Chapter 5 –Moonlight feels right
-"Would you like to come with me, to my dead-end street…?"
During the first part of their walk, Double D and Marie remained relatively silent. Marie was far too shy and nervous to bring up any one topic in particular, and Double D was too awkward to do it either. The cool spring day was tuning even cooler as the sun dipped further and further towards the horizon, the rising moon now shining down on the two against the greyish-blue sky. They came upon a cross-walk, cars zigging and zagging in either direction, immune to the present of the two. Double D took initiative to press the walk button. The wait was intense, every second ticking slower and slower. Double D let out a nervous whistle as she looked around at the various budding trees and flowers along the sidewalks of the road. Marie simple looked down at her shoes, twisting her ankles to and fro, occasionally stopping to brush her hair over her ear.
Finally the WALK sign light up in bright yellow, and the cars paused long enough to allow the two to walk across the road and down the opposite road. Initially the two began going in opposite directions; Double D walking up the street, and Marie walking down towards an adjacent road. Double D paused for a brief moment, and finally decided to say something to address the situation.
"Where are you going off to, Marie?" he quietly asked her. She halted and turned abruptly around, facing him again.
"I was just uh…going home is all. Going down this road is a short-cut to the trailer park. Do you…uh…want to come with me?" she sheepishly asked.
"Certainly Marie, I wouldn't mind that at all. It's a pretty night out, and this crisp air is really doing wonders for my lungs. So, are we going down this street, then?" Double D asked, pointing his lowly index finger in the direction of the adjacent street.
"Yeah, so let's go…" Marie said as she turned back around, waiting briefly for Double D to catch up with her. The two began walking side-by-side once more, and this time Double D felt more in a talking mood. The moonlight began to grow brighter by the minute.
"So, did you have a relatively decent day at school today, Marie?" Double D asked, sporting a smile.
"It was okay, not the best but not the worst, ya know?" Marie responded, still looking towards the ground. "I was just so nervous about the tutor session that well…it kinda brought down the day…"
"Why ever would you be nervous, wouldn't you assume that I'd be happy to help a struggling fellow student in any way that I can?" Double D asked, looking down at her.
"It's…nothing really. I just get nervous a lot, I don't –" she paused for a second, unscrambling the words in her head, "…I don't really know why, I just get anxious sometimes. I hate that I struggle so much with chemistry. I try hard all the time, but it never helps. Happens in a lot of subjects, really… I just wish it was easy for me, but it's not…"
Double D wasn't really sure what to say. He understood that Marie was nervous and all, but he couldn't comprehend why. Learning and school were easy for him. Ever since he was a boy, he never struggled with anything academic. He just couldn't see how someone could learn day after day and still struggle. He wanted deeply to empathize with Marie, but breaking that barrier was difficult. She basically tortured him as a child, so why was he know supposed to feel any way but negative towards her? He still carried a great deal of resentment; the kind that just doesn't go away at the benign request of a teacher. But he began to see that she had deteriorated from the harsh bully she one was, now to the fragile creature that walked beside him. He couldn't quite make sense of it all, but he understood more now than he did before.
"I'm extraordinarily sorry, Marie. Believe me, I am. I've always been so gifted in these academic subjects that it's difficult for me to understand what it's like to feel desperate and alone once that textbook opens and everything becomes so difficult and complex. But I vow, on this day, that I will help you achieve your passing grade in chemistry!" Double D now pointed his right index finger directly into the air, his sense of purpose never stronger. "I will consider it a grave failure on my part to allow you to not pass, and Lordy I will conduct myself to your studies until you have mastered to art of chemistry!"
His speech had caused a little breathing difficulty, which was quickly restored with a heavy intake breath, which he took sporadically for several seconds. Marie thought for a second, he might be under the spell of an asthma attack; however, he recovered his breathing and she paused for a second, completely awestruck at his speech itself. No one had ever really been so bold for her before, let alone think about her wellbeing. Everyone loved to yell at her for her bad grades, and of course endlessly remind her of how bad they truly were. But never before had someone really pushed themselves to help her, and certainly not with the zeal of Double D's proposal.
