Note: Sorry for the long time it has been. What with the holidays and everything that goes on in my life, taking the time to sit and write has been… difficult. Entire weeks have gone without me writing whereas I am used to writing on a daily basis. I wish I could say when the next chapter is, but I don't know.

This episode is proving a bit longer than I expected, but it has a lot more stuff to it and something very big that needs its proper pace to be done right.

Episode 1 Part 4 - The Beginning of the End

Blood pumps in my ears. The very blood in my veins boils. My skin becomes inflamed. And in all of it the hatred… the burning, vengeful, hate that had played out every day of my life returns like an old friend. All I see beyond the door is Nihilus.

Yet just as quickly as the mindset of Starkiller comes to me, it just as quickly is contained.

I am not that way anymore. I don't deny Nihilus still has my life, with all of its friendships and joys, by the throat. But like Ahsoka showed me by example, the greatest revenge to have on someone of such evil is to not give them what they want. But… if I don't, then he will lash out.

I shake my head. This is the same problem I have always had. Facing Nihilus has been like being stuck between a rock and a boulder for as long as I can remember, and the only way to get any work against it has been to embrace it. Only that has made it worse by bloodening my hands.

What do I do? To go against him would be what he wants, yet I know I cannot flee. To try to escape him would bring about the events of Coruscant again. The whole reason he lashed out back then was because he wanted me back. He is selfish. To him, I am everything. In the same way, I cannot just give in and do nothing. That would only allow his evil to fester.

The question becomes a circle of questions, each leading to each other in my mind, driving me further mad and in my anger I roar and my power lashes out against the walls around me. I don't know how long I am there contemplating the impossible equation, but warm arms wrap around me and a reassuring presence enters my mind. I find myself sitting on the ground holding my head in pain, crying in aggravation and anger and frustration.

"Ahsoka?" I wonder.

"It's okay."

With those words, much of the turmoil I am in disappears. Like a true battle, there is nothing left in its wake. I am not angry, but nor can I feel happy even that she is here. It was inevitable. Even a moment with Nihilus has left me emotionally exhausted and empty inside. I'm just… tired.

"No… It's not." I reply. "They cannot trust him."

"Of course not, he's a monster."

I hear Tree-Hugger enter the room, "And despite that… he is right. We don't have what it takes to fight the Sith."

"The Sith are not all-powerful. They are flesh and blood like us." I argue.

"Yes, they are. This war will be about every gun, every cannon, every starship we can get. But you and I both know, Varus, that the center of this war will be decided by the ones with power. Think about it. Sion, a Sith that dies to no weapon. The Dread Lords, Sith able to mentally dominate entire fleets and armies. Valkorian, an immortal Sith who can hand out power to non-Force users as though that power was chump change and expendable. And those are just the ones we know about. Against something like that… the only weapon we have is you, Ahsoka, Falon, Obi-Wan, and me, that I know will rally amongst the Jedi, and I promise none of us are up to par with that. We may gain more allies that will answer the call to war, but do you truly know anyone that can compete with that?"

"Aren't there any Jedi that can fight?" Slavian asks.

Tree-Hugger sighs, "Fight, yes… But… People taught balance and restraint against ferocious warriors who embrace power fanatically… There is little comparison."

"There is none." I agree. "Mustachio is especially gifted, but he is as mortal as any of us. Even Windu and Yoda were better, and they both fell to Nihilus on Coruscant."

Tree-Hugger looks uncomfortably silent, and slowly everyone looks to him. He tries to avoid our attention. "What?" He asks at last, innocently.

"Master?" Ahsoka wonders.

"Yeah…" He scratched his chin nervously. "Master Yoda isn't dead."

"What?!" Everyone, except me because I don't care, exclaims. Even the mute padawan is stunned.

"Look, it's a secret only the highest Masters know. The fall of Coruscant broke him, and it has taken years to help him. He was… insane… when we first found him. The grief was too much. He is also old… very old. Almost as old as Valkorian, now that I think of it, and he is at the end of his natural life."

The news both saddened and made Ahsoka happy. On one hand, a master she still respected and grew up with was alive. On the other, he was broken.

"Seriously?" I scoff. "That little frog-thing is as old as Valkorian?"

"Nine-hundred years."

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. "Okay, I'll admit it. He looked good for his age, even if he was a wrinkled toad-ow!" Ahsoka smacks me upside the back of the head. "But that leaves Falon Grey. There are many Jedi stronger than him, but his skill to see the time paths makes him unique."

