A.N: House sale preparations continue. My anxiety over talking on the phone isn't helping much though.

Chapter Nine: Frerin

T.A.2911 Bag End, The Shire

Screaming and the guttural syllables of Black Speech cuts through the smial as has become the usual over the last six years. Belladonna is impossible to wake when she is like this and Frerin has learnt not to try. She has no control over herself at times like this and Bluebell is the only one that she doesn't run the risk of hurting. The burden upon the young hobbit girl is heart breaking. She isn't even of age yet, but she is very nearly an orphan and perhaps that would have been kinder than the way things have played out because the bright young thing he knew is disappearing in front of his eyes.

Perhaps it would be better if Belladonna had faded after the death of her husband. The thought cuts like a blade through his heart and he can't recall all of the times when he had hoped that something would happen to Bungo and Belladonna would be free to be his once more. Now that she is, however, she is further from him than ever. When he had arrived she had been still, silent, barely moving but to eat and lie down when instructed. Bluebell had done everything for her, tended to her mother as though she was the parent and Belladonna the child. Bluebell's description of the events surrounding her father's death hadn't helped (and learning that Belladonna had been attempting to send for help only to be stopped by Bungo at every turn had filled Frerin with helpless rage) because her experience with her own Blessing was, and still is, minimal. He knows she has tried to heal her mother, he has seen her stumbling through the smial in an exhausted haze as every attempt fails, and he has had to ask her to promise him she will stop. Bluebell agrees, but only because her mother has made the same demand in the time when she has come out of her mind and back into the real world. Belladonna's explanation of things had been terrifying, making Frerin think of the few times when they travelled together that such an outcome had been a possibility. It has changed her and at times like this, as much as he loves her and always will, he wishes that she had fallen that day. He would have taken Bluebell in as his own and returned to Ered Luin with her, it would have been kinder on the daughter. They can't leave as long as Belladonna is the way she is.

His fingers trail over the tattoo on his left arm, the tiny belladonna flower he had drawn himself so many years ago. It has been the only part of her he has had for so long. It may be the only part of her he ever has again. She is so altered, even now that she is awake and functioning during the day, her indigo eyes are a deep midnight and her glorious dark hair hangs matted and limp. There is a vicious scar on her face, cutting across her cheek in a visible reminder of what happened, of what she did and how dangerous she is when she dreams of that day.

Bluebell had begged Frerin to line her mother's room with stone, to stop her from touching the earth in her dreams and becoming dangerous to those less gifted than her. He had refused, at first, knowing how painful it would be to cut her off from the earth. Until the third night, the first time he had experienced Belladonna dreaming of that day, and he had spent a week in bed recovering his strength when she had ripped so much of it from him. Only Bluebell's interference kept him alive and though he will never admit it to the daughter of his heart he often entertains the same thought that so many others have expressed. Perhaps it is time to end Belladonna's torment.

Bluebell doesn't speak to Lobelia Bracegirdle after she voiced the same idea. Bluebell doesn't have many friends anymore and he longs for her to know that companionship and freedom. He curses himself for a fool and a coward for not marrying Belladonna the instant he realised she was his One, for allowing his sense of duty to his grandfather and his people to override the duty to his heart and the gift Mahal had given him. Had he truly fled his arranged marriage and cut himself off from his people Belladonna wouldn't be suffering as she is now, Bluebell would be his daughter in blood, and they would all be happy.

T.A. 2941 The Great East Road

Frerin watches Bluebell as she rides next to Fili, her lips wide with a delighted smile as she beams at his oldest sister-son. She has adapted to riding quickly, not quickly enough for Thorin's tastes of course but his brother knows nothing of hobbits and their connection to the land. Still, given how powerful her gift is Frerin had expected her to still be struggling even after several weeks on the road. To his delight, and her mother's, she looks like she has been riding for most of her life after careful instruction from not just her family but from Fili as well. Frerin well remembers being told of Fili's struggles with riding as a child and it is pleasing to see that it has been channelled into empathy for another.

Bluebell has settled into the Company well even though the long isolation of caring for her mother has left her easily overwhelmed by larger crowds. She is becoming more like the girl Frerin knew, however, in the way that she prefers the noise and boisterousness of Fili and Kili, although their age probably has something to do with that as well. She spends time with Ori too, when the boys are too loud, becoming a bridge between two rambunctious princes and the almost timid scribe. It should be surprising that she would seek out the chaos and mischief that the boys bring over the calming presence of Ori, Dori or Balin but it isn't. Frerin has eyes and he uses them (unlike Thorin he prefers not to remain oblivious to these things), he has seen the way that Bluebell looks at Fili when she thinks no one is watching. He's seen the way Fili looks at her too. They aren't as subtle as they might like to think they are, not even on the night the Company appeared in Bag End and Frerin had wondered if he would need to sit as a guard outside her door. Not that she can't take care of herself, just that bedding your companions is never a good starting point for a quest of this nature.

Watching Bluebell and Fili as the dwarf leans in to mutter to the hobbit brings something else to mind. A question he should have asked Thorin before now if only to protect the daughter of his heart from the same pain he and her mother experienced.

