Disclaimer: I do not own the phantom of the opera
and as I always say, English is not my first language, in fact, i do not even talk face to face with a native speaker, so there is obviously gonna be some mistake, and if you find one, please let me know, this chapter is so long that it took me THREE DAYS to edit it, and even so, I'm sure this chapter has more mistakes than others
2/8/2019: General massive edit
17/2/2020: another general edit
'' Erika, no! '' Gerald called altered going down the stairs to the lair.
'' Gerald. '' Erika greeted, relaxed as if nothing had happened, she looked calmer than Gerald had seen her in a long time. She was wearing one of her black masks, a sign that she was not exactly in a good mood.
But there were more important things to attend at this moment. His daughter had left of what Gerald thought was an empty room and something told him that there was the reason that had taken him down here.
'' Erika, you have to take the girl back. Why did you bring her here in the first place? You two do not even know each other. '' He exclaimed, his daughter definitely would be the cause of his death.
But he saw Erika's expression, and he knew that he was missing vital information.
'' Oh god Erika what did you do? '' He asked breathing sharply.
'' I trained her, Gerald. '' She answered and put her hand on her mask, as if that stopped her, he knew that gesture well, it was her way of saying that she was not worthy of anything because of her deformity.
And suddenly everything clicked in Gerald's mind, everything that did not seem to make sense during the last year suddenly did, Erika's sudden happiness, the reason of Carlotta's complaints about how sometimes Christine simply disappeared, He remembered especially the last time he saw Erika hours ago before the start of the fiasco that turned out to be Christine's debut, that dreamy air and that longing gaze that he knew very well as love in the eyes of his daughter. He had been thinking about that gaze all day, but the young soprano never crossed his mind.
Well, he could, and he expected to be wrong, but he was pretty sure of the answer.
'' Erika ... do you have feelings for her? '' He asked cautiously, afraid of touching a nerve too soft on her
He loved his child; she was everything to him, but he was not able to trust her because of the events of the last 5 years.
He remembered perfectly the day when Erika had turned a deaf ear to his warnings and had left the opera with only 16 years; he had done everything in his power to stop her, but in her own words, he was not her father.
Those 11 years were a roller coaster, Erika had traveled a lot, she had learned a lot and although he was not completely aware; he knew she had done amazing things. The first three years when she came to visit from time to time, she looked more than satisfied and Gerald had hope in a happy life for her.
At some point she had been in Russian, and after that, she disappeared from the map, the letters stopped being congruent, she even reached the point where he had been almost three years without receiving a letter, a telegram or a postcard from her, three years where he had not been able to sleep.
The letters came back at some point, but the next time he heard about his daughter, she had set foot in the opera for the first time in 7 years and she had thrown herself into his arms, crying her eyes and her heart out, so broken that he could not stop hugging her for hours, feeling that if he let her go she would break into pieces under his fingers. Erika had cried bitterly, a horrible cry that froze his blood to remember it.
And he had only caressed her short dark locks, her hair had never been shorter, and she never had been thinner or sicker. And he could only hold her and tell her that everything was fine, and that she was finally just home.
He never really knew what happened during her travels, but he had only realized one thing, his daughter had sinned, she had killed, Bouquet had been the last, and he hoped it would continue that way. His daughter was a murderer, imprisoned and motivated by her paranoia, but she was little more than a scared child and despite his love for her, he could not trust her.
Erika had changed, she came broken and she never could rebuild herself; she had spent the last 5 years rotting in the dark, at first she did not eat or drink; it was like her music had died along with her heart. And no matter how hard he tried, he could not get her out.
And he could not trust Christine to do it either, to see beyond Erika's face. And he would not play with that possibility; he refused to let Erika be hurt once more, his poor daughter could not stand another broken heart.
'' Gerald, every person in that world is born with a purpose, and I found mine, it's love her.'' She answered, waking him from his thoughts, her voice was very soft, it was one of the few times where Gerald would classify her voice as feminine.
At first he said nothing, his traditional and Christian upbringing protested, but he had been the manager of an opera house in Paris, this was not at all a strange subject, neither new nor unusual and without mention that his daughter was anything but ordinary that's not the problem he saw with all this.
'' And how do you know she feels the same? '' He asked insecure.
She laughed dryly and without humor for a few seconds.
