Premise: 2 years past season 12. Olivia is spiraling out of control and Cragen tells her she needs a break. Time away from SVU so he sends her undercover with Dana again as Persephone. Only things don't exactly go as planned…gonna be a bit dark at times. M for language, content and sexual scenes (later).
Not my usual story! But I am excited for the journey and I hope you trust me! EO is always endgame! :) Might not be as quick updates as usual but I will do my best!
This episode is really to set things up, ch 2 will be Elliot's POV leading up to this point too. And then we'll get into it!
Don't forget to drop a review!
Based on the song "Cold Little Heart" by Michael Kiwanukalyrics at the bottom.
It was one of those days when she already couldn't wait to get to it all over work and crawl back into bed. As she walked into the office, her head was already spinning. She'd barely gotten any sleep last night. She'd left at a normal time which was unusual but the fight she'd had with Brian…that wasn't.
Things had started out okay. Grabbed dinner and rented a movie at her apartment. He was attentive, asking about work, to the outside world it would have seemed that they were happy. But her day had been shit and she hadn't told him why. As much as she tried, she couldn't give herself to Brian in the way he wanted. He had his arm around her, his fingers rubbing her shoulder. Throughout the movie, he'd gotten closer and closure and usually sex was a good distraction but for some reason she didn't want him to touch her.
He moved in closer, about to kiss her neck and she pulled away before he could go any further. She heard him sigh and she ignored it, "I just…want to change."
He looked up at her and for a second she bet he assumed she was going to put on lingerie. But sex with Brian was the last thing on her mind tonight. She didn't want him. Not when she'd spent the day thinking of another man. A man who she'd never had, a man who had abandoned her almost two years ago. A man she would probably never see again.
His hand trailed down her back and it made her feel sick. Why was she like this? Why did she want someone who clearly never wanted her? She wasn't thinking as she walked into her bedroom and changed into whatever her hand landed on first. She just wanted to be comfortable. She didn't even look. As she walked into the kitchen to grab a beer, she heard him growl.
Looking over at him she frowned, "What?"
"Nice shirt." He huffed as he sat on the couch, "Been hiding that one have you?"
She looked down at herself not understanding and then her heart stopped. "Brian…"
Pushing himself off the couch, he walked towards her and tugged on the back of her Navy Blue t-shirt. An NYPD Softball shirt, the name on the back? Stabler. She didn't have to see it to know it was his. It was the only one she had. She wore it from time to time, an old reminder of him. When she really hated herself, she'd throw his gray hoodie over it and those were the nights she cried herself to sleep.
Looking up at him she frowned, "Don't make this into something…it's just an old shirt I had."
"An old shirt of your ex-partner's." He said with a slow nod, his lips pursed, "The guy you can't seem to ever forget…""What the hell are you talking about?" She asked, turning away from him as she grabbed a beer from the fridge."What happened with you two? No one can seem to tell me why he left. You won't talk about it. But…he's still there. He's in your head." He said following her through the kitchen."Brian, you know I haven't seen him in almost two years." She popped the top off her beer, swallowed hard and felt it burn down her throat, "It's just a fucking t-shirt.""It's not though." He said quickly, "You forget that I knew you both way back when…I've always known you two had a thing. That-""You didn't know shit Cassidy." She said with a growl, "Drop this. Right now. I swear to God-""Just because you slept with me back then, I knew…I knew you wanted him." He quickly crowded her space and she pushed him back, "Did you guys fuck? Is that why he left?"
Her elbow came back and shoved hard against his stomach, "Back off Brian…"
"Did his wife find out?" He asked, following her across the kitchen towards the living room, "She make him leave? Choose between her or you? He was always going to pick his wife Olivia. Always-"
Turning around she shoved his chest hard, "You don't know a fucking thing Cassidy!"
