"You need to look into Astoria," Pansy said. "Or I'll do it myself."
Having stalked to Harry's desk, she was now looming over him with her arms crossed over her chest. For someone just over five feet tall, she had an impressive loom.
"No!" Harry jerked his head from the picture of Daphne and the turbaned lady he was studying. He could just imagine Pansy's methods when it came to Astoria. Probably transfigure her into a paperweight to 'keep out of trouble' for the whole time of the investigation. And then some. "I have a couple of ideas."
With a last look at the photo, he pinned it to the half-finished board together with other notes and photos from the case. He'd seen it in a movie once and thought it was neat, to the delight of Hermione. Besides, it protected the wall from any Legilimency tapestries Pansy would want to put up for Parvati's visit tomorrow.
"O-oh, the board! You haven't taken it out since the vampire case." Pansy's eyes twinkled. "Trying to impress your boyfriend with your superior organisation skills?"
As she said it, the Gringotts statement under the name of A.S. Greengrass came off, gliding to the ground. Harry caught it with a curse and hit it with a double sticking charm. Pansy snickered.
"Go sweet-talk Arthur, witch."
After she left to explain her drunken shenanigans to the Ministry, Harry penned a couple of letters and went to get Moonshine.
Coming into Weasley's Cursebreaking, Harry never knew what he would find on any given day. This time, in the middle of the office, there was an ornate full-length mirror with intricate silver vines wreathed around the frame. Bill and Fleur were inspecting it with twin frowns, never coming too close. The mirror reflected the room but not the people; the only living creature it showed was a familiar tabby cat that wasn't there this side of the glass. The cat was sitting with its nose pressed to the mirror, meowing silently.
"Hey, isn't this the same cat from Saturday? The one that got turned into a figurine?" Harry asked.
"The very same," Bill said, turning around and giving him a conspiratorial grin. "Third time we have him over this week. Mr. Hairypaws is the name, but with the amount of trouble he gets in, we simply call him Harry."
"Oi!"
"It was Severus's idea," he said with a far too amused expression on his face.
Harry turned to the third occupant in the room, if you discounted the cat, a blond baby sitting safe on a high chair, sucking on a dummy with utmost concentration on her tiny face.
"See, Dominique? You godfather is a joke to them!" he complained, putting his hand to his forehead in his best imitation of offended Pansy.
Dominique only blinked at him, dispelling all hopes of taking his comedy act on the road. When Moonshine flew up to him, making her clap her chubby hands excitedly, he decided the fault laid with his cute audience. Plebeian child. The air around her flared blue, crackling with magic. The strong magic barrier surrounding the high chair was long honed on Victoire and Teddy, whose curious little hands reached where they shouldn't every time they visited.
Giving Moonshine instructions, Harry tied the letter to his leg. The owl nipped his ear affectionately and swooped to the window, but not before giving the mirror a stink eye. That was another reason Moonshine was living here: despite his loopy appearance, he always had the sense to avoid even the best-hidden curses.
Bill made a series of complicated wand motions and taps, muttering something under his breath. A quill that hovered over a piece of parchment at his side came to life, scribbling furiously. Meanwhile Fleur, who preferred dealing with curses on people rather than objects, went to the mound of books and scrolls she called her desk.
"Say, Fleur," said Harry. "How do you like Ceridwen Academy?"
She looked at him curiously, reaching to tie her white-blond hair into a bun. On anyone else, it would be called messy, but on her, it looked deliberately artful. She put her wand through it to keep the hair together.
"We're very pleased with it. Victoire loves going there, and the quality of education is almost as good as in my primary in Marseilles," she said. "I don't know what we'd do without it."
"Mum—" Bill started, looked at his wife's face, and turned back to the mirror.
"As I was saying. There's simply no other option," she said, enunciating every word. Molly and Fleur had come a long way since she started dating Bill, but distance was the key to keep the hearts fond in that particular relationship. "Why do you ask, 'Arry?"
"I thought about enrolling Teddy there too."
"Doesn't Andromeda want to homeschool him for another year at least?"
"Well, she does, but I think Teddy would love to have more friends his age. There's Victoire, and he's friendly with a muggle boy next door, but you know how it is."
"Too many things he has to keep quiet about." Fleur nodded.
"Not to mention, he cannot keep his hair one colour for longer than an hour."
"In the end, it's Andromeda's call, but it would be good for her, too," said Fleur with a slight frown. "I can't image sending Vic away for months to the boarding school yet, but for Andie, it's going to be heart-breaking."
Harry nodded. Teddy was Andromeda's whole world.
"Did you have Astoria Greengrass as a teacher?" he asked.
"Yes, until this year."
"And what d'you think of her?"