'' I do not know, but she has to love me, Gerald. God would be very cruel if he played with me like that. '' She said convinced, a crushing longing and a prayer to God shone in her wet eyes.
'' Erika, things do not work that way. ''
'' I was born to rot here, I never understood completely why, until now. Because I was born so she could save me, and that's what she's done. '' She replied, so sure that Gerald knew objecting was useless.
'' Even so, you can not have her here, the count does not stop looking for her if they keep looking, they will find you, you have to return her to the surface. '' He exclaimed pointing to the ceiling. Those words seemed to ignite fire in Erika.
'' DO NOT! They do not deserve her, they humiliated her in the vilest way, Gerald, she'll stay here, where I can take care of her. '' She answered quickly, he did not know but Erika was holding back her explosive character only for Christine, who she hoped was still placidly asleep.
'' Erika, it was her debut as a protagonist and she was not prepared, it was not a reason for you to react like that. ''
'' You have doubts about my skills as a teacher? '' She exclaimed with mockery rage '' I would never have let her set foot on that stage if I was not sure she was ready! Carlotta truncated everything, and it's your damn fault! '' She almost screamed looking directly into his eyes.
'' My fault? The department of culture chose to fire me, I had no voice in this. What other option do you propose? ''
'' Burn this damned tomb to the ground!'' She said so calm that Gerald shuddered. '' Carlotta gave her a muscle relaxer, her vocal cords were paralyzed, do you think I'll bring her back to that hell? No, they do not deserve her.''
'' Erika, the girl is not yours, she has to come back to the surface '' He begged, but his words only stoked her anger.
'' No, you have to go back to the surface! Get out of here, Gerald, I have her with me and that's all I need, go and never come back!'' She almost shouted, much more agitated than Gerald had seen her in years, and he knew it was a lost battle.
'' Erika! Sooner or later they will find you and come with weapons and fire!, I can't protect you anymore! "
'' And who said I need your protection? A single bomb at a strategic point and the entire upper floor will be gone forever. " She said in a laugh, her eyes were unfocused.
Gerald swallowed because he knew that gaze, through the last 5 years Erika had episodes of paranoia and dementia where it seemed that she could burn the entire planet to ashes and it did not stop frightening him every time, with that look she reminded him too much of Belladova, so much that he could barely stand looking at her.
'' And then you could not get out of here and you'll die.''
'' I've lived my entire life in this grave, do you think I'm afraid of a real one? '' She said without breaking eye contact with him at any time, she did not seem to be impressed by any of the consequences he was showing her.
'' But she would die too. '' He tried desperately to drag his daughter back to reality. He knew her mind had not come back in one piece after her travels.
Erika stared at him before answering, the air around her turned cold and her unfocused eyes hardened.
'' She's all I need, I've always been waiting for her, do you think I could continue to live in this tomb tied like a dog without the hope that one day she would come for me?! '' She exclaimed, for the way she refused to look at him, he knew that for her the conversation was over.
'' Go, and never get back, Gerald. ''
'' I'll leave if it's what you want. '' He said in a sigh, without showing how hurt he felt.'
'' You are taking your time. '' She said in a hiss, cold as ice.
He turned around and left. If Erika did not need him as her protector, what would become of him?
He had a terrible feeling about this, praying to Santa Maria so that Erika could recover her reason was beginning to look like a good idea.
When Christine woke up, the first thing she did was curl up in a ball.
The place was cold and dark, and it surprised her how she had not noticed before. Her cloudy mind thought about getting out of bed, but she felt anchored to it. She did not know where she was or where to go.
Where was her maestra and when would she come back? How could she leave her alone after what had just happened?
She felt the tears trying to escape, but she swallowed them, she had cried enough for tonight. She sat on the edge of the bed, looking at her hands in her lap.
A few steps took her out of her thoughts.
'' Maestra? '' She asked insecure and fearful as she got out of bed, her angel's footsteps were never audible.
'' No, not really.'' Answered the last person Christine expected to see '' But she will be back soon and that why we have to leave. ''
'' Monsieur Carrière?'' She suddenly remembered.
Actually, it was not so strange once she thought about it; he had tried to take her teacher and her offstage, and had even struggled with some of the guards so they would not shoot her angel, and for that, she would be eternally grateful. But the big question was, why?