"What about Koj?"

"He'd help." I say without hesitation. Koj is powerful. He was empowered by Valkorian, and has become stronger than any member of the Eternal Hand. But stronger than a champion of Valkorian? Maybe, just maybe. "That still leaves me, Tree-Hugger, Falon, Koj, and a few Jedi as the only force-users with any potential to go toe and toe with them."

I put my head in my hands and sigh in despair. No one says anything. They don't have to. The uncomfortable truth is that we need Nihilus on our side if we are going to stand a chance against the Sith.

We stand in silence for some time as the reality of the situation sets in. I will have to work with Nihilus once again…

Tree-Hugger arranges with the Mandalorians for rooms. We had come here on his fastest ship and the Ravager is a day or two behind us. With words of encouragement, and comfort, he takes the first room. The padawans take the second after some alone time with Ahsoka. They are worried and are unsure how to feel about the idea of Nihilus not only being free, but joining us in the war, as well as the idea of the war starting soon. With her experience of having been in an intense war at their age, she is able to explain to them what it is like and how they need to stand strong both as individuals and together. They need to depend on others when they can and depend on themselves when they cannot.

It is another hour before she joins me in our cabin, and I spend the time sitting on the bed, for a lack of other furniture, remembering the years I spent under Nihilus and trying to remember a bit of the old mindset I used to have. I have no desire to be the hatefilled Starkiller once more, but the mindset of Starkiller was able to anticipate Nihilus better than Varus ever can.

Ahsoka enters our cabin to find me stewing. She takes off her outer robes and puts them in a pile with my jacket. She starts to strip more, but stops herself and sighs. I smirk, "Sorry, Love. We didn't bring any night clothes with us. We were in too much of a rush."

"I know, I know. That's fine, we'll make do." She smiles. Its fake.

"Hmm," I mutter. "What time is it? I feel so tired."

Ahsoka crawls onto the bed beside me, crawls, over, and says suggestively, "Its only six. There is plenty of time."

I look at her out of the corner of my eye. Normally, if she were coming onto me, I would respond in kind. She's beautiful, sexy, and insatiable; all while knowing exactly how hot I think she is. However now is not the time. My mind is still processing the situation and want it entails, and my every instinct tells me she is fake. From her smile to her closeness. Its all fake.

"Normally I would like nothing more than a night with you, but I am tired. Just being in 'his' presence for a short time is enough to leave me drained. Besides…" I stroke her cheek and lean in to whisper. "Your faking it."

Her façade slowly crumbles before the worry and exhaustion comes over her as well. While I may not be the most intelligent or socially inclined man, I can still tell when she is forcing herself. It is also predictable, not so much on her part, but that is simply the impact Nihilus has on people. Nature abhors a vacuum. In the same way, I grew up getting louder and more rebellious to compensate for his lack of all but existence. With his presence he can drain all joy from a room, all light from a sun, and life from whatever it is he touches. And I am the one thing he can't stop touching. I would almost think he is a homosexual and pedophile if he had the slightest interest in something so mortal. It is only natural for Ahsoka to despise the emptiness created in me by him, and to find a way to spice things up.

She leans into my shoulder and I feel her mental barriers give away. We had reflexively put them up when Nihilus was having an effect on me, but now we have to make a conscious effort to let our guard down.

I feel her pain. It's not what I thought it was, not entirely. Her phobia of being left alone is kicking in again, and it is because the one who set me on my path down the Dark Side is here, so she fears I will leave her behind. My quest for vengeance is not something she can agree with, and it would split us and yeah… It's a stupid fear even in her own mind, but I would be a liar to not admit the fear is not warranted. So no, her attempt at allure is not fake, it is forced. She wants to feel she hasn't lost me.

In turn, she also feels what coils inside me. It is too intertwined for even myself to make sense of, but she has a knack of understanding things I don't see.

"You still feel his slave…" She mutters. "Even after all these years a part of you is bound to your quest just as much as you try to escape it. How can he still hold so deeply into you? His bonds have been cut. We have had no contact with him, nor has he done anything, since his imprisonment. Even before, while you kept him hidden on the Ravager, he was complacent. And even before that, you went years without any involvement with him."

"Some things go a deep as the soul, Love. He made sure of it."

"And I haven't?"

