Chapter 5: Clouds

"I forget this and that

I forget about the shit that doesn't matter

My memory could be erased

And I'd still be thinking 'bout your face"

"Hey Sorata, I'm finally home"

Masamune said as he stood in the genkan, slipping off his shoes. He kneeled down to scoop up the little black and white kitten. He looked up after he noticed that there were more than one pair of shoes in the genkan and there were noises coming from the dining room.

"Oh God, they're here." Masamune thought to himself as he slowly walked to the dining room. He walked through the archway and saw his mother sitting at the table and his father in the kitchen sorting through papers. Masamune was pretty surprised they were even home, but even more surprised that both of them were there in one shot. It was truly a double whammy. His existence was so far gone from his parents that they didn't even realize he was standing there. Masamune finally spoke up, because he knew that was the only way he would be somewhat acknowledged.

"What are you guys doing here? More importantly, why are you BOTH here?"

His mother looked up and responded with,

"Oi Masamune, what did I tell you about that nasty cat?"

"Wow she didn't even say hello. She hasn't been home for 2 months and the first thing she does is bitch at me. Why does she care whether I have Sorata here anyways, not like she's ever here to even notice." Masamune thought, taking in a deep breath in hopes of keeping himself from squaring up on his own mother. Masamune then rummaged around in his school bag for that damn paper Mr. Kuroi was expecting from him on Monday. It was Friday, which meant he had the whole weekend to figure out what he was going to do with it, but since both of his parents were there right at that moment he decided to take advantage of it. Besides, God knows when both of his parents were going to be in the same place ever again. That shit was about as rare as Hayley's comet. He pulled out the paper and held it out to his mother.

"Here. I have to have you guys look over this paper and give it back to the counselor's by Monday."

"What is it?" said his mother without even looking up at him

"It's a paper about college. I have to get your permission and input on what college to go to."

"I don't have time for that. Ask your father."

Masamune looked over to his dad. Masamune didn't even have to say words to communicate with his father. They would just exchange looks sometimes and understand each other. That doesn't mean they were close though, in actuality they were anything but close. Masamune's dad looked at him for a few seconds then went back to gathering papers.

"I can't. I have things to do. I'm going to head out in a few minutes anyway." His father responded

"Besides, you're old enough to make your own decisions anyway. You can figure it out. Oh and here's some more money for the next month." Said his mother, passing him a small envelope with money in it. After that she just went back to writing whatever she was writing. Masamune turned back around and went upstairs to his room. His body and head ached with defeat. He was mentally exhausted. He didn't even know why he tried when he knew what the result was going to be. His parents couldn't give two shits about what he did, but for some reason Masamune had the tiniest bit of hope that they would be concerned about this, about his college career. He laid on his bed with Sorata right beside him, nuzzling against his side. He stared at his wall for what felt like hours until he noticed that Sorata had gotten up and started rolling around on his bed playing with a string. You know the usual cute cat stuff. He looked at the cat and smiled, reaching out to scratch behind one of her ears.

"Hey Sorata, how about we go downstairs and have you shit in moms shoes. Maybe then she finally be aware of our grand presence." Masamune said sarcastically to himself. He laid there petting Sorata until he felt his eyes grow heavy and he drifted off to sleep.

The sound of something vibrating on his nightstand is what woke Masamune up the next morning. He rolled over, eyes still heavy with sleep as he outstretched his hand trying to find whatever was making that noise. It was his cellphone vibrating every time he received a message. Masamune flipped the cell phone open and he had to squint his eyes because the light coming off the screen was so bright. It took few seconds for his eyes to adjust but then he could finally make out what the message said

"Ohayo senpai, if you're not busy today then meet me at Murasaki Park okay? Let's meet at 12:00, don't keep me waiting ^v^"

At first Masamune stared at the message not knowing what the hell was going on. He then started to remember yesterday's events, how he exchanged his number with Onodera. Masamune's first instinct was to ignore the message and not go, however it seemed the kouhai was already set on his plans and Masamune didn't want to flake out on him like that. He was an asshole but he still had a heart. Masamune looked at the time on his cellphone and nearly jumped out of his bed

"Oh shit! It's already 11:40. Why did he send me that message so late anyway?"

Masamune got out of bed and rushed to find some clean clothes to wear. He even had to watch out for Sorata and make sure not to crush the fuzzy little thing in the process. Masamune ran into the bathroom to take a piss and brush his teeth and he stopped to look in the mirror and a wave of embarrassment washed over him.

