An Unwanted Wish (Yen)

There was blood and sweat in the freezing air as well as the distinctive scent of the potions and oils he had used to prepare for the fight that had just finished and finally, hidden behind of this group of scents there was a trace of lilac and gooseberries, a scent that, not one minute before it was intoxicating, a scent that, not one minute ago, it was his sole reason to live and that now, it was just that. A smell, a scent. A nice smell at that, but just that, a smell. It had worked, her wish was fulfilled. He now looked at her and didn't see that unworldly, heavenly creature that he wanted for himself whatever the risk he had to take or price he had to pay. Now, it was just a woman, a beautiful woman at that, but just that, a woman. He sighed and looked away, slowly and tiredly walking to the broken bow of the ship, where he could sit and rest for a moment and mainly, think. She soon sat herself with him, looking at the view just like him.

There was silence at first but she soon talked. "So… That was something." Silence for his part. "I was honestly expecting more of it." She spoke no more after that, he could sense her eyes on him as well as her wish for his voice, for him to speak. And so he did, not that he wanted to, but he did anyway.

"What did you expect?"

She sighed, clearly in relief as a nervous chuckle escaped her mouth. She was nervous, and here he thought that was impossible.

"I don't know, at least a little bit of vertigo. But not even that." She said before a taking a deep breath. "I was afraid to look at you and, I don't know, see you differently, see a stranger. But no… you're still the same person, I still feel the same things for you… y-you?"

He sighed and looked at her face, he didn't want to but he did nonetheless, it wouldn't be fair if he didn't. "We can't do this, Yen. I'm sorry."

"W-what?"

"This." He explained, pointing at both of them. "This thing, this relationship, we can't continue with it. I'm sorry, but we can't."

He saw the strength she was making to prevent the tears from falling. "So… so you're saying you don't love me anymore?"

"Of course I do, Yennefer. We've been together for what? Twenty years? Maybe more. But this is not healthy, not for me, not for you. Before I couldn't live without you, but now I can, and we can't continue this."

She stood silent, maybe trying to understand, maybe trying to find an answer, maybe trying to find a way to fix that. But then, a seed of anger was planted in her face, it was almost untraceable at first, but he managed to notice. Then she spoke. "This is because of Triss, isn't it?" He stood silent, looking at her eyes as the seed of anger exploded into an enormous fire. "I knew it! That whore! I'm going to kill her!"

"You are not going to kill anyone." He calmly said.

"She fucked you! Seduced you! She fucked my man!"

"That's not the point, I…"

"How come it is not!? She fucked you, Seduced you, you fell in love with her - with her ass, to be more precice - and now that you can, you are leaving me for her! But why!? Am I not enough!?" She yelled getting up and shaking her breasts with her hands. "It's because my tits are smaller!? I can change that you know!?"

"Yen, you..."

"Maybe it's my ass!" She said, turning around and practically slamming her covered backside in his face, he had to deviate his face and stop it with his hand to prevent it. "That can be arrenged as well! Oh look!" She twisted her wrist and her butt grew rounder and bigger. "a simple illusion is enough! You see!? Look! You want a faltter ass, I can give it to you!" With another movement of hands her ass did flatten. "Or maybe it's because she will give you her body whenever you ask for, like the whore in heat she is! She's been yearning for your cock for years!"

"Look Yennefer, firstly don't insult her, please. Seconly…"

"Ha! That's a good one! She stole my man and you expect me not to, at leats, insult her!? You're actually more delusial than I thought!"

"For fuck's sake, Yennefer could you shut up for a moment and let me speak."

"There is no need. Because I already know what you will say. 'Oh Yennefer, you don't understand our love.''' She said in her high-pitched, mocking voice. "'Oh Yennefer, you are but a heartless, selfish cold bitch who wants me all for herself. Can't you see that I love her?' BULLSHIT!"

"You're acting like a teenager."

"Fuck you!" She snapped once again, held tears starting to fall and to ruin her makeup. "My man and a relationship of twenty years was just stolen by one of my best friends! You think I'll act all grown up!? All reasonable!? You're lucky I didn't throw you off the mountain already!"

He stood silent while a few sobs escaped her lungs, then he spoke, calmly as ever. "Can I speak now?" She didn't mutter a word, simply sat down looking at the view with pained eyes, so he continued. "I won't lie to you just to make you feel better. I do love Triss, I will be with her if she takes me. But that is not the reason why I'm ending with you, Yen."