"I can't believe this." He said with an angry laugh, "I can't believe you waltzed out here in his shirt and didn't think I would get upset. That-""Brian, I didn't even realize I put it on." She said, throwing her hands up in the air, "It's just a shirt!""But it's a shirt you've had in your closet. Your dresser…that you've been holding onto. Like you've been holding onto him. You are waiting for him to come back." He continued to follow her no matter how much she moved away from him, "He's not coming back.""Stop it." She spat at him quickly, "Brian…I mean it. Stop it.""You stuck around for all those years as his partner expecting what…he'd leave his family? Expecting that he'd divorce her for you?" He yelled."Brian…" She pushed him back, "I'm warning you…"
Brian stood by the end of the couch, "He's not coming back Olivia…"
Before she could stop herself, she threw the full bottle across the living room until it shattered against the wall, "I know! I know that okay! I know!" And then the tears came, the ones she never let anyone else see, "I know…I know he's not. He's not coming back…"
Brian just stood there staring at her, shocked by her outburst, but unsure of what to do. She moved towards the couch, sat down and ran her fingers through her hair, "Olivia…"
She shook her head, "Just go…I know he's not coming back. I know…I don't need you to tell me. I don't need everyone to keep reminding me…he's gone. He just fucking left and I'm still here and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing anymore."
She heard him sigh and he walked towards her, he went to touch her arm, "Li-"
Quickly, she shook off his hand, "Don't. Do not call me that." She sniffled hard and turned away, "Just go Brian…please just go."
She heard him sigh again, heard him start to gather up his stuff. And as he walked towards the door, he turned to her at the last minute, "You were never going to bare your soul to me were you…" She didn't respond and he sighed, "Goodbye Olivia…"
Pushing the thought out of her head, she walked towards her desk, tossed down her bag and sighed. It was then she remembered why she had gone home early yesterday, she had basically been told to go home. Cragen had given her a verbal warning. And when she ignored it, he told her to go home.
Nick sat across from her, quiet. Trying to read her expression. He was a good cop. A good man. She knew that. He was trying. But she never gave him the time of day because he wasn't Elliot. He would never be Elliot. Yesterday she had practically ripped his head off and he didn't deserve it. She should apologize, but it seemed that no matter what she did these days, she couldn't find herself.
She couldn't find Olivia.
Nick smoothed his hands across his desk, Elliot's old desk, "Hey…"
She squeezed the back of her chair and frowned, "Hi…"
Nick leaned forward, staring at her still, it was a slow day and she longed for the hustle and bustle of it all. Wished they had a distraction, "So…how was your night?"
Biting down on her lip, she frowned, "It was…fine."
Nick went to stand up, to say something, his eyes told her he had a warning, "Look, Olivia I just wanted to say-"
"Benson." She jumped, not something she often did but the harshness in Cragen's voice startled her, "My office. Now."
Slowly, she turned away from Nick and walked towards Cragen's office. How many times had she been called to his office? Usually with Elliot in tow? The two of them breaking all the rules but somehow they always figured it out. Somehow they always made it through the other side. They always had each other's backs. And Cragen kept them around.
But now it was just her. Elliot was gone and as everyone kept reminding her, he wasn't coming back. So whatever awaited her on the other side of the door, she had to face this one alone. She was alone again, completely and utterly alone. Just like she knew she would always be.
The door creaked as she pushed it open, the glass rattling in the frame. Cragen was standing behind his desk, his back turned to her. And she knew she had pushed too far yesterday. She hated what she had said. Hated how rude she had been to Nick, how she had almost cost them the investigation. She'd never forgive herself if their victim didn't get the justice she deserved.
Closing her eyes, she remembered every moment even though she wanted to forget.
"Do you enjoy it? You get off on it?" Olivia screamed as she stood over the perp sitting at the table in the dingy interrogation room.
"I don't know what you are talking about." The man said, practically shaking, the metal chair scraping against the concrete floor."Of course you do. You are the one with the stash of porn on your computer. All those young girls…thinking they were talking to someone their age. Trusting you until they sent you compromising pictures of themselves. And you…you disgusting, old, decrepit man who probably can't even get it up-""Detective…" Nick warned from across the room, "Maybe…"
She shot him a look and turned back to the man, "You filthy, useless, poor excuse for a man who takes vulnerable young girls and uses them. You sold those pictures…you made money off of their mistakes. You-"
"I don't know what you are talking about. I swear." He said quickly, "Please, you have the wrong man. I could never-""You could never?" She sneered, "You could never what? Molest those girls? Never sell their naked pictures to more perverted men like you? Touch your daughter late at night-""Now hold on a second!" He screamed, "I have never-""Come on…don't you want the world to know all about your dirty-" Her hand came up and before she could slap it down, someone caught it."Detective!" Nick yelled, tugging her back, "Let's take a break.""Get your hands off of me." She growled, throwing daggers at him as he looked at her, "Don't you ever touch me."