"That's why it is so hard. You both have. I hate him for what he took from me. I hate him for what he made me into. I love you for teaching me to forgive, to heal, to move past what he made me. But then I fear him because I cannot kill him, because he will never let go of me, because he will go after you. You're the only thing that keeps me from becoming what he wants me to be, so I know he sees you as a threat."

"Much as a girl loves being put on a pedestal, you aren't so pathetic that I had to hold your hand every step of the way. I was just there for you. And not like your entire world revolves around me, you know. I've had stuff of my own to deal with."

"Can't a guy dream his wife's world revolves around him?"

"Sure you can. That's why we got the alarm you keep blasting off the shelf."

I chuckle. One of these days they will invent an alarm that is lightning proof. "I chalk that down to PTSD or reflex."

"PTSD is a bit stronger than just a reflex." She chastises me.

"Whatever." I continue to chuckle.

We sit in silence for a time. I still know Nihilus is there, so much so it is as though he is physically manifest in my mind, but for a time I can force myself to forget in her embrace.

Were Nihilus a prideful man, he would have felt honored.

The ship that contained Nihilus was little more than a frigate. Its purpose was speed and firepower over all else, but the contingent of support frigates, assault frigates, corvettes, interceptors, and support drones made it more than just a wolf, it was a pack that had gone after Nihilus. Over the course of time from his surrender to when Varus caught up, Mandalorian forces increased to include two dreadnaughts, five assault frigates, seventy interceptors, thirty corvettes, and two hundred support drones.

When Mandalore arrived, that force doubled.

Nihilus looked on Mandalore. In his mind, this was merely formality, yet it was due formality. Nihilus had already said twice what his intentions were, but there was something to be said for 'seeing it for yourself'.

"Correct." Nihilus stated. "As stated, my intentions are to aid you against the Sith in the war."

The only reason Nihilus spoke to Mandalore was that the man had been cooperative enough to have Galen in the room. Or Varus. Or Starkiller. Or Keeper. Or whatever his apprentice was calling himself these days.

"Why should I believe a word that comes out of your mouth?"

"You shouldn't." Nihilus replied. "I would consider you a failure of a political leader if you were to take anything said as face value, more over from a man you don't trust. And let us be honest. You don't trust me."

Just as abrubtly as Mandalore entered, he left, followed by Galen. Nihilus closed his eyes and allowed time to pass. To one such as him, that had lost all concept of time, a day was a thousand years and a thousand years was a day. His patience was limited only by the pulsing hunger he endured. It was by the increasing drain on his sanity and life that he had any concept of time anymore, and this was changed greatly based on how fed he was.

He hadn't properly fed in a long time, but the crystal, thankfully, kept his hunger at bay. Were he to have a crystal of his own, he might consider imprisoning himself in it just to get away from his hunger.

Consider it, but not do it. It was nothing but a stalemate against the hunger. Not good enough.

The door opened, the cage released itself, and Nihilus opened his eyes to find Mandalore before him and Galen standing in the corner keeping his distance. An hour might have passed, a day, two days since their departure. Nihilus couldn't say.

Mandalore said, "In return for your full and complete cooperation you will be returned to your prison to rot for eternity."

"I have many problems with that. The first being that is not a more favorable deal than what I have had to endure to begin with. Second, the prison was a waste of time. I endured it for no other reason than to wait. When the time to wait was over, I left. Third, I don't recall asking for a plea or deal. I intend to fight the Empire with or without you, and for your sake it is better to take advantage of me."

"You're right. That is not a better deal than what there was before, but then I am not the bargaining type when it comes to genocidal monsters."

"Nor are you capable of making a deal with me." Nihilus replied. "Do you even grasp how easily I can unleash my full power and consume you? Take this ship? Begin the war with the Sith on my terms?"

"I do. Which is why in the case of my death, this ship will be locked down. The controls will be destroyed. And it will be pushed into a black hole."

Nihilus found himself… hesitantly fearful, and respectfully surprised. Or rather the memory of such emotions. The man knew he was reaching his head into the lion's jaws, and he was fine with it. In turn, he had inserted the knife into the lion's jaw so if the lion ate him, it would die. Nihilus would not die, but he would find it very unpleasent to be in a black hole for who knows how long. He would escape, but it would still be uncomfortable.

Nihilus smiled. He had always liked this man. Mandalore was entertaining.

