A.N: The school holidays are officially here. This fic might be the only thing that helps me to keep my sanity.

Chapter Five: Fili

T.A.2879 Ered Luin.

At very nearly twenty years old Fili has decided that he never wants to fall in love and never wants to get married. The nearest examples he has of it, which aren't all that many, don't seem to have ended well. Only Gimli's parents seem to be happy and since Gimli is only six there's more than enough time for that to go horribly wrong anyway. Fili still remembers his mother's reaction when she learnt that his father had been killed in a mining accident. Kili doesn't but he was only four so that's to be expected.

Fili remembers the way his mother screamed, how Uncle Thorin was suddenly around all the time to take care of them because their mother refused to emerge from the room she had shared with his father. He remembers Uncle Frerin's abrupt arrival from the wilds with a funny little creature in tow who had left with the next caravan only a day later. A creature he had kissed and whispered words of love to even though everyone knew that he was betrothed to Ghruna (and constantly put off the wedding until his hand had to be forced a number of years later).

By this point Ghruna has been dead for four years and Frerin never did marry her, even with the extra pressure applied by both her father and Thorin. Fili used to wonder why Frerin had agreed to marry her when he obviously didn't like her and didn't want to. Now that he's been learning about his duties as prince, however, he knows that marrying where he is told is one such expectation. Or it used to be. Uncle Frerin's bride was chosen for him when he wasn't much older than Fili is now, and he had asked that morning when it would be time for him to be told who he would marry.

"You won't be," Uncle Thorin told him. "After everything with your uncle, I won't be making the same mistake my grandfather did."

Which makes no sense to Fili because those are the exact opposite of Frerin's bitter words earlier in the week when he had interrupted another of Balin's boring lessons. He wants to ask his mother about it, but Kili kept interrupting and both of them are supposed to be in bed now. His uncle's arranged marriage didn't happen and his mother's loving one ended in tragedy. Would she be disappointed if he decided to stay a bachelor like Thorin?

Uncle Frerin is talking to his mother when Fili creeps downstairs. He sounds drunk, which is unusual because neither of his uncles like to overindulge.

"…a baby, Dis, and it should have been mine," his uncle says. "If I'd known how things with Ghruna would end up I'd have married her in the wilds. I would have stayed away."

"Do you regret coming back?" His mother asks.

"They were just beads, Dis," he snaps. "Bella wouldn't have cared that they were mithril and sapphire. I could have given her brass and she would have been happy. I regret coming back for Amad's beads but never for coming to help with the boys. You all needed me." He sighs bitterly. "But I lost her for something that never happened."

"You were friends for a long time before you became lovers," his mother's reply is reasonable. "Surely there's no reason you can't be friends again?"

"I still love her, Dis," there is a thud and when his uncle speaks again it is muffled. "Belladonna Took is my One."

His uncle must be really drunk because the next thing he hears is his mother making soft, comforting sounds the way she used to when her sons were hurt or needed comfort and his uncle's broken sobs.

Love and marriage definitely don't seem to be worth the pain.

T.A. 2941 Hobbiton, The Shire

It's been nearly forty years since his uncle had disappeared and Fili had thought he had grown out of his resentment of Frerin. Frerin who left without a word or clue to his destination, Frerin who abandoned them right when two fatherless lads needed him. Frerin who left his real family for one he had hidden away like some dirty secret. Turns out he was wrong, finding his uncle in the Shire like this (with a home and lover) has brought all of his resentment pouring back.

Not sure that he could be polite to Frerin, even with Kili's obvious excitement, Fili had sought out the hobbit girl. Perhaps Gandalf had brought them to Bag End for Frerin and not a halfling, but he admits to himself that it's a stretch. The girl is pretty, even without a beard and ears that are too elf like, and he isn't ashamed to admit that her fire in the face of his brother and himself upon their arrival had been more arousing than it really should have. It has, he acknowledges, been a while since he had company in his bed and if she wasn't to come with them he sees no harm in blowing off a little steam before they depart (and if the stone sings a little bit louder under the hills than it had before she grabbed his ear he ignores it).

As he spends time with her, he finds her to be sweet and polite, when not provoked, and she blushes quite prettily at the attentions he and Kili pay her. His plans for the night seem to be a sure thing until they come to a clattering halt when it emerges that all of the occupants of the underground house will be joining the quest. Still, it isn't the end of the world, or wouldn't be if Thorin and Frerin weren't so keen to keep them apart for the night and bedding your companions before the start of a quest isn't the best of ideas anyway.

He tries, that morning, to continue avoiding Frerin but with Thorin marching ahead with Gandalf, Kili groaning about the deception of hobbit ale (not that Fili disagrees on that point) and Bluebell claimed by her mother for last minute tasks, he rather abruptly finds his company for the walk to the inn to collect their ponies taken by Frerin. He keeps his attention on the hobbit women in front of him, watching them walk arm in arm and laughing at Kili's exaggerated complaints, hoping that if he ignores his uncle for long enough Frerin will simply leave him alone.