"She's very good with children. Always so patient," she said before giving an elegant shudder. "I don't know how she's doing it. Every time I set foot there, all those moutards are running and screaming at the top of their lungs. Two minutes, and I'm ready to spurt a beak and claws."
"I thought you cannot do that."
Fleur mentioned once that as only a quarter-Veela, she didn't have any of their bird-like characteristics.
"If anyone can make me finally transform, it's them. Thank heavens our Victoire is so well-behaved."
In truth, Victoire was a mischief-making pixie disguised as a little girl, but Harry knew better than to point facts like that out to proud parents.
Out in the hall, the door to the lab flew open.
"Keep stirring until the colour turns lavender. Lavender, not lilac, Creevey!" Severus commanded. "Steady movements, firm grip on the rod. You're brewing a potion, not masturbating furtively back in your Gryffindor dormitory!"
"I feel bad for poor Dennis," said Harry, stifling a snort.
"Ragnok, my supervisor in Gringotts, called me nothing but 'that filthy good-for-nothing long-legger' throughout my apprenticeship. And had a nasty habit of testing curses on me to see if I can break them fast enough to keep my skin from peeling." Bill shrugged.
"Sadly, I'm not allowed to do that anymore," Severus said, entering the office.
Harry knew it couldn't have been further from the truth. Many of Severus's nightmares that woke him screaming were about his time as the Headmaster when had had to allow the torturing of students. He had never wanted to dish anything other than creative tongue-lashings on them.
"Look what we've got here!" Bill said, pointing at the mirror. He looked very much like George at that moment, bouncing on his feet from the excitement of a new puzzle.
"A mirror trap?" Severus looked closer. "You must be joking!"
The cat raised its paw and scratched the mirror from the other side. His tail twitched miserably.
Severus tsked. "As you can see, William, saving Harry is a thankless task."
"Oi!"
"Not everything is about you, Potter. I'm talking about the cat here." Severus's lips quirked.
Turning Severus around, Harry marched him out of Bill and Fleur's office and inside his own, forgetting that he was pretending to be mad midway.
"Do you want to grab something for lunch?" he asked, glancing at the clock. "We could go to that Italian place again."
"Their pasta was acceptable," said Severus. "I'm finished with my potion for now, and Creevey can do the rest."
The window opened, letting Moonshine in. It was charmed to do that, or he would bang against the pane with all his might instead of tapping and waiting patiently like any self-respecting owl. He dropped a reply he'd been holding in his beak, waited for a treat and a compliment, and took off again, the second letter still tied to his leg.
"That was fast," Harry said, opening the parchment. "Oh! I was planning to drop by Andromeda later today, but she's asking us over. She's making lasagne! We can't miss her signature dish."
Severus's expression shut down. "I'm sure it's delicious," he said in a tight voice.
"But?"
"Unfortunately, I've just remembered I must contact my boomslang skin supplier. Please convey my sincere apologies to Madam Tonks."
"Your boomslang skin supplier, huh?" Harry narrowed his eyes. "Severus. You're not even trying."
He hadn't questioned Severus's reluctance to meet Andromeda and Teddy at first, when they had been trying to find their way around each other still. The school had kept them busy anyway, and Harry, to his regret, hadn't always been able to spare much time for his godson. When the exams finally rolled up in June, Andromeda took Teddy for an extended holiday, partly spent at Malfoys' chateaux in France as a part of a sisterly reunion.
But that was three visits ago, and Severus's excuses were growing increasingly ridiculous. Last week, he had announced going to Hogwarts to help Hagrid deal with flesh-eating slug infestation. And now this.
Severus just glared at him down the impressive length of his nose.
"Teddy's going to love you."
"I don't care what the snot-nosed brat thinks of me." His lips became one thin line.
"Don't call him that," Harry said, sharper than he intended. In fact, Teddy was a bit of a brat, especially with a Godfather who let him get away with far too much. But Severus, who had never met him, wasn't entitled to have that opinion. "Is it because he's a Lupin?"
"What?" Severus asked, startled. "No. I just don't like children. You know that."
"And yet you've been great with Aurora's kids." Severus was much more patient with the Astronomy Professor's eight-year-old than with any student. And little Perseus was trouble. "Listen, Severus, I'm not asking you to entertain him, or anything."
"I'd like to see you try." Severus raised his chin.
Harry was starting to understand the problem. This wasn't an issue with Ron and Hermione, who had waylaid Severus on one of their early visits to Hogwarts. Despite Harry's loud protests, they were determined to dash a proper "meet the family" treatment on poor Severus, whether he was ready for it or not.
