*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter, they were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much."
I thought my next trip home to Phoenix to see my family would be a happier occasion but unfortunately the untimely, unexpected death of my twin brother Josiah made this trip home to Phoenix a sad and depressing trip. Over the last week I have been asking myself why I didn't answer Josiah's phone call, why didn't I take the time out of my day to talk to him? I thought I had more time, I never expected to get the phone call I got that night in one of the happiest times for my family after telling Jonah he was going to be a big brother, that happiness quickly faded when my mama told me that my brother Josiah had died in a car accident on his way home from work. I wish I would have taken his call, I wish I could have said goodbye. Sometimes in life we think we have tomorrow but sometimes tomorrow never comes. Sometimes the only thing we have is now, it's better not to waste a moment, or a minute or wait for another day, we need to take the moment for what it is especially for our loved ones.
After Josiah's funeral I decided I would stay in Phoenix for the rest of the week while Seth went back out on the road, Vince was nice enough to give him off a couple days to travel to Phoenix and attend the funeral but it's back to business for Seth while my world has completely stopped. Seth wanted to take more time to be with me and felt bad about returning back on the road but work is work and he has to do what he has to do especially as the champion but that doesn't mean I don't wish he was here with me. It's been hard on me knowing my twin is gone. "How are you feeling?" asks Seth as I am on the phone with him in the early morning in my parents' kitchen. I couldn't sleep not only because I'm sad but also because the baby makes me sick through the night.
"I'm feeling sick," I say, "our baby has kept me up all night again sick."
"I'm sorry," he says. "Have you drank any ginger tea?"
"That's what I am drinking now," I say, "hoping to get my morning sickness to settle so that I can get some sleep. I am really tired."
"I know you are," he says, "I wish I could be there with you."
"It's okay, I have my family here so I'm not completely alone."
"I know but I don't like being this far away from you when you're sick and feeling this way."
"Well, I'm 7 weeks pregnant, morning sickness can go till 12 weeks so I'm going to be sick a lot while you're away, nothing we can do about that."
"I know," he says. "But just think about it, all this sickness will be worth it."
"And hopefully all this heartburn," I say with a smile. "Our baby better have a lot of hair or I'm going to be disappointed. Jonah had a lot of hair when he was born, my family has hairy babies so hopefully he or she has a lot of hair at birth after all this heartburn."
"I had a lot of hair when I was born," he says making me smile. "Have you told anyone in your family yet?" he asks.
"I thought about it but I don't think right now is the time after all my brother did just die. It's not the time to announce I am pregnant."
"Fair enough," he says.
"Besides, I kind of wanted to do some cute announcement in a few weeks but I don't know," I say.
"We could do a cute announcement," he says. "How is your mom and how is your dad doing?"
"My mom is doing okay, I know she's struggling. She's dealt with so much loss in her life from my Nonna dying from breast cancer, losing my older sister Neveah in a car accident and watching Ben's biological dad being killed in front of her, she literally sat with him as he died," I say. "It's tragic how life works sometimes. My dad is taking it pretty hard after all if you think about it biologically Josiah is his only son but it's still hard. I remember when Kris took Jonah from me and sold him, I remember that heart ache so I can only imagine their heart ache after losing a child and it was so unexpected, Josiah was literally only 21 years old, recently engaged to be married, ready to graduate college and head off to med school to be a doctor, life happens so fast."
"Life is so tragic," he says, "I'm sorry that it has to be so tragic at a time that we are so happy," he apologizes, his voice full of sympathy.
"That is usually how my life works," I say with a shrug as I play with my tea cup as my mom comes down into the kitchen. "Seth, I have to go, I love you."
"I love you too," he says, "I will see you in a couple days."
"I will see you in a couple days," I say before hanging up the phone. "Morning, Mama," I say.
"Morning, J, you're up early," she says.
"I couldn't sleep," I say. "What about you?"
"Same," she says taking a seat at the table with me. "It's hard when you lose a child."
"I can't even imagine, Mama," I say taking her hand into mine. "I am really sorry."
"Me too," she says, "I lost Neveah in a similar way and here I am again having to bury another child, he had so much life ahead of him, he was going to graduate college, get married, he had his whole life ahead of him."
"He really did," I agree with her. "It's sad, I wish I had taken his phone call that day. I am always going to regret not taking that call. I feel so bad because I kept putting it off and putting it off."
"You can't live with that regret, J," she says, "Josiah knew that you loved him. He knew that you were probably busy dealing with your life, I mean after all you're married, you have a son and you're pregnant, I'm sure he understood," she says shocking me with a smile.
"How did you know," I ask.
"Because I have been through it many times, J. I know pregnancy when I see it and I smelled the ginger on my way down the stairs. Plus, you spend a lot of time in the bathroom I suspected," she says with a smile. "That's something to be joyful about."