Yennefer immediately scoffed, cleaning her eyes from tears -and the rest of her makeup- with her arm. "Pff, of course not. She has nothing to do with your sudden wish to dump me, I bet that is completely true."

"It is, Yen, really. The sole reason I'm doing this is because of you and me, no one else. Actually, it's not sudden, I've been thinking about this since I regained my memory completely, to have a perspective of a life without you made me think. When we were together, before Rivia, before my death. I was unhappy, always wanting you, never thinking of anyone but you and always being away from you. And when we were finally together we were always fighting amd arguing. I'm sorry Yen, but that is not healthy. Not for both of us. And now that we can, I think we should part ways."

"So you think that it will be better with Triss!?" She spat looking up at him.

"No, I know… And you know what, at least she respects me like a normal person." This time, he was a little aggressive which made the purple eyed sorceress look at him in disbelief, clearly insulted. "You always treated me like a dog… at best."

"Excuse me! When did I ever do that!? Did I ever throw a stick and say 'Go fetch Geralt!'!?"

"No, but you do still read my mind, even after I told you countless times for you to stop, that I hate that shit. You do always hide from me your plans that include me in any manner to the last moment, including this one of the djinn. And I didn't want to compare you two, but fuck it! Yeah, before you ask, she did read my mind one time. You know when it was? When I was in coma on her bed, dying. She had to read my mind to know what potion to give me for me not to die. And yeah, she did hide something for me, not one of her plans, but something she should tell me from the beginning, something that cost me my name and a rather dear friend. But you know what, she apologized. Actually, she stood the next week practically begging for forgiveness even after I said over and over that I forgave her. Have you ever apologized for something like that? No of course not! The all powerful Yennefer doesn't apologize! Much less to her stupid lapdog! Why, anyway!? He is going come back to her whatever she does to him, might as well have some fun with the animal!" He sighed and took a deep breath while she stood silent, painfully looking at the horizon and the almost setting sun. "Look Yen, I can't continue like this. We can't continue like this. But I don't want to lose you. All in all you are an important person to me. And to Ciri as well, you're her mother figure, and it wouldn't be fair to her if we simply parted ways not to see each other again." In that moment, Yennefer cleaned her tears again, looking at him in a pained look. "And Triss. Ciri sees her as a second mother, a big sister at worse. You can't be aggressive towards each other, not in front of her, not over this. Again, it wouldn't be fair to her."

"And what about me?" She finally scoffed, her aggressive, angry voice giving place to a pained other. "You think that's fair to me?"

"No." He immediately replied. "But if there is someone you love more than yourself and more than your pride, it's Ciri. And you would go to hell and beyond for her. Just like I would." She looked back to the view for a moment later turned her face back to him, her pained eyes gone, giving place to understanding ones. She nodded and he sighed, content. "Good, thanks." They both looked back at the view, silent for a few minutes.

But then she spoke and got up from her seat. "Well, this place is getting nauseating, dreadfully fast. Let's get out of here."

"Let's, we have work to do. Will you leave me at Velen, I'll grab Uma."

She simply nodded while snapping her fingers making a dark purple portal materealize in the air before them. They both entered, Geralt with a pained sigh and, when he blinked his eyes, the beautiful mountains gave place to the green pastures of Velen, the Baron's Keep not far from them.

"Thanks, see you at Kaer Morhen." And with that said he walked away a few steps soon to be stopped by her once lover.

"G-geralt… I… I love you."

Geralt looked at her up and down with an unreadable glare, she didn't know if he was happy, or disgusted, or repentant or… anything, really. It was a few seconds of silence, but to her it felt like an eternity, an eternity of pure torture. Finally, he spoke, his voice as unreadable as his eyes. "Hm." A small, almost forced, laugh escaped his lungs. "Funny. This is actually the first time you said that to me." He turned his back and started to walk to the keep, leaving her behind, lost, not knowing how to react to that comment. "See you at Kaer Morhen."

She stood there for some time, still, paralysed, her eyes set on him going away from her, but her mind set on the void, on the most pure of voids. She stood there for a moment when, without moving anything else, she snapped her fingers, another purple manifestation of the broken fabric of reality surging just behind her. She gave a small step back and the familiar embrace of magic and weirdness consumed her.