leaned his head to the side when it touched something.

The boy jumped almost falling off the couch to see Shouto sitting there. Izuku jumped up quickly.

"Midoriya! I'm sorry-

Izuku ran off to his room and slammed the door. Izuku was really upset but for all different reasons that Shouto probably had thought. He was upset because he had been wanting Katsuki to kiss him. He was upset because he liked Shouto kissing him. The way it felt wasn't wrong... it just felt so right. That's what was wrong.

I just have to get through tonight and All Might will get me in the morning.

X

X

"Toshi!"

Izuku hugged the skinny man tight. It was a big relief to see him after everything that had happened lately. He hadn't even greeted Shinsou when he returned. Everything only made his head spin more and he just wanted time to relax until he got back.

The two of them walked to the car and the ride home was silent. All Might smiled the whole way but Izuku's mind was plagued by the steamy kiss and he wasn't going to be forgetting very soon.

The strangest thing was both boys had tried getting so close to him. Both were trying to cross lines but like they had been hesitating but then Shouto took it upon himself to show Izuku what he really wanted. Was it possible they've both been trying to cheat on each other and Shouto was the first one to try...

"Are you ok?"

"Huh? Oh... I don't know."

"Did something happen?"

"Well... There's two guys that like me..."

All Might parked in the driveway.

"What's wrong with that?"

Izuku shifted in his seat.

"Are you not out yet?"

"I like both but...It's just that... It seems like a contest? I really don't know how to feel about it."

"Is it Shinsou?"

Izuku's face turned bright red.

"No!"

The man laughed and got out of the car. The two of them went into the house.

"That's kind of surprising. The two of you get together all the time."

"That's only friendship. I'm glad to be home! I need a break from all of that!"

"I'm glad you're home too. It's been very lonely! Shouta isn't exactly the type of person you call over to hang out with unless it's about cats."

Izuku laughed.

"Want to watch a movie and eat some popcorn?" Toshi asked.

"Sure!"

X

X

Bakugou did his best to stay up. He was exhausted from trying to corner Deku but he had a feeling there might be a clue to the fact the boy was avoiding them. He pulled out a bobby pin and unlocked Midoriya's door with minimal effort. The door unlatched and he went inside making sure no one was around him.

The blonde started searching the room trying his best to find clues but most of the stuff he had was All Might merchandise that he was a little jealous of. Nothing stuck out until he said the red book poking out from underneath Deku's mattress. He grinned and tip toed over and grabbed it. It looked like it was worn from use like he wrote in it a lot.

He flipped to the newest pages written on.

Holy shit! I gotta get Icyhot!

Katsuki rushed out the room as quietly as he could. He threw open his bedroom door and pulled Shouto out of his bed. The boy rubbed his eyes and couldn't even function right to walk but Katsuki dragged him down the hallway anyways. Once they were inside Izuku's room, he locked the door and pulled out his phone.

He shined the flashlight on the red book.

"You have to read this," he whispered.

"What it is?" Shouto asked softly.

"I think it's his diary or something like that!"

"We can't do that-

"The last three pages were about you."

Shouto looked down as Katsuki opened it up.

So, apparently the weird thoughts I had about Katsuki trying to hit on me were probably right. The way he looked at me. Those red eyes burning into me but Shouto...

Shouto Todoroki was something else. His eyes were so soft and gentle. There was something else to him than the way he kissed me. He kind of looked sad earlier than that but now... OMG!

His tongue was hot and cold! I guess it shouldn't be surprised but I can't look at him without thinking about the way he pinned me to the tree. When he gets close to me I can't help but think about him.

Why does things have to be this way? All I wanted was for him to keep going. I wished he had- I wished I shut my mouth and let him do what he wanted because I wanted so much more than that.

The sad reality is I can't because he belongs to Katsuki. I couldn't have him either because he belongs to Shouto.

I like being around them but I can't have either one. I just need to stay away and keep my mind clear. I'm here to be a hero, not to get mixed into a love triangle that would rip people apart. I want to save people- not hurt them.