The feeling within her stomach trickled as she hadn't felt in quite some time. She was enthralled with this young man that stood next to her, and he didn't know a single thing about it. Every word he spoke struck her like a hammer to an anvil; every phrase strung her heart and made her feel lighter than air. It was as if gold poured from his lips, and glitter shimmered itself around him. In her imagination, in her thoughts, no one was better than him. And now, for the first time, he was giving her the positive attention she so desperately craved. But she had no idea how to handle it, she never thought she'd even get this far. Now was a landscape only touched upon in her girlish daydreams, unknown in the realms of reality.
"Thank you so much!" she said, first the first time cracking the glimpse of a smile. "I really appreciate this, Double D! I know we might not have the best past between us, but I'm very thankful that you're here now to help me! I couldn't imagine taking that class again…no offense." She said, this time looking up at him.
"Oh, that's quite alright Marie…" Double D responded, this time looking towards the group of birds that gathered on a nearby tree. He found their song to be quite refreshing and beautiful. "I was, however, slightly hesitant at first about this whole ordeal I will admit. Considering the cruelties that occurred in the past, I was a little scared to say the least. But I'm fortunate to know that it's no longer the case."
"Yeah…I don't know what my deal was back then," Marie said with a nervous chuckle, "…just a mean little girl I guess, I dunno…I have a lot of regrets. I'm sorry…." Marie now tucked her head, not realizing that she was thinking out loud just then. She looked up at Double D with her blushed face, who in return looked back at her with his typical grin. The two, for the second time, shared a very brief eye contact. Marie smiled back at him, the sounds of explosions taking place in her mind. For Double D, there was a calm peacefulness: the treaty had been signed, and a former enemy converted into a friend.
The two walked on in silence for a short while before the visage of the trailer park emerged from behind a row of leafless trees, blanketed in a thin fog. Marie stopped for a second to poke her eye around the trailer directly ahead, the one which she calls home. She spotted her mother's car, a well-used 1994 Toyota Celica. The gold color of the car shimmered as the moon hit it at just all the right angles, revealing nothing more than fool's gold.
"Welp, looks like I'm home now…" Marie said, frowning slightly at the sight of her dilapidated old trailer, rust creeping in from the bottom; with the three wooden steps leading to the front door beginning to feel the effects of weathered rot. "I'll see you on Monday then, Double D. Thanks so much for your help. Bye…" Marie waved her right hand at him and walked backwards at first.
"Farwell, Marie! I hope your learning session today was constructive, and I will see you again on Monday for our next lesson!" Double D waived in return before turning around. Now how am I to navigate this cursed path to get back home. I suppose I could take the normal road down to the alley, and then from the alley to the cul-de-sac. Yes, that's sounds like the appropriate path.
Marie stepped up the creaking, rotted stairs to the aluminum screen-door, painted a sickly powder white. As she pushed the button on the handle and opened the door, loud squeaking echoed out over the quiet trailer park like a bat screeching. The panel-wood door was then turned open, and the strong scent of Lysol hit as Marie closed the door behind her.
May was stationed on the sofa as Marie walked in, curled up in a ball as she watched one of her programs on television.
"May, what are you watching now? Some kind of delusional soap opera?" Marie quipped as she walked towards her, pausing for a brief second to look at the TV screen, marred by as much static as program.
"Come off it, Marie! I'm just watching something until Dad comes to pick me up! Now go away!" May responded, her long blonde hair waving back and forth as she shook her hand in the air.
"Don't use that snobby tone with me, May! Don't make me have to-" Marie began to push her sleeve up as a dark figure walked into the lamp-illuminated living room. A voice called out:
"Girls, you quit this fighting now! You know I don't like it one bit! And May, you better go wait outside anyway, your father will be here soon to pick you up."