Those two were a fearsome duo indeed. Overly cheerful Hermione quizzed Severus on his intentions while Ron reminisced about Rita Skeeter's stay in his wife's jar with a meaningful expression. Which, in turn, offended Hermione. How could her own husband threaten Severus with her person? Instead of reassuring everybody that her days of violence were over, though, she reminded Ron that he had the entire joke shop full of questionable products at hand. He could exact his own revenge for breaking Harry's heart instead of relying on her for that. All in all, that first meeting with his friends went as well as Neville's first meeting with a cauldron.
Teddy was Harry's family, and Andromeda was an unknown variable. Severus was anxious and covered that the only way he could. By being a prickly git.
This required a subtle, diplomatic approach.
"You're afraid to meet them," Harry said, raising his eyebrows.
Severus reared back, expression thunderous. "Don't you dare call—"
"Both of you are the most important people to me," he pressed on, taking Severus's hand in his. "I don't need you to visit Teddy with me every week, but I don't want to keep these two areas of my life separate either."
Severus wasn't completely mollified but didn't yank his hand away.
"I'll make it up to you, too." Harry waggled his eyebrow with a leer.
"Very well. I'll accompany you to the Tonks residence."
"Thank you, Severus," he said gently, leaning in for a kiss.
"I don't appreciate your artless attempts at emotional manipulation one whit, Potter."
Harry sent him a bashful smile but refused to feel too much guilt about getting his way. Compromising didn't come naturally for Severus, and Harry's heart fluttered in his chest every time his lover was willing to make an effort.
He considered a detour to Diagon to get a Swedish Short-Snout figurine he'd been eyeing earlier this week in the toy shop window, but that would definitely be the straw to break the thestral's back. Picking up a pinch of floo powder and throwing it in the fireplace, Harry stepped into the green flames.
"Tonks's place!"
Tumbling out with his usual grace, he was nearly knocked over by an eight-year-old zooming right up to him on a toy broom. "Uncle Harry!"
"Hi, monkey!" Harry ruffled Teddy's hair, turquoise today. "Does your Nan know you are flying inside again?"
A blush spread over Teddy's cheeks and spilled onto his bangs. It only got deeper when the floo flared again and Severus stepped out. He was wearing a different robe over his shirt and trousers from the one he had been brewing in, although a less discerning eye wouldn't make a distinction. All Severus's everyday robes were the same: long, black, and austere.
"Teddy, I want you to meet Severus Snape—"
"Are you Uncle Harry's boyfriend?" the boy blurted, rolling off the broom.
"Yes, I am." Severus stood stiff as a board, not even protesting the offending 'boyfriend' term. "Hello, Edward."
Teddy giggled. "Nan only calls me that when I'm in trouble." Red crept further up into in his blue hair. "Nan says you do potions."
"Make potions," Severus corrected. "Or brew."
"Right." Teddy gave a sage nod. "And Aunt Narcissa said you're cur-mu-dudgeon. I'm not sure what it means, though."
"Did she." Severus's left eye twitched. "I had no idea I was a topic of conversation here."
"Can you make a potion to drink and fly without a broom?" Teddy asked excitedly.
"Yes, I can."
Harry had never heard of such a potion, but if anyone could invent it, it was Severus. "Actually, Severus here can fly without a broom. Or a potion," he said.
"Wow." Teddy looked at Severus with new-found hero-worship.
"Edward Remus Lupin! Is that a broom I'm seeing?"
"Uh-oh," Harry said.
Hair deep-red, Teddy grabbed the broom and sprinted out of the room, slamming the brakes to a leisurely walk when he pulled level with his grandmother in the hall.
"It went great, didn't it?" Harry muttered to Severus with a smile. "You didn't have anything to worry about."
"I wasn't—"
"Well, if it isn't the elusive man himself." Andromeda Tonks strode into the living room.
"Severus Snape, at your service." Severus gave a formal half-bow. "Pleasure to meet you, Madam Tonks."
"Do call me Andromeda." She waved him off. "Finally, I can meet the fashion icon of the summer properly."
"Andie, please," Harry groaned, putting one hand over his eyes while the other found its way around Severus's shoulders. He didn't need wands drawn this early into the conversation. "Since when do you listen to wireless, anyway?"
"I don't, but Cissy does."
"You're on speaking terms again?"
The road to understanding for the two sisters was rather bumpy. The visit to the Malfoys in France ended early with Andromeda taking Teddy and storming out. She was cagey on the details, but Lucius apparently played a major part.
"My sister's been making up for Blondie running his mouth again."
Severus let out a muffled sound that could reasonably pass as a cough.
"He's been in a funk." Andromeda's face told them exactly what she thought about that. "Sulking that the whole world is against him, and even his only friend left him in his time of need."
"Lucius and his drama." Severus snorted derisively.
"A quality all Malfoy men seem to share," Harry added.
