AN: Hmm, the longer I look at this chapter the less I like it and I still can't tell what it is.

Chapter Title: A third lease on life
ARC 7 - You Are (Not) Alone

"It's only been like a week- did you really think I had forgotten already?" a woman's voice asked from my right.

"Wha…?" my skull was pounding.

When my eye opened I caught sight of Rei.

"I didn't think you'd actually try though… I don't think I can tell your mother about this- it's too much for that woman to have, her shoulders already have so much on them at the moment."

"Where am I?" I asked groggily as I sat up realizing that we were on the forest floor beneath the mountain.

Looking around I saw the cigarette I had been smoking was a few meters away smoke rising from its embers, Dad's packet was sitting next to me undamaged- or at least no less than it was before I got a hold of it.

"I won't say anything about smoking right now, because I'm no better. I used to drink until my mind stopped and always hoped that I wouldn't wake up come morning..." My aunt said ignoring my question. "I understand that pain."

"Thanks." the words fell out of my mouth before I could register the thought.

"You have a loving sister and mother though, so just stick to smoking if it helps you- Izanagi knows you'll need it, but just remember that killing yourself will only make things worse."

"I know it all too well, the ANBU is the worst job anyone could ever get, I probably would've killed myself as well if your Uncle Toyohisa hadn't stopped me that night like I just did for you." her voice was firm and I knew that there was no room for talking at the moment. "I own your life at the moment because of that and with it I say you have to continue living no matter the pain you feel, no matter how hard it gets- we're all here for you."

A few silent minutes passed and the night sky provided us a full moon.

"Have you ever thought about it since?" I asked, looking to her eyes as they met mine.

"At times when things seemed bleak- but thats why I had Erika, because I would hate to know that I left my own flesh and blood alone in this world without someone to be her mother, so here I am getting by and enjoying it where I can. Loving my daughter and hopefully soon I'll have a son- then I can finally stop being a Ninja." She sounded solemn and almost resentful of having ever been a Ninja in the first place.

"That does sound like a good reason..." I sighed audibly as I thought about everything.

"Ume really was right- you do sigh like a maid in love." Rei laughed to herself breaking what serious mood she had set up between us. "Maybe thats it- go find someone to love and that you know you wouldn't dare leave the world while you both loved one another- there's probably a few girls from your class or maybe that archery club you do right?"

I suddenly felt like our serious talk about what happened had turned into something else.

[That wasn't it]

Another week passed and Rei really hadn't told anyone about it.

I was thankful for it, I had kept up with smoking though, mostly I just went for a walk out into the more out of the way parts of the village to do it.

Like right now, I was walking through one of the large parks that were basically just forests, though I think this connected to the training grounds… I hope it didn't. It would be weird if I stumbled into the middle of some people training while out here to smoke. I was dressed in a grey kimono and sandals today as well so I would just come across as some villager looking for a nice spot to sit for a while, and I mean that was what I was doing, but I would prefer to not have that happ-

"Takezou?" A familiar voice cut my thoughts off as they often seemed to do so.

"Ah? Hi?" I turned to where the voice came from and I looked into the eyes of my Sensei, Asuma was smoking a cigarette himself as he leaned against a tree at the edge of the open field I had been about to walk into.

"What- what happened to you?! Holy shit!" the cigarette dropped to the ground and his mouth was agape watching me taking it all in.

"It's been a while Sensei, I'm glad you're okay." I was really glad nothing had happened to him, I really was.

Before I could blink he was in front of me and his arms wrapped around me and he seemed to notice what was really wrong with me aside from my face.

"Your- your arm?! What the hell happened to you?" He sounded worried, it made me happy for some reason to hear it in his voice.

"My Kekkei Genkai got to me- I can't see out of this eye anymore and my arm exploded." I responded solemnly.

"Damn really?" Sensei was really flabbergasted by the whole thing. "Did this happen because you stopped being a Shinobi?"

"Kind of- it was more my negligence because I just stopped using chakra for a while and it caught up with me- anyway how are you doing?" as I asked I put a cigarette into my mouth naturally without really thinking about it.

"Whoa wait what- you're smoking now?" he asked ignoring my question.

"Oh-Uh… yeah, it's a more recent thing I picked up."

"Right... well I'm doing well, though team ten has become a mix of team 7, 9 and 10 with Hinata, Kiba and the Aburame- Shino along with myself, Kakashi and Kurisu the sensei of team 9 all coming and going or occasionally working together with the team to d missions." he lit my cancer stick for me while lighting his own as he answered.

"Really? Hinata, Kiba and Shino? So I guess the team is like a tracking ground now then?" Asuma made a face that seemed to be on the fence about calling it that.

"Kind of, we're in the middle of training now if you want to come over?"