'' That's right '' He nodded in a sigh, realizing he couldn't raze the girl like she was a doll
'' Where are we? '' She asked, looking around confused.
There was a bed, a painting covered by a sheet and another pile of objects that seemed to make no sense, apparently the room was a warehouse, what really caught her attention was a curtain of silk placed carelessly on a wall, it hung several small masks, like for a child.
'' In the catacombs below the opera house.'' Gerald replied anguished, he looked much older than he was.
'' It's like a dream. '' Christine whispered.
The walls were cold, a ridiculous amount of candles almost all extinguished decorated the room, the objects were abandoned, but they were disorganized, as if someone had been here and suddenly had not returned, there was a feeling of nostalgia impregnated in each one of the four walls.
'' Believe me, you are not dreaming. Erika brought you here and does not want to return you. '' He begged, ''I know the way, let's go.''
Christine completely ignored him '' Erika?'' She asked surprised, guessing who he was referring to.
'' Your maestra. '' He said, and before Christine could process that fact, he spoke '' Most people know her as the phantom of the opera. ''
'' I cannot believe it, '' She replied incredulously, squeezing the fabric of her costume between her fists.
The phantom of the opera was something everyone knew but nobody talked about, Sorelli and Mireille had entertained her all day whispered about the rumors and Christine had discarded all immediately, she took it so lightly that she had not even told her maestra about it, when even in those first days at the opera months ago, she already told her everything.
It had seemed absurd, impossible, and not once had she thought of a connection between her maestra and the phantom.
'' Maybe not, but you have to do it unless you want to stay down here indefinitely. Erika ... she does not want to let you go. '' He said, his voice weakening at the end of the sentence. He had been about to mention Erika's love for her, but even someone who had failed in so many things in life like him, could have hope and did not want it to fade away so quickly.
'' What is this place? '' she asked, although inside, she already knew the answer. The smell and presence of her maestra were too strong.
'' This is where Erika lives,'' He replied, a knot of guilt catching in his throat as he saw Christine's incredulous expression.
'' Oh my god, why? '' In this place so cold, so isolated, how she could live without sunlight?
'' Why do she wears a mask? '' He asked her.
Christine hugged herself before answering '' I do not know, she has never allowed me to see her face, we just do not talk about it. ''
It was a forbidden subject, Christine had almost accepted her mask as part of her face at this point. She would show her when she was ready, but that day seemed to be getting farther and farther away, it was the only thing Christine was afraid to ask her.
'' That's why you do not understand why she lives here.''
'' what are you talking about? I do not think any face is an excuse to live alone in a place like the catacombs. ''
'' No, you're right, it's not an excuse. '' He agreed with his eyes looking at the floor '' But we have to get out of here. '' He said taking her by the wrist.
'' No! '' Exclaimed Christine firmly moving away from his touch '' I do not care how her face looks, I've heard her voice, I've seen her heart and there's kindness in her! ''
'' I know, And there has always been, but her face is like death. '' He said, walking away from her noticing her nonconformity.
'' That's rude, she's my friend, my best friend, and I will not let you talk about her like that. '' Christine said with a frown, clearly indignant.
Gerald despite the situation could not help wanting to smile, Erika had a friend, someone who was willing to defend her. Oh, if she knew it was such an accurate description, even in the words of his daughter.
'' Erika does not understand your world, she is a brilliant architect, a majestic composer and a wise scholar, but she does not want to understand or belong to this world anymore, sometimes I am convinced that nobody can help her. '' He said, and although Christine was about of disagree, the sadness in his face made her keep her thoughts for herself.
'' How do you know all this? '' She asked, felt a tightness in her chest, fearing for the answer.
'' Because I'm her father. '' He replied.
Christine's mouth opened. For her the color of the eyes was not very important, blue was blue, green was green, but that night when she met Gerald and saw his brown with almost imperceptible greenish splashes eyes, she had sworn to have seen those eyes on another person.
'' Her mother already was in the company when I arrived, she was a dancer, part of a cultural act of dancers from Japan, Belladova was shy, and according to everyone, she did not even speak French, but the day I met her, it was the first time someone understood something of what she said.''