I'll just keep to myself for the time being and hang out with Hitoshi. At least I have the weekend with All Might. It sucks because I miss Mom and Dad but at least All Might is there.

Just tonight and I can escape away. I know Shouto tried to apologize but I just need time to deal before I physically throw myself at him.

"Wow... I had no idea I was that good of a kisser..."

"You're kidding me right? I get hard just thinking about kissing you."

Shouto gave his boyfriend a cocky smirk.

"Think we should go to the beginning?" the blonde asked.

"I don't know."

"I want to know why he's here though. The way everything has happened with him... It's weird. Aren't you fucking curious?"

"I am but isn't that his business unless he tells me or you?"

Katsuki stared at him waiting for an answer.

"I... well..."

"That's a hell yes!"

Shouto held his phone for light as Katsuki flipped to the front page and the two of them started reading.

All Might gave this to me... I guess I should be ok but I'm not. I'm broken. I'm hurt. I'm surprised I didn't piss myself. It tortures me. It tortures me whenever I close my eyes. Whenever I look out the window... it haunts me.

I open my eyes. I try to focus on All Might as much as I can, trying to ignore the feeling I have but all I feel is dread. Dread fills my soul. I'm so angry that it has affected me so much I can barely function.

I cannot forget Stain's face. I can't forget the way he stabbed my mother and the sound of blood gurgling from her throat as she died. The light was gone from her eyes even though it was dark... I saw it all I saw the way she looked laying there.

I can't forget the smell of blood. It was almost like I could smell my own fear as I sat there frozen. I couldn't move as my own father stare me in the eyes begging me to go- to save myself. I wish I would've ran but I couldn't.

I sat there covered in their blood. The smell was horrible. The smell of death.

I couldn't force myself to get up or to even attempt to save him. I wanted to be a hero like Dad. All he wanted to do was save the guy he thought was calling him for help.

I just wanted... I just wanted to send time with Mom and Dad! We were out having fun! He just got back! How was it fair?!

How was it fair-

Stain cut my father's heart out of his chest and pulled it out while it was practically still beating. I don't remember the sounds other than my own heart beating in my ears. Blood spilled everywhere and it smelled so bad.

It made me sick... The taste of vomit was so sore.

He dropped my father's heart onto the ground and it had finally stopped beating. He stomped on it, throwing chunks of heart everywhere. I know I screamed. I knew I was going to die. I knew it-

but it never came.

All Might had showed up to stop him. I don't even remember anything. I know I was covered in blood, vomit- but everything went black after that.

Dad was secretive hero because of the stuff that happened before. He wasn't for fame or money... he just wanted us to be happy. How was it fair when there are worse people than him?

He just wanted to be careful.

I wished Stain had just killed me. I wouldn't have to live like this. Live like this feeling guilty.

He should've killed me. Instead, I'm writing this. I just hope I can sleep.

Katsuki and Shouto sat there on Izuku's floor stunned. They had expected a bunch of juvenile stuff but instead... it was heartbreaking. The very reason Izuku managed to get in was because he was saved by All Might. It was why All Might was so close to him in the first place.

Shouto wiped his eyes trying to control himself but it seemed like Katsuki had lost it. He was a hard ass but he was a big softie at heart.

This is shitty.

Katsuki wiped his face trying to stop shaking. It was horrible someone had to witness something like that. It was why he reacted so badly to seeing Heatwave. It made sense why he pushed himself so hard. He was simply trying to forget.

They closed the book, wondering if the rest of that journal was filled with the torment he had went through and possible nightmares he had to try and ignore. They didn't want to know right know as they replaced the book back in it's place and returned to Bakugou's room. They crawled into bed together and held each other since they were no longer felt the need to sleep.

I hope everyone had some great food and presents! Sorry for the slower than normal updates. Still trying to get back into the swing of things! Both me and Raimundo have been busy but once everything settles down, we'll be back on it! I want to say I'm surprised by how popular this had gotten! Even as dark as it's been/going to be to be!

See you at the next update! Happy new year!