"Oh good, you're awake"

Henry stated in a rather nervous and awkward inflection. Margaret slowly looked around, realizing, she too, was in a cold, cast iron Army bed with sub-par sheets. It took a moment or two to collect herself before she could speak.

"What happened?"

Her voice fairly groggy. Henry couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Ya passed out, Major. But you should be good to go now"

"You can say that again"

She hears one of Hawkeye's many suggestive nuances. She scoffs in disgust and looks over to see she's been placed in the bed right next to his.

"C'mon, Major. It'll be just like in Seoul all over ag-"

"Pierce, enough!"

She snapped. Cutting him off whilst he simultaneously patted the bed, in yet another one of his not-so-subtle innuendos. Margaret throws the blanket off her legs and springs from the bed. Henry appearing a bit intrigued.

"Soo, what *did* go on in Seoul between yo-"

"-Nothing, nothing happened!"

Again, she was quick to stonewall any mention made of Seoul. However, she knew this would be just a fruitless effort. Henry already deduced Hawkeye was pregnant. Even for him, it wouldn't require much brainpower to connect the two. And Frank was already a little too suspicious. She quickly tidies her hair and leaves to resume her duties.

"Well, that was somethin' "

The older man stated. Obvious confusion bordering his words. He, once again, finds himself seated at the edge of Hawkeye's bed. Awkward chuckling escapes him.

"I'm not tryin' to meddle in your affairs, Pierce. But the way she acted got me wonderin'. Almost like she's the baby's mother"

This alone nearly had the poor Captain choking on his saliva. He was not prepared for something of that magnitude coming from Blake. It all became real to him, this wasn't just a figment of Hot Lips' vivid imagination. He was carrying her child. He shuts his eyes briefly, inhaling deeply, before he could continue with any further conversation.

"Actually, Henry.. that's because she *is* the baby's mother. (Deep sigh) it happened during our stay in Seoul. I'm relying on your discretion"

Henry's eyes nearly bulged from his skull. Tripping over his words as he made every attempt possible to answer coherently.

"Ah, yes, of course.. only reason I ever came to the conclusion were the telltale signs. Jane 'an Molly weren't so bad, but Andrew? Gee whiz, that boy was nearly the death of me"

Hawkeye looked down at his wool blanket, in vain, to hide the obvious look of amusement plastered across his face.

"Ah, yes. I believe your water broke during that emergency tracheotomy. Frank played hero trying to cover for you, nearly killed the poor kid"

This earned him a chuckle or two from Blake.

"If it wasn't for you and McIntyre's quick thinking, probably would've. (his tone shifts to a more serious inflection) Now, Pierce. I expect you to not work yourself too raged. You've got another little Captain to think about"

Another little Captain. Those words rang in his head like old church bells. It suddenly wasn't just about him anymore. No more boozing it up with Trapper and wild nights with spotty details. At least, not for the next seven months that is.

"I don't suppose this' enough to send me home is it?"

Blake cracks a crooked smile. Shakes his head, and laughs lightly.

"Sorry, Pierce. If it were they would've sent me home to have my son. That's Brass for ya. Expecting you to fulfill your surgeries, even when you're in labor"

"Yo..you're havin' a baby?!"

Trapper's face lit up like a Christmas tree, back at the Swamp. Hawkeye immediately throws up the palms of his hands.

"Yeah, but keep it down. I think Frank is catchin' on"

Suddenly, the sound of their tent door opening nearly gave Pierce a coronary.

"I'm catchin' on to what?"

Both men's eyes went wide with panic. He only prayed Frank wasn't within earshot when the baby bomb was dropped. They slowly turn around.

"Ah.. Catchin' on tah the fact you're 'ah good lookin' man, Frank"

Trapper could feel his soul instantly vacate his body upon uttering such a nauseating line of BS. Frank's expression instantly morphed into his classic smugness. Almost dopey-looking.

"About time you two realized my greatness. Mother always told me, and now everyone else sees it"

This is immediately followed by another one of his odd, high-pitched giggles of delight. He gives one last pompous, thin-lipped smile, turns heel and leaves right back out the door. Hawkeye could feel the bile stinging at his throat, he wasn't sure if it was morning sickness creeping back up again, or the boldfaced lie to one of his mortal enemies. It was probably the latter, he swallows hard.

"Gotta hand it to ya, Trap. I would've puked had I been the one to feed him that line of garbage"

Trapper breaks into a grin and laughs.

"Hell, I very nearly did 'an I'm not even the one pregnant"

It was approaching nightfall when Hawkeye finally decided to pen his father with the news. Frank was out and Trapper was fast asleep, he sighs.

"Dear Dad,

I didn't think I'd be writing you this particular letter. However, I just found out hours earlier, so don't take it personally. In about 7 months time, you're going to be a grandpa. Unfortunately, it seems even pregnancy doesn't ensure your ticket home. But don't worry, the little one will be safe and sound until we return to Crabapple.

Love, Hawkeye"

He smiles fondly at the note, folding in the middle and placing it on the small table, next to the still. Peering down at his stomach, that despite being around two months along. Was still rather toned. He runs a hand gently over it, that warm smile never wavering. Speaking barely above a whisper.

"It's time for all little Captains to get some rest"

With that, he gingerly crawls into his cot and within a matter of minutes, was out like a light. Frank finally returned about an hour later, his intentions were to simply get some much needed sleep. That was until a certain personal note piqued his curiosity.

"Hello, what's this?"

Keeping his smarmy, obnoxious voice low as to not wake Pierce. He carefully plucks the piece of folded paper, eyes giddily scanning the small group of graphite-lined text. He very nearly let's out a gasp. In combination of both shock and reveling in the fact he stumbled across such a sensational bit of MASH unit fodder.

"Oh, Pierce. Now I know your dirty little secret"