"Then allow me to offer what you will allow. From my time in the Sith I came to learn a great deal about them, as well as about Emperor Valkorian. If you will not have me fight, then allow me to provide information."

"That goes without saying."

Once more, Mandalore left abruptly. Nihilus closed his eyes.

"Can we trust him?"

"No."

"Then allow me to expand on the question. Can we trust that if we let him help us, that he will not turn on us and wipe us out?" Mandalore rephrased.

Anakin Skywalker, Falon Grey, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and two other Jedi Masters exchanged glances. A number of Mandalorian officals were also at the table. Varus stood in the back of the room watching, as did Boba Fett, Rex Voda, and Izthark.

"He has attacked innocents and committed genocide too many times to count!" Someone said.

Obi-Wan frowned and gulped before stating, "That is not in question. What is in question is whether or not Nihilus is good to his word. Even hired guns and criminals can have a sense of professionalism in their work. In this case, I believe Nihilus' professionalism is in question."

"Exactly." Mandalore nodded. "Let me assure you. No one has been at war with Nihilus longer than the former Admiral Kandosi, myself, Bastilla, and the apprentice over there. I am not taking this situation lightly. But a circumstance of war is mercenaries and hired guns. Jedi, I am sure you remember a time or two you had to side with criminals to get the job done, and in those cases I believe myself right in saying that you knew they were criminals, but you trusted them in so far as their professionalism allowed."

Several men argued back and forth, while Anakin stayed silent and unsure. The argument was valid on both sides. Nihilus was useful, and Anakin knew Nihilus to be professional in the extreme. But at the same time this was Nihilus they were talking about. He was #1 on the galactic most wanted list for a reason, even after being imprisoned. Anakin had nearly lost his son to the monster, so it was personal. But on the other hand he had once been inhabited by Nihilus and knew just as intimately the kind of person Nihilus was. Nihilus was absent of deceit in the way robots or animals are. The part of a person that made them liars, that made them flawed and 'human' didn't exist to a Force spirit.

Finally, a Jedi looked to Varus and said, "You were once the apprentice to Darth Nihilus. Can you be an advocate for his character?"

"I can."

"Then can he be trusted to hold to any agreement made with him? Will he turn on us?"

Varus avoided eye-contant and looked haunted as he reflected on his time with the Sith Lord. "Nihilus has made agreements with several factions in the past. He has aided people when it suited him. He always gets something out of it, but he never breaks the contract. Even when it inconveniences him he will hold to his word."

Anakin nodded. "Nihilus is one to hold a grudge, and to uphold promises to the letter. He told me on Coruscant that if Varus forsakes him, then he would take something from me in kind. Five years later he possesses my son, and thanks to the Ghorfa priest we managed to exercise him. Luke is fine, by the way, but my point is that Nihilus doesn't forget his promises… and he keeps them."

"How do we know he hasn't already made an agreement with the Sith Emperor!" One yelled. Others nodded in agreement.

"You mean to say he is a double-agent?"

Varus argued, "Nihilus would never do that. He despises them."

Mandalore ended the argument with a wave of his hand. He said, "As the apprentice and Jedi Master have the most experience with the Sith Lord, I think we can take from this that Nihilus is professional in his work. What concerns me greatly is that you said he 'always gets something out of it'. I have little doubt he has an agenda in mind, but can you shed some light on this?"

Varus said, "Nihilus is a single-minded Sith. He has always had an agenda to complete the work of the Triad against the Sith, but his more constant agenda is dealing with his hunger in some way. He never goes anywhere or does anything without it, in some way, being affected by how hungry he is. Sometimes he demands sacrifices as payment. Sometimes he joins a battlefield just to feast on everyone in it. Sometimes he gets recruits or supplies for them, or research toward a way to end his hunger. If he has put himself out to help us, then I think he is doing both. He seeks to complete the work of the Triad, and to satisfy his hunger at the same time. That will make him especially 'tunnel-visioned'."

"Then why insist so heavily on you being brought to him? That sounds like another agenda." Mandalore wondered.

Anakin answered this time. "Nihilus consider's Varus to be his 'last meal' of the Miraluka. Would a starving man ever give up the last bite to the most satisfying meal of his life?"

"That has to be the creepiest way of describing me…" Varus muttered. "And accurate…"

"It doesn't matter!" Someone said. "What matters is whether or not we can trust him."

"Can anything be cross-referenced for accuracy?"

