Chapter 10: Who I like
Their birthday came soon and they celebrated differently this year as Piper and Alex had asked if they could go swimming with their friends and have a pool party. Their parents soon agreed. Piper made Alex promise not to tell anyone about her seeing her father a few weeks earlier and her mother's reaction. So far they hadn't spoken about it anymore and Piper was okay with it. For now she just wanted to forget that it happened. Still she felt bad about it. Later, when Cal and she visited their grandma, she had to tell her. She still was a bit confused as she always thought that one was always supposed to tell the truth. But then her grandma told her sometimes it's better to not say anything in order not to hurt someone. That was until Cal came running into the kitchen where Piper and Celeste had milkshakes and told them panicked that he had set his room on fire.
The situation at home was still tense and Piper used her chance to stay over at the Vause's as often as she could. One day when she was there the whole family sat down and had dinner. Felix who was about four and a half now kept standing up and running around until either Diane or Louis told him to sit down and finish his dinner. After they were done Diane shortly asked Piper if she could ask her something. Louis and Felix had already disappeared into the living room and Alex stood in the doorway waiting for her to come to her room.
"Alex would it be okay if we talked alone for a minute? I'll send her up when we're done." Diane asked her daughter. Alex looked at her confused but eventually agreed.
"Are you okay, Piper? Because you seem a little tense lately and I know something is up. I would like to help you if I can." Diane asked her.
"I'm okay." Piper said quietly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell more people about everything.
"I've been a little worried recently." Diane slowly started. "I want you to know you can talk with me about everything that bothers you, okay?"
"Thank you." Piper said. She contemplated if she should tell Diane. She was friends with her mom, maybe she could talk to her about it? Help her?! "I'm not sure if I should tell anyone." she slowly started.
"Why shouldn't you?" Diane wanted to know.
"Because it's … I don't know. I think my mom wouldn't want me to talk about it." she said.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Diane went on.
"I don't know. I already talked about it with Alex and my grandma but you're friends with my mom so maybe you could talk about it with her? Help her?!" Piper said and look at Diane hopeful.
"I'll give my best to help Carol. But I can only help if she wants anyone to help her. But I promise I will do my best. Do you want to tell me about it?" Diane cautiously asked. Piper nodded.
"Well, the other day I went to the movies with a friend. Before we went I saw my dad…" Piper started nervously and went on telling Diane what she had seen. Also how she told her mom obviously knew about it. And that she thought that this is why her mom was drinking so much the last year and why she was so easily annoyed by her kids.
"Wow. That's not something a kid should see. I'm sorry you were pulled into this. And I'll talk to your mom about this. I promise. We'll work on this. And whenever you need you can come to me with everything." Diane offered shocked about what Piper had told her. She knew that Carols situation was rough and it was hard to deal with it but she had no idea about the details and felt so sorry for Piper for being pulled into this like that.
"Thank you, Diane." Piper said thankful and went over to hug Diane. She left Diane sunken in thoughts and went to find Alex in her room.
"Hey. What was this about?" Alex asked when she entered the room.
"Hey. Your mom literally notices everything. She said she was worried. She must have noticed that the last weeks were hard for me and I told her about my dad." Piper told her.
"I know. She is like a detector for hidden things. Try keeping secrets from her!" Alex chuckled. "She knows immediately something is up. It's really hard to surprise her."
"I can imagine." Piper replied, mood lighting up a little.
They kept on talking and Piper enjoyed the change of topic very much, cause it distracted her from what was going on.
The weeks went on and even Piper and her brothers were worried that their parents might divorce nothing happened. Diane had a serious talk with her friend which didn't change her mind on the divorce but made her more wary about her alcohol use and her behaviour towards her kids. After the summer break was over and everyone went back to school it was much more busy and with Alex and Piper finding new friends in their classes they tried still spending time together but somehow it got less and less. It usually worked on the weekends that they did something together every now and then they were also busy with their families on weekends. So the times they saw each other got less and less. As they had hoped Nicky went to the same school and Alex and Nicky hung out on the school yard together during breaks. Piper tried to join them but was asked by girls from her class to join them and Piper tried to split her time between her clique and her friends. Turned out that didn't work out that well. When she joined Alex and Nicky they were talking about insider stuff that she wasn't in on and she soon felt a bit left out. Which made her spend more time with her clique.
