AN: Hey.

So the biggest part of Takezou's character as the story continues is probably his contemplation and just moments to himself where he tries to understand himself and others better. Well that and his love for Kenjutsu all the while hating conflict, though I'm pretty sure I've either already brought that up or its going to be coming up soon.

Though also his over reliance on other people, that is something that definitely comes up this chapter.

Chapter Title: Skipping a beat because of a nap.
Arc 4 Part 1

I was with the old lady today, thing is about Masamune was that apparently she sold her weapons under the name 'Nekyou' because things made by women seemed to be assumed to be worse for some reason so this persona she sold under was presumed to be a well known strong male smith that had their works being sold all over the show. After she had mentioned the name I actually had to stop for a minute because I had seen her Katana's and other blades sell for hundreds of thousands of Ryo at the weapon stores I window shopped at a lot.

Despite this news I was too distracted by my own thoughts as I watched the flames of the Kiln and the sparks that writhed as white hot metal clashed against steel being beaten into shape. Though there was a faint smell of some kind of gas I couldn't pin it though.

What was on my mind was the very big elephant in the room. That being whether or not I continued to be a Shinobi, I hated conflict, but everything we did led to fighting further. I was put in a situation where I had killed people. Sure I didn't need to kill any of them, but it was the easiest option afforded to us as we fought through that forest.

I hate that it came to that.

Why was it that ending the life of another was truly the easiest option? Was it because killing had always been easy it was just a matter of how the situations were dealt with. Though I suppose that all those people we fought had no interest in allowing is to continue living as we saw fit, not the Sound kids, not the Rain kids and not… What was her name? Ken? Kan? Kin? Right yeah Kin. If my memories were intact enough I think she was some lackey of the Snake's, so she probably would've killed me if I hadn't handled it the way I had.

Things like that were too much for me.

People would probably call me fragile if I continued a life like this and didn't get over throwing my guts up whenever I bisected people. There was a reason I did to, I feel like someone like Naruto was too stupid to understand what something like that meant, not to say he doesn't understand the sanctity of Human life.

Funny though isn't it?

I mean that buffoon wants to become Hokage so that people will acknowledge him, but doesn't even realize that the Hokage does nothing but desk work and administrative stuff to keep the Village from falling apart.

One day he's going to get there and all that time he wasted not studying is going to come back and bite him in the ass.

Maybe it's my inner pessimistic cynic showing face and wanting to watch that boy fail, but I honestly couldn't give him my vote of confidence relating to his dream, if anything his journey hasn't even begun as far as I'm concerned on the matter. Though he's doing more than I am at this point isn't he? I mean he has a fucking dream and I can't even manage that much! How am I allowed to sit here and question his dream and try to dismantle it when I can't even put something for myself together that is something more than just the vaguest drive to continue living because I don't want to die.

I don't want to be forgotten… that was something of a trait in a character I remember enjoying the story of long ago. She was terrified of losing herself and forgetting who she was, I almost feel like I'm going through something familiar now. It hadn't come up yet, but I knew it was happening.

There was a time before the Exam when I had forgotten parts of my old life, I didn't make mention of it because for the most part I've been making an effort not to rely on old memories that aren't all that applicable to my situation. The more time passed though that more I've noticed that I'm losing more of these parts of myself and I'm unsure how long things will continue until I'm no longer that person but just Takezou. Sure I wouldn't have had a problem with that, but that's not the only thing, I've begun to notice a very light deterioration in myself. My Aunt brought it up about my hair.

Mum had told me that our chakra was poisonous to ourselves and that I should be weary, which was one of her true reasons for not liking my continued drive further into the path I've chosen that uses a lot of chakra. It was why I was using less of it during the fishing/camping portion of this trip, but the problem is that from what I understand about my Kekkei Genkai is that my constant use of chakra has basically set me on a course of weathering it all out.

There isn't much that I can do aside from limiting my use of it, it's why Mum was the way she was. She may know how to use chakra and all but uses it at a very limited rate and only enough to keep her Tenketsu from being overcharged as was.

Why my thoughts were the most active when considering my existential problems I didn't know. Maybe it was just the way that I dealt with it, but who knows I sure as hell didn't. It's not like having people around me discussing these philosophies that only push me further into trying to understand what I want and seek from all this.