"The opera house had just been complete. I was 18 and had come as an apprentice to the manager. Belladova was the most perfect, beautiful woman than I would have seen, she was very similar to Erika, sometimes her name wants to get out of my tongue by accident when I see her. ''
'' We were so young, everything seemed so simple back then, we fell in love. One autumn morning I asked her, how could she love me?, she could have anyone, but she chose me, and instead of answering with words, she began to sing.''
La la la la la
La la la la la
'' And oh perfection, until you arrived I had not heard a voice like that. She auditioned at the opera at my urging and was immediately hired, and all Paris fell in love with her!''
La la!
'' Then one day she said she was carrying my child and wanted to get married, oh God, how I wished I could. But there was something I had not told her; I was already married. And she was not prepared for that. She prayed to the Virgin Mary for strength.''
Vierge Maria, save me, bring my salvation! Ave Maria, help this poor lamb!
If Gerald closed his eyes, he could still hear her desperate prayers from the opera chapel.
'' But she did not answer her cries, shortly after she disappeared and searched for her everywhere. A few months later, I found her buying herbs from a gypsy woman, I barely recognized her. And I barely could prevent her from eating them. I brought her to the basements of the opera and took care of her until she gave birth. ''
'' Her face was like nothing I had seen before, As beautiful as she had been - that's how monstrous Erika was. I think the most difficult thing for me was to realize that she did not see anything wrong with that child. For her, Erika was God itself and for our daughter, so was she. But how could I ignore the facts and face the future with false hopes and allow myself to believe that child would have an easy life. I cried for days, but for Belladova, her voice had returned. ''
Oh, you are music, beautiful music, and you are light to me.
'' But one night, she died. I made my best effort and raised her by myself. Erika was obviously a lonely child, but she had the voice of an angel. When she sang, I could understand how Belladova only saw beauty in her.''
La la la la la
La la la la la
'' When she was eight one day, she saw her reflection in the lake, she thought she had seen a sea monster, I still remember her scream, I thought someone was killing her, I have never run faster. She cried for hours, until I made her a mask which somehow made things easier for both of us, or at least it did for me.''
'' That stopped her fear, but did not calm her pain. And like her mother, she prayed to the Virgin Mary. ''
Vierge Maria, save me, bring my salvation! Ave Maria, help this poor lamb!
''Those cries echoed up through the shafts and the cracks. I was not the only one who could hear. And thus the legend of the opera ghost was born!''
The silence consumed the room for a few long minutes. Christine wiped the tears on her face and as if she was seeing the light for the first time, she asked Gerald:
'' She knows you're her father? ''
'' No, and she still does not know, she thinks I'm some kind of uncle. I always dreaded the day I had to leave her and did not want her to live with the pain that her own father could not be with her, she grew up with my fear and when I realized that I would not go anywhere, she no longer needed a father. '' He said, there was a deep sadness in his voice, Christine almost had pity for him, almost
She swallowed her desire to tell him how wrong he was about that last sentence, but she was more scandalized by something else.
'' So you're telling me you abused a foreigner woman who did not speak your language, you decided her life for her and then you decided that her daughter was too ugly to be worthy of love and that she should rot in the basement alone? '' Christine said with wide eyes, she felt her skin warm thanks to the anger bubbling beneath her.
'' Oh no, believe me, Belladova handled the language better than me, she was not very sociable, you know? Erika inherited it, when she was little and angry with me she refused to speak to me in a language other than Japanese, '' He remembered with a melancholy smile on his lips.
Christine raised her eyebrow at the comment so out of place, after that the possibility that he was the father of her angel did not seem so impossible.
'' If you loved her so much, why did not you tell her the true? '' She questioned him, unable to stop the bitter tears.
'' My wife, she came from a dangerous family, I never knew the exact reason why my father insisted that I marry her, but when him was found mysteriously dead, I started to understand. I had just found Belladova, and I feared that this same destiny could reach her and our child. When she died, I thought a lot about bringing Erika to live with us, we never saw each other; we were strangers living under the same roof. But she was a vile woman and although she did not care about me and my matters, she would not tolerate the humiliation of having my illegitimate daughter in the house. Erika was safer down here, I assure you. And even though I had practically moved here, she never questions me. She died seven years ago without knowing the existence of my daughter. ''
'' What kind of excuse is that ?! '' Christine almost shouted, although it did not seem, she had completely lost her composure '' You must have left Belladova alone from the beginning. ''
'' You're right Christine, I could give you a thousand excuses, but I know you do not want to listen it. ''
'' What's wrong with you? My an- Erika. '' She corrected herself quickly, but she had to pause for how strange the name felt on her tongue '' If you seriously plan to tell me to stay away from my best friend just because you think she should stay alone, you are very wrong Mr. Carriere, and you will have to drag me along if you think I'll leave here, " She said, her voice was so cold, Christine had never used that tone on someone.