"Have you seen Jessica today? That sweatshirt is doing her no good." Brit said and the other girls giggled.
"Same as the one yesterday." Mary joined in.
Sometimes Piper thought it had been more fun to hang out with Alex and Nicky but she also often felt like she had to go her own way and not always stick with the same people. Plus even though she'd spend all her childhood with Alex they had developed quite different interests and something that she couldn't quite grasp stood between them.
"What do you think, Piper? You seem pretty consumed in thoughts." Brit noticed.
"Uhm, nothing. Jessica should get new clothes." she quickly added. She had quickly noticed how the other girls thought about what to wear and she didn't want to end up as the unpopular girl just because she wore the wrong things so she quickly adjusted.
The bell rung and they went back inside.
"Hey Alex." she greeted her as they passed in the hall.
"Hi Pipes." Alex greeted back and they went in their classrooms.
Lunch break was around soon and the school cafeteria was filled and loud. Piper said as usually with her friends and Nicky and Alex at another table.
"What are you so mopey about?" Nicky asked Alex.
"Nothing." she tried to play it down.
"That's bullshit." Nicky retorted.
"You're a pain in the ass, you know?!" Alex chuckled.
"You're welcome."
"It's Piper. Look at her. It's like she changed completely. I never thought she'd wear anything like THAT. But now she's hanging out with those idiots and I don't know." she quickly ended not knowing what to say really.
"Oh, you're jealous that she's one of the popular girls now?" Nicky laughed.
"No. I'm not jealous. I know her and she's not like them. Or at least she wasn't." Alex returned.
"You miss having her around, huh?" Nicky wondered.
"Kinda. I mean, no offense, but she's always been the one who knows me best and I thought we understood each other like no one else." Alex offered.
"None taken. That's tough. But you have me now." Nicky answered.
"Yeah." Alex replied.
The time went by and the school year progressed. Alex and Piper saw each other in school. But other than saying hi or asking if the other one was okay they didn't have much contact and even though they missed spending time with the other the was this weird new distance between them that neither of them really knew how to break.
Soon it was summer, both girls turned 13. It was the first time they didn't celebrate together but had a party each. For old times sake and because their families expected it they went to each others party but just as before they just exchanged a few words.
When the new school year started it was as the year before. Nicky and Alex hung out together and Piper stayed with her clique.
"What a long summer break. But guess what!" Brit said excitedly.
"What is it?" Sarah asked.
"Joey Snade, the like hottest guy, spend the summer at the same beach as me this summer. Turns out his family owns a beach house very close to ours." she replied waiting for the rest of the clique to cheer.
"Oh my god. That must have been amazing." Brooke replied.
"Well, duh!" Brit gave back as if that was obvious and Brooke's comment was plainly stupid.
"Well, do you see Tom Fride over there? He can't get his eyes off of Piper!" Mary pointed out.
"That's not true." Piper reacted surprised.
"It is. He's totally checking you out!" Brooke told her. And it was true. As Piper looked over she saw him looking at her and he gave her a smile when he noticed that she was looking.
After school Piper was walking towards the bus stop when Tom Fride caught up.
"Hey, Piper. Mind if I join you?" he asked.
"Uh, no. I don't mind." she answered.
"You look nice today. Always do, actually. Would you maybe want to go and see a movie with me some time?" he asked clumsily.
Piper was a little surprised. "Uh, sure." she replied.
"Great. Give me your number and I'll text you?" he asked. And Piper gave him her number.
The rest of her clique stood at the bus stop already making big eyes when they saw Piper walking towards them with Tom next to her.
"Piper?" Brit squealed excitedly.
"Calm down, Brit." Piper told her. "And before you ask, he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie."
The other girls giggled. Looked like Piper had her first date. Tom texted her pretty soon and they agreed to go to the cinema the coming saturday.