"Why the hell am I freaking out about this? It's not like I'm going out on a date with a girl or anything"

Masamune said out loud to himself. He looked at his reflection and realized that this was the first time he's ever decided to meet up with a friend. He had been invited out before by classmates, but he always turned them down. He would either make up some bullshit excuses or completely ignore them. He'd rather be at home watching movies that always seemed to have Hyde or Gakt in them. You really couldn't watch a movie without them. He wasn't particularly a huge fan of them but he grew used to seeing them all the time, he just grew attached to them. Anyway, this was the first time Masamune was going to hang out with a friend. He felt a little anxious now. "What do friends even do when they hang out"? Masamune asked himself. He wasn't even sure he could do this. Jesus, he was seriously socially inept. He finished getting ready and made his way out of his house.

"Damn I'm running late. The park is close to here, so maybe he won't be that mad at me."

Masamune hurried as much as he could, trying to be only a few minutes late. When he finally got to the park he was breathing heavily. "Holy shit I am really out of shape" he thought to himself. He continued walking through the park in search of the younger boy, until he spotted a very familiar head of light brown hair. Onodera was sitting on a bench looking up at the trees. It was a bit windy that day so the light from the sun would occasionally slip through the branches of leaves and made the park look like it was lit up. Masamune just stood there for a moment taking in the scenery until the younger noticed him and gave him a warm smile. Masamune walked up to him lifting his hand to say hello.

"Hey. Sorry I'm a few minutes late. I tried to get here as quickly as I could."

"Nah it's okay. It's kinda my fault for leaving the message so late. I'm not very good with time management."

Masamune relaxed a little bit after confirming that Onodera wasn't mad at him. Masamune studied the boy and realized how small he was. Onodera was already a good 3 or 4 inches shorter than Masamune but his clothes made him look even more fragile, delicate in a way. Onodera was wearing a blue ringer tee with white accents, slim fitting black jeans that were slightly cuffed at the ends, and a pair of black classic vans with white shoelaces. Masamune couldn't help but think about how…cute he looked. Masamune internally facepalmed and started wondering what was wrong with him. Masamune's clothes seem to contrast Onodera's clothes heavily, because it seemed that everything Onodera wore looked bright and new on him. Masamune was wearing a gray baseball tee with black sleeves, dark blue jeans, and black converse. The two of them sitting next to each other looked like they were trying to symbolize what a happy and sad person looked like. It was funny if you thought about how much of opposites these two could be.

"So, what's up?"

"Oh I have something for you."

"What?"

"Yeah, now close your eyes."

"Really?"

"Yes senpai, you have to have the full effect of receiving a surprise gift. Now come on close your eyes."

Masamune complied with his kouhai's silly demands and closed his eyes, waiting for whatever the boy could possibly have to give him. He sat there waiting and all he could hear was the other rustling through what he assumed was a bag. He was growing anxious waiting, until he felt something be placed in his lap.

"Kay now open them" Onodera said cheerfully

Masamune opened his eyes to see a book in his lap. He didn't know what the book was at first glance until he looked at the authors name at the bottom. It said Akihiko Usami. Masamune picked up the book and started analyzing it. He had never seen this book before in stores or seen it in magazines either. He would know too because he was such a big fan of Usami's work. He looked over at his Kouhai who was smiling and waiting for his senpai's reply.

"Do you like it?" Onodera said with his eyes all lit up

"What is this? I've never seen this story before?"

"That's because it hasn't been released to the public yet." The kouhai said in a playful voice

"How'd you get it then?"

"I have my connections"

The two sat there staring at each other for a few seconds until Ritsu busted out with a laugh.

"Don't worry senpai, I didn't steal it or anything."

Masamune looked back down at the book that he was holding. He wasn't sure what to say. He had never been given a gift like this, especially a gift that nobody else had. The thought of Ritsu going through the trouble of getting something so exclusive and something he truly liked confused him. What he said next wasn't supposed to be said out loud but Masamune didn't even realized he said it.

"But why?"

"Hm, why? Well because you're my friend and I thought you would like it."

Ritsu said with a sweet smile. Masamune didn't even know if the boy was even real. He had never met anyone like him before and that truly amazed Masamune. His attention was then brought back to reality when he felt his kouhai rise from his seat on the bench. Ritsu looked over to Masamune and smiled.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Masamune raised an eyebrow. "A walk?"

"Yeah like around the park. Besides it feels really nice out today." Ritsu said while looking up to the sky, staring at the beautiful clouds above them.

"Fine, let's go then." Said Masamune. He wanted to decline at first, but he couldn't bring himself to say no the kouhai. Ritsu's eyes snapped open and he looked at his senpai with a look of pure excitement.

"Really? Okay let's go"

The two started walking along the trail of the park. Murasaki park was pretty big too, with lots of trees. They walked side by side and just walked in silence for the first couple of minutes, until Ritsu broke the silence and asked Masamune a question.

"So senpai have you decided what college you're gonna go to yet?"

"Ummmm, no not yet actually." Masamune felt embarrassed by his answer. Here he was, a senior, and he still didn't have his crap together.

"It's embarrassing, isn't it?" Masamune asked his kouhai, letting out a nervous laugh. Ritsu's brows furrowed a bit, as if he was confused.