Pushing herself past him, the door opened, "Detective Benson, get out here now."
Olivia looked at her boss and stormed out of the room, "Nick you've been here long enough. It's time you realized that sometimes you have to push the boundaries to get the information they need."
"Hitting the perp, that's not you." Nick yelled after her, "What the hell is your problem? I heard all these stories about the great Olivia Benson and how much I was going to love working with her. And yet-""And yet what?" Olivia asked, whipping around to look at him, "I'm not living up to your fantasy Detective? I'm not what you expected?""I thought I was going to learn something. I thought that you were going to show me how to handle all this crap. But all you do is flip out on perps, yell at me because I'm not-""Because you're not…" She glared at him, "Don't…don't you dare."
Nick glared at her, "Because I'm not Stabler…"
Her back went rigid and she felt every bone in her body, every ache and pain coming to the surface, all her anger, "Fuck you Nick."
"Olivia." Cragen warned, "That's enough…you need to take a walk.""You have never, ever given me a chance because you are still waiting for him to walk in that door and come back." He yelled at her."I'm not waiting for anyone." She said turning her back to him, "I just wish I had a partner who knew what the fuck they were doing. A partner who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty in order to get justice."
She was halfway to the door when he spoke again, "He's not coming back Olivia."
She stopped, felt Cragen's eyes on her, felt Nick's eyes on her. The squad room was quiet and she knew everyone could hear them yelling. Everyone was thinking the same thing. Poor Olivia. She needs to let him go. And God she hated it here. Hated all of them. But mostly she hated Elliot Fucking Stabler.
"Well fuck him then." She said under her breath, and turned to look at Nick, "And fuck you too.""Go home Olivia." Cragen said sternly, she looked at him, wide eyed, but his voice told her that he had had enough and he meant it, "Now."
Swallowing hard, she walked into the squad room, and didn't make eye contact with anyone before grabbing her belongings and leaving without turning back. God she needed to snap out of it…but she couldn't. And she was afraid she never would.
Standing back, she saw her boss had turned to look at her. She had been expecting to see anger after her outburst yesterday. Instead, she saw sadness on his face. Disappointment, and that, felt worse.
Wiping a hand over his face, he pointed towards the chair in front of his desk, "Sit." She didn't move and he gave her a stern look, "Sit Olivia."
Slowly, she moved forward and sat down in the chair, feeling like it could swallow her whole. She felt shame radiating off of her body, sadness, anger, fear. She'd always felt like she belonged here at SVU, like she was born to be here. Maybe the way she'd come into this world had led her here. Others didn't understand why she stayed, and yeah sometimes it was hard as all hell. But she felt like she could handle it, at least when he was beside her. Now, now she felt like she was drowning.
Most of her life she'd been able to hide that from the outside world. But Elliot had always seen through her walls. Elliot had called her out on her bullshit. She hated it, and yet…it also felt comforting to know that someone, someone knew her better than she knew herself. Looking down at her hands in her lap, she peered up at him and tried to speak, "Look, Captain I-"
"Don't talk." He said quickly, and it was then she knew she had gone way too far once and for all, and there was no one around to take the fall for her.
Sitting up a little taller she frowned, biting her lip, "Okay…"
Cragen sighed and moved to sit down on the edge of his desk, "I've tried to be patient…give you the time you need to deal with…" His voice trailed off because he knew better than to say his name, "Olivia…I think you need to take a step back."
Her heart started pounding harder, "What?"
He frowned sadly, "You know that I've gone to bat for you…many times." He frowned and she squirmed in her seat, "I've given you many chances…and I've tried Olvia. I've tried to support you but you aren't yourself anymore…"
"Captain." She moved towards the edge of her seat, "Look…I know yesterday I crossed some lines but I think-"
He put his hand up, "It's been going on for months." He sighed and shook his head, "It's been going on since…" Her cheeks flushed and he sighed, "I just think it would be best if you take a step back…and figure out if this is what you still want to do."
"So you're firing me?" She asked quickly, "You're letting me go? Because I had a fight with Nick?"
He shook his head adamantly, "I'm not firing you…I'm asking you to do some thinking. And I think the best way to do that would be to…leave the city for a bit."
