*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter they were greatly appreciated thank-you all so much*
THREE YEARS EARLIER:
Tears burned my eyes as I push through the stomach pains I am feeling. He stands down by the bottom of my anatomy, I'm half naked and I have tremendous pain in my stomach. I feel like I'm getting my period but stronger cramps that last minutes at a time. I scream through the pain. He tells me to shut up and to stop screaming. He tells me to keep pushing. I push through more pain and I feel my sex tearing. It burns and I cry out through the pain as my legs are being forced apart. I just want to hold them closed, not let them open but he pries them open expanding my sex as the child I created makes its way into the world. I push and scream the baby out. "Finally," says the baby's father. "I didn't think this little bastard would ever get here," he says as he cleans the baby off. I can't see much of the baby as he wraps it up in a blanket after cutting the umbilical cord off.
Childbirth wasn't all that I ever imagined it to be. I had dreams before of being married to a man that I loved standing by my side as I brought his child into the world. I never wanted to bring a child into this environment, in my life but I love it nonetheless. "Can I see the baby?" I ask as he is on the cellphone talking to someone describing our child. He shoots me a glare and continues talking. "Please, Kris let me see the baby. I want to hold the baby. Please it is my child," I beg him and as irritated as he became at my constant plea he hung up the phone and walked over to me with our child in his arms.
"Take the little Bastard," he says as he hands the baby to me. "It's a boy," he says with haste. "You have a few minutes then he is gone."
"What do you mean gone?" I ask as I take my son into my arms.
"I mean he is gone. I have a nice man that is willing to buy him. He offered a good price and since you got pregnant you haven't been able to pay my debts. You haven't been able to work so this is the only way I can make up for the money you lost."
"Kris, please no," I say as I look down at my son. He is absolutely breathtaking. He steals the breath from my chest as I look at him. He is absolutely perfect. I smile down at him with tears in my eyes. He's chubby and healthy. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I run my hand through his thick black hair that covers his head. It's like I am looking at a baby picture of myself. He is the spitting image of me and has nothing of Kris in him. I'm secretly grateful. "Jonah," I say with a smile.
"Jonah?" he asks impatiently.
"That's his name, Jonah," I say with a smile. "Hello, Jonah. I'm your mommy. You have no idea how much I love you. I have been waiting to meet you," I say with a smile. "I love you so much." I kiss his furrowed brow and smile as he makes a little grunting noise in his sleep. I always wanted to name my son Jonah after one of my favorite Bible stories of all time; Jonah and the Whale. Jonah was swallowed up by a whale because he chose to disobey God and God had him swallowed by a whale but he didn't die. He stayed in the whale's stomach for 3 days and prayed to God to save him and thanked God for rescuing him. On the third day he was spit up onto dry land and went on to do the work God had planned for him to do. I have always loved the name. "Jonah Michael," I say with a smile as I play with his thick hair. I am in love with my son. "I made this for you," I say with a smile as I play with his blanket that is wrapped around him. I don't get much bonding time with him before Kris takes him from me.
"Say goodbye, Jordyn, he's gone now," he yelled as Jonah cried in his arms. I tried to get out of bed to go after him as he made his way to the staircase but I couldn't. I was trapped, strapped to the bed. I tried to fight myself free, break the ties and untie the rope but I couldn't. My ankles chaffed and burned from the rope as I tried to pull against my restraints. I cried out, tried to be stronger to save my son but it was too late. He was gone when Kris came back to the basement. "I want my son," I demand through my tears. My heart feels like it has been ripped from my chest. Tears stain my face, my throat hurts from my cries and screams. "I want my son."
"He's gone, Jordyn and you're never going to see him again."
"You can't do that," I say. "He is MY child."
"He is MY child. I make the rules around here Jordyn. You can't make money if you're playing mommy. I need my money and if you aren't making money you're a waste to me. You're my biggest asset I have, you make more money than any of the other girls. You're the favorite."
"Because you made me the favorite," I cry. "Please, Kris, just let me have my son back."
