Chapter 11

Cold, but not Frozen

"I can't do this!" Kagome yelled, throwing down the stick Sesshomaru had handed her, crossing her arms across her chest. She turned from him in a tantrum, refusing to train any further. Sesshomaru simply narrowed his eyes, before raising the stick in his hand and not relenting on his attack.

He knew that training could be hard, he had lived through it. He held back none with the woman, other than his physical strength. He saw potential in her, and knew she would be a strong alley. It was wise on his part to have her on his side, and he was no fool. Giving up was not an option. Not only that, but for her safety as well.

Sesshomaru had promised to protect her and he didn't break his promises. Not to mention some internal part of him refused to see the miko hurt in any way, and while he didn't think to much on the why, he needed her trained. If she could protect herself, it would ease his worry. Plus, she could protect Rin and Shippo better, and that would always be an added bonus.

So he felt no remorse as his twig snapped against Kagome's back sending her to the ground with a squeal that quickly turned into a cry of outrage. Kagome decided to forgo the stick entirely and charged for Sesshomaru, attempting to jump on him. He of course step just out of the way and watched as she fell to the ground with a grunt. Had he been a lesser her male he might have winced at the impact. However, this was training.

"Your enemy will not show mercy because you are tired, Woman." Sesshomaru growled, his steps even and confident as he circled around Kagome taking in her hunched over and panting form. "Retrieve your weapon and fight. This Sesshomaru will not wait any longer."

"Fuck you." Kagome spat, and Sesshomaru was stunned at her language. She had been having bouts of anger these last few days, and he wasn't sure what was bringing them on. He wasn't any harder on her than he normally was, and for the longest time he thought her anger was only directed towards InuYasha. But now she was snapping at anyone that wasn't Rin or Shippo. Even Kirara wasn't free from her ire, and Sesshomaru was beginning to lose his patience with the female.

He growled again, waiting on the woman to move, but she didn't. She just kept panting as she kneeled on her hands and knees. Just as he bent to strike her form, she grabbed a rock, and threw it at him, not even looking were it landed as she took off and ran. Unlucky for Sesshomaru it met right with his groin and he grunted, hunched over slightly as his eyes bled red. The bitch had just crossed the line.

He let her escape for now, giving himself a chance to recover before he straightened and lifted his nose to the air. There wasn't much scent around them really. Most of it was muted, except hers and his. While it normally bothered him, in this case he was happy for it. It took no effort in tracking her.

He reached her in a matter of seconds, grabbed her arm, and effortlessly threw her into the air. He measured the strength used perfectly and when her screaming stopped to be replaced with a splash, he grin sadistically. The bitch was going to learn today.

He flashed stepped to the woman as she was crawling from the pond she had landed in. She was muttering about dogs and fools, and he charged, slamming her against the ground and leaning on top of her. His massive body swallowed hers, and her eyes grew wide as she met his red ones. His hair fell over his shoulder, his knees on either side of her waist. She was completely blocked off to the world outside of him.

His hand, which had been placed on a breast to keep her secure to the hard earth beneath her, move up to her throat and gripped the thin appendage. Instantly fear permeated the air around him and he growled in appreciation at the scent. He loved the smell of fear and blood, especially when combined. For a moment he thought about drawing her blood to get that satisfaction, especially since he had been nothing but confused around her, but something inside of him stop his actions.

Slowly his hand released her neck and relocation to the earth beside her head. He leaned down farther, his face inching past hers so his lips were close to her ear. "I am not your enemy, miko." With those whispered words he pushed himself from the ground, eyes never leaving the soaking went woman still staring at him. "Nor are your comrades."

"Comrades? You mean Sango, Miroku, and the others? Of course they aren't my enemy. If anything there my family." Kagome countered, pushing herself from the ground and glaring at Sesshomaru. Why in the world would he think that?

"Yet, you treat them as if they are not." Sesshomaru replied, his eyes never leaving hers and she looked at him confused, not understanding what he was saying. "Not but a few minutes ago, you cursed at this one, then proceeded to injure this Sesshomaru the only way possible for you."

"Injure you?" Kagome asked, looking over the demon and trying to find some wounds. She didn't see any at all and her eyes went back up to his, his eyebrow lifted in slight amusement.

"I am male, miko." He explained, and the intense blush that lit up her face told him that she understood what he was saying. He smirked slightly before wiping that from his face and frowned as he realized the woman had caused his mask to slip.

He had no idea what he was feeling to this woman, but he didn't like it. It was making him lose control. A few times he thought he just needed to find someone to rut with, but he wasn't able to. During the day, he was a mortal dog, and while he could find a female to mount, none would let him unless they were in heat. He had no desire for pups, especially those that would be his mortal counter part. The idea was repulsive. While he slept, the only interaction he had was Kagome, and he knew sleeping with her would just make the problem worse. That was out of the question.