Gerald looked at her, there was a clear conflict in his eyes, he wanted so much to trust her, but he knew that his daughter was a heavy package, could someone as naïve and innocent as Christine carry it? Something on the girl told him yes, but he could not let hope reach his heart.
His insides twisted, if Christine was not able to see beyond Erika's face, he would lose his daughter forever, and he could not stand it.
'' Erika does not see the world like you and me, and it can not be changed, she does not want to see it and if you know Erika in the least you will know that if she does not want to do something, she will not do it. She has not seen the sun in 5 years and dragging her is useless. ''
'' Five years. '' She repeated incredulously, and she was scared by how feasible did that sound like.
Erika was pale, very pale, she had never seen color in her cheeks, and although usually the bluish and dim lighting of the opera made her look ethereal and almost unreal, in other lights she looked fragile and sick, and although she had never been scared of her, her sudden mood swings always startled her. She wondered how many particular things about Erika could be explained by the lack of sunlight.
'' And for the last 5 years, Erika has been my right hand manning this theater, I gave her control in everything I could, it was the only thing that seemed to make her happy '' he said, telling that story had been very difficult for him, but only until then did he starts crying '' She can be dangerous, Christine, she's angry and I do not even understand everything she's capable of. ''
'' Well, I do not agree, I know her heart and I'm not afraid of her. '' She said, her blue eyes hardened '' I'll stay here until I can talk to her.''
'' She loves you, as a woman, in the same way I love Belladova. '' Gerald said out of nowhere when the conversation had finished, at least for Christine it had done.
Christine could have written a book only about the thousands of emotions that ran through her body, her chest was filled with a warmth that made her feel almost sick, there was such a great power in those words, she did not know what to do with it.
'' it's not your place or your business to say that, and I hope she does not love me in the same way that you loved Belladova. '' She answered, her calm frightened Gerald, She and his daughter definitely know each other.
'' Can you see beyond her face? Could you stay? She is my only child, and I do not want to lose her, your rejection would kill her, and although I cannot do anything to stop you, I ask you to proceed with care '' He prayed to her, despair burned in his eyes.
He could be a father of questionable skills in Christine's opinion, but both were united by their love for Erika.
Christine could not deny it anymore. She was another woman, her maestra, who was over 10 years older than her, broken and an outcast from society, with a face presumably worse than death. They would have a whole world against them, but Christine loved her, she has completely fallen in love with the Phantom of the Opera.
Her Erika, she begged to have the strength to love her.
She prayed to the Virgin Mary for strength, repeated the voice of Gerald in her mind, and Christine never had been able to relate so much with a dead woman.
Christine was still sitting on the edge of the bed, deeply lost in her thought and sighing with each breath, that conversation with Gerald had left her crying uncontrollably for what seemed like hours. So, her beloved had been the result of painfully preventable bad decisions, a terrible oppression in her chest flooding her every time she thought her angel's life could have been less painful so easily.
In that sense, it was easy to sympathize with Mr. Carrière. Now that he thought about it, he had always been a common topic of conversation between them.
She knew that her maestra had connections within the theater and every time she says something of her mystery contact; she spoke fondly and with a strange resignation in her voice; it was clear to her that it was always Gerald. It was easy to want to hate him, but after the huge display of emotions of the last two days, she did not want to feel anymore.
The fiasco of the previous night played over and over in her mind, making her feel worse. What an actress she turned out to be, after that night, she never wanted to face anyone again for the rest of her life; she was too embarrassed. If Gerald was right, and her angel wanted to look her here forever, she was welcome.
Her costume was too uncomfortable to continue wearing, so she had changed her dress, her maestra had left several dresses strategically placed on the vanity of the room, she chose the less extravagant one she found, a white one with light blue beads in the bodice, maybe a little formal for the day or maybe a bit light for the night, she wished there was a window to be able to know
She had tried to eliminate her thoughts by taking her time to do her hair, she usually liked to challenge herself and do the most complicated braids and hairstyles she could every morning, but today she was just not in the mood, so she simply left it loose, Erika had said that it looked good on her anyway.