"No, you'll heal up in a couple weeks, you'll be back out on the streets making my money, paying my debts and delivering my drugs. You're not good enough to be a mother. The bastard is better off without his drug addicted slut of a mom. It's your fault we ended up in that position. You should know when your period is coming and when it's not."
"It was a mistake," I say. "I miscalculated."
"It was a stupid mistake that cost me money and you're going to make up and pay me back for every penny I lost. And you start in 2 weeks," he says. "Forget that bastard, Jordyn," he says as I bawl, "because you're never going to see him again and the next time you get pregnant," he warns. "I will terminate it myself. Get some rest you're going to need it," he says before he leaves me cold, half naked, restrained and bleeding on the bed. I bury my head in my hands and cry harder. I plan to never see my son again, never hold him in my arms, read him bedtime stories, tuck him into bed at night, teach him how to ride a bike. I know I'll never have that life, the life I always dreamed of.
PRESENT DAY:
"Mama!" yells Jonah snapping me out of thought as I am helping him get dressed for his party. "Today is my birthday!" he says with excitement and a big smile on his face.
"It sure is," I say with a smile. "Happy Birthday, Jonah!" It's bittersweet to celebrate his birthday because it brings back the memories of a time when I thought I would never see him again, the time I thought I would never hear him call me Mama or give me his hugs. I think about what life could have been without him and where I would be. I would probably be dead now if it wasn't for him. He is my entire world.
I stare at him and think of that little baby I held three years ago. I still see that perfect little face. His dark brown eyes meeting mine, his head full of curly dark brown hair that falls just above his shoulders. He is the spitting image of me my baby boy turned into a sweet, loving and caring boy nothing like Kris. He was going to preschool in the fall. I wasn't ready for my baby boy to grow up not yet but I love the fact that with God I am able to do so because there was a time I didn't think I would have these moments. "What, Mama?" he asked putting his hands out to the side.
"Nothing," I say with tears in my eyes. "You're so handsome you know that?"
"Yeah," he says with a smile before I scoop him up in my arms and give him a thousand kisses as he laughs and I tickle him to make him laugh more. I give him more kisses as he squirms in my arms. "I love you, Mama," he says through his laughter.
"I love you too, Jonah," I say with a smile as I give him a tight hug as I feel his little arms wrap around me. I give him a kiss on his cheek.
"There you are," I smile as I recognize the voice. "I've been looking all over the place for the birthday boy!" says Seth with a smile as his frame fills the doorway. Jonah and I smile as we look over at him.
"Daddy!" yells Jonah as he jumps out of my arms and runs over to Seth. Seth scoops him up into his arms and gives him a hug. The smile on Jonah's face lights up the entire room.
"Are you ready to party Ninja Turtle style?" asks Seth with a smile as he wears a Ninja turtle shirt with his hair pulled into a low ponytail and a pair of skinny jeans.
"Yes!" he answers. "I have Ninja Turtles on my shirt," he says pointing it out to Seth as I stand up.
"What? No Way!" says Seth as he lifts his free hand in the air before dropping it down. "We're twins today," he says giving Jonah a high five.
"Twins," says Jonah with a smile.
"I see that," I say as I make my way over to my two favorite boys. It has been about a month that Seth and I have been together. Things have been going great and we have been spending more time together enjoying some time alone to go out on a date, watch movies or going to wrestling shows but we also enjoy spending time together with Jonah taking him out for ice-cream, to the playground, Chuck E Cheese and wherever we think he wants to go but we still haven't told anyone we have a relationship. I prefer to keep it that way for a while because I don't have anyone in my business or trying to tell me what to do. The same goes for Seth. "Hey, Baby," I say with a soft smile.
"Hey, Beautiful," he says before giving me a soft kiss on the lips before Jonah separates us making us both laugh. "Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yeah, I'm good," I say, "did you pick up the cake?"
"Of course," he says with a smile. "It's in the kitchen."
"Thanks," I say with a smile before we make our way down stairs to see Jonah's cake.
"You're welcome," he says as he takes my hand into his as we make our way to the kitchen. "I got him a present. It's outside."
"Okay," I say. "We'll check it out but I want to see this cake first," I say.
"You did a great job decorating," he says as we reach the kitchen. "Everything looks nice."