"How is Fili's Stone Sense developing?" He asks his brother. Fili has the Durin blue eyes (Frerin and Kili seem to be the only ones who have missed out on them), but there is a pronounced ring of silver around them that, in the right circumstances, shines. Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, all Broadbeams, have it too but Fili's is wider and brighter.

"Quickly," Thorin replies with a glance back as his laughing sister-son. "Too quickly for one born under the sky who lives in a depleted settlement with no access to the Catacombs. It came on in earnest after you left."

Fili would have been about the right age, Frerin thinks, unlike hobbits they aren't born with their gifts already at the peak of their strength. They are born only with ability to see in the darkness of the mountain halls and a strong sense of direction in the winding tunnels of their homes. The rest comes in during their forties, a second coming of age between being trained and of a size to go into battle and their final passage into true adulthood when their craft has been mastered in their seventies. The strength of their Stone Sense often helps to determine what their craft will finally be. Frerin's Stone Sense is abysmal, but then that is true for many of the Ereborian refugees who would have come into it under sky and on the road. Of the three royal siblings only Dis has any great talent and Thorin's words seem to imply that Fili will be stronger than her.

"How strong is he?"

"Strong," his brother's awe is tempered by concern. "I think by this point he could tell you the composition of the bedrock in the Shire."

"Through all that earth?" Frerin exclaims in shock. That is impressive. Earth hinders their Stone Sense in much the same way that stone hinders the hobbit use of the Blessing. Had they been in Erebor Fili would be deep in the Catacombs with the stone warriors of Mahal even now. "Like Bluebell," he muses without thinking, "she can work through stone even though no hobbit has been able to do that since the Wandering."

Thorin arches a brow at him but Frerin's attention turns back towards Bluebell and Fili. Thorin must know that the hobbits have some magic of their own, none of the Company have missed the way their eyes take on a glow after the sun sets, but the fact that Frerin doesn't elaborate further must frustrate him even as it indicates the hobbits have trusted him with their secrets. Frerin's concerns, however, are not with the secrets he has been given to hold and more with Bluebell. She smiles so much these days, more in the weeks since they joined this foolish quest than she has in years. Belladonna is also watching her daughter and Frerin can see her concern. He doesn't blame her for it, he feels it too, especially now he knows how strong Fili's Stone Sense is.

"I'm sure whoever he is supposed to marry will be happy he has such a deep connection to the stone," Frerin comments. In Erebor a stone warrior would never marry and one so much a part of the stone would never sit on the throne. "Have you found him a bride yet?" He doesn't bother to hide the bitter scorn in his voice. Thorin will know it for what it is.

"We have not," Thorin says, "nor will we. If this quest fails, he will either die or spend the rest of his life as an exile. Erebor will never fall to Fili if we do not succeed. If we do take the Mountain, he will be wealthy beyond imagining and a hero in his own right. He will have his pick if he so desires or if he wants us to choose for him for the sake of an heir we will. The lesson may have come too late for you, nadad, but Fili will not experience the same."

If the looks still being exchanged between Fili and Bluebell (who now has primroses woven through her hair) are anything to go by Frerin won't be the only one relieved by this information.

"Your widow," Thorin says softly, drawing Frerin's attention away from the children. "You know our people won't look kindly on your relationship."

"Because she was married to another," Frerin sighs. In truth this has been something he has known and feared the outcome of for years. As Belladonna has rightly pointed out, however, prioritising his people, both their needs and beliefs, over his own happiness has come between them before and left them with far too many regrets for it. They are both too old to live with more. "She's my One, Thorin, and her people not only accept it, they encourage it."

"And what of her One?" Thorin asks. "How can she cast aside her marriage so easily?"

"Bungo wasn't her One," Frerin replies after a glance at Belladonna. She is talking cheerfully with Dori, likely something to do with sewing or knitting, and oblivious to the conversation now taking place. "If he had been she would be dead, hobbits don't survive the loss of their One as we do. Her illness after he passed was due to the manner of it, not the fact of it." He rubs at his beard. "She wouldn't have married him at all if not for the arrangement that Thror made and the hearts it broke. Our relationship will be accepted among our people or we will return to live the rest of our days with the hobbits when this is over. I'll not lose her again." He looks around and decides it is time to change the subject. "We cannot be that far from Rivendell, perhaps two, maybe three, days. The chance to resupply before we go into the mountains would be welcome and there's a possibility Elrond could help us to find the secrets in that map."

"I will not go to the elves," Thorin snarls, "and I will thank you not to attempt to manipulate me on behalf of the wizard."

"Elrond isn't that bad for an elf," Frerin says mildly.

Thorin's answering glare says that the topic is not up for discussion and the younger brother lets it go. If Thorin is going to be stubborn about it, they still have a couple of days to work on him and if it comes to it he'll take Belladonna and Bluebell and make a quick detour. He has wanted Elrond to examine Belladonna for years, they can always catch up and it isn't likely they will get another opportunity any time soon. It's something that he will wait to say, however, Thorin has made his mind up and it will take a great deal more than Frerin is willing to risk to persuade him to change it. He isn't ready to start arguing with his brother after nearly forty years apart. He'll let the wizard continue pushing for now, it's probably the safer option anyway.