"Why is that embarrassing? Senpai you're only 17, it's okay to not know. You have your whole life to figure that out."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement, but everyone else sees it differently. The counselors, my teachers, other classmates, they all think you have to get into a good ass college and have your career planned out by the time the school hands you your diploma. They expect all these different things out of me, expect me to know what I want to do with myself in the next five years, like shit I don't even know what I'm going to do tomorrow. And my parents, they're a whole different story."

Masamune then looked over to his kouhai and realized he was staring at him, not saying anything. Masamune then felt that maybe he had said too much, throwing his issues like that at someone he hardly knew. Even so, he couldn't help but express all these thoughts when he was with Ritsu.

"Sorry, that was a bit much. I didn't mean to throw all that at you."

After that Ritsu's voice came out softly, sweetly.

"It's okay senpai. You can tell me anything that's on your mind."

The two boys continued walking, a soft breeze shaking the leaves around them. Then Ritsu spoke up again.

"More importantly, who cares? Who cares what they think? They aren't you, so what does it matter what they think? You'll probably never even see any of those people ever again, so I say fuck them."

Masamune almost stopped dead in his tracks. He didn't even think someone as sweet looking as Ritsu could say anything so stern. Ritsu looked over at Masamune with a soft smile.

"Fuck them and all of their opinions. Do whatever you want. Be happy, have fun, you'll figure it out at some point in your life. You shouldn't spend some of your best years worrying about what niche you're going to fit into. Just do you."

This time Masamune did stop in his tracks. Ritsu looked back to see why he had stopped. Then he realized that he could see Masamune's shoulders shaking, and was confused. Masamune lifted his head laughing out loud. Masamune lifted his head, looking up at the sky, and let out hysterical laughter. Ritsu looked at his senpai with wide eyes, not sure what was happening, then he could feel himself smiling and letting out bits of laughter as well.

"Why are you laughing?"

Masamune had to catch his breath before answering.

"Because I never thought someone as clean cut and proper as you would bust out with something so carefree. I swear, I thought I was talking to somebody else for a second. You're so straight up it just threw me off a bit, it surprised me."

Ritsu blushed a little bit. He was looking down rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away. It' just how I honestly feel." Ritsu's gaze came back up to his senpai when he felt his hand rest on his head. Masamune ruffled the kouhai's hair with a small smile resting on his lips.

"Don't be sorry. I didn't say it was a bad thing. Actually, I really appreciate it. I'm starting to think you're the only honest person out there."

Ritsu smiled with a pale pink blush on his cheeks.

"I never thought you'd laugh. You have a contagious laugh, I couldn't help but laugh myself."

Masamune blushed and looked away quickly so that his kouhai wouldn't see. He internally scolded himself for blushing like a girl. The two continued walking, talking about this and that, exchanging light laughs and gentle smiles. During all this Ritsu looked at his senpai while he was smiling and blushed a little bit. Ritsu looked down and thought to himself,

"Senpai looks really beautiful when he smiles."

The sky had become a pretty shade of light purple, the clouds had a tint of pink in them, the sun was setting. After the boys walked the path around the park, they started talking about the book that Ritsu had given Masamune and the two boys ended up sitting at a bench looking at and talking about the book together, and they ended up doing that for hours. Time flies when you're having fun I guess.

After that the boys finally decided to head back to their homes. They walked part of the way together until the came to the point where they had to part ways. Before Ritsu said goodbye for the day, Masamune thanked him again for the book and then they said their goodbyes to each other. Ritsu turning around one last time to smile and wave at his senpai. Masamune waved back and continued down his street. As he was walking he couldn't help but feel a bit sad. He didn't want the day to end. He never though he'd say this but he actually had a lot of fun with his kouhai today. That was the first time he had ever felt like that, so carefree and able to let loose. It truly felt amazing. Along with that feeling Masamune could also feel a heavy tugging at his heart and his stomach felt all light and fluttery. He got these feelings every time he thought about the younger boy's face. His sweet smile, light and cheery laugh, bright green eyes that seemed to light up when he talked. Masamune looked up at the purple-pink clouds as he was walking, letting his eyes close slowly, feeling the breeze flow through his eyelashes. He then allowed his eyes to open, looking down at the ground clenching at his chest, cheeks turning the slightest shade of pink.

"Why am I feeling like this?"

If only Masmune knew that on the other side someone else was also thinking the same thing.

Hey guys, sorry it took a while to update. I had a shit ton of assignments that needed to get done so I had to put this off to the side for a while.

Anyways I wanted to explain the quote in the beginning. The quote is from the song that inspired this chapter, which is called Clouds and it is sung by BORNS. It's an awesome song and it's so beautiful and I really recommend listening to it if you have a chance.

Thanks for reading. Until next time 3