"But mommm, I just started watching my show…!" May whined out as she hugged her knees.
"Ooh clam up May, you're always watching your shows!" Marie taunted at her, hands on her hips.
"Marie you stop that!" the figure yelled out, "Now tell your sister you're sorry before she leaves!"
"I'm sorry May…" Marie said in a half-mocking tone, clasping her hands together in front of her. May's only response was to blow a raspberry in Marie's general direction.
"May, you go and wait for your dad. Marie, I could really use your help cleaning this kitchen."
"Okay mom…." Both sisters replied in unison as Marie ambled over to the doorway which shrouded the dark figure; May likewise got up, strapped her pink book-bag around her shoulders, and walked towards the door, but not before giving the dark figure a gentle hug.
"Bye honey…" the figure said, hugging in return "You behave yourself at daddy's, and you use your manners, you hear me!"
"Yes ma'am…I will…" May responded, moving towards the front door.
"See ya May…" Marie called out to her sister.
"Bye Marie…" May said as the panel-wood door closed behind her, the screen door hissing out once more before silence filled the room again. The TV was now overtaken by static and snow, the harsh hissing hurting the ears of those in the room before Marie had the courage to walk over and bang on the top of the TV, causing the image of the local news to reappear in more vivid black-and-white.
The figure, which had remained shrouded in darkness, now stepped forward into the soft lamp-light of the living room. Mother Kanker, the woman herself, if she be so bold. She was a strong-yet-frail looking woman, of average height and possibly a little overweight, but nothing outrageous for her age of 43. Reddish-brown hair cascaded in length down to just above her shoulders, her wrinkled skin possessing its fair-share of freckles. Her face bore the weather-and-wear of decades of torment, neglect, and want. But strong as she ever was, she pushed through in her feminine form. She wore only the most basic of makeup, with her natural features still quite visible. She still had her work-uniform on, a sort-of scrubs outfit that she wore at the retirement home that she worked at.
"Ready to tackle some of those dishes then, Marie?" her mother asked, hands on her hips. Her voice was of the sweetest kinds, but definitely carried with it a sense of nervousness and emotional damage.
"Sure mom, let's go…" Marie responded as she followed her mother into the darkness of the kitchen.
"Why's it so dark in here, mom?" Marie asked, confused and not knowing exactly where to place her feet in front of her. Only the dissipated lamp-light from the living room gave any visibility.
"Damn bulb busted…" her mother replied, "Could you get the step-ladder out of the laundry room so I can change it, please?"
"Of course Mom, be back in a sec…" Marie felt her way around the kitchen furnishings like a blind man in order to find her way to the laundry room, which sat in the back of this particular trailer. She made her way to the door way and flipped the light on, finding the rickety and rusted step-ladder leaning up against the wall opposite the old dented washing machine. She again felt her way back to the kitchen and felt for her mother, who now took the ladder in her hands and popped it open with her foot, causing a loud thud to echo across the kitchen.
"Thanks, Marie…" her mother said as she mounted the step-ladder and the twisting sound of the old bulb was heard, that scratching and screeching noise that it was. "Here Marie…" she said as she handed her daughter the old bulb, before taking the new one and twisting it into the socket. Soon light flickered on and illuminated the whole room in a yellow wash of light, causing both mother and daughter to sigh in relief with a unisoned Ahhh.
Marie's mom climbed down off the step ladder (that impossible height of two steps that it was). Marie tossed the old bulb into the trash, as her mother collapsed the rusty old step-ladder and laid it against the refrigerator. Marie was quick to return it to its right position in the laundry room.