"I can't believe this." She whispered under her breath, "I can't believe this…"
She heard him sigh heavily, "Olivia, this isn't easy for me. I've been avoiding this but lately you haven't given me any other options. You're out of control. Sometimes I swear it's like you're morphing into…"
Elliot.
He wouldn't say the name but she knew. Her temper, it was a problem, just like his had always been. But she'd been able to tamper his, been able to soften him. She was the thing that pulled him back to reality, or she had been. But she hadn't been able to save him this last time, he'd run like hell and maybe it was because…
No. She wouldn't think about that. Couldn't think about that. Because when she did she felt so many different things, past rage, past sadness, pain, nothing but deep guttural pain and she refused to give in. Not here. "I can't believe this…" She muttered again.
Cragen looked out the window of his office and saw Fin and John, they were watching carefully. He'd already given them the heads up, felt it was only right. He didn't want to do this but he didn't see any other choice. He was afraid if she'd stay she'd lose herself more and her career. He was trying to save her. He hadn't been able to save Elliot…but maybe just maybe he could save her.
Leaning forward slightly he whispered, "Dana called…she has a case that she needs some help with. I think…it would be good. You could get out of here for a while. Get your head back in the game." She was shaking her head, "You're drowning here Olivia and I don't know what else to do to help you…"
"I don't want help. I don't need help." She growled, "I just want to be left alone. Why can't you all mind your business?"
"Because we don't like watching you go down this road." He whispered, "It's not going to help and I know that you're upset but we care about you too." She still didn't move, he sighed again, "Whatever you're doing right now…it's not going to bring him back Olivia. He's not…"
"I know." She whispered, not wanting him to finish the sentence, she couldn't hear it again, "I know…"
He reached behind him on the desk, picked up a file and said, "Take the case. Go away for a bit…see if it helps." Still she didn't move, "I'm not firing you…I don't want to lose you. But this…whatever this is that you're doing…it's not working. I can only protect you for so long."
She knew he was right. She hated to admit it, but he was. Reaching forward, she took the file and frowned, "Oregon again?"
He nodded, "She's up and down the West Coast. Washington, Oregon, California…sometimes in Canada too. Sex traficking and drug trade…she thought you might be a good fit." She still looked skeptical, "She calls every few months to see if you've gotten bored yet and want a change. She's been trying to snag you from my team for years. And while I'm reluctant to let you go…"
Tears burned in her eyes, "You think I need a change of pace…"
"I think you need to clear your head." He whispered, she looked up at him and he shrugged, "I'm not going to force you to go Olivia. I can't do that. But I am telling you not only as your boss…but as someone who cares about your well being that this path you're on isn't going to lead anywhere good. I'd hate to see you throw everything away over…"
Swallowing hard she flipped open the file, "When would I leave?"
"Tonight." He whispered, "John and Fin offered to drive you…but remember you can say no."
Glancing behind her she saw the squad room, the usual buzz and chaos. She saw her friends trying to pretend they weren't watching but they were. Her eyes landed on her desk, on Elliot's desk…although now it was Nick's. He wasn't coming back. And maybe…if she left…neither would she.
Clearing her throat, she closed the file and nodded, "I'll take it."
Cragen sighed, slightly relieved but she could also sense the worry in him still, "Please be careful…"
She frowned and stood up slowly, "I'm a good cop Cap. I don't need Stabler or anyone else to protect me. I can take care of myself."
"I know." He said with a nod, "You're one of the best cops I've ever had on my team. In fact…if you ask me…you were better than Stabler." She froze and he whispered, "But you were the best together…I won't deny that. And I'm sorry…I'm sorry he did what he did but it's been almost two years. It's time to let go…"
Time to let go. How do you let go though when it's the only thing you can think about? When that person is so ingrained in every part of your memory that they are the first thing you think about when you wake up, and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep? Time away wasn't going to make her forget, she knew that to be true. But maybe, just maybe it would let her heal enough to fix whatever this was that she was doing. Maybe it would keep her from losing all her friends that she had left.
Tugging on her shirt she looked right at her boss, "I guess I have some packing to do."
Cragen nodded slowly, "I guess so. Flight leaves at 6 at JFK."