"Only the best for my baby boy," I say with a smile. I walk over to the counter where there is a box sitting and open the lid to the box exposing a green iced cake with ninja turtle action figures on it that says Happy Birthday Jonah on it. "I love it. It's perfect what do you think Jonah?"
"It's cool!" he says with a smile.
"You like that?"
"Yes, Mama," he says with a smile. "I love cake." Seth and I both let out a little laugh. "I have my present?" he asks Seth.
"Of course," he says with a smile. "Let's go see what I got you."
We make our way outside to the driveway for Seth to give Jonah his present. Jonah walks in front of us as we hold hands. Jonah stops in his tracks when he sees the Black escalade power wheels sitting in the driveway next to Seth's car. "Is that mine?" he asks looking up at him.
"It sure is, Buddy," says Seth with a smile. "Happy Birthday."
"Thank-you," he says as he runs to the small car.
"Seth, you didn't have to do that you know that right?"
"I know but I wanted to. I know how much he loves cars so I figured he would love his own little car to drive around. I had one when I was little. It was one of my favorite toys. He likes it," he says as Jonah gets into the car.
"I would say so. Thank-you."
He gives me a soft deep kiss on the lips before he pulls himself away. "You don't have to thank me. I love Jonah. Like you said he deserves the best. Let me help you out, Buddy," he says before going to him. I stand and watch him show Jonah how to work his new toy before I excuse myself to go order the pizzas for the party, to finish cutting up vegetables and fruits as well as cold cuts.
It wasn't long after Seth returned with the pizzas that all the guests started to arrive. We didn't invite many people just Roman and Tayla, my brother Ben, his wife and their kids, a couple kids that Jonah knows from daycare and of course one of Seth's other best friends Dean. The adults gathered around on the back patio while the kids played in the yard on the swing set that I bought Jonah last year for Christmas and jumped on the trampoline. Jonah was having a blast with all of his friends and I loved seeing him so happy. He was having fun running and jumping. Seth and I gather everyone around to allow the kids to hit a piñata to get candy to take home and we follow that up by allowing Jonah to open his presents.
After Jonah opens his presents Seth and I go into the kitchen to get his cake ready for the guests. He hands me a number 3 candle to put into the cake. I stand and look at it thinking about 3 years ago, how rough it was then and how blessed I am now. Tears fill my eyes as I look at the cake. Seth comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist resting his chin on my shoulder. "What's the matter, Baby?" he asks before kissing my neck softly.
"Nothing," I say. "I'm all right." I say wiping away my tears. "I'm fine."
"J, just stop," he says burying his head into the nook of my neck and kissing it softly making me smile through my tears. "Tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing."
"You don't just start crying for no reason. Tell me what's up," he says turning me pointing to one of the stools at the island. I take a seat as he sits next to me. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," I say playing with my fingers. He reaches over and takes my hand into his to stop my fidgeting.
"J," he says looking at me with his beautiful dark brown eyes. "You know you can tell me anything. I'm not here to judge you. What's up? Why are you crying?"
I let out a deep breath and say, "it's just a tough day for me, Jonah's birthday and all."
"Because he's growing up?"
"It's just a bittersweet day today. The day he was born was a rough day for me but to see him turn another year older makes it a much better day and a blessed day. I'm fine, Seth. I promise. It's just I'm really emotional about this whole birthday thing. He's three! He's going to preschool this August and he isn't a baby anymore," I say with a soft smile. "But I am excited to see who he becomes. I love that kid."
"I know you do," he says stroking my thumb with his. "He's growing up it's tough. I understand," he says. "Are you sure that's all that is going on?"
"Yes and I'm just thinking. It happens sometimes. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."
"I was just worried about you," he says moving closer to me and cupping my face in his hands wiping what was left of my tears away. "I don't want to see you cry."
"I'm sorry," I say with a soft smile.
"And you know that you can tell me anything. I want you to know that."
"I know," I say. "You're a great guy, Seth. Thank-you for everything; for the party, the car and just being awesome to Jonah, I'm sorry he calls you Daddy though. I have no idea where that came from."
