Chapter 21: Acceptance

Carols new acceptance made it so much easier for Piper and Alex, even though Piper was still sceptical about her mother's sudden turn and her intentions. But at least she didn't have to lie anymore when she went to see Alex. She noticed an uncomfortable look on her mother's face but she never argued about it with Piper. To keep her mom 'satisfied' she still met with Michael regularly and often Alex came along too. The three had grown to be friends. They waited for a few weeks to let her mother settle in with everything until she asked if it was okay that Alex came over and even if Carol didn't seem to like the idea very much, she agreed.

"Hi." Piper smiled widely when she opened the door to let Alex in.

"Hi yourself." Alex returned. "It's been a while since I came to visit through the front door."

"I know. Too long." Piper laughed.

Alex greeted Carol, who came into the hallway. Carol managed a small Hello and went back to the kitchen.

"Well, that was something." Alex said and they went to Piper's room.

"Ignore her. She just needs a bit more time. Crazy, considering how much time she already had, but I don't want to ask too much too fast." Piper said.

"It's okay, Pipes. I'm happy already I can come over again and we don't always have to meet at my place." Alex tried to calm her.

"Yeah. But there we don't have to be careful not to be seen doing things couples do." Piper argued.

"I know." Alex was aware of the situation. "But let's not discuss this right now. How do you feel about watching a movie?"

"I'd like to watch one. Suggestions?" Piper welcomed the topic change. They took a while until they agreed on a movie and then started watching seated next to each other on Piper's bed. After the movie ended Alex got up to get something. Piper was shortly confused.

"Happy 6 month anniversary, Pipes." Alex smiled and handed her a rose and some sweets that were tied to it.

"Oh, wow. Thank you, Al. Happy anniversary to you too. I feel bad, I didn't get you anything." Piper said blushing.

"It's okay, Pipes." Alex replied.

"Yeah, but…" Piper started. "It doesn't matter." Alex interrupted her. "You're all I need. You make me happy." They closed the distance and kissed.

"I can't believe it's already six months." Piper said.

"Time flew by like nothing, that's right." Alex agreed. "But it's been the best six months I had. Except for the boarding school scare." they both laughed. They were now laying next to each other on Pipers bed and enjoyed being so close. As everytime she was close like this with Alex Piper felt her whole body tingle. She loved the warm feeling she had every time she was with Alex, as well as the excitement and the butterflies that still went crazy every time her girlfriend touched her or they were close like this. They started kissing and it soon turned from sweet and innocent into rougher more passionate kisses. After awhile they broke apart both breathing heavily. Hands were roaming different body parts and sometimes one of them snuck underneath a shirt.

"S-sl-slow down." Piper managed to breath out during kisses.

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry if I.." Alex started to apologize thinking she had done something to make Piper feel uncomfortable but got quieted by Piper immediately.

"Shh. I'm just afraid, mom is gonna come check if we are okay, and…" she started.

"It's okay, Pipes. I understand." Alex said. They both turned onto their backs trying to calm after their heavy make out.

"Can I ask you something?" Piper asked quietly after a while and Alex could hear the insecurity in her voice.

"Sure. Anything." Alex turned towards Piper and looked at her trying to convey all the love she felt for her.

"I mean, I know, I'm not your first girlfriend, and I don't want to assume anything, but the more I think about it the crazier my head goes and…" Piper started to ramble which only showed even more how nervous she suddenly was.

"Shh. Piper. Calm down. Slow down a little. Straighten the thoughts in your head for a minute and then ask me what you wanted to know. And you know you can ask me anything. You don't need to be so nervous." Alex tried to help her but was getting really curious what Piper's question was if she was getting so nervous to ask.

"Easier said than done." Piper replied but seemed to calm a little. "Have you ever, you know, done it?"

Alex was a little amused by Piper's nervosity to ask that question but didn't show it. "Uhm, no. And it's only been one girlfriend and we didn't go that far." she answered truthfully. Piper seemed somehow relieved to hear that. "How about you?" Alex asked back.

"Uhm, neither. Not for the lack of opportunity or that they didn't want to, but I wasn't ready." Piper quietly explained.

"Pipes, we can take this as fast or slow as we want to. We'll explore this together. Which I think is a great thing. We don't have to do anything one of us isn't ready for." Alex calmly said.

Piper smiled at her. "Cool. Because I know I want to do this with you for the first time, but I don't know if I'm ready yet."

"Don't worry. Whenever you are ready." Alex replied and kissed her sweetly. They kept laying there for a while and kept talking about everything they had going on at the moment until Alex had to go home.