"I feel bad being joyful at a time and please don't tell anyone, Seth and I weren't planning on telling anyone for a few weeks. Plus I don't think right now is the time to share something like this not with Josiah being gone. It doesn't feel right."
"You know Josiah would be so happy for you," she smiles, "but I understand. Your secret is safe with me but you know your dad is bound to figure it out too, he's been through a lot of pregnancies too. So I'm going to guess you're drinking ginger tea to help settle your stomach."
"Yeah, that's what the doctor suggested it does help but I don't know why they call it morning sickness. I am not sick in the morning just at night."
"That's how it happens. I remember when I was pregnant with Chelsea and Ben I was sick all the time, my pregnancy with you and Josiah was a little bit different. I wasn't nearly as sick as I was with your brother and sister but Sicily I was more shocked than anything because I truly thought I couldn't get pregnant again but sure enough there she was and she was the missing piece to our puzzle. Were you sick with Jonah too?"
"Very much so," I say, "not this sick but I was sick."
"All pregnancies are different, when are you due?"
"I'm only 7 weeks along, so they're saying December 8th is when I am due but I go for my 8 week ultrasound next week and they said they should have a more accurate due date for me because it's more accurate."
"Another December baby," she smiles. "I hope first and foremost that you have a healthy baby because that's what is most important but I also hope that it's a girl. We are lacking with granddaughters; we have Lexy and Liberty that's it, then we have David, Jacob, Aiden, Jonah, Mikey and Langston, we need another granddaughter."
"You're right about that, what you didn't have for sons was made up in grandchildren," I smile. "I want a girl too, I really want a girl. Seth is right there with me he wants a girl too and we already know that Jonah has been asking for a baby sister since he was 3 years old. He is so excited to be a big brother."
"I bet, he's waited a long time, you and Seth have waited a long time."
"Yeah but I think that this is the best time, I'm getting ready to graduate school, Seth just got the championship, a pay raise along with it, we are literally more stable in our careers and life, this is the perfect time," I say.
"I agree," she says with a smile. "So how are you handling Josiah's death?"
"It hurts a lot, he's my twin brother. We drifted apart for a couple years but we got closer. He is truly my best friend. We used to talk to each other every day except that day," I say with tears in my eyes, "now every day I am going to be waiting for that phone call or that message and it's not going to come. He has always been my best friend."
"You two were always close growing up. You two had some epic fights but when it came to someone picking on your brother you were there to stand up for him," she says with tears in her own eyes. "You two always had your own language that no one understood. You were always so close."
"It hurts knowing that he's gone, is it going to hurt forever like this?"
"It's going to hurt a while, the truth about grief is it never really goes away. The pain just fades over time but grief will always sneak up on you, you could hear a certain song, see a certain show, face anything that reminds you of him and you're going to break down crying and that's okay. We'll get through this, it's going to be hard but we are going to get through this."
"I know," I say. "I love you, mama."
"I love you too," she says.
A Few Days Later:
I am woken up by soft large arms wrapping themselves around my body and a hand placed on my stomach. I smile at the feel of Seth beside me. "Hey," I say with sleep in my voice.
"Hey," he says kissing my forehead softly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up, especially since you are actually sleeping and not sick."
"It's okay," I say, "It's not a big deal. The baby was going to wake me up soon anyway. I'm glad you're home."
"I'm glad to be home," he says as I wrap my arms around him. "Red eye flights are a life saver. I couldn't miss this appointment today."
"No you couldn't, it's the 8 week ultrasound."
"I know, I'm excited to see the baby," he says making me smile. "How have you been feeling, how was your trip back from Phoenix?"
"I've been feeling the same, keeps me up all night sick and the trip back from Phoenix was good. It was definitely better than going to Phoenix. My mom knows about the baby, I told her. No one else knows though. My mom figured it out."
"Moms just have that magic I guess," he says.
"Well, my mom has also gone through a lot of pregnancies, there's not a craving or symptom she hasn't experienced so she knew when I was drinking ginger tea that I was pregnant. She's excited."
"That's good," he says holding me close. "My mom is excited too, she was talking to me about it, she wants a granddaughter after having boys she wants a granddaughter to spoil."
"That's funny because my mom wants a granddaughter, she said that we have so many boys that she wants me to have a girl. I just want a healthy baby."
"Me too, that's the number 1 thing is that it is healthy," he says rubbing my stomach. "Hello, Little Bean," he says making me smile. "I'm your Daddy. I look forward to meeting you and seeing you. I hope that you look just like your mama. I know that I am going to love you forever and always, you're going to be so loved," he says rubbing my stomach.
"That was sweet," I smile, "but I think I want to go back to sleep for a little bit while I can."
"All right," he says kissing me softly, "goodnight."
"Goodnight," I say with a smile as I cuddle close to him and drift off to sleep.