Koutetsu made a point about his sharpened swords, sure, but the problem came when the more I thought about it the more I felt like his line of work was one I might consider. Though I've always had options, Ume's always asked me about whether or not I wanted to take over as an instructor at her dojo in a few years, I had considered it. If I did go with that I would be able to continue my pursuit of the sword and enjoying that as well as getting to as I pleased.

Mum had suggested I become a chief or open some kind of stall where I got to cook as much as I wanted, which again I seriously considered. Dad wasn't too sure but just said I should go until something finds me rather than me finding it. Uncle Toyo and Aunty Rei had once asked me about my commitment to being a Ninja, and that was fair, Rei was an ANBU? and Toyo took his love for the village very seriously so my flippant behavior was probably some cause for worry.

I was drawn away from my thoughts when the world around me seemed to become engulfed in flames, I fell backwards out of the way of the scorching rays of heat and fire as my back and head impacted on the coarse ground.

[Scene Break]

When my eyes opened again I was staring at a familiar ceiling.

Time passed unimpeded by my lack of movement and sluggish heavy feeling body that laid resting on a bed.

I hadn't turned my head in all the time that I had been staring at the ceiling, when I finally looked to my left as per usual my mother's head of hair was resting on the side of the bed, she was kneeling on the floor. Kaede's soft breathing reached my ears informing me she was asleep.

I probably should've been concerned that I was home again and that the last thing I remembered was an explosion, but all I could do is smile like some idiot.

She was here again.

Back at my side.

Always pushing herself for our sake.

She never left us on our own.

Always striving to uphold a safe haven to return to.

Never have I considered her love and compassion overbearing.

I don't think I could've asked for a better mother really.

My face began to sting and a pain that had been subsided up until this point rose as the feeling flashed through me. The sound of my clenched teeth grinding seemed to make her stir from her slumber.

Her blue eyes flashed open catching my amber, worry crossed Kaede's face as she realized how pained I was from just the simple glance at my eyes.

"Takezou!" she called alarmed at my disposition.

"M-morn… ing- Mu- m" I grunted out clenching my fists as the pain reached unbearable levels.

I blacked out again.

The next time I woke up, there wasn't any pain, but rather the same heaviness as before and the feeling that there was another person's presence in the room. Gazing around the room again my eyes fell upon Mum and Akatsuki, my sister was sitting at the end of my bed playing with mums hair while she was resting against the bed again.

I decided to take more initiative this time and tried to sit up finding that my body ached some, the problems this time weren't damage related but rather the calendar on my wall which was currently marked off as being several days passed the date of the One on One round of the Chuunin Exam.

Before I could collect myself properly I blurted out "What- the fuck..."

Without warning 'Tsuki launched herself at me knocking Kaede at the same time getting her attention while I was sitting up, I fell back under my sisters excited tackle. Pulling myself back up again and reciprocating my sisters hug Mum watched me for a moment before embracing the both of us.

"Takezou, how many times do I need to remind you not to get hurt?" She said ignoring everything else in favour of the normal routine she and I went through whenever I woke up in hospital.

"Enough that this is a recurring conversation." I answered back with what little a smile I could muster.

Sighing for a moment before she continued Mum put her hand to her cheek "I'm just glad you're safe for now, your grandparents' home didn't fare nearly as well." she paused a moment. "I'd still like to know where you got those scars..." Kaede trailed off looking at my face and what I assumed were the boar's tusk scar and the one from dueling with my Aunt.

I cleared my throat before speaking, making sure I had mum's attention "So what happened exactly?"

She turned back to me garnering a more serious expression "I'm not sure about the details just what your Aunt told me when she came back with you and your father's parents." She moved to sit down on the end of my bed. "From what everyone thinks happened something caused the forge and kiln to explode nearly killing your grandmother and her apprentices that had been with her at the time and seriously injuring you. Though you got out of it with only serious burns and bruising as well as a broken arm."

"Really?" I couldn't believe it. Had that really happened while I was distracted in my thoughts?

"Mm… Koutetsu thinks that it had to do with the volatile nature of the materials that had been in the workshop at the time as well as the metals they were using. Something about a gas of some kind… I don't remember exactly what was said, that was a while ago now."

Taking a moment to think about it all and letting my sister go as she began squirming in my arms, I watched as she left the room looking back and Mum and me like she wanted to say something but decided not to.