XXXXX

Few weeks later Alex, Piper, Nicky and Lorna were outside in the schoolyard and were chatting. Piper told them how the situation with her mom had settled down completely and how she slowly came around to not saying anything bad anymore about Alex or in general queer people. Nicky had been pretty quiet the whole morning and the friends started to wonder what was going on. Usually they had to stop Nicky so they could say something but today she didn't say anything.

"Hey. Who are you? What have you done with my friend Nicky?" Alex asked looking at her friend.

"What?" Nicky was a little confused as to why Alex would ask her that.

"You usually don't stop blabbing. You're awfully quiet today. What's wrong?" she explained.

"Oh I'm not sparkly enough today? Tell you what. Nothing." Nicky replied. "Anyway, I gotta get going." and with that she was gone. The three friends stood there flabbergasted.

"What was that?" Piper was the first to say something.

"I have no idea. Something is up and I don't know why she won't say anything." Alex replied and turned to Lorna. "Do you know anything?"

"No. I don't have a clue." the younger girl answered.

"I thought maybe at least she told her girlfriend what's bothering her." Alex said.

"No." Lorna said sounding a little sad. She indeed felt bad that her girlfriend didn't talk about it with her.

The break was over pretty soon and everyone went separate ways to their classrooms. When school was over Piper ran into Alex in the yard.

"Hey. I wanted to go swimming this afternoon, do you want to come?" Piper asked her girlfriend.

"I would love to but I want to see if Nicky maybe wants to talk about whatever this is." Alex replied. She didn't like saying no to the offer of seeing Piper in a bikini, but her friend needed her and she wanted to be a good friend and be there for Nicky.

"Yeah, she really behaved weirdly today. Do you want to go alone or do you think it's better if you speak with her alone?" Piper asked.

"I think it's better if I go alone. I'll let you know later, okay?" Alex told her.

"Okay." Piper agreed.

They said goodbye and went different directions. When they met at school the next day Alex told her about her talk with Nicky and how she didn't want to admit at first that there was something bothering her but eventually opened up to tell her. Obviously Nicky's parents were filing for divorce and even though Nicky didn't have the best relationship with them it upset her a lot. She didn't really want to admit that it hurt her as she liked to play the invincible, strong woman no one could hurt, but her friends noticed it and promised to do their best to support her and help her through it.

XXXXX

Couple weeks later Nicky's situation hadn't changed much and every now and then she again was in a rather foul mood. Piper and Alex both tried their best to take her thoughts off her parents divorce and their regular fights but it only sometimes worked. One weekend Piper and Alex were sitting in the diner and had just finished eating. Alex wondered what was going on with Piper since she wasn't as talkative the whole evening.

"Pipes, would you tell me what is going on? You have been in a weird mood for a couple days and it slowly starts worrying me. I hoped you'd tell me when you're ready. I want to help you but you need to talk to me in order for me to do so." Alex said.

"I'm sorry. I'm confused myself." Piper started.

"About what?" Alex asked.

"Nicky's situation, my parents and yeah, basically that's it." Piper explained.

"Pipes, do I need to keep asking or can you tell me what is bothering you?" Alex tried to stay patient but was a little annoyed Piper would just give her bits of information which didn't explain what was going on.

"Sorry. I'm just trying to get my thoughts in order so they make sense, you know?" Alex nodded. "I totally get that Nicky is upset about her parents having a divorce and I can imagine that it is horrible if your parents fight all the time."

"I get that. Completely. But since when is Nicky's situation upsetting you so much?" Alex wondered. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I care about her a lot and I know this is a terrible situation but it seems to bother you bit more than just because you feel sorry for a friend, if I'm getting it right?!"

"You're right." Piper admitted. "It made me think. About my parents and their situation."

"Why? What's wrong with your parents? I thought everything was fine?!" Alex was surprised. She knew Piper didn't have the best relationship with her mother and her dad was absent a lot but this was news. "Are you scared they'll divorce?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think maybe that would be a good thing. If they got divorced. Is it bad for me to think that? I shouldn't want something like that." Piper said.

"You want that your parents get a divorce?" Alex looked at her wide eyed.

"No?! I don't know. It's just a weird situation at home. I can't remember when they last talked with each other. Dad is out most of the time and remember when I told you how I saw him with someone couple years ago?" Piper went on after Alex affirmed "And I think that's the reason for all of his late night 'business dinners' that he says he has to go to. And mom knows. It's the only reason that explains her drinking all of the time. That or she's an alcoholic, which I'd rather not think of."

