Hi guys! I know no one reads this story for the plot (and the Nightlin bits are certainly the most fun to write), but I don't feel their relationship can progress in isolation; we need to look at her relationships with Severn and others in order to make Nightlin work, so some encouragment would go a long way towards more chapters. (Unless the last couple chapter have been crap; I know I'm off my game, but hopefully this chapter will make up for it.) Here is a long chapter is entirely Nightlin and rated M for the last 500 words or so. I hope you enjoy!
(Ok, seriously, how do I do line breaks on here again?)
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"Please tell me you're not expecting me to actually act like that," Kaylin said in Elantran by way of greeting, once she had found her feet after crossing Nightshade's portal. He raised a brow over blue-green eyes, holding his hand out to her; she accepted it. Having seen her safely to the Castle, Andellen had chosen to stay on the other side of the portal; Kaylin vaguely wished she could have done the same. Hope observed the fieflord from his perch on her shoulder.
"I consider Lord Diarmat prudent for focusing on those matters of etiquette most likely to arise at the ball," Nightshade commented in High Baranni, as they walked arm in arm down the hall. Of course he did, Kaylin thought sourly. "That said, we will deliberately arrive after the ball has begun, so the etiquette for greeting our host, in this case the Emperor, will not be relevant."
"We?" Kaylin repeated, having stuck on that point.
"Indeed," Nightshade replied, his eyes shifting to an almost solid green. "You could, of course arrive on your own." Kaylin waited for the trap. "I am certain you understand that anyone personally invited to such an event, will be noted by people of power. They will assess you and look for ways they might be able to use you."
"Like you did?" Kaylin questioned, without any heat. Nightshade smiled, seeming pleased as opposed to offended by the comment. Kaylin would never understand Immortals.
"Precisely. If, however, you arrive as my erenne, interest in you will be somewhat lessened."
"Not entirely absent?" Kaylin asked, without much hope.
"Not entirely absent, no," the fieflord agreed. "It has been decades since I last attended an event like this and never with a... companion." Kaylin flushed and looked away. Phantom hands began stroking her back and slowly melting the tension from her. It had been a long day. Nightshade opened a door and they took their seats at a table already laden with food. Kaylin, not one to turn away from food, dove in. "We can," he eventually continued, watching her, "be grateful that you will not yet be required to eat in public." Kaylin flushed in embarrassment and looked down at her plate. She hated the fact that her lack of manners embarrassed her. Why should she apologize?
"I don't understand why it all matters," she bit it out. "Why does anyone care what fork I use?"
"Manners," Nightshade replied, picking up his glass and swirling it thoughtfully, "are a means of showing respect to the people around you. They are not always practical, but displaying respect to those with power over you inevitably is. In this case, you would be showing me respect." That was enough to make Kaylin pause in her eating.
"Umm..." she said, because she wasn't entirely sure that she respected him, but disrespecting the fieflord was suicidal. Then she frowned at her thoughts. She had spent so long being afraid of him, but... he wasn't the person from her childhood nightmares. His neglect had cost her, but he had never, personally, made any effort to harm her. Had in fact, repeatedly protected her at some cost to himself. He was arrogant and possessive, but you expected that from the Baranni. What exactly was her dislike founded on? "Why didn't you bother looking after your fief?" Kaylin asked quietly, because as dangerously seductive as she found him, his treatment of the fieflings wasn't something she could entirely brush aside.
"Why would I?" He questioned, so casually that fury struck Kaylin hard. She knew better than tell him it was the right thing to do, that letting people die before they had to was cruel. She forced herself to think as much like a Baranni as she could.
"I was born in your fief, Nightshade," she began, anger lacing her words. His eyes had shaded to blue, but he kept his silence. "If you had been a different type of fieflord, I would serve you now. Severn might, too." Given his loyalty to the Human Castelord, she was less certain on that than she would have been a week ago, but the point held. If not Severn, then others like him.
"Oh?" He prompted.
"Do you have any idea - any idea at all - how frightened we were when the marks first grew on my arms?" She lifted her arms as though displaying them, although the sleeves of her dress concealed them. He knew what the cloth hid, regardless. "We were children, Nightshade, even in our own eyes, and we wanted an adult to be in charge. We wanted someone to tell us it would be alright. If you had invested the time and effort into looking after your people - and they are your people, they have no one else - we would have gone to you. We considered sending Severn to work for you, anyway, but you have too many challengers in the wrong part of town."
"How is this different from any other fief, Kaylin?" Memories of fear and hunger and cold stole her breath for a moment, before visions of Tara replaced them.
"It's different from Tiamaris," she replied. "What he's done with the fief? Nightshade, I hate being impressed, but I am. What he's done already shows what no one else has bothered to do. It can't be as easy as he makes it looks, but... Nigthsahde," she whispered, "it's worth it."