There was so much she wanted to say, thank you, I'm sorry, please forgive me. But just like Elliot, those words, those things that needed to be said didn't seem to be able to come to fruition. So she turned, walked towards the door but he called out to her and she stopped short, her hand on the door knob, "I mean it Benson…please take care of yourself. Elliot wasn't the only one who cared…"
She swallowed the lump in her throat and whispered under her breath, but he heard her, "Elliot never cared. If he did…he wouldn't have left the way he did."
"Or maybe…" He whispered as she had one foot out the door, "He did it because he cared too much."
Her breath caught in her throat but she didn't dare turn around to look at him. Instead, she walked straight to her desk, eyes down because once again she knew everyone was staring at her. She grabbed her bag, glanced at Nick and he just watched her, a sad look on her face, "Nick…"
He frowned, "Be safe Benson…"
She pulled at her shirt anxiously and sighed, "Maybe if I uh…get my shit together, we could try again?"
Slowly, he stood up and walked towards her, a look of genuine hope on his face, "I'd like that."
Her words once again got stuck in her throat and she nodded slowly before turning towards Fin and John. "We'll pick you up at 4:30." John said.
She nodded slowly, wanting to get out of there as fast as she possibly could because she knew she was going to cry. Something in the back of her mind told her she might not be back. And it felt like she was losing herself, losing him all over again. The last connection she had. Pressing her bag to her shoulder, she walked towards the elevator and climbed in, grateful that she had a moment alone.
Pressing her head into the back wall she bit down hard on her lip, so hard she could taste blood, "Good going Benson…now you're really fucked."
By the time they pulled up at the airport, Olivia was ready to get on the plane and not look back. John was talking her ear off. She knew he meant well. Knew he was trying to distract her, make her laugh, make her smile but it felt useless. She couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled. Genuinely smiled. Fin was quieter, and she knew he wasn't thrilled about this plan, but he'd support her. He'd always support her, and for that she was grateful.
After she'd checked her bags, she turned to the both of them. She'd never been good at goodbyes. Maybe that's why Elliot hadn't given her one. Clearing her throat, she looked first at John, "Try not to stress out Fin too much, okay?"
John laughed nervously, "He should be used to my rants by now…it's been long enough."
Fin rolled his eyes playfully, "No one could ever get used to you Munch. Trust me on that…"
"Please…she's gonna miss me most." John said with a snort, "We all know that. I'm her favorite. Always have been. Isn't that right Olivia?"
The three of them awkwardly stood there because they knew the answer, Elliot had been her favorite. But, she couldn't say it. Instead, she smiled and nodded her head slowly, "Yeah John…you're my favorite. Always were."
"See?" He said with a slow smile, "I always knew it." Then with a heavy sigh, he reached out, pulling her into his arms before answering honestly, "And you were always mine…"
Her eyes burned with tears and she pressed her cheek against his shoulder, "John…"
He kissed her temple and gave her a squeeze, "Be safe…come back when you're ready. And if you need us…we're only a plane ride away."
Wiping at her tears, she stepped back and nodded slowly, "Yeah. Yeah…I know."
John looked at Fin and knowing his partner as well as he did, he knew he needed a moment alone with their friend. He gave Olivia's arm a squeeze again and whispered, "I'm gonna check on the car…I feel like you double parked."
Fin rolled his eyes but smiled, "You do that…"
"Bye Liv." He said with a nod, "Give 'em hell."
She waved nervously and watched as he stepped back leaving her alone with Fin. She gripped the strap of her carry on and looked at him, "So…think you can refrain from killing him for a bit? I'd hate to come back and find you in jail for murder…"
"Are you coming back?" He asked, and her breath caught in her throat, "Are you actually coming back or are you taking off for good too?"
Squeezing her eyes shut tight she whispered, "That's not fair…I didn't ask for this."
"No. You didn't." He whispered, "But it was a serious question…are you going to come back?"
She shifted her weight from foot to foot and shrugged nervously, "I don't know that I can give you an honest answer right now…I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know who I am anymore Fin…I'm lucky Cragen didn't fire me. He should have. I've been…awful. To all of you. Especially Nick. Please…please tell him I'm so sorry. He deserves so much better…"
Walking over to her, he pulled her into his arms, "And you deserved better too Liv…remember that."