"Most likely not, we lack original intel on the Sith."

"We should send him into a black hole! No deal!"

Mandalore sighed inside his helmet and let them talk. He made his decision, but allowed them to throw arguments back and forth to see if anything said would be valid enough to counter him. In the end, it was only going back and forth.

"We cannot trust him." Mandalore decided. "I will be sending him to another prison, one without transports for him to use in the vacuum of space. Even if he manages to escape, he can't move at Warp speed." Varus nodded in approval. "It will take millions of years for him to get anywhere."

After the meeting, he asked Skywalker to stay and talk with him alone. He waited until the others had left.

"We're going to use him." Mandalore declared in confidence.

Skywalker stilled and stared. "You lied to them?"

"Yes. The fact is, we don't have proper intel on the Sith or on Valkorian or his assets. I have also sat in council over the Jedi's ability to counteract the power of the Sith's magic… and it comes up amazingly short." Mandalore looked out the window at the small fleet around them. "Jedi, right now the Mandalorian Clans are at the peak of our strength. I have turned every industry toward fueling war, and every credit towards this battle. Win or lose, we can only afford a war for two years before the Clans will be bankrupted and must start giving up assets to the banking clans. I cannot afford to hold back. We have to use every card we have at our disposal."

Skywalker felt his breath hitch. At first he consideredt he possiblity the man was insane, but then something on a scale like this would require the assent of the clans. Among which the largest was the Voda. With their selflessness, it wasn't really a far-fetched idea that the largest power in the inner sphere would bankrupt itself to fight a war.

The Clans would become a third-world power, lose everything, their people would enter a depression, their economy would collapse. This was the kind of thing people went to war to prevent!

"Why tell me?" Anakin asked.

"Because I need your help. I have Jedi under me, but you are special. You are the only one who can keep Nihilus contained. He can't touch you, but you can touch him."

Seeing as how he had the Jedi's full attention, the former soldier continued, "My plan is to give Nihilus the body of a man set to be executed tomorrow. Nihilus will then wear plated armor over every part of him and have nothing revealing. No lightsaber, and his mask will be secured. He will be assigned to be your bodyguard, when in reality…"

"I will be his captor."

Mandalore nodded and faced the man. "You catch on quick. What I need is intelligence and a direct counter to the Dread Lords. If Nihilus can keep our fleet from being turned against itself, then that will be enough. If he proves useful and professional, we may employ him more."

"What about the rot?"

"Rot?"

"Any body Nihilus possesses will decay. The process begins within a few days and after a month it is as though the body has been dead for a hundred years. People will notice."

"Hm…" The clan lord sighed. "I may have to bring in a number of capital punishment prisoners for him then… Not to feed on, but to be spread out over time." Anakin gulped. Mandalore replied, "I don't like it either. Even as prisoners and monsters they deserve better then to be host by… that. Death is suitable for them. If the opportunity arrives for Nihilus to possess the body of an enemy, then that would be preferable. Otherwise just do what you can to keep it low key."

Silence set in a moment as Anakin considered it. It didn't sit well with him, but Anakin looked inward towards the Force. He felt the Force was in agreement. The Force told him that Nihilus had a part to play.

"I will under one condition, and after one question." Anakin declared.

"What is the condition?"

"I will not keep it a secret from my family, and from my former padawans."

"Absolutely not!" Mandalore roared.

"My wife is Padme Amidala! She knows what the words 'top-secret' means and won't say a word! And Nihilus already, as it is, will only speak when Varus is present so he WILL know! Better to know from me than find out the hard way. And he is mentally connected to Ahsoka, and married, so she will know when he does."

Mandalore growled and glared at the man through his helmet, but as always when he interracted with the man, Anakin didn't back down. Mandalore saw a hint of wrongful pride in it, but then that was to be expected when you are told for years you are a glorious prophesised one. And being a Mandalorian, they respected a bit of pride.

"Very well. And the question?"

"What do you think Valkorian is trying to get out of this?" Anakin asked. "It can't have eluded your notice that the intel of a star map was passed to us from Valkorian directly."

"Simple," Mandalore considered. "It is the opening move. A way of saying 'I'm done hiding. Come for me, or I will come for you.'"

"But opening moves also tend to come from strategists only after they are sure the trap is set or they can keep the fight going at their pace."

Mandalore chuckled darkly. "Then we best turn it to our pace."