Chapter 14

Thoughts and Answers

Kagome sighed as she laid on her bed, the softness lost on her as she relaxed. Normally she would be happy to be home and able to get a break from the other world, but this time, not so much. Her mind wouldn't leave the two males behind, and even now, she was stuck thinking about them. She was more confused than she had ever been.

She knew she had to let InuYasha go, that hadn't changed. But what shocked her was how quickly it seemed he was fading from her heart. It had only been a few weeks since she decided to let Kikyou and InuYasha be, and in those weeks, it was as if InuYasha had hardly been important to her. Wasn't he her first love? She thought with every being in her body that, that had been the case, but now she wasn't so sure.

Yes, she still felt a pang of hurt when InuYasha went to see Kikyou, or she caught him looking longingly away from the group when he couldn't go to her, but not like it should. It upset her because of her pride. She didn't have much of it at all, but she still thought she was better than something dead that steals souls to be able to walk on this earth, but, according to InuYasha she wasn't. That was what hurt. Every time he went to her or wanted to, she was reminded that she was less than a pile of dead soil. She felt useless and inferior, and that wasn't something she had ever had to bother with before she met InuYasha.

That didn't sit well with her. Turning on her bed, she bent her elbow and used it as a pillow, staring at the wall. Before InuYasha, she had never thought so low of herself. Before she had never realized it, but now that he no longer had a hold on her she was able to see things she hadn't been able to before. Her self-image was one of them. She used to think herself pretty. Not so much that she became arrogant, but enough that she was perfectly okay with her image. Now she can't even wear the miko robes of the past without feeling like Kikyou looks better in them than she does, and that is just ridiculous.

In reality, she needs to wear Kimonos of some sort while in the past. Going around wearing her school uniform gets expensive. She is always coming home and having to sew up a hole or buy a new outfit. And if she simply wore a kimono of the past, that could fix everything. But it was hard for her to do so. She didn't want to be copying Kikyou even more than she already was. She sighed again, and ran a hand through her hair. Was she copying Kikyou? She knew realistically, she shouldn't care what the other woman did, but she had been pining after InuYasha for so long and competing with her incarnation, it was ingrained in her to try and beat the dead miko. Even if she felt she never could.

An exasperated groan left her and she flopped back to her back. This is what she meant. She was in her time, supposed to be relaxing, and her mind had gone back to Kikyou. InuYasha had ruined any self-esteem she had in herself, and she wasn't okay with that. She knew any male worth having would build up their significant other, not tear them down. Still though, she wondered if she was getting over InuYasha too quick. She always thought it would take longer.

Raising her hand, she brought her fingers to her lips and pressed against them. She still felt Sesshomaru's lips against hers. Sesshomaru alone was enough of a reason for her to be confused. Not only was she still looking for a way to break his curse, she now had to wonder what was going through his head, and what the hell he meant to her. That kiss… She had never been kissed like that before. It literally left her weak and panting, and she wanted more. So much more. She could barely even explain it. But this was Sesshomaru she was kissing. The human hating demon lord of the west. He despised every human other than Rin, and Kagome was definitely a human. So why did Sesshomaru kiss her?

After that kiss, he had started acting strange towards her, even as Titan. He was being careless in keeping his identity a secret, and she had to play dumb to keep him from realizing. She was still waiting on him to come to her about that, and she had a feeling it would be soon. Earlier today she literally had to set up a trap for him to keep him from following her to the well. He'll be angry when she goes to sleep, but she couldn't risk him finding out about the future. If he knew that demons didn't exist… well, she didn't want to think about that.

She had no idea what Sesshomaru meant to her at this point, and she didn't know if she wanted to know. Ultimately, she was still angry at the entire InuYasha situation even if he was out of her heart. She didn't know if she wanted to even remotely think about another male. Let alone a full demon that despised her very kind. But he was the one to kiss her, wasn't he? Maybe he doesn't hate her kind as much as she thought. Or maybe she was just special. No that wasn't it. She had no answers what so ever, and that was tiring. Maybe she should just find a nice human boy to be with. She chuckled at that. That was too boring.

"Kagome?" Hatomi called softly, her knuckles tapping on the door. She stood in the door way, looking at her daughter and smiled. Kagome was now at an age where things started to become confusing and Hatomi had waited for this day for some time. Her little girl was growing up, and she was one step closer to bringing home some grandkids for Hatomi to spoil.

"Yea, mom." Kagome replied, sitting up on the bed. Her long hair fell to lower back, and tickled the small amount of skin that peaked from under her shirt.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hatomi asked, walking to Kagome's computer chair and sitting down. She waited patiently on Kagome to speak, hoping that her daughter would confide in her. She would never push Kagome into speaking about it if she didn't want to, but Hatomi could hope.

With a sigh, Kagome began. "It's InuYasha and his brother?"

"Brother?"

"Half-brother. They hate each other. At least somewhat. I think it goes deeper than that. I think most of it is actually a miscommunication on both parts." Kagome explained, picking at her bed spread.

"And this is what is bothering you?" Hatomi asked, a knowing smile on her face.

Kagome blushed, and looked away from her mother. "No… As you know… InuYasha couldn't choose between Kikyou and me…"

"And I assume he chose if his brother is in this equation." Hatomi supplied, and Kagome nodded.