She held on tight, suddenly afraid to let go, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Fin…"
He kissed the side of her face, squeezed tight and then pulled back, "You be safe…and you come back Liv. Come home…"
Licking her lips she whispered nervously, "I'm gonna do my best, okay?" He just stared at her and she frowned, "It's all I can offer you right now…"
He sighed and dropped his hand from her arm, "I guess then that's all I can expect right now." He stood up tall and nodded towards her, "Show them how we do it out here…show them how strong you are Benson. And never forget that you aren't as alone as you think…"
Bending down, she placed her bag over her shoulder and sighed, "I'll call if I can."
He nodded, "You better…" He motioned towards security, "Now get out of here…"
She smiled and turned around, "Bye Fin…"
"Not bye." He said with a smirk, "Just see you in awhile…"
She watched him turn and walk towards the exit, meeting John on the sidewalk. They both watched her through the window and slowly she walked towards the TSA agent. Handing over her information, she went through the motions, still in disbelief that she was even here. Everything had happened so fast, it was all a blur. Then again, everything since that day in the squad room with Jenna had been a blur. Somedays it seemed like it was yesterday, and other times it felt like it had been years since she'd seen him last.
When she boarded the plane, she looked out at New York City, the only place she'd ever called home and she wondered not for the first time…where was he now? Had he stayed? She'd driven by his house in Queens, seen Kathy and the kids but not him. But after a few months, she'd stopped and hadn't heard from him or his wife since. So where was Elliot Stabler now?
Sighing, she closed her eyes and decided that on this new adventure, if that's what you could call it, she didn't want to remember Elliot Stabler. Didn't want to even acknowledge his existence. Wherever she was going, no one knew her other than Dana. She didn't need to explain who she was, what her past was, how she'd fall in love with her partner when she wasn't supposed to and he had abandoned her without a thought. She could be someone else, and nothing had ever sounded so…exciting. So freeing. And that felt damn fucking good. Maybe this wasn't the worst thing to happen to her. Maybe it was exactly what she needed…a new perspective. A fresh start.
A way forward without looking back.
Or so she thought…
She slept most of the flight and was just barely going through the motions when she landed. Standing in the hotel room, she waited and soon Dana walked in, "There she is."
Olivia stood up and walked towards her, offering her a hug, "Hi Dana."
"I'm damn glad you're here." She said with a sigh, "We need someone like you. Someone who doesn't give up."
Give up. That's all she'd like to do right now. And in a way she felt like she had given up on everything lately. Going through the bag on the bed, she put the clothes she was allowed to bring with her to mix with her undercover outfits. It was then she realized she packed that stupid fucking Stabler softball shirt. She hated herself but she picked it up, tossed it in the bag and decided to worry about it later.
"So…my name is Persephone again?" Olivia asked, Dana nodded, "But this is a bit different from the last assignment."
Dana laughed, "You ain't kidding. We've been working this drug ring, they recruit girls, lure them in with the money and the glitz and glamor of it all. Then they use the girls to traffic the drugs…pimp them out to their friends. Our end is trying to save the girls, the Organized Crime Unit is trying to hone in on the drugs. We're working together."
Olivia nodded "And am I one of these girls they are recruiting?"
"Something like that." She said with a nod, "They think you're the daughter of a high profile drug lord that could help push their sales up higher. Reach a broader audience into Canada. Globally."
Olivia snorted, "Sounds great."
"Look…I'm not going to be in there with you. But I've got eyes in the crew and people I trust in the OC unit." She turned behind her, "This is Wes. He'll keep an eye on you for me, report back to me when he can."
Olivia looked at Wes, "I don't need someone looking out for me. I can take care of myself."
Dana smirked, "Cragen did warn me that you were…what did he say…more stubborn than usual?"
Olivia sighed and looked at Wes, "I'm sorry. It's nice to meet you Wes…"
Wes reached a hand out, "Nice to meet you too Persephone. You may not need me…but I'm around if you decide you do. I'll never be far."
Olivia nodded, "Good to know." She turned back to Dana, "When do I leave?"
"Now." Dana said with a smile, "You ready?"
Olivia laughed, "Ready as I'll ever be…"
"Great." She handed her a radio, let her set it up and then turned towards Wes, "We'll have a radio on you tonight. But after that…you'll be on your own. They aren't very trustworthy. Okay?"
Olivia nodded and hooked up her radio, "Sure."