Brushing a piece of hair out my face and cupping my chin, he smiles and says, "stop thanking me. You don't have to thank me. I care a lot about you and a lot about Jonah. I want to make this work Jordyn. I know it has only been a month but I want to make this work. I want to make us work. I'm not saying I'm trying to buy your affection or Jonah's I just want to help take care of you, help you out as much as I can. Jordyn, I want nothing more than to see you happy. It means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me. I know it's early but I feel like you could be the one. I think that one day you will be my wife," he says making more tears form in my eyes. "Why are you crying again?"
"Because you're sweet," I say with a soft smile as he wipes my tears away.
"And I know it's a bold statement and it may be soon but I have been around for a couple years, most of Jonah's life whether he was with Tayla and Ro or with you but I have been a part of his life since he was practically a baby. I love the kid. He's a great kid and you're doing a great job with him. I know his dad isn't in the picture anymore right?"
"Right," I say, "and he never will be."
"I have been thinking, Jordyn. If you and I were to break up I don't want to not be a part of Jonah's life. I truly and honestly feel like he could be my son. I don't care that he calls me daddy. It doesn't bother me at all because that's pretty much what I have been most of his life even if you and I weren't together I still spent time with him. If you and I break up which I don't plan to do but if it were to happen I don't want to lose Jonah, I want to be a part of his life forever," he says.
"What are you saying?" I ask him.
"I'm saying I want to adopt him, make him my son legally so I can take on financial responsibility, medical responsibility and most importantly be the dad he has known most of his life. I want to adopt him, Jordynn."
"Seth," I say as I am filled with shock. I don't even know what to say. I'm not against the idea. He is not wrong. He has been the stable father figure in Jonah's life the last couple years and Jonah likes him. Jonah wouldn't think any different, Seth is like a dad to him and he does call him daddy. "Seth," I say again. "I don't know what to say."
"Jordyn, it means a lot to me. I really want to do this, make it official make it legal that way if anything happens to you I can take on responsibility. Jordyn, I love Jonah. Please let me do this."
"I mean if this is something you really want to do I'm sure we can do this. I think you have been the best father to Jonah and I think if you want to make it official then we should make it official. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"I never wanted anything more," he says with a smile. "Other than you."
"I love you," I say surprising myself, tears in my eyes.
He lets out a soft laugh and says, "I love you too, come here." Pulling me closer to him he wraps his arms around me as I rest my arms on his shoulders. He smiled as he leaned down and kissed my lips softly sealing his mouth over mine, his tongue licking my lips causing me to part my lips and his tongue slides into my mouth, licking and stroking my tongue with his. His hand pushing me closer to him as I play with his ponytail, his soft deep strokes in my mouth left me wanting and needing more of him, his hand caressing my back as we shared the heated passionate kiss in my grandma's kitchen and I didn't care who saw. This man was something special, something I always dreamed of.
"What is going on in here?" asks Tayla with a smile as she stops to see us making out in the kitchen. Seth and I pull away from each other. I am left breathless and wipe my lips nervously before I bite them. "Well," she says with a smile.
"We're together," answers Seth as he wraps his arm around my waist. "We're dating in a relationship," he says.
"It is about time," she says with a smile. "Congratulations."
"What's congratulations?" asks Roman.
"Seth and Jordyn are together, they're in a relationship."
"What?" he asks.
"Yeah, Roman," I say, "we're dating. He's my boyfriend."
"I just came in here to see if you need anything."
"I think they are all right," says Tayla with a smile. "They'll be back out shortly," she says before she winks at us as they walk out of the kitchen to give us our privacy.
"You know he's upset right?" I ask.
"You know I don't care right?" he asks making me smile.
"I didn't think you did," I say with a smile before he kisses me again.
*A/N: What did you think of the day Jonah was born? Do you think that mentally screwed Jordyn up more than she already was? What did you think of what Jonah's father did to him? What did you think of Seth buying Jonah that little car? Is he doing too much? Why wouldn't Jordyn tell Seth why she was crying? Why do you think she was crying? What did you think of Seth's idea to adopt Jonah? What about Roman do you think he is upset over their relationship? Please review and thank-you for reading.