It was rather hard to fathom. But the good Doctor was now 36 weeks along. As if the things that were previously just a minor inconvenience, had been cranked up to a thousand. Everything was uncomfortable. His feet, his back, his organs. He had studied medicine for years, until becoming pregnant himself did he truly realize what a physically taxing experience it was for men. How in the Hell did his Dad do it?

"Ow!, You do that again and the mystery meat in the mess hall will no longer be a mystery"

Hawkeye frivolously forewarns the rather rowdy fetus, following a hearty kick to his ribs. He could only pray it wouldn't be too much longer until he had his body to himself again. Hearing Trap behind him laugh lightly.

"Hawk, I don't think the kid knows a damn word yer sayin' "

"On the contrary. I think he just suffers from selective hearing"

Trapper cocks a brow inquisitively.

"How can ya be so sure its 'ah boy?"

Pierce trudges over to his cot, plopping down with a heavy sigh, as a crooked smile pulled at the corners of his lips. He watches the lightning fast movements of tiny feet, underneath the fabric of his Army green shirt. It was like something straight out of Rocketship X-M. Chuckling to himself.

"Because a girl couldn't possibly have this much kicking power.."

He notices that simultaneously glint in the Captain's eyes. Followed by a hearty laugh.

"Speak for yerself, pal. With mah two girls, it was like housin' Nilton Santos for nine months"

Pierce was just about ready to shut his eyes when Radar flew through the Swamp door. Remaining near the door frame.

"Sirs, we need help! Chopper just landed and the guy looks pretty banged up"

"At least he isn't knocked up, lucky him"

Hawkeye groused, partially joking. Immediately Trap throws up the palms of his hands.

"I don't think so. You ain't in any condition 'tah be haulin' in wounded.."

He motions for Radar to come in further.

"Now, pipsqueak here will keep ya company. I'll come back 'an grab ya for surgery when we got 'im in"

This was, perhaps, the first time Hawkeye Pierce didn't feel the need to argue with his friend's points. He was simply too exhausted and too pregnant to do so. A crossed expression graced the clerk's face.

"Hey! I'm not 'ah pipsqueak"

But before he could turn to give Trapper a piece of his mind, he was gone. It became increasingly obvious to Pierce that the naive, Iowa native was rather ill at ease. He was never one for small talk, or talk at all for that matter. Pierce pats the edge of his cot for him to take a seat. A warm smile making its way onto his face.

"Would ya like a gin, Radar?"

The young clerk simply shook his head. Eyes tracking Peirce's movements, namely, his stomach. Until he was sat down beside him. Radar clears his throat awkwardly.

"Um, sir...I hope this isn't too much to ask. But can I feel the baby?"

Pierce gives a warm smile and chuckles softly.

"Of course. Fair warning, he's full of it"

The clerk laughs inwardly before his hands travel cautiously to land upon the surgeon's stomach.

"Are you sure its a boy, sir?..Woah! Was that him?!"

It amused him that within a matter of milliseconds, the clerk went from questioning the gender to accepting it as fact. And all it took was a kick from the baby.

"It was. It's one of his favorite pastimes"

This earned an awkward chuckle from Radar. Suddenly, the two hear the door fly open. Only, it wasn't Trapper. It was Frank.

"And just what do you think you're doing, Corporal?"

This said in such a manner, it was a mix of autocratic, and at the same time, derived some sort of amusement from making the clerk jump at his words.

"Uh, no..nothin', sir. I was, uh, just leavin' "

With that, Radar fled the tent. Now, it was just him and Frank. That look, that weaselly, smug demeanor. Something was about to go down, but Hawkeye would hold his ground til the world's end.

"I believe you're in the wrong tent, Frank. The one you want is next-door, labeled "malpractice". Better hurry, I think there's a queue"

What happened next wasn't even characteristic of Frank himself. He lunged at Pierce. But before he so much as grazed Hawkeye's arms with his fingertips, Trapper returns.

"The Hell you think yer doin', Frank?!"

McIntyre's voice boomed, grabbing a hold of Burns' shoulders, roughly, before forcefully shoving him out the door. He could hear Pierce's frantic breathing, trying to get his heart rate back under control. Panic-stricken, he makes his way swiftly towards his heavily pregnant friend. A string of questions like a rapid-firing cannon.

"Are ya okay? The baby? He didn't hurt 'im did he?"

Whilst Pierce immensely appreciated Trapper's efforts. It was a tad unnecessary, seeing as nothing physically happened. Although, of course, he'd never admit this. He smiles halfheartedly before a hand travels to rest atop his massive midsection. Finally taking control of his breathing.

"Baby's fine. But I have a feelin' Ferret Face isn't done yet"

Trap does a quick visual sweep before honing his attention back onto the surgeon.

"Hawk, I don't want ya leavin' this tent. Too risky.."

"-Oh, c'mon, Trap.(Chuckles) This' Frank Burns we're talkin' about. I would hardly constitute that as 'ah threat"

The hilarity, however, that Pierce found within this drama was quickly extinguished. Firmly, whilst still trying to maintain a level of delicacy. Trapper grabs the Doctor's shoulders. He exhales heavily.

"Hawk, wake up. He tried 'tah go after ya 'tah get to the baby. That's definitely 'ah threat"