"If I were to act as though the people of my fief mattered to me," it was clear from his tone it would only be an act, "it would give my enemies countless weak targets. In order to assert myself, I would be forced to defend them from constant attacks." Kaylin listened to his words, but it was what she felt through his name that caught her attention.
"That's not why," she pointed out, trying to reach for a thought he was keeping just beyond her grasp. When he remained silent, she , unwisely, found other words to fill the gap: words she had been wanting to say since he first marked her, since she had first landed in his lap centuries prior. "You knew ages ago that I would be born in your fief. You knew when you took the fief. Instead of becoming a fieflord who could command my loyalty, you became one who manipulates me into doing things I would have done regardless." His eyes were very, very dark, but she had come to trust that he truly wasn't a threat to her and didn't even try to take back her words. He may not deserve Annarion's censure, but he certainly deserved hers. Some of the anger left her, thinking of his brother. "The Emperor doesn't look after the city because he likes the people," as he had made very, very clear at dinner. "He looks after it because he knows that is the only way the people who will be useful or interesting to him will flourish and come to him. You would have been wise to do the same."
"Would I?" He questioned, coolly. Something in his tone made her still, as though bracing for a verbal impact. "Would I have been wise to disturb the timeline where I knew you survived to adulthood? The timeline where I knew you were born?" Kaylin stilled. "The manipulation of time is done with extreme caution, even by the wise, Kaylin." There was no way, none at all, she deserved to be held accountable for all the suffering of all the people in his fief since he had first claimed it. He rose to his feet and glided over, cupping her marked cheek, as though unaware of her sudden, paralyzingly guilt. Hope watched his approach intently. "You are more valuable to me than all the rest of my 'people,' as you call them."
"I can't-" Kaylin protested and she couldn't, really. She couldn't possibly bear the guilt. Their eyes held.
"It was my decision, Kaylin," Nightshade told her, in what almost seemed like comfort.
"It was because of me," Kaylin protested, wanting to believe his assurances, but knowing she didn't deserve to. It was so much easier to blame him than it was be in any way responsible for the situation in the fief. If she had guarded her thoughts better when they met in the past, he wouldn't have known about her childhood. He might, just might, have taken an interest in the welfare of his people. How many people had warned her?
"There are other factors, of course. As I have told you, I have no taste for children. Had you come to me as one, I would not have marked you. And Kaylin, I want you to be erenne to me." Kaylin thought, if she could have found the words while his thumb so gently stroked her cheek, that he could have marked her once she became an adult, but the thought was lost entirely as his lips descended on hers. She could feel the tears on her lashes, tears she refused to let fall, and hated the comfort of his kiss. Eventually he drew back and the tears finally tumbled down her cheeks. "I am putting laws into place now, for Annarion," he paused momentarily, brushing her tears away, "and for you." Hope, to her surprise, jumped from her shoulder onto the table and curled up there. Kaylin leaned her head against Nightshade's chest accepting that it would have to be enough. She wanted to ask what he would do after the ten years were up, but she didn't want to loose the ground Annarion had gained for the people. Nightshade's hands rose and he began massaging her shoulders before slowly making their way down her back; Kaylin melted into him.
"Are you honestly going to try to teach me to dance tonight?" She eventually mumbled into his chest.
"I am," he replied, pulling away slightly. He gently held her face and she closed her eyes, anticipating his kiss. He traced her lips with his tongue and when she opened her mouth to him, delved in. Without conscious thought, she rose up on her toes, trying to meet him. He shifted his lips to her neck, his hair cascading around them in a silken wave. Kaylin was stunned when he began kissing and sucking his way down her throat. She unconsciously tipped her head to give him better access.
"Nightshade," she moaned. She had never, ever, imagined something could feel so good. Lost in the sensation, she pressed herself against him before fear caught up. She froze. Sensing the change in her mood, he released her and stepped back. She looked for words, but couldn't find any. Eventually, it was Nightshade who found the words.
"How long do you wish to be bound by fear, Kaylin?" He asked, watching her carefully.
"What fear?" Kaylin asked, her voice taut. But she knew where he was going with this. Nightshade raised a brow in reply.
"You fear men-"
"I don't-" Kaylin interrupted. That depend the blue in his eyes, but he continued to speak.
"And the fact that they might desire you. You fear yourself, and the possibility that you might desire them."
"Sex is a tool," Kaylin said flatly, dropping her eyes to the floor. She absolutely did not want to have this conversation with the fieflord.
"Yes," he agreed mildly, "but it is not only that. There would hardly be so many humans if they found intercourse...onerous." Kaylin flushed. "You were meant to enjoy this. Why do you fight yourself?" His voice was almost gentle, and she could feel the weight of his gaze on her face.
"I'm not fighting myself," she told him, memories of Barren floating to the surface.
"You are not only fighting yourself," he corrected, and Kaylin couldn't find it in herself to argue, since it was true. "You have overcome much this past year," he continued, and Kaylin almost looked up at the unexpected praise. "Isn't it time for you to overcome this, as well?" Kaylin wrestled with herself, because she hated being trapped by fear, and Barren was dead. She wasn't a powerless child anymore, she wasn't living in Barren anymore - there was no Barren anymore - and yet the memories wrapped around her like chains.