"So I guess I missed the exam then?" I asked going back to what was kind of an important part of my recent life.

"The what- oh!" Mum looked more than a little surprised about what I asked. "I completely forgot… Takezou. Takezou the exams were two months ago, the village has been rebuilding itself since then." I watched her in silence trying to understand what she was saying. "The sand village decided to invade Konoha in the middle of the exam and during it their Jinchuriki blew up, not to mention that snake creep killed the Hokage."

"I… uh… what?" I had been out that long? I missed the exam… I had spent a fair amount of time training myself up for that, but I've been shafted by life and I didn't even get a chance to use it.

I felt useless.

What of my team?

Where were they right now?

My thoughts were cut off by Mum's hand shaking my shoulder. "Take- Takezou?"

"Ah… yeah sorry, it's just a lot of information… the Hokage is dead then?"

"He is yes. Though a new woman took over being Hokage just a week or so ago, I can't remember her name for the life of me though." Kaede scratched her head trying to remember it. "Oh! That reminds me your teammates both got out of hospital recently as well!" she said somewhat cheerily.

"Huh? What do you mean by both? Last I remember Hinata was the only one in there what happened?" everything had overwhelmed me so much that I couldn't muster any more surprise in my voice at this point.

"Hinata got hospitalized again during the invasion and right after she got out the Uchiha boy's older brother showed up and he went to go and attack him from what your teacher said, during it though the Hyuuga girl tried to protect him and both of them ended up back in hospital after the incident." she explained.

I was over all this. I wanted to go back to sleep and wake up somewhere that wasn't here right now… this was too much. Hinata and Sasuke both attacked Itachi then?

"It looks like you could still use some rest though so why don't you go back to sleep and I'll get your father to come get you when dinner is ready a few hours from now?" Mum said and all I could do was nod in agreement. Sleep sounded good after all this.

Really I was just glad I woke up in my room and not the hospital.

[Scene Break]

I got a good look at myself in a mirror the next day, the scar that went from top to bottom on my face was pretty noticeable along with the one that went just above my eye, most apparent though was a patch on the left side of my neck that spread onto my shoulder that was where my skin had been charred by the blast. My forearms were in a similar state, I guess I had used them to cover my face without thinking about it and so they were damaged in my stead.

The more I had looked at them the more I realized it wasn't normal was it? I had scars all over the place that would be there forever. I was only thirteen and I effectively had these for life.

I didn't spend long looking at my face of course, because- well it's not like there is much to look at.

After though I did decide that I'd spend my day around home seeing as I was still recovering from something I don't even remember happening and just generally trying to come to terms with the fact that the two of the biggest events that I had subsequently been training for had passed and I was missing in action for them. Effectively dead to the world. It annoyed me, but at the same time I was glad I didn't have to put myself through either of those situations. Just thinking about participating in a battle against a tailed beast made me want to curl up into a ball and cry let alone someone like Itachi whose bingo book page made a tailed beast's very existence look cute.

Though I was a little sad about it If I remember correctly his partner or the guy he traveled with was like one of the seven ninja swordsmen from the mist, so I would have at least liked to meet him. But alas I'll have to wait until another time they decide to show face.

I was sitting out the back of the house on the veranda that wrapped itself around the house, Dad was at work and the only people around were Mum, my sister, Aunty Rei, Aunty Ume, Kari and Asami the last two being Mums long time friends who didn't come over all that often- aside from that all of the mothers had their children over. It was a play date if you couldn't have guessed, my nieces were too young to be at school or preschool while Akatsuki hadn't entered any yet in favor of my Mum making use of her teaching skills she picked up from part time work at one of the nearby civilian schools.

They were all in the yard, or well the kids were, they were playing some game I didn't recognize. Not that I played games growing up now that I think about it, I spent all my time learning and training, I never really had any room for it, I suppose that's why I didn't have any friends outside of my team. Though that's partially because I constantly verbally attacked Ino and her little troupe of sheep. That reminds me… the last time I saw her or Sakura for that matter was during the exam, I didn't normally hate people, and those two I definitely didn't. It was just a matter of circumstance and my built up feelings at that point.

a sigh escaped me.

"You sigh like a servant girl in love with her Lord." the familiar voice of Ume said from my right where she was drinking water from a glass with a grin like a child.