"Let's go." Dana said, pointing towards the door.
As they walked, Olivia wondered what lay ahead of her. What was this going to end up being like, was she in over her head? Never in her wildest dreams would she have been prepared for what was about to happen…
The thing she hated most about undercover stints was the ridiculous outfits she had to put up with. The dress she was wearing was tight, very tight, felt it clinging to her curves. All eyes were on her as she walked in with Wes and she knew it. Her chunky heels pounding on the wood floor of this dingy bar.
Wes ushered her forward, "Let me introduce you to some people. Then I have to check some things out…but I'll be here all night." He turned towards her, "They may insist that you leave with someone…" Olivia eyed him carefully, "Find me."
She didn't know this man but she was supposed to trust him, "Uh…okay?"
He pointed towards the back wall, "Come with me."
A very tall man with jet black greasy hair turned to look at them, "Wes! My man! Where you been? We started hours ago!"
Wes reached out to shake his hand, "I was…looking for some new friends."
The man turned to look beside Wes, his eyes dropping to the floor, trailing up Olivia's legs, he licked his lips and let his eyes linger on her breasts, "Well, welcome new friend…" He stuck his hand and she held out hers, lifting it, she knew he was going to kiss it before he did and she had to hold her breath, "You are…delicious."
Olivia tried to smile, "Well thank you…"
"Eddie, come here." The man called, "You gotta meet this one…maybe she'll be the one that finally tickles your fancy."
Olivia was still staring at this disgusting man, clearly the ring leader and she didn't notice the man walking towards her. But he made a strange noise and she turned to look at him. Her breath caught in her throat as soon as her brown eyes met his blue. He looked older, lines shown on his face, his hair graying, especially in the goatee she'd never seen him sport. There was no mistaking who he was, but of course he held out his hand and said, "Name's Eddie…"
She prayed her hand wasn't shaking as she lifted it, before sliding it into his. How the hell was this happening? She stood up straighter, refusing to let him win. "Persephone." She said in a strong, confident voice, "Persephone James."
He dropped her hand, but lifted a toothpick, sticking it between his teeth. His eyes were still stuck on her, shock evident on his face still but she was the only one that seemed to notice. Then again, she knew him better than anyone here, or at least she did, once. "Nice to meet you Persephone…" He shifted his weight and cocked his head towards the mostly empty bar, "Can I buy you a drink?"
Narrowing her eyes at him, she knew what he wanted. To get her alone, to ask the questions he was holding in. But she wasn't going to make this easy. As far as she was concerned, as far as everyone else around her knew, he was Eddie. Not Elliot and that's how he was going to stay. Shaking her head she smiled politely, "No thank you."
His eyes grew darker and she knew he had surprised him, but the tall man beside him started to laugh, "Ohhhhh you finally found one that's not interested Ashes. What's that feel like?" Wrapping his arm around her he pulled her against his side, "Come on sweetie, let Daddy buy you a drink instead." Olivia looked up at him, surprised by the name and he winked, in a way that made her shiver, "It's what all the girls call me. You'll see…" He cocked his head to the side, "So can I buy you a drunk baby?"
Glancing behind her, she saw Elliot tense, she could tell he didn't want her going anywhere with this man. But the words slipped from her lips before she had time to process them, "Yes please Daddy."
He smiled, leaned in and pressed his lips to her cheek making her freeze as they walked, "Oh you're gonna be a fun one…"
As she walked with him, she felt Elliot's eyes on the back of her head and all she could think was…what the hell have I gotten myself into?
Did you ever want it?
Did you want it bad?
Oh my, it tears me apart
Did you ever fight it?
All of the pain
So much pride
Running through my veins
Bleeding, I'm bleeding!
My cold little heart
Oh I, I can't stand myself
And I know in my heart
In this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
Did you ever notice
I've been ashamed?
All my life
I've been playing games
We can try to hide it
It's all the same
I've been losing you
One day at a time
Bleeding, I'm bleeding!
My cold little heart
Oh I, I can't stand myself
And I know in my heart
In this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In my heart, in this cold heart
I can live or I can die
I believe if I just try
You believe in you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
In you and I
Maybe this time I can be strong
But since I know who I am
I'm probably wrong
Maybe this time I can go far
Thinking about where I've been
Ain't helping me start