"Have I really been so horrible? To everyone?" Kagome asked, her voice breaking and pulling him from his thoughts. He looked her over, and saw the tears in her eyes as well as smelled them. He knew then her problem was steaming from InuYasha's rejection. She was still grieving.

"Indeed. Not only to me, but to those you call family." He answered truthfully. He didn't lie. At times he told only what he needed without actually answering, but it was never a lie. He wouldn't start lying to the woman now.

"I'm sorry." She breathed, turning to walk away. He watched as she made her way to the pond, removed her shows and sat down to submerge her feet in the water. She was hunched over and silent, but he knew she had more to say. "Maybe InuYasha is right. Maybe I'm not cut out for this world."

Sesshomaru was silent at first, thinking of what to say. He was angry at his half brother for breaking down the female, but there was nothing that could be done at this point. Sesshomaru didn't hold enough of an impact in the miko's life to influence her thoughts of herself, and if he wanted that to change, he would have to take another route. "You are what you believe. If you believe the half breed, then no, you are not cut out for this world."

Kagome looked up at hi for a moment, her blue eyes meeting his gold and she nodded. She wasn't sure how she felt at the moment, but Sesshomaru still helped her. She shouldn't listen to InuYasha. He chose another woman, therefore, his opinion of Kagome never mattered. It still hurt though, and until that passed, this wouldn't be easy for her.

"Have you ever been in love?" Kagome asked suddenly, looking up to the night sky. The stars were bright and lit up the earth so she could see properly. She knew she wouldn't get an answer from the daiyokai, but she couldn't stop herself from asking. Something told her to do it, so she did.

She was surprised when he softly sat beside, his legs crossed beneath him. He leaned back on his hands, and looked to the sky much like she had been moments before. For a moment, he looked completely approachable and even somewhat human. He was beautiful, and she wondered how she never really noticed before, but then remembered she dare look at him for too long.

"I am much older than you, Miko." He said, and Kagome looked towards his face, not surprised that he was in much the same position. The only difference was his eyes closed as if he was sleeping peacefully.

Kagome scoffed at his answer, knowing that he would say something like that. She was human after all, and he would always think lowly of her. "Is that your way of telling me your too mature to fall in love with someone?" Pulling her knees to her chest, and her feet from the water.

"No." He replied, and Kagome's eyes snapped towards him, and she was surprised to see him looking straight towards her. Something unguarded in his eyes. It was an old pain she never had seen before, and it took her breath away suddenly realizing what he meant.

He had been in love before, and something had happened to ruin that. When he said he was old, he most likely meant that when ever this happened she had not even been born. InuYasha may not have even been born at the time either. She really had no idea how of either one of them were, or the age difference between the two.

"It didn't work out?" She asked, and his eyes looked skyward again. Something told her he wasn't completely willing to talk about this, but for some unknown reason he was.

"No." He supplied, questioning the same thing Kagome just was. He talked about this to no one, and he had no idea why he was now. There was a reason he keeps this buried.

"Does the pain lessen over time? Or does it stay and haunt your forever?" Kagome asked, leaning back and laying against the ground. This way she had a perfect view of the stars and the daiyokai still beside her.

"This Sesshomaru is not the one to ask."

"Why? Do you still love her?" Kagome guessed, watching his body language. He suddenly scoffed and laid on the ground beside her, still looking skyward. He was silent as she waited and sudden'y she wondered if she had gone to far. "You know I won't ever judge you, right? If you love her or if you are the one to have hurt her I won't think any less of you. Everyone has there reasons."

"I killed her." Sesshomaru blurted, and Kagome could feel him tense at her gasp. She turned her head towards him, looking over his tight features and wondering what exactly happened to cause him to be that angry, and she hoped she never made him that angry.

"Why in the world did you do that?" She exclaimed, wanting to know the entire story. She wouldn't think bad of him yet. There could be plenty of reasons for his actions. After all, death was common in this era, and she had to look at this objectively.

"She chose another. " Sesshomaru answered, and Kagome face palmed, even more confused at this point in time. She sat up slightly and leaned over Sesshomaru, noticing the way his eyes narrowed at their close proximity. To be honest, she wasn't very surprised at what he admitted. It was just so Sesshomaru.

"Okay, Mister." Kagome stated, her tone not to be played with as she poked the demon lord in the chest, ignoring his growl. "I need to know the entire story now. So start talking."

"miko-" He growled, but stopped when Kagome covered his mouth with her hand. His eyes narrowed further, and he nipped at her flesh, internally groaning as he tasted blood along his fangs. Kagome yelped and pulled her hand back, holding it to her chest. He was surprised when she turned to glare at him instead of being frightened. Ultimately he went easy on her, and he just assumed she knew that.

Sighing in defeat he grabbed her hand and brought it back to his mouth. He had barely broken the skin, so it only took one swipe of his tongue to heal the wound and when he was done, he let her fingers go and watched as she inspected her now healed hand.

"That's nifty." Kagome whispered, before turning back to Sesshomaru and giving him an expectant look. "I'm waiting."