"You're angry with me," Frerin says to him. Fili grunts an affirmation not certain he trusts himself to say much of anything else. "You have every right to be," his uncle continues, like Fili needs his permission to feel as he does. "I'm sorry I left the way I did and I'm sorry I didn't come back. You had your mother and Thorin and Kili, Belladonna and Bluebell didn't have anyone."

"You don't have to explain to me," Fili grumbles. In truth he doesn't want to hear the excuses or reasons. His head hurts from the hobbit ale and hearing the why behind the fact that Frerin cared so little for his brother, sister and her sons that he would up and abandon them the way that he did won't help the hangover. He's realised that they weren't enough for Frerin and he will have to make his peace with that.

"So, they did belong to you," a hobbit pipes up as he approaches Frerin. His uncle smiles.

"Good morning, Hamfast," he greets the hobbit. Just ahead Bluebell, her mother and Kili have also stopped. "My brother, some friends and my sister's sons, Fili and Kili." The two boys bow at the introductions and the hobbit looks at them speculatively, though Fili most of all. It makes him wonder if he is going to hear yet another comment on how like Frerin he appears.

"I hope this means you and Mrs Belladonna are going to give us good reason for a big party," Hamfast seems to be hinting.

"You're hobbits," his uncle actually laughs at the insinuation that he should marry the widow, "you hardly need a reason for a party. And you, Hamfast, are as bad as your father," the hobbit shrugs unrepentantly. "However, you have saved me a detour."

"Have I, indeed?"

"Aye, some family business has come up at home," Fili notes that his uncle doesn't put a name to their destination or where home is. "Would you and your family mind watching over the smial? Belladonna and Bluebell have decided to come with me, and we'll be gone until at least next summer."

"Long trip," the hobbit comments as he takes the heavy key Frerin pulls from a pocket.

"Messy business," his uncle responds. Hamfast hums thoughtfully then turns his attention to the women.

"Finally off on your adventure then, young Miss Bluebell," the hobbit says to her.

"Oh, don't give me that 'young Bluebell' rubbish, Hamfast, please," she replies as she pulls a face. "Besides, I'm twenty years older than you!" That makes no sense to Fili, Hamfast looks a good deal older than Bluebell.

"The Lady's Blessing has been far kinder on you than on me, lass," Hamfast laughs. "Doubtless you'll still be daisy fresh when I'm in the dirt and my sons have children of their own."

"You aren't even married yet," she objects.

"Only because you wouldn't have me. You'd best make this trip right quick or you'll miss the wedding." The hobbit reaches to shake Frerin's hand. "Go on with the lot of you. Horrible, unnatural things adventures are. No two better suited hobbits, though. I'll keep the Sackville-Baggins lot out."

"Thank you, Hamfast," Belladonna smiles and the other hobbit seems startled by it. In fact, now Fili thinks on it, he's avoided looking at or speaking to her at all. "Our wills are in the safe, just in case," she adds and Hamfast swallows hard then nods. Belladonna takes possession of Frerin's arm as they bid their farewells and continues on, leaving Fili and Kili with Bluebell. It's strange to see his uncle do something so hobbit-like.

"How old are you?" Kili asks, breaking his thoughts away from his uncle and making Fili groan (although that could also be the headache from all the ale he drank).

"Weren't you ever told that it's rude to ask a lady's age?" She replies tartly. Kili shrugs in reply.

"Amad probably mentioned it once or twice," he admits, "but I've always favoured the direct approach."

"I'll bet you have," she grumbles. "I'm old enough to be of age and nearly twice that again."

"When do hobbits come of age?" Fili asks, curious but still looking at Frerin and Belladonna as they walk together.

"Thirty-three," is the prompt reply.

"So, you aren't Uncle Frerin's daughter?" Kili says and Fili glares at him, squinting in the morning sun.

"There's no blood between Frerin and I," she answers quickly. As far as answers go Fili thinks Balin would be pretty proud of it. She's neither confirmed nor denied the question as far as their own customs go, a dwarf can be a named parent to a child without sharing blood.

"No dwarf in you at all?" Kili presses.

"Not even a little bit," she confirms.

"Would you like some?" Kili grins. Bluebell makes a noise and for a moment Fili worries that Kili might have upset her. She was responsive enough to their flirting last night but that was with the freedom that comes with drinking more than they ought and in the safety of her own home. Then she begins to giggle.

"Oh, that was terrible," she gasps. "Is this what passes for flirting among your people?" Kili laughs with her and Fili can't stop a chuckle from escaping either. "Please tell me that's never worked?"

"I've never even tried it before," Kili admits, not at all put out by her reaction which makes it obvious enough that he wasn't serious (and Fili isn't sure why he's so relieved by that). "But surely you've seen your mother and Frerin flirting."