Erika, her name had escaped a ridiculous number of times in whispers from her lips as she brushed her hair, what a show Erika had given, her teacher had stolen the show without a doubt. According to Philippe and half of Paris, she was abducted and possibly dead. She had a few words that she would tell Erika when she deigned to return.
'' Christine ''
Oh, there she was.
'' Er- maestra. '' She corrected herself quickly, all her anger melting at the sight of her smiling so sweetly.
She was wearing her classic blue mask, her hair was slightly damp, and she was wearing dark trousers, a white shirt that had something big on her sleeves and a golden vest, she was wearing white knee-high boots, it could look strange on someone else but everything always fit her for some reason.
It was the first time she had seen her since she admitted that she loved her, and she wondered how she could have ignored it for so long, that warm feeling that made her feel loved and protected had been there since the first days of her lessons, only with Erika she felt like this.
Erika. A real name to her angel of music and it really suited her, she had thought no name could be suitable for her, but now the thought of calling her by any other name was inconceivable to her.
'' You're lovely. Did you sleep well? '' She asked, smiling, her smile making her eyes brighter and predominant on her face. She really had the most beautiful brown eyes.
'' Yes. '' She said happily smiling so wide that her cheeks were flushed pink by the praise, she felt butterflies fluttering mercilessly in her stomach.
She was relieved to see her, but could not keep her smile. Just seeing her, a thousand different thoughts filled her head. Christine was very sad, what was supposed to be the best night of her life had turned out to be a disaster, and Erika's story had done nothing to lift her spirits. She felt her eyes moisten against her will as she watched the comforting figure of her maestra. She remembered the night Philippe had taken her to the city; he had declared her love and even he had kissed her, but she had spent the rest of the night wondering why she felt more just by looking at Erika?
'' Do not be sad Christine, after what happened I doubt very much that someone remembers that you could not sing. '' She said mocking, looking very pleased with herself ''Besides, Carlotta will be out of service for a while.'' This time her smile became more malicious, and although Christine was not afraid, it was the first time she saw something threatening in her.
The idea that her maestra could was scary for some had never been planted in her head until Gerald mentioned it.
'' I do not remember exactly what happened before I passed out, but I remember very well that I asked you not to do anything stupid or dangerous.'' Christine reminded her, approaching her ''What did you do to Carlotta?'' She asked, crossed her arms, as if I was scolding a child even when Erika was more than one head taller.
'' I? Nothing. The rats in their dressing room maybe, but I did not do anything. '' She defended herself distracted and playful, the same satisfied smile on her lips.
And although Christine tried to resist, she could not help laughing, she laughed for a while seeing the satisfied face of her teacher; she continued until her face was red and her stomach ached. It was not so fun, but laughing again felt very good, and she enjoyed it.
'' You should laugh, it was fun. You're a heavy sleeper. I'm surprised you did not hear her scream.'' She scoffed very proud of herself and started laughing too.
Christine forced herself to stop only to listen to her laughter and clean the tears from the corners of her eyes, all the time giggling and smiling so wide that her cheeks ached.
'' That's the way I like it. '' Said the masked woman seeing the blushing and smiling face of the soprano raised her hand, Christine's heart beat hard against her chest and prepared for her touch
But she only caressed the air and withdrew her hand. Before Christine could say anything, Erika spoke.
'' I had something more planned for Carlotta, I thought I finally had the opportunity to dust off this suit.'' She said as if the previous thing had never happened.
She went to the closed closet of the room and pulled out a completely red suit, a costume.
'' The Red Death. '' Christine affirmed with a raised eyebrow '' You have a problem with Poe. '' She said approaching to touch the garment.
The fabric was sturdy; the color was rich, and the details were almost hypnotizing; it was a simply beautiful costume.
'' He's a great writer. '' Erika defended with a shrug, Christine laughed seeing her so convinced.
Christine always after each lesson begged her teacher to read or sing for her, the voice of her maestra was as powerful as the waves of the sea, and she felt the blood heat in her veins every time she heard her. And Poe was one of Erika's favorite choices, and that was what she almost always read to her.