Long tiered dress billowing behind her like Severus's school robes, Andromeda lead them into the kitchen.
"Black sisters have always brought out the worst homicidal urges in me," Severus muttered to Harry under his breath as they followed. "I don't know why I thought this one would be different."
The kitchen with cheery Cannons-orange cupboards and Muggle appliances was littered with parchment, quills and coloured pencils. Harry took one from the table as he sat. A blue crup was drawn in a childish hand on the one side, while the other contained a detailed depiction of a sixteenth-century Japanese flaying curse in Andromeda's cursive handwriting. Severus snatched the parchment, eyebrows climbing to the hairline.
"Notes for my latest book," Andromeda said, erasing the notes and sending the picture to the wall, next to more of Teddy's drawings, with a flick of her wand.
"Your spell history series?" Harry asked. She wrote everything from bodice rippers to noir novels to non-fiction under half a dozen different pen names.
"No, the new part of The Princess of Ascania. My novels for children and teens," she explained to Severus.
"A children's story more gruesome than the Warlock's Hairy Heart?" he asked, eying Andromeda with a wary fascination.
"Don't you worry, everything will be age-appropriate," Andromeda said, opening the oven. "Now, I promised you some lasagne. Let's eat, and then you can tell me why you're so interested in Teddy's schooling options all of the sudden."
Plates full of the savoury dish floated to the table, bringing Teddy to the kitchen with its delicious aroma.
"So good," Harry moaned around the fork.
Severus sent him a somewhat betrayed look. "Don't speak with your mouth full," he said.
Teddy snickered at Harry being scolded.
"Severus here makes a mean roast chicken," said Harry after he was done swallowing and rolling his eyes.
"Nice to hear that you finally have somebody to break your appalling takeaway habits," Andromeda said, blotting her grandson's mouth with a napkin.
Halfway through the meal, a bike horn dinged outside the window. Teddy fidgeted.
"Can I play with Steve, Nan?"
Andromeda made him eat most of his lasagne and let him go with a sigh.
"Go play with your friend, but remember to control your appearance."
Teddy nodded vigorously, changing his hair to sandy brown, and dashed out of the kitchen.
"No running inside!" Andromeda shook her head in exasperation.
"Bye, Uncle Harry! Bye, Mr. Severus!" Teddy shouted from the hall as an afterthought.
"So." She banished the dishes to the sink where the sponge flew up and started washing them.
Helping himself to some Jaffa cakes Andromeda produced from the pantry, Harry related his plan.
"You want us to visit the Ceridwen Academy so you can snoop around Astoria Greengrass while I'm enrolling Teddy there," she summed up.
"That's right." Harry nodded.
"And you also have the underlying motive of changing my mind about homeschooling Teddy before Hogwarts."
If Harry was a Metamorphmagus as well, his hair would turn red now.
"You're not very subtle, Harry."
"I keep telling him that," Severus agreed.
"The Sorting Hat wanted to put me into Slytherin, you know," Harry said before biting into another cake.
Both Severus and Andromeda looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"You did great today," Harry said after they returned to Grimmauld Place that evening.
"Don't patronise me, Potter." As usual, Severus hid his preening behind a bristle. He took off his robe, folding it neatly, and put a book on Japanese curses he'd borrowed from Andromeda on the bedside table.
"You did, though." Harry grinned before his expression turned thoughtful. "Andromeda mentioned that the Malfoys chilled to Astoria in the last year. I wonder what that's about."
"I can pay them a visit if you want," Severus offered with a wince. It was obvious from his tone that the prospect didn't sound in any way enticing. "Narcissa has been bombarding me with requests to come by and shake Lucius out of his rut for a while now."
"You don't have to. I've noticed that you aren't eager to keep in touch with them."
"No, no. I confess I'm curious how dear Blondie is doing nowadays," Severus said with a rather mean-spirited smirk.
Harry gave him a grin of his own. He'd be sure to remember the nickname next time he saw the stuck-up pureblood fanning his peacock tail again.
"Now, I remember being offered a bribe earlier today." Like a snake striking from the grass, Severus crowded into Harry's space in one long stride. "You cannot deny I performed exceptionally well in the face of adversity."
"Adversity?" Harry laughed, working his hands around Severus's neck.
Severus pushed him until his back touched the wardrobe, intercepting his hands at the wrists and pinning them with his own over Harry's head. Severus's teeth grazed his ear, mouth found his jaw. With a sharp inhale, Harry arched, trying to mould himself into him, needing to be closer still.
"Indeed," Severus murmured. "And I know just the reward."
Author's Note: Almost done polishing False Pretences with my amazing beta. Check out the first fic in the series if you still haven't and want some more adventures of PI Harry!