It turned out Thoren or whatever him name is went OH EM GEE because he saw... SAURON THE NERCOMANCER! Sauren raised ppl from th ded cos thats what necromanters do.

"oh em totes gee," I sed to solomon, "What are you doing here? You don't even go here." Then I remembered I was a cowerd and fanted again

When I woked up i cud hear voices. I heard sureman talking to totally the dwarves. "Why are you totes here"

"I want to confess my totally secret luv to... GDANALF!" saed surn.

Sudden Gandalf came in.

"my luv," said sue

"No go away i hate you youre like totes evil and stuff," said totally gandalf. "You're expelled"

"you carnt exple me i dont go here. besides im like 1000 thats too old for sckewl"

"oh well youre still expelled get out.

snero ran away CRYIN.

"omg now i feel bad," said gandlef.

"Well never mind that who cares about him hes just a lame loser nercomonter, we need to go to my house which got taken over by smeg the dragon."

I remembered that we were toally supposed to be fitin smawg the drgen. "He tooked over your house?" I gapsed like :O

"Yes, we have to save him. Im going on a quets now and i pick fili, killy, face, some other dwares and... bimbo baggins!"

"yay me," i sed because he said my name which was bilby bagends

we stole some pornies from the stbales where they totally live and we rode off into the mountain. In the mountaon wos another high skool... Goblin high. It was full of goblens and the most popular one was called the Goblin Chief. Him said

"hah you loser you whear last year fashion"

"no one calls thorin a bad fashion!" angried throen and PNUCH goelbin chief in the face. him even uglier now.

the goblin ran away cryinf and all his friends went to say "omg what a jerk is that dwarf we will have renvenge"

but they didnt get revenge because we snuck off when they werent lukin. The problem wos... we ran into the basketball cort where the totally warg basketball team was practincin. They were wolves so not very good at basketball but they thort they were

they bark at us cos wolves cant speak. uh oh they were about to EAT us. but suddenly...

"haha u guys suck at barsketbol, the eagle team way better!" said an eegle

"wtf," said the wolf, he had learn how to speak becos so affronted by that totes uncalled for comment. I dident care that he was upset tho he deserved t be. he ran away n cried

"thanks for getting rid of those totes evil woofs," I said to the eagle. "Hey can you give us a lift?"

"Sure said the eegle, my car is just over here." His car was a pretty bad one from like the 80s but we didnt say anything because he was being nice and giving us a lift.

some dwarves had to sit on teh roof which sucked for them but idgaf because i was a hobbit so i could fit in the glovebox. Anyway we arrived at Beorn house he was having a totes party

Beorn was a bear but it wos okay because if im frends with dwarves i might as well be friends with bears and stuff.

"Rawr XD" said beron he was an emo bear/ well not emo but like a scene kid. I guess the year is like the 1940s or something, which was when Avril LAvigne was popler. I fink so anyway, im not very good at histery. I remembered my history class with a horse named Shadowfacts as the teacher

"okay bible baggins what year did logales the famous elf born in?"

"umm 2006?"

the whole class laughed. "omg bilbo ur so dumb it's not even 2006 yet."

i shook the memory from my head which had hair on it. Instead I focused on Beorn do the bear dance. He did a silly dance like a bear at a circus. i dont approve of cicurces by the way

Him totes bf was there, he wos a wulf but not like an evil one like in the mountain. Sudden Born bf take off him wolf outfit... it just an outfit! Everyone gapsed.

"oh my dog how could you betray me like this?" beorn said but he didnt run off crying because he wos brave and stoic

"Bnorn we need help," said ganflad who had driven there in his wizard car.

"wtf gandlaf youre so insenstivive"

"We need to go in the foest will you lend us some ponies ours got eaten"

"okay," said beorn. Then he went back to dancing and played beethoven or something on the radio, which was the party beat in that year. Then totally Snoop dogg came on the radio.

but the party got crashed by... SMAUG THE DRAGON!1!111!