On Monday the girls asked her about every little detail but Piper didn't want to give away too much. Also because there wasn't much to be told. They had seen the movie and gone to the diner after that and talked while they had a coke.
"And are you seeing him again?" Brit asked they question everyone was keen on hearing the answer.
"I don't know. Maybe?!" Piper answered. She honestly wasn't sure. She had liked the date but wasn't sure if she liked him like that.
"You don't know?! This is Tom Fride we're talking about. Every girl in our year would love to be in your place!" Brooke told her.
Piper didn't reply to that and already went back to the classroom instead.
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Alex weeks and summer had been a bit different. The Vauses had again been to the beach over the summer and she had spend a lot of time at the beach and had to her own surprise enjoyed the view at the lifeguard close to her a lot. After being back at school she of course noticed Piper's group and the excitement about Tom Fride. Somehow it annoyed her a lot knowing that Piper went on a date with that moron. She actually couldn't understand the hype the other girls made about boys like him. Imagining any guy asking her on a date grossed her out. And actually Nicky was the only person she could talk to about things like that.
"Well, maybe that'll come some day?" Nicky wondered.
"Who knows…" Alex answered.
"But didn't you tell me about that hot lifeguard when you were on holiday this summer?" Nicky wondered.
"Yeah. True. That lifeguard was really beautiful." Alex replied.
"Well usually guys prefer handsome, but whatever." Nicky said.
"Smartass. And the lifeguard was a girl to be honest." Alex admitted.
"Well then. There is your solution. You don't want a boyfriend. You want a girlfriend. As easy as that." Nicky smiled widely. Alex was surprised by her friends pragmatism.
"As easy as that? But to be honest I always thought girls are way prettier than any guy. Does that mean I am gay? Why is this so confusing?!" Alex crossed her arms on the table and rested her head on her arms.
The next weeks Alex spend more time trying to figure out if she really was into girls which ended quickly when she first ran into Stefanie. Immediately she thought that she was one of the most beautiful girls she had seen and as days went by and after watching her a little she was sure she had to get to know her. Plus everytime she looked over to the blonde girl and saw her smile she had this weird tingly feeling in her stomach. Nicky noticed and asked her in her direct manner.
"I think I have a crush." is all Alex answered.
"On Stefanie?" Nicky smiled. "That completely confirms the theory. Welcome to the world of lesbians."
"Welcome? Since when are you part of the world?" Alex asked surprisedly but quickly added "Of lesbians I mean."
"Well it didn't take me as long as you to figure out what I want." Nicky simply stated.
"Oh. Okay. Guess this is it then." Alex said.
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At the same time Piper sat together with her clique as they discussed which boys were totally cute and who would never get close to one of them. Or better the other girls did and Piper stayed rather quiet listening to the other girls discussion.
"Piper you are awfully quiet." Sarah stated.
"It's been entertaining to hear your discussion." she shortly replied.
"Well take part in it!" Brit demanded.
"I will." she defensively answered.
"By the way, how are things with Tom going?" Brooke wanted to know.
Piper had eventually decided to go out with him again and actually found that she liked him. After a long walk in the park he had even kissed her. She hadn't told the girls yet but they were all over it now that she told them.
"Oh my. Is he your boyfriend now?" Mary asked excitedly. The rest looked at her expectantly.
"I guess." Piper said. The girls cheered.
Things changed though pretty quickly as couple weeks later Tom ended it and honestly it had taken Piper by a little surprised but she got over it pretty fast.
One day, the clique had already collected at one of the picnic tables outside, she joined them as they were whispering about something. They suddenly stopped when she arrived at the table.
"What is going on? What are you whispering about and why did you stop?" Piper asked, them hogging together like that made her suspicious.
"Oh nothing. Actually, you know Alex Vause don't you? A while back you've been hanging out with her." Brit eventually offered.
"Uh, yeah. Why?" Piper was curious why they would talk about Alex.
"Well. Brooke heard that she heard from Sean that someone saw her kissing Stefanie Paulson behind the gym building." Brit chuckled.
Piper was surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah." they were waiting for any kind of reaction from Piper who were too surprised for any kind of reply.