"Woah, I had no idea, Pipes. Why didn't you say something earlier?" Alex was surprised by her girlfriends depictions.

"I tried to ignore it, but now with Nicky I can't…" Alex noticed tears running down Piper's face and she immediately scooted closer next to her and hugged her tightly.

"Shh. It's okay. I'm here for you. Always." Alex whispered into her ear.

"Thank you." Piper replied. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Pipes." Alex returned. "Do you want me to talk to my mom about it, maybe she can talk about it with Carol?"

"Mhm. I don't know. Give me some time to think about all this, okay?" Piper told her.

"No problem. And if anything happens or worries you, you know I'm just a call away and I can be at your door in about ten minutes." Alex offered.

Piper smiled at her. "You're the best girlfriend I could have asked for, you know that, right?"

"Aww, don't go all soft on me. But yes. I know. You aren't that bad either." Alex smirked and connected their lips for a short kiss.

During the next couple days the topic came up every now and then but Piper couldn't really determine what she wanted her parent to do. The only thing she knew was that she wanted something to change because she hated the current situation.

"Alex?!" Piper called while they sat in the library studying for their test the next week.

"Yeah?" Alex looked up.

"I thought about what you offered last week. That we tell Diane and she talks to my mother. I think it's a good idea. But could I tell her everything?" Piper told her.

"Sure. Do you want to come over this afternoon?" Alex asked.

"Yeah." Piper agreed and they went on studying.

"Hey, nerds." Nicky sat down next to them.

"Cause you are so smart you never have to learn?!" Alex gave back.

"Whatever. I actually am here to invite you two over this weekend, if you feel like a little get together at my place." Nicky told them.

"Yeah, sure." they both agreed in unison and laughed.

"You are sure you two aren't twins?" Nicky asked incredulously.

"Come on, Nick, you've known us for most of our lives. Don't you think you'd know that by now?" Piper chuckled.

"Just wondering." Nicky replied a little absentmindedly.

"Anyway. How's it going with your parents?" Alex cautiously asked.

"Not better really. They finally stopped fighting but only because they stopped talking to each other completely. I hope they actually went to a lawyer to get that divorce. I don't even care anymore right now. I'm just a little pissed that'll be me and my mom then because obviously my dad is the one moving out. And I'm not sure if me and my mom alone in that house is a good idea. Not like she cares if I'm there or not." Nicky ended her description.

"Well eventually they had to make steps forward, right?!" Piper said "And if it ever gets too much with your mother, you can always come over to us to hang out." she looked at Alex who nodded her agreement. "I know how it feels, I'd probably feel the same if it was only me and my mom. But then I also have Cal." Piper added.

"Thanks. I might not always show it but I am really damn grateful that I have you two as my friends." Nicky said.

"You're welcome. You'd be there for us too in a situation like that or any other situation for that matter." Alex replied.

Nicky soon left after their talk and Piper and Alex went back to studying. They had promised to come over the following weekend and hang out.

That afternoon Piper went home with Alex to talk to Diane.

XXXXX

The talk Diane had with her mother unfortunately didn't change much about Piper's situation. It was a couple weeks later and she still found her mother with a glass of scotch in her hand when she came home from school and her dad wasn't home as usual. Nicky's parents were through with everything and Nicky lived with her mother and a housekeeper that would also look after Nicky too every now and then. "As if I need a babysitter!" Nicky had complained but was also thankful when Tamara made her something to eat while her mother was out.

XXXXX

It was three months until they'd turn sixteen and about one month from their first anniversary. It had already been a year that they finally got together. Piper couldn't believe that about a year ago she was dreading to tell Alex how she felt. It seemed so far away. Piper had enjoyed their time together a lot. She loved Alex with all her annoying traits she could have sometimes. It was one year of amazing time with her girlfriend, many romantic gestures and movie nights, more kisses and make out sessions than Piper could count, the annoying necessity to hide their relationship from most people but nonetheless the best year of her life. The time had passed so fast and even though they had decided to take things as slow or fast as they wanted and needed Piper worried that it was weird they hadn't gone further than heavy make out sessions and never gone 'all the way'. The occasions where they could have taken things further had been plenty but shortly before it got that far one of them usually stopped it. Piper knew that she felt ready even though she was scared somehow. This was a big step. What if she wasn't good at it? What if she couldn't make Alex happy and satisfy her? How do you even do that? Piper thought about it for quite some time but whenever the talk was about sex education, mostly their school's lessons, it was always about boys and girls. Obviously everyone knew how that worked physically seen, also connected with many warnings when it came to consequences, but never she had heard anyone saying anything about the female part and gay sex was nothing even considered talking about. And it was always about the technicalities of it and not really about the pleasure part. Piper put a lot of thought into how she should learn about this. Should she try to find a website with serious information? Did something like this exist? Should she watch lesbian porn to prepare? That thought was really strange to her and she knew she wouldn't do that. Should she just go with it and discover it with Alex and 'see what happens'? She heard from quite a few of her friends who had already taken that step that the first time was really awkward and strange but all of them were happy to have lost their virginity. She really needed to talk to someone about this. She just didn't know who, really. Nicky would probably never let her hear the end of it if she came to her even though she'd probably know more than Polly who was her other option. She considered it for a while and didn't come to a conclusion yet when she heard her phone beep signaling an incoming message.