They had agreed that their lessons would last one or two hours a day, but each time they extended more and more, and if they were not singing or reading, they would spend hours and hours talking. Erika was a fascinating woman, Christine sometimes felt like a little girl in comparison, but she enjoyed her company enormously, and she had become her greatest confidant, she never felt ashamed of herself when she was with Erika, no matter how insignificant she sometimes felt in a place as immense as the opera house, she was her friend, her angel of music, and Christine loved her.
And an unattractive face would not come to change that
'' I like the mask '' She mentioned placing the red porcelain piece in the shape of a skull on her face.
Erika laughed, the mask was big for and just seeing a face so torn on the delicate and angelic figure of Christine amused her
'' You do not need it. '' She replied, replacing the costume in the closet. '' Hiding such a beautiful face should be a sin. '' She said without thinking much, with that confidence that characterized her.
Christine laughed as if she were a 14 years old girl and her cheeks blushed ''It's a great costume. '' she congratulated her, she has no idea where she had gotten it, but knowing her, It would not have surprised her in the least if she had sewn it.
'' I know. '' Erika replied walking out of the room confident that Christine would follow her.
She was beginning to regret having shown it to her, someone as pure as his angel should not see a suit he had planned to used to do an act of such bad intentions. And she made a mental note to remind herself to burn the suit, she wanted to be better for her; she wanted to be worthy of Christine's love and with her more appeased anger realized that removing Carlotta from the map was not a good idea If she wanted to continue having Christine's company.
Anyway, it was an old costume she remembered having rescued from the trash of the opera and restore it completely when she was 16, maybe she could do a new version and ask for Christine's opinion, she trusted her judgment and probably her little angel would find the activity entertaining.
The singer was a few steps away; she had seen all the display of emotions in the Erika's face, and although it confused her, she was glad that she felt better. Erika was hard to read, and just when she was beginning to believe that she had begun to decipher her, Gerald had arrived and made her rethought everything she knew about her angel of music.
Erika was her dearest friend, even though she had not known her name for so long, but what other things had she been hiding? She was afraid of just thinking about it, but she supposed that because of her past it was difficult to open up with somebody else. The fact that someone was cruel to her just for a thing like her face, something that would be quickly overshadowed by her other qualities, or that was what that she thought, she could not imagine that it could be so bad.
'' What are you looking for? '' The blonde asked approaching, looking at the bookseller impressed, there were a lot of books, more than she had seen in her life, although most seemed to be in other languages whose alphabets she could not identify. A lot were in Japanese, she knew it because Erika had taught her some basic kanjis.
'' This one. '' She answered taking out a book wrapped in white cloth, the smile on her lips excited her, because it had to be something very special for her to had that intense shine in her eyes.
'' What is that? '' She asked with interest getting closer, their shoulders brushed and Christine tried to ignore the outburst of warmth that flooded her stomach.
'' A book of poetry that my mother used to read to me. '' She explained, taking the book out of the cloth.
It was a small and considerably thick book, white with golden details in the cover, it was a book of expensive appearance and apparently written by hand for the letters of the cover.
'' It's so pretty, Erika! '' She said excitedly without thinking much. When she realized immediately, she put a hand over her mouth and waited for her response.
The masked woman stiffened for a moment, Christine could see her mind working at full speed and after a few seconds with her face unreadable, she smiled at her.
''That's my name, now you know, take good care of it. '' She answered, there was an almost childlike smile on her lips, her voice was almost shy and her eyes shone with emotion
'' I'm sorry '' Christine apologized without knowing very well why.
'' Do not apologize, Gerald speaked with you. '' She said and although Christine was going to answer yes, she understood that it was not a question, it was an affirmation.
And you know it? The question bounced in Christine's head, but she finally decided not to say anything. The relationship between a daughter and a father could be many things, she knew it very well, and it was not her place; she had no voice in this.
'' I did not want to be intrusive. '' She said regretful and anguished.
Erika shook her hand to dismiss it, she looked thoughtful but carefree, and cheerful in her own way.
'' You're still here, so it was not so bad. I was going to tell you today anyway. '' She said and handed her the book carefully.