"You are infuriating." He grumbled, feeling more of his walls break away as he looked back towards the sky. His clawed hand clutched at the cloth above his beating heart and he wondered for the thousandth time what was happening to him.

"So I've been told. But it changes nothing. What happened, Sesshomaru?" She continued, her voice soft as she looked at him. He met her eyes for a moment and growled in annoyance at how easily. He gave. He wasn't sure why he had spoken this much in the first place.

"She was my betrothed from another land. It was arranged, and at first this Sesshomaru had no interest. Our fathers pushed us together, forcing us to interact. It didn't take long before we became attracted to each other." Sesshomaru started, his eyes glazing as he relived a moment he had buried away many years ago.

"Hold on, how old were you?" Kagome interrupted, and Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. Kagome huffed, getting the message to be quiet and ushered him to continue on.

"This Sesshomaru is old, Miko. I do not have a true recollection of my age. The half breed at this time had been conceived, but not born. To continue with the story, things between the female and this one escalated. It didn't take long before she announced her pregnancy."

"You're a father?!" Kagome screeched, shocked beyond belief.

"Do you wish to hear the story, or make your own conclusions?" Sesshomaru countered, secretly confused at the woman's reaction. Why did he have so much patience with this female, when normally he would have killed many a long time ago. Kagome sighed and made a weird motion with her hand dover her lips before tossing something invisible over her shoulder. He had no idea what she was doing, but didn't question knowing the woman was weird anyway.

"This Sesshomaru was not ready for a pup. I was still considered a teenager to many, and learning that she carried was a shock. However, I would not leave my pup without a father, and instead stepped up as I should." Sesshomaru paused, and Kagome was surprised as Sesshomaru dropped the third person. He was speaking freely as if for a moment he forgot he was royal. "I doted on her, and offered to mate her so the pup would not be born a bastard, but she refused. It was strange, and I knew this, but I continued to try and offer her the option of mating. She was not far along when we were attacked. It was just the two of us, and she was unable to fight. I was surrounded, and nearly defeated. In the end, I sent them all to the depths of hell, but not before they reached the female."

Kagome opened her mouth to say something, but this time it was Sesshomaru who covered her mouth. She returned the same gesture as him and nipped at his fingers, but he simply raised an eyebrow and internally laughed at her. She crossed her arms over her chest, and glared at him, but he simply removed his hand and continued speaking.

"She survived, however, the attack and the injuries she sustained sent her into early labor. The pup did not make it. In fact, the pup wasn't a pup at all. It was a mixed breed. Half Inu, half neko." Sesshomaru admitted. "She and I were both Inu." Sesshomaru only paused as Kagome grabbed his hand and squeezed it. The gesture caught him off guard, and he was tempted to pull away, but he hesitated, and in that hesitation he realized he liked the feel of his large hand in hers. He liked it so much, he changed the position of their hands, and instead held hers in his. He had no idea what he was doing or why, but for the life of him he couldn't stop.

"The child was not mine. She had been unfaithful. In a rage I killed her, and killed the male that touched what was mine." Sesshomaru finished, his eyes watching as a shooting star crossed the sky at that precise moment.

"I bet no one sent there daughters your way after that. Knowing you that would have made you happy." Kagome joked, and he turning to her, surprised that she was taking this so easily. She must have seen that surprise because she wasted no time in explaining it to him. "You're a demon Sesshomaru. I know your kind are different than humans. No I don't agree with killing unless you have to, but your mindset would be different. I wont lie. There are times I think about sabotaging InuYasha and Kikyou, but I refuse to be that person."

"Hn." Sesshomaru grunted, still so shocked by the understanding this woman held. Most would cringe away from him, but instead she sat there smiling in his direction, and holding onto his hand. He sat up abruptly, something inside of him snapping and she jumped slightly, her eyes wide as she looked into his fierce ones.

He had an overwhelming desire to press his lips to hers and it was something he couldn't fight. He wanted to taste her, and he would. It was as he was leaning closer to her, that he realized she was moving towards him. She wanted to kiss him just as much. She felt the same urge as him, and he growled glad to know he wasn't the only one losing control of his body.

He could damn near taste her as he felt her breath mingling with hers, and he leaned forward, determined to remove an distance from between them. Imagine his surprise when his lips met with nothing as the woman vanished into thin air. Sesshomaru snarled as everything went dark around him, and when he opened his eyes, he was in the real world, the sounds of fighting and screaming around him.

Kagome stood beside him, grabbing her bow and immediately standing in front of the children. Sesshomaru did the same, standing beside her as Titan, and looking for whatever was coming their way. They were under attack and he had a very good reason to hate the incoming enemy. At that point he was determined to taste the miko, and this thing ruined it. He would taste blood instead.

…sSs…

A nice little moment between the two. It will still be awhile before they get together though. After all Kagome is still healing. But this is a step in the right direction. I hope you all enjoy.