"I suppose I might do yes." was all I cared to respond, trying to keep my thoughts back to the matter at hand. I was considering apologizing to Sakura particularly because I did kind of feel bad about it, but at the same time she had the gall at the time to speak to me in a tone that suggested that I was the heathen touching her relic.

"Y'know I might actually start to think you're in love with someone if you keep sighing like that." another comment passed by me and I honestly thought it was funny.

"I doubt it, I was sighing because of the situation I find myself in." I answered her after I had laughed at her joke.

"What did you get a girl pregnant while no one was looking?" I could hear my mother and Rei actually spit what they were drinking out at that comment.

Things like that being said made me glad that Mums friends weren't within hearing distance or at the least they weren't paying attention to our conversation, after all Mums friends were civilians and didn't really take the sort of comedy Ume and I used all well. I can still remember the first time they met Ume and I, we had just come home from Kenjutsu training and it was the day she had pierced my shoulder with a sword, I thought it was funny and Ume was cowering but still kind of laughing while they were horrified.

"No, I haven't gotten some girl pregnant, and no there won't be any 'mini me's' running around." I paused before continuing while I watched the three mothers laugh about it. "I was actually thinking about… about how I threatened to butcher a girl from my academy class and said that no one would care whether or not she continued to breathe just because she had the gall to tell me off for preventing Sasuke from killing everybody he could get his hands on." the tone shift seemed to have slapped them all.

It was Aunty Rei who spoke up first. "I hope there is more to this story, I know that your team was attacked by that freak during the Exam wasn't he? Was this after that?"

Clearing my throat continued "Uh yeah, we were all half dead after what happened with the trouser snake, we had been jumped while Hinata was on watch when we had stopped to rest, we dealt with one or two people before Sasuke flipped out due to some seal the snake put on him that made him stronger, faster and more angry." I took a second to remember back to the forest. "Sasuke needed to be stopped before he turned onto someone else which was when this kid in green showed up and tried to challenge him- he had already tried but I had turned us away before then, other than that right I used the Nodachi's sheath to knock Sasuke out at which point this pink haired girl showed up and I had at that point been considering ditching the exam and failing it so that I could get my team to safety and threatened her like I said." I noticed that Ume and Mum had gone off to do something leaving me with Rei.

"And anything more? Was it your true feelings or was it in the heat of the moment from the tension?" Rei asked in a rare moment of interest directed at my life.

"I suppose they were actually my thoughts and I don't actually regret saying it, but I guess it's because I never really had a good standing with the rest of my class so making it worse is something I want to repair." I'd thought about this before.

"Yeah, but you don't want to actually give them that do you? From what I know you don't seem to actually care what others think about you… that's why you are doing anything to hide or cover up all those cracks on your blade right?" for a moment while Rei was speaking I had remembered hearing a similar quote once before.

"Mm… I think I don't know what I'm doing anymore… I'm only thirteen or fourteen and yet here I am considering things like someone two decades older… I think I'll just leave it as is for now and settle for resting and whatnot." I heard the sounds of footsteps as my Aunt made a sound of agreement before patting my head as she walked over to the kids.

While we were talking I watched as Kari and Asami left with their children who were still unnamed to me, though that was because I never really went out of my way to ask.

"Well at least you aren't sleeping around and making Hinata and I do all the work then." Sasuke's voice said, drawing my attention to the door that led into the house, Mum was beaming from behind him.

"I'm glad you're here Sasuke! I'll make you your onigiri!" I was pretty sure she didn't do that normally when my team came over.

"Are you stealing my family or becoming a Rakurai?" I asked, watching the pale dark haired boy.

Ignoring my comment with a roll of his eyes he spoke. "I thought Sensei said to stop being depressed otherwise you'd end up with deeper stress lines?" he said with a smirk looking at the actual stress marks on my face as well as the scars.

"Nah I'm too much of a worry wort and old man to do that." I joked back with a smile. It was nice to see him again, and looking happy for the most part anyway.

AN: If I'm honest then I think AVID is finished, currently where I've written up to is right before Naruto gets back to the village and I'm just not sure how I want to continue the story after that so I'll probably just be posting the chapters week to week until its all out. At that point though the story will be complete until further notice though it might get occasional OVA like chapters if I don't make a separate story to post those.