"What do you say?" Sarah challenged her.
"Well. I don't know. So what? Is that a big deal?" Piper asked uncertainly.
"Eh, duh?!" Brit said and looked at her strange.
"I gotta go. I'll be late and my mom will be super annoyed." Piper quickly said and left. She didn't really want to talk about something like that with the girls and she needed time to herself. She didn't really want to think about if what they had said was true. But she couldn't help herself. Then again she thought, why was it a big deal if it was true? If you like someone, does it matter if they are a girl or boy?
The next couple weeks Piper wondered if it was true but was pretty busy with her own stuff so she stopped wondering about if in fact Alex liked girls.
That was until she saw her with Stefanie in the park. They were holding hands and giggling. She quickly hid. Piper had no idea what she would say to Alex if she noticed her being there. So Alex had a girlfriend. What would be wrong with that?
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Alex had been super nervous at first but eventually collected all her courage and had asked Stefanie if they could hang out. She prepared for a rejection and was actually surprised when the older girl agreed. She actually couldn't believe that a girl like Stefanie would agree to hang out with someone like her. Things progressed but she was pretty annoyed when she heard the story going around that someone saw them kiss the other day. Well, it was true. They did. But she wasn't sure if she liked that now the whole school knew about it.
But things were great. She liked Stefanie and spending time with her was amazing but then they had quite the fight. Alex wasn't ready yet to be all out and she wasn't sure how to tell her parents. Stefanie pushed her to finally do that but Alex wanted to do that at the right time and when she was ready. About four months after they first hung out Stefanie ended it and it hurt Alex pretty bad but she knew there was nothing she could do.
Alex had seen Piper at school and noticed at some point that she had no more contact to that guy and found out that he had broken up with her. Good. Alex had never liked him. Even though she and Piper had barely any contact she still felt a connection to her which might have been the bond they made growing up together like they did. Some weeks later Alex also noticed Piper not hanging out with her usual clique anymore. She wondered what was going on, but had no idea why Piper had left her group of friends and what happened.
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"And do you see those clothes?" Brit laughed. Piper always seemed to join the group later as everyone else and they usually were gossiping about something already. Brit and Sarah had turned fourteen recently and just celebrated their birthdays. It was a couple days later and the clique was sitting at the picnic tables during lunch break.
"What clothes?" Piper asked as she sat down.
"I wonder how anyone can like her. Especially Stefanie who could have literally anyone." Sarah went on completely ignoring Piper's question.
"Are you talking about Alex?" Piper asked a bit more loudly.
"Isn't that obvious?!" Brooke replied. "I mean that jacket is so last season or even older."
"So you're the fashion guru now?" Piper asked. It actually made her quite angry to hear them talk about Alex like that. She knew it wasn't exactly right to talk about others like that either, but with Alex she had to say something.
"What has happened to you now, Mrs oversensitive?" Mary wondered.
"Nothing." Piper replied.
"Anyway." Brit rolled her eyes. The rest though went on with their gossip and the things they said got meaner and meaner to eventually insulting Alex completely and Piper couldn't take it anymore.
"Shut up! I've got enough of this. Alex is actually a really nice girl. So much better, kinder and smarter than all four of you combined." she eventually snapped.
"Piper!" Brit exclaimed. "What has gotten into you?"
"Nothing I just can't take your shit anymore." she spat out.
"Someone is in love with the dyke." Piper heard Sarah whisper to Mary.
"That's completely bullshit Sarah. I'm just not going to listen to you guys insulting everyone else around us anymore. You're not nice people. Shame on me for taking this long to realize!" Piper said, got up and left.
And just like that Piper was left alone. She had left her clique and had not many friends outside the group. She didn't have much contact to Alex or Nicky anymore and felt embarrassed if she'd just went over and was all like 'Hey let's be friends again' after they had barely any contact at all. So she stayed by herself. It was unfamiliar to eat lunch alone or not to have anyone to talk to but after a while she got used to it.
Soon it got summer and the school year was over. This year Piper didn't celebrate her birthday at all. She didn't have anyone to invite to a party so she just spend the day doing what she had liked for the last weeks: read.