"...what do you suggest?" She felt his triumph at the question and she might have left then had she not also sensed his pride in her. Startled, she met his gaze and was surprised to see flecks of brown in them. Nightshade's approval was a rare gift; Kaylin hated that it mattered.
"I believe you have found that knowledge alleviates many fears." Thinking of the Tha'alani, Kaylin nodded. "If you are willing, I will remove my clothes and allow you to... explore my body."
"You really don't need to-" She objected, utterly embarrassed.
"No, I do not. You, however, need to learn to dance, and if you do not conquer this fear, you will find that...challenging." When Kaylin stayed silent, he added, "this is something I am choosing to do. You do not need to feel bound by it. I have told you, I will wait."
"...all of your clothes?" Kaylin asked, her throat very dry. The brown gave way to green in his eyes; she had amused him, again.
"Does the thought please you, erenne?" Kaylin flushed and forced her eyes away from his knowing smirk. "Come," he said, getting to his feet and offering her a hand. She wiped her suddenly sweaty hand on her dress before reaching out for him. They walked in silence to her room, and Kaylin fought the impulse to turn and run half a dozen times.
They entered the door, and Nightshade moved further into her room. He glanced at her then began removing his robes. Kaylin lingered by the door, but couldn't take her eyes off him. She had always found the Baranni beautiful - any mortal did - but even amongst the Baranni, Nightshade was striking. Kaylin couldn't say what made him more beautiful than other Baranni; there were no scars, no flaws to his perfection, but that was typical. He set his robes aside, and lay down naked on top of the bed. To her surprise, he used his arms to pillow his head, his hair fanning out around his body. Kaylin wasn't sure how long she stood, her eyes traveling the length of him before he spoke.
"I would be pleased to have you touch me." When she didn't respond, he added, I will not move. Kaylin hesitated, then forced her eyes up to his. Finding them green, she got her feet to move, then stood, hovering at the edge of the bed. She reached out a hand, and told herself it wasn't shaking. Nightshade undoubtedly noticed, but didn't comment. Her hand made contact with smooth, warm flesh. He looked like a statue, like something too perfect to be real, and it always surprised her how warm he was. Soft skin covered hard muscle, and her hand glided over his chest. Kaylin wasn't sure when she sat on the edge of the bed, or when she started exploring with her other hand. She paused when she reached his nipples. She traced one gently with the tip of her finger and watched, entranced, as it began to stiffen.
"Does that feel good?" She asked, finding her voice at last. She couldn't bring herself to meet his eyes, so she kept her eyes focused on his chest.
"Having your hands on me feels good," he assured her quietly. Kaylin forced her gaze up; his eyes were green with a ring of violet. Kaylin swallowed and tried not to think too hard about the violet.
"...your nipples?" She clarified, blushing heavily.
"It all feels nice," he answered gently, "but my nipples are not as...sensitive as your own would be." The blushing got worse, and Kaylin forced her eyes back down. Which was when she realized that he had begun to harden. He wasn't fully hard - that probably would have sent her running to the door, regardless of her intent - but he continued to stiffen under her regard. She hesitated, glancing up the meet his eyes. The violet had spread, but he made no effort to move. She swallowed hard and reached out to touch his cock. It was just a poke, really, but it was the first time she had ever willingly touched a man there, and since he didn't protest, she let her finger slide over it. The skin was even softer and smoother than the rest of his body, although she would have said that was impossible until her hand made contact. It was also longer than she had anticipated, although she had always made an effort to remain ignorant in that regard, even when healing men. She began using her whole hand, rolling the flesh up and down curiously. He grew both longer and harder under her touch. Nightshade made a muted sound, and the trance was broken. Kaylin glanced up to see his eyes entirely violet.
"Umm, I can-" but words failed Kaylin, because she really had no idea what to say. "I can stop-" his body had tensed, but through their link she felt his denial. He added no words to it; he did not plead for her to continue, but after a long moment she went back to her explorations. It wasn't scary, she realized. His cock was both soft and hard, but it was not a weapon, not something she needed to live in fear of. "What..." Kaylin cleared her throat and tried again. "Is there something I can do to make you feel... better?"
"I would appreciate you tightening your grip," he replied, sounding strained. When she glanced up, she met entirely violet eyes. She swallowed hard, but tightened her grip, trusting him to let her know if she hurt him. She felt more than heard him chuckle. "You will not hurt me, Kaylin." Accepting that assurance, she began moving harder and faster until he came, covering both her hand and his stomach in cum. She looked down at her hand having no idea what to do now. "Give me your hand," he instructed. She swallowed, but placed her dirty hand in his. He held her eyes and drew it to his lips, slowly licking it clean. Kaylin felt her body heat with desire.