"Sure, I haven't seen Hinata in a long while."

It took us a few minutes to walk over to where they were and on the way Sensei and I caught up and I explained everything a little better and told him about the prosthetic that my grandparents made for Dad that had ended up with me because he had died. Sensei stopped us just to hug me and talk about dad making our walk take a little longer- but it reminded me that Lord Third was his dad and that he died during the exams.

When I caught sight of the team it was actually just Hinata and Kiba, I didn't see Shino anywhere around.

The closer we got the more I realized the two had changed, Akamaru was pretty enormous now, Kiba was wearing a black leather jacket- Hinata… well she had longer hair, and was wearing a different hoodie… she looked beautiful. Yet she was still the girl that I often called my sister and so it made me want to go up to her, give a huge hug and tell her how much I loved and missed having her around...

Kiba had turned and seemed to catch us in his view.

"Hey Sensei! Back from your smoke break!" he called out with a big grin. "And who's this guy? Is he an old friend or something?" he asked, looking at me.

Did I really look that old? Did I really look that different?

"N-" Asuma was about to answer when I cut him off and answered instead.

"Yeah I've known him for a while, my name is Yasuke- what's yours?" I asked, a smile growing as I tapped the cigarette, knocking the ash off it before realizing it was to the filter and crushed it before stuffing the leftover back into the box. I had this old vague memory where I was in the snow talking to a princess and told her that was my name… so I thought I would use it here.

Kiba paused realizing something and went to open his mouth.

"Takezou!?" Hinata's voice sounded so worried and concerned that I almost cried for her with how sad it sounded coming from her and just the way she realized who I was.

Seeing her nearly tear up as I opened my arm out wide and waited for a hug made me see why I had been wrong, that Rei had been right, I had just jumped to conclusions and over stressed myself with everything that was going on.

I could remember Sasuke saying something about my stress lines- they were on a similar level to his brothers.

"I'm glad to see the two of you again." something so true fell from my mouth yet it almost felt fake, though maybe that was something tugging on my mind trying to remind me.

Letting my teammate go from said hug I don't think I could've smiled any brighter really.

"You got taller." I joked looking at the Inuzuka and Hyuuga.

"Yeah well you look like you aged ten years in the few months since we last talked." Kiba poked back, Hinata still being quiet and withdrawn.

We continued to talk for an hour or so and eventually Hinata seemed to return from a distant land/whatever was keeping her mind off the conversation, when she did though she went right into talking like we had when Sasuke was around or when there was training. Like nothing had changed, and I liked that about her for sure, it was nice when people don't focus on my appearance at the moment.

[Forgetting Where]

It really hadn't taken long for me to become addicted to tobacco and smoking.

Something I probably should have seen coming as well considering it all, Mum had found out about it as well, which also hadn't taken long and I also should have seen coming. She did live with a man who presumably smoked for well over two decades after all, she wasn't surprised though but she did ask me for one- which was what led to our current situation where we were sitting on the back patio smoking together.

Mum looked like she'd never done it before in her life, though she had a glass of wine and that wasn't really all that normal as you might have guessed.

My sister was at Ume's on a playdate, so Mum and I were alone for this.

Kaede looked so defeated that it hurt, she had lost a husband half the house was still being remade and her son was sitting next to her smoking her partners cigarettes and looked so far beyond different that he could pass off as being someone else.

She earned being able to drink something alcoholic after all this shit.

Despite all this though I looked forward to everything slowly moving back into what was normal for our family, Mum had taken time off work until the house was fixed then she'd go back, my sister was going to be enrolled in kindergarten or the academy in a few months. I was resuming my Kenjutsu lessons with my class and I would hang out at the Kyudo dojo.

We weren't too far off December either which meant another festival that would have the village celebrating the new year, and… it would snow.

It hadn't snowed in the last decade so I was looking forward to the snow again, plus now that an entire country had changed from snow to- spring? Which was stupid because that doens't make any sense. It was also too bad for them that the machine they were using got busted up and stopped working so it had gone back to being the Land of Snow pretty quick.

Something I hadn't really considered what this really was that all this was another lease on life, the third lease I suppose.

There was that other life I knew of, but not what happened in it, I had lost all connection to it aside from knowing of it.

Was that something I should care about? It felt like something that I had once placed a great amount of fear in losing, like not being myself anymore.

It was a scary thought wasn't it? To not know who you were? To forget who you are. Something that the gods would only know.

Days passed, weeks. Maybe more.

It was like a switch was flipped when the weather changed, one day it was relatively warm and then the next it was as cold as the land of iron.

The snow was beautiful.

We had moved into late November before it had actually begun to fall which meant Winter had come pretty late for the Land of Fire, though that wasn't all that out of place.

AN: Almost there, at the end of the line.