"Jesus, everything around here is rusting up…" her mother said as she dusted her hands off, "the ladder, the front door. Eventually we won't be able to get out and have to cut a hole in the roof!" She chuckled quietly to herself as Marie returned from the wash-room. Her mother had already busied herself with washing the dishes when the sounds of tires crunching on gravel filled the air. It was the GMC Sonoma truck which belonged to May's father, coming to pick his daughter up for the weekend. A couple of doors popped and closed, and the crunching sound was heard once more as the truck backed out and pulled away. Marie and her mother paid little attention to this; it was a normal sound of Friday nights.
"So how was your day at school, honey?" her mother asked as she began drying a plate with a towel.
"Oh, it was…alright." Marie said, elbow deep in a sink filled with dirty dishes, viciously scrubbing away with an old tattered sponge.
"Just alright?" Ms. Kanker responded, placing the plate in the cabinet above.
"Well, Dr. Strickland said I'm not doing so well in chemistry…" she said, looking away for that moment.
"Wait, don't tell me, please don't tell me you're failing again…" her mother said, placing her right hand upon the countertop behind her, bracing for the worst news possible.
"…No, no not that…" Marie was fibbing, but she thought to herself for a moment, who doesn't fib every now and then? She knew that Lee fibbed all the time to their mom, and so this little one wouldn't hurt any. It was self-preservation, because if her mom knew that she was failing that class, again, consequences could possibly become capital. Nothing is worse to a mother's ears than that their child is not doing their best.
"So you're not failing then…?" she asked her daughter in a more uplifted tone than the grave one prior.
"Oh, no. Just not doing very well. But Strickland assigned me a tutor so that I can bump up my grade before the year ends." She said, more confident now that her cheap trick actually pulled off.
"You hope that it helps you get that grade up, you mean…" Ms. Kanker replied, drying another plate with the same towel as before. "You can't rely on others Marie, I thought I'd taught you girls that long ago. You have to be the one that lights that fire under your ass and gets to work!"
"I know mom,…I know…" she responded, scrubbing away at a crusted-up plate, likely left by Lee. Damn you, Lee! She thought to herself.
"Well, is the tutor anybody you know?" her mom asked.
"Yeah,…he's a boy from the cul-de-sac on the next street over. Really smart, he helped me out a lot today…" Marie said as she placed the now clean plate on the drying rack.
"A boy…!" her mother said in a teasing tone, "Is he cute…?"
"Mommm!" Marie said, blushing now more than ever. "But yes, he's very…kind, and sweet."
"You like him, don't you…?" she asked, again lifting up her motherly teasing tone.
"I'm not gonna tell you that, mom! Geez it was just one tutor session, not a make-out session…"
"I'm no spring chicken, Marie! I was a girl once too, remember. I remember getting all hot and steamy over those special guys in high school. Lee's father was definitely one…" she said with a nostalgic smile upon her face, letting out a mournful yet gentle sigh.
"Yeah, don't remind me…" Marie said, eager to change the subject to anything else.
"Well, if you ever need a good mother-daughter advice talk, my door is always open…" said her mom as she polished the plate that Marie had just washed and placed it in the cupboard. "I'm going out for a smoke now, you okay finishing these up?"
"Sure mom, you go ahead. I'll take it from here…" Marie responded, busying herself on a Kool-Aid stained glass, likely also Lee's.
"Thank you sweetie…" her mother said as she gave her daughter a very gentle side-hug and kissed the top of her head. Marie's face tinged with a little annoyance, but that's what moms do after all.
Ms. Kanker went out onto the front steps, the creaking door closing slowly behind her. The day had transitioned itself to twilight, and the hazy blue-black sky was now in full illumination of the bright moon, which shined on as she took a pack of menthol Marlboros from her shirt pocket and lit it with her plastic lighter. Smoke drifted into the moonlight as she sat down on the barely-stable wooden steps, rethinking memories long gone in her head, nostalgia playing back like a memorial tape. The rust and dirt of the trailer really looked striking in the dull moonlight, as the woman sat and dragged off her cigarette, enjoying her smoke and memories of days long gone, and people long gone.