"Yea. I'm not upset. I mean I was, but not anymore. Its been awhile since this has happened. Well before I was injured in the past." Hatomi nodded at her daughter, really not wanting to think about that. Those few weeks Kagome went missing was the scariest of her life. Luckily Kagome continued on. "I don't know mom. I have no idea what I feel for Sesshomaru, but I feel like its too soon to be over InuYasha.

"Well, the heart knows best. Kagome, I adore InuYasha. You know that. He has had a terrible childhood, and that has led him to the adult he is today. He will always have a place in this family, no matter what. But I never thought he was husband material." Hatomi admitted, holding up her hand as her shocked daughter began to ask a question. "He is grown, but he has the emotional stability of a boy. He isn't ready to settle down and have a wife, let alone have a family. And I knew one day, you, a woman who has always been mature for her age would notice this. And you have."

"As far as the time taken to get over InuYasha… you can't judge something like that based on what other people tell you. They can't tell you how your heart will work. Most likely once you accepted that nothing would become of you and InuYasha, you started to see every little flaw that made him not for you. And with each short coming, your heart pushed him out more and more."

"That makes it sound like he is a horrible person." Kagome grumbled. What her mother said made sense, but she didn't know how she felt felt about that.

"Not at all. InuYasha is a wonderful boy, and he is perfect for someone. Just not you." Hatomi chuckled, watching as Kagome's shoulders relaxed. She could see how just this talk had helped Kagome to relax, however… "Now, tell me about this brother."

Kagome tensed immediately again. And this time, Hatomi really thought Kagome was going to clam up and not speak anymore, but luckily the older woman didn't have to worry about, because Kagome opened up more than she ever thought.

"It started because he is cursed…" And Hatomi listened, surprised yet amused at the older brothers situation. She didn't know how she would react to being turned into a dog, and having dreams with someone she barely knew. But as she watched Kagome talk about Sesshomaru, she saw a light coming from her daughter that she had never seen before. Kagome was damn near glowing, and Hatomi couldn't keep the smile from her face as she watched. It was clear the bond between Kagome and Sesshomaru was strong and was only going to grow stronger.

"I can't wait to meet him." Hatomi cut in, laughing as her daughter blushed prettily

…CBCH…

A week later brought Kagome on the other side of the well. She sat atop of it, looking at the unchanged nature around her. She took a deep breath, breathing in the clean air. She loved this time and she hoped when they finally defeated Naraku, she would be able to keep traveling back and forth, but she knew that was unlikely. She would most likely have to choose, and she had no idea what to do.

"You are late." A deep voice sounded in her head, and she smiled, looking towards the large white dog that was staring her down.

"By three minutes." She argued, reaching out to pet Titans head as he approached her. He rubbed against her, and they took comfort in each others warmth.

"You are dressed differently." Sesshomaru commented, looking at the miko's attire, and Kagome blushed. She had finally worked up the nerve to buy a few sets of Kimonos. She was tired of ruining her school uniforms. Luckily she was on her last year of high school, but still. The Kimonos she bought are supposed to be durable, and the hide the suit she had on underneath. It was much like Sango's outfit. When she needed to fight, all she had to do was shed her outer layer, and she was much more agile.

"I know what the villagers call me behind my back. Plus this helps me to blend in more." She explained, with a shrug of her shoulders.

"The villagers are fools." Sesshomaru replied vehemently, before turning away from her slightly. "The look suits you."

"Thank you." Kagome whispered, blushing again as she petting the dogs head. She ran her fingers through his soft fur, causing his tail to wag in the process. Though as soon as he realized he growled and tucked his tail beneath him. She couldn't help but to chuckle at his antics.

"Tell me, Miko, do you know who this one is?" He asked suddenly making Kagome narrow her eyes in confusion. She hadn't expected this conversation so quickly, but she was glad it was here. It meant he was beginning to trust her.

"Sesshomaru." She breathed, and Sesshomaru turned towards her, cocking his head.

"How long have you known."

"Since you first spoke to me after rolling down a hill." She explained, and smirked at his dead panned expression. The great Sesshomaru doesn't roll down a hill.

"You did not speak of it." Sesshomaru commented. His mind was going a million miles an hour though. Kagome had, had every chance to hurt him, even degrade him, but instead, she chose to keep his secret. She kept him safe from InuYasha and everyone else and had no reason to do so. It caused him to pull towards her even more. Currently his heart was thumping in his chest, and he had no idea why. But it never failed to do so when he was around the miko.

"You had your reasons fro keeping it a secret. I wanted you to know that you could trust me, so I didn't say anything. But you're lucky only I can hear you. Your voice isn't easily forgettable." Kagome admitted, then looked at Sesshomaru, surprised to see his lips drawn back in a terrifying snarl. She realized quickly though, that was his way of Smiling, and she knew he was about to aggravate her again.

"You remember what this ones voice sounded like Kagome, I can't help but to wonder why?" He asked, his voice giving away his tone. She knew if he was in his humanoid form, he would have a shit eating grin plastered to his face.

Kagome blushed and stood from the well. "We should get back to the others." There was no way she was answering that question. Sesshomaru's voice was enough to cause a chill travel down her spine. Nope. He didn't need anymore of an ego boost. "Come on, puppy." Kagome called, like she would call a pet.

That smile fell quickly from Sesshomaru's face as he growled. The launched himself after Kagome as she squealed and took off running towards the village. Her laugh was left behind in that clearing, leaving an air of happiness that others could feel.