[Polly: Can you come over to talk? I need to tell you something.]

[Piper: Sure. Be there in a couple minutes.]

Piper got up from her bed and packed a few things to take to Polly. Piper wondered what Polly wanted to talk about so urgently that she asked her to come over immediately. She'd find out she figured and went downstairs to tell her mother she'd go over to Polly.

"Hey. What's up?" Piper asked after she said hello to Polly's parents and they went to her room.

"Can't I just want you to come over for a little chat? Does it mean that something happened?" Polly replied trying to act innocent.

"Not with a text like that you can't." Piper denied "So, what do you want to tell me?"

"You always go like a bull at a gate." Polly half complained.

"Wasn't the point that you wanted to tell me something the whole thing why I came over?" Piper asked confused.

"Yeah, but … whatever." Polly gave in. "It happened last night." she let out excitedly.

"What happened last night, come on Polly!" Piper was a bit annoyed.

"Will and I…" she started and Pipers eyes went wide. "Did you….?" she interrupted.

"Did it, yes. Goodbye virginity." Polly laughed.

"Congratulations, I guess." Piper laughed too.

"Thanks. At least I'm sharing it!" Polly said hald accusingly.

"Why do you look at me like that and why did that sound so reproachful?!" Piper asked her.

"Come on, Pipes. You and Alex have been together for about a year now. I gotta say I'm a little offended you wouldn't tell your best friend." Polly explained.

"Because there is nothing to tell." Piper just replied.

"Wait, what? You two didn't?" Polly seemed very surprised.

"Nope. Not yet." Piper confirmed.

"But why? This takes me by surprise a little to be honest. You've been together for so long, I mean I've only been about four months with Will and we said we'd take it slow but you obviously take it super slow." Polly said.

"Well, it's not for the lack of opportunity or attraction. First I wasn't really ready for a big step like that. So we said we'd take it slow and discover that together but now I really want to, you know, but I'm scared." Piper admitted.

"Why are you scared?" Polly wanted to know.

"Because this is a huge step. What if it's weird afterwards? What if everything is different? What if I don't like it? What if Alex doesn't like it?" Piper started to ramble.

"Woah, way too many questions to answer at once." Polly tried to slow her down.

"Plus, I don't have any idea what I'm supposed to do. I mean I know from what we've had in school and so how it works with boys. But girls? That's completely different!" Piper explained.

"I can see that being a problem." Polly agreed.

"And kinda a big one." Piper added.

"I don't really know how to help you there." Polly almost apologized.

"I didn't expect that." Piper said.

"Well, maybe you'll find something on a website. You could try with yourself and that'll help?" Polly suggested questioningly.

"That actually sounds like a good idea. I mean, if I know how to do it to me…" she thought out loud.

"Please not to many details…" Polly interjected.

"Come on. Just because your in a hetero relationship doesn't mean you can't do yourself?!" Piper exclaimed. "But anyway. I'll try that. Now back to you. How was it?"

"Wow. Quick turn of topic, but okay. Not quite what I expected, honestly." Polly replied.

"In what way?" Piper asked curiously.

"Well it was quite awkward and that was half what I expected, but everyone always says how it feels so amazing and I seriously don't see what all the fuss is about." Polly answered honestly.

"Pol, it was your first time. Nobody expects that you or Will are experts at what you're doing. It's just like everything else, you have to learn. Just how I have to learn how it works for girls, you have to do the same and show Will how he gets you there." Piper told her "You couldn't ride a bike first time you got on it, you learned every time you tried."

"That sounds pretty reasonable." Polly seemed satisfied with the answer. "You mean I shouldn't stress out about it being perfect, because someday I'll get there?"

"Right. And neither should I probably but it's easier said than done." Piper chuckled.

"True. So glad we talked about this." Polly replied.

"Yeah, me too." Piper agreed.