Later That Morning:
After we take Jonah to school Seth and I arrive at the doctor's office to get our ultrasound. I'm actually very excited about it because I didn't get the opportunity to have ultrasounds with Jonah, I was lucky to even make it full term when I was pregnant with him, Kris made sure I got the medical care I needed but it was just check-ups and doppler readings to hear his heartbeat to make sure he was alive to be sold off but I don't think Kris would have cared either way. This is technically my first normal pregnancy and I am grateful for it. "How are you feeling about everything?" I ask Seth.
"I'm excited," he says, "I know right now my schedule is a little crazy but by the time the baby is born everything should be settled down. I think I am going to take some time off after the baby is born, so I need an accurate due date to give WWE now so they know when to write me out."
"How much time are you planning on taking?" I ask.
"I don't know probably a month or so, how much time do you want me to take?" he asks.
"I don't know, it's up to you. I personally think a month is good. I'm planning on taking my full 12 weeks though."
"12 weeks sounds pretty good," he smiles, "I should take 12 weeks off too."
"And miss Mania next year? I don't think so," I smile back.
"Actually if the baby is due in December then I would be back by Mania. I could even return at Mania, I honestly don't care about Mania, I want to be with you, Jonah and the baby."
"Well, we have some time to think about it," I say.
"No, I guarantee WWE is already planning out the Royal Rumble, the sooner I tell them I'm taking time off the better is for them and their plans."
"I guess you're right."
"Jordyn," calls the nurse. Seth and I stand up together, he takes my hand as we walk back with the nurse to the room I am having my ultrasound in. She gives me a gown to change into and tells me to keep my underwear off before she leaves the room. I change into the gown and then wait patiently for the doctor to arrive.
After knocking on the door Dr. Morgan walks into the room greeting us with a smile. "How are you doing today, Jordyn?"
"Good," I say.
"I am sorry about your brother," he says.
"Me too," I say, I never know what to say when someone tells me they are sorry for the loss of my brother. While I appreciate everyone's sympathy, it doesn't really help mend my broken heart or heal the pain I am feeling but that's just how death works, you grieve, you hurt and there's nothing that can truly make you feel better.
"So how is the pregnancy going? Any concerns?" he asks.
"No," I say, "Just dealing with morning sickness but that's to be expected."
"Yes, that should go away by the 12th week and then your cravings will start."
"That's good news because being sick keeps me up all night," I say. "I am fine most of the day but after 11pm until about 6 am I am in the bathroom. I wouldn't call it morning sickness, more like middle of the night sickness," I joke with a smile.
"Sounds like it," he says, "so we are going to do an internal ultrasound today to get a better reading on the baby, see a more accurate reading of the baby to see how far along you are and when the baby is due."
"Okay," I say. I prep for the ultrasound as Seth makes his way over to my side. I watch the doctor as he gets out the wand or the doppler after turning on the machine. He puts what looks like a condom onto the doppler before having me put my legs up in the stirrups.
"This may be a little uncomfortable," he says before taking the probe and sticking it inside of me. I wince as he moves it around, his focus on the screen. He smiles and says, "there it is, there is your baby."
"Our baby," repeats Seth with a smile before he kisses my forehead. "J, look at our baby"
"It's beautiful," I say with tears in my eyes as I see our baby on the screen, it looks different than it did a couple weeks ago, it definitely has a better defined body shape with a head, little arms and little legs. "Seth, we did that."
"Yes we did," he smiles.
"And it looks very healthy, it has a nice heartbeat and it is measuring 8 weeks and 2 days. That would mean you are due December 7th," he says. "Congratulations."
"Thank-you," we say together.
"I can print some pictures off for you if you would like."
"That would be great," I say.
"Not a problem at all," he says, "after this you will come back at 12 weeks to have your NT scan."
"What's an NT scan," asks Seth.
"It's an ultrasound that can be done to see if your baby has any abnormalities such as down syndrome," he says.
"I see," says Seth, "and when can we find out if the baby is a boy or girl?"
"Normally in the past it was 20 weeks, however now with evolving technology and studies there is a blood test that you can have done at 9 weeks to determine the sex, determine genetic disorders such as down syndrome. If you don't want to wait until 12 weeks we can go ahead and do that blood test. Is that something you're interested in?"
"J, what do you think?" he asks, "are we finding out the sex? Do we want to do the blood test?"
"I want to do the blood test simply because Chelsea and Cody have Langston that has down syndrome, so I am interested in finding out, the sooner we know the better to prepare, also I am not opposed to finding out the sex either, is it accurate?"
"99% accurate," he says.
"Then yes, we would like to have the blood test."
"Okay," he says. He schedules us for our blood test and then prints off the pictures of the baby before we schedule our next appointment with him. Then we head home after our appointment.
A/N: What did you think? Were you surprised that Alex figured out Jordyn was pregnant before she told her? What do you think the baby will be? Please review and thank-you for reading.