"Mama and Ada-uncle," she catches herself, but Fili exchanges a glance over her head with his brother, both aware of what she's just betrayed to them without meaning to, Frerin has adopted her although whether she understands that is another matter, "they didn't need to. They've known each other for so long and loved each other for a lot of that. My parents never would have met if not for fact that it had been arranged for him to marry someone else. But you know that, of course." They fall into silence, both sensing that she doesn't want to talk about the matter anymore and Fili isn't sure that he can blame her, it can't have been easy to grow up aware that, if not for a cruel twist of fate, she might never have been born. It's something they share, had Smaug never come their own mother might not have met their father.

Several children dash up to them, their high-pitched shrieks of glee cutting through Fili's thoughts and making both he and Kili flinch as the noise tears through the headache left from the deceptively strong hobbit ale. Bluebell just smiles at the children who cluster around her skirts, handing out small pieces of some sort of sweet treat. It only makes the sound of the children louder and higher and Kili groans as the children chant her name in thanks before rushing away.

"Are you two alright?" She asks when they finally break free of the sticky fingers and stabbing little voices.

"You matched us drink for drink last night," Fili grumbles, "surely your head hurts just a little for it." The bright, early morning, sun isn't helping and though he knows Kili is trying to be his usual upbeat self so as not to attract Thorin's attention and censure he can see that his little brother is struggling as much as he is.

"Ah," she replies and grins brightly. "Uncle discovered the same thing when he first came. Hobbit ale is stronger than dwarfish ale, Men's too for that matter. With constitutions like ours it needs to be." She glances at her mother and Frerin then grabs their sleeves as she comes to a halt. "Mama will be furious if you tell her about what I'm going to do. So not a word to anyone, and I won't do it for this reason again. If you're going to drink you should reap the rewards of it the next day, and technically it's a misuse of the gift I've been given to use it for something so trivial."

"We won't say anything," Kili agrees though he looks as confused as Fili feels. "But if it's going to get you into trouble…" Bluebell waves the objection off as she looks seriously up at them both for a moment, then she turns fully to face Kili and reaches her hand up to brush her fingers over his forehead. Kili blinks, draws a sharp breath, and then grins down at her. Jealousy, hot and irrational, coils in Fili's gut to see the sly smile she gives his brother in return.

Then she turns to him. It is only the fact that his body blocks the early morning sun, casting her face completely in shadow, that allows this to see the way her indigo eyes start to glow as she reaches up in the same way that she did with Kili (he had noticed the glow the previous night but assumed it to be a trick of the light). Her cool fingers touch his forehead and linger a fraction longer than they did with his brother, trailing down the side of his face and leaving tingles in their wake as the pain of the hangover recedes.

Kili chuckles behind her and Bluebell snatches her hand away with wide eyes. Then she turns on her heal and begins to march away from them, her hand against her chest.

"How did you do that?" Fili demands, reaching for her free hand as his longer stride brings him quickly next to her. Kili strolls beside them, face split in an obnoxious grin. Bluebell is silent for a moment and he wonders if she is going to ignore the question, then she sighs.

"I used the Blessing," she replies, "and no one outside the Shire is supposed to know about it." Fili can understand secrets, his people have a large number of them after all, and he definitely has his own that he needs to keep. "Part of it is the reason that Mama looks like she's barely sixty when she's closer to three times that and why I look thirty when I'm, well, we've answered that question."

"Can all hobbits do it?" Kili asks, partly because Fili is still processing these freely given answers to his unasked questions and also because his open and cheerful nature makes him disarming. People often answer his curious questions purely because all they see is a flighty and slightly foolish princling. Kili's actually more intelligent than people give him credit for being, he's just more inclined towards physical activity than mental. Balin has always mourned Kili's refusal to really apply himself.

"No," Bluebell replies, "we all have it to a degree, but my mother and I are powerfully gifted. Most only have a touch and don't live to be much older than a hundred. Hobbits like Mama and I are only born once every few generations and almost never so close together." She looks like she wants to say more on the subject (which Fili wouldn't blame her for, it's stifling to have something so fascinating to talk about and be unable to discuss it). Instead she shakes her head. "I shouldn't be telling you any of this," she says, and Fili squeezes her hand, vaguely surprised to find he hasn't let it go and resolutely ignoring his brother's quirked eyebrows and smirk.

"Then don't tell us anymore," he replies with a glare at Kili when the younger looks like he's going to object. She smiles up at him gratefully and returns his squeeze with one of her own. The distant hum of the stone buried under the earth of the Shire intensifies for just a moment, then dies away as she releases his hand and loops her arm through Kili's. Fili stifles a groan and listens to the pair chatter as he considers what they have learnt. Dancing around hobbit and dwarf secrets is going to get very tired very quickly. Bluebell obviously knows some of theirs, just as Frerin must know most of the hobbit's, but Thorin won't be happy all the same.

A.N: I haven't actually sat down and written this much in six years. I've plonked out the odd chapter of old fics and the occasional one shot but having kids seems to have fried my brain until recently. I'm out of practice and it shows.