Christine looked at the book for a few seconds, deciding whether to touch it or not. If it had been her mother's, it must have been very special to her. She thought in refuse for fear of mistreating the book, but she could not say no to the shine in her eyes
'' I'll be careful. '' She assured, taking the book from her hands, which was somewhat worn out by the passage of time.
Erika watched tenderly the delicacy with which Christine held the book.
'' I know you'll have it. '' She assured, Christine looked up to smile at her and opened the book.
'' Wow. '' She whispered surprised, turning the pages a little faster than she had planned.
It was a book of classic poems, Christine immediately recognized most, because Erika recited them for her by memory and many of them has become her favorites, but what impressed her were the rose petals and the daisies, crushed, dried and stuck forever between the pages , the letters saved behind the pastes and the notes written in the footnotes, the folds of the pages, the phrases with smudge ink after so much swiping, only the mere state of the book told a story by itself.
'' There are flowers older than me there. '' Erika joked suddenly, the line indicating if she was joking or being sarcastic was very thin but Christine had already learned to decipher it.
'' Could we read it? I'll understand if you do not want to do it. '' Christine asked, remembering how difficult it was to live without her father, and she did not want to distress Erika if she considered it too personal.
'' For that I took it out, I thought you might like it. '' She said and although she looked relaxed, Christine could swear there was a pink tint on her cheeks was not there before.
'' I love it, it's beautiful, thank you for sharing with me something so important to you, '' She thanked her heartily, taking one of her hands, callused and strong though clearly feminine. Christine had been mentalized not to look at them much unless she was playing, the little weakness she has in her legs when she saw her hands was so hard to explain, that she preferred not to.
'' Do you want to going to a picnic in the woods for lunch? I can read it to you while we eat '' she asked, Christine's smile answered for her.
'' In the woods? I would love it! '' She said excited, but after thinking about it for a few seconds, her smile began to wane. '' Lunch? What time is it? '' She asked looking at the ceiling, now that Erika was here she was not so anxious, but time seemed to work differently down here.
'' 9:30 '' She answered taking out a pocket watch out of nowhere ''I prepare something while you were asleep, and I assure you that this time it is edible. ''
'' I do not know how you've lived alone for so long. '' She said with raised eyebrows, that sentence had a sadder connotation now, and she masked it as best she could.
'' I've survived by eating cold food. '' She said reflectively looking up ''Let's go? '' She asked offering her arm.
She smiled half-heartedly and felt a lump in her throat as she took her arm. Okay, she loved her, now what? She wanted to protect her, hug her and never let her go. It might not be acceptable but that was the least of her problems and she would take care of that later. She was an actress, being respected in society was something she could not dream of anyway.
Erika smiled at her, and for a moment, Christine felt that everything was worth it. But while she let her angel guide her through the basements of the opera, her anguish grew.
''Can you see beyond that face? Could you stay? '' Gerald's voice said in her head.
To answer that, to be able to love her freely as her heart wants, Christine knew that no matter how much it can hurt. She would have to see her face.
Oh. My. God. This chapter is so massive that it took three days to edit it, it's crazy, I had never written a longer chapter in my life, and I think that deserves a review, so please tell me what you think, because if everything goes well, this will become the first of three parts: Home, Try to forgive teach me to live and All the ways lead to _ (I save you the massive spoiler)
Yeston and Kopit Phantom is a clear example of bad writing and plot holes, and then I come with my bad writing and more plot holes, but this time with a happy ending, which in the end is what we all wanted. Even so, I used a lot of lines of the musical in its English version, or, so I think, I transcribed it by hearing and possibly I invented something without wanting to.
Erik's childhood in the play always sound weird to me, i never understand it completely, I suppose it was easier to say that Gerald was a neglectful father and leave it like that, but let Erika have some parental love. My Erika inherited the impertinence of Gerald and the dramatics of Belladova (which is like her only personality trait, one day I'll write a fanfic about her, she deserves better)
in Takarazuka they are European characters played by Japanese women, so technically none of the characters are poc, but I decided to keep the Japanese heritage in Erika and Belladova because why not,
and I'm gonna shut up already, you can find me in Tumblr as Nessie665, and that Christine's dialogue '' The phantom of the opera was something everyone knew but nobody talked about '' is a Claradwor (also in Tumblr) headcanon.
And finally, if you liked it, do not forget to leave a comment, please let me know that the effort of three days was worth it