Chapter two - Trust
Rose's eyes glanced up and from beneath her long lashes. She could see the struggle Jack had with something but wasn't quite sure what it could possibly be. He stubbed his cigarette right out and kept playing with it until he had almost pulled the thing apart.
''So I reek of first class?''
Jack raised his eyebrow and smirked. He held his hands up as though he was admitting defeat.
''Yes, yes you do. One can only assume why a lovely lady like you wound up in third class with a bum like me in the middle of the night?''
''So what makes you think I am a runaway?''
Jack sat back amused, crossing his arms over his chest. ''Your accent, your finery, and the way you take offence to everything I say…'' He watched her expression change. ''Would you like to me to go on?''
She shook her head.
Rose quietened down a little and Jack hoped he hadn't offended her. She gazed out of the window at the night's sky, it was completely black. She could feel the engines revving as warning they were about to leave the station for California. The cigarette had been forgotten and it had now burned out, the last light slowly glowing. She felt like that herself. As though the last fight inside of her was to be won by someone else.
''Hey look, don't worry if you are a runaway, a stowaway or what the Hell. I am not one to judge, nor will I pry.'' Rose found herself glancing him straight in the eye. ''I just hope you realise that what your running away from is a Hell of a lot worse than what your running into. Otherwise, you need to leave the train now.''
''Are you saying I cannot survive without the life I left behind?''
Jack sighed again. ''Once again, you take offence. Take it from a boy who has ridden the rails alone for ten going on eleven years. If what you are running from means nothing to you, then you've done the best thing leaving this shitty place to start a new life.''
The engines bellowed and the whistle sounded, signalling the train was about to leave the station. ''I have left nothing behind.'' She spoke confidently. ''Absolutely nothing.''
''Good, because we are on our way to California, Rose. There is no going back now.'' The train slowly began to move. She watched slowly the platform crept past the window, men working and others were passengers ready to embark on some journey. She had left her old life behind. Cal would be rising for work soon and would find her gone. She dreaded to think of his reaction of finding the bed cold and empty, her long gone leaving her wedding ring on the dresser. She shivered suddenly and closed her eyes for a few seconds as though to calm herself and when she opened them she realised the platform had disappeared from sight. She had left her old life about to embark upon a new one.
''I don't want to go back.'' She felt dazed but was aware of Jack's eyes on her. The lamp was burning down and the light grew dimmer. ''So how long have you been on this train?''
''Since yesterday. There's not a damn thing to do except shuffle the cards and drink whisky.''
''I like to watch the towns and cities go by.''
''There's only so much of them you see and you sure as Hell will get bored of that after an hour or so.''
She smiled weakly. ''So where you do get this whisky from then?''
Reaching into his coat pocket he pulled out a flask. He took a sip from it and she watched his face. Not even a flinch. A sign he was used to the bitter taste. ''It's one of the essentials.'' He grinned. ''Would you like some?''
He offered the flask to her. She took it without thinking, she needed some excitement on this journey.
She brought the liquid to her nose and just the smell of it made her eyes water. ''Oh my, it smells lethal.'' Rose laughed weakly, but she wasn't yet put off trying the alcohol. She took a first hesitant sip and then another feeling the warmth which followed in her stomach.
She threw her head backwards laughing, some pins fell from her hair loosening some curls and she reached around and pulled the rest of them out freeing her hair completely allowing her curls to cascade around her shoulders almost taking Jack's breath away.
''You all right?''
''I'm fine.''
The whiskey burned her throat but yet she took another sip before passing it back to Jack. She felt herself loosening up a little; the element of freedom was beginning to be within reach.
It was only fifteen minutes later, she was asleep. She lay out, her curls flowing around her head. She covered the top half of her body with her coat and used her left arm as a pillow. Jack slept sitting upright. His arms casually folded. He drifted in and out of sleep and during those times he was awake he couldn't help but watch her. She is a restless sleeper, he decided. She moaned and her arms fell about her face. She was dreaming or actually it seemed more like a nightmare. He watched as she writhed, repeating the word 'no' over and over again. She was running from something or someone - they haunted her dreams. He saw the beads of sweat on her head as it rolled backwards onto the bench. He leant forward to open the curtains in the cabin, revealing sunlight. They drifted through nameless towns, its features mainly not distinguishable as it sped on towards their destination. The cabin was dark and their curtain blacked out most of the sun. He sat back again casually crossing his arms. She wrestled with something, something which seemed stronger than she.
''I am surprised you paid my mother such an extraordinary amount of money to take me out. I am surprised you wish to marry me.''
Cal sat himself on the large bed and patted the bed beside him, indicating for her to join him. ''Well my dear Rose, I wasn't about to let such a glorious opportunity pass me by. I am a business man as you know, so call it a good investment in my money.'' He smirked and Rose felt sick to the bottom of her stomach. 'But you look ravishing.''
''Thank you very much.''
''Besides you agreed to marry me, Rose. For the sake of your mother and for your own.''
''I know, you remind me every day.''
She leaned forward ever so slightly to Cal and smelled the newness of his suit. Their eyes met for a brief second before their lips touched and Rose felt the smoothness of his lips on hers. She knew what was expected of her. His kiss became ravenous and rough, almost like he was licking her face all over. She felt him harden and squeezed her eyes shut in disgust, she ran her hands along his leg and felt his tongue enter her mouth forcefully, he tasted like poison. He laid her down and leant over her, and she tried to remove his jacket but he wouldn't allow it, he kissed her neck down to her collarbone and attempted to pull her dress but eventually he tore it slightly to get to her breasts, he kissed them hurtfully, even grabbed them and tears sprung to her eyes. He moaned with pleasure although it sounded more like a grunt, Rose attempted to sit up a little but he pushed her back down trying to kiss her, she struggled under his weight and felt as though she couldn't breathe.
''Cal I need to sit up.'' she said breathlessly.
''No Rose, you need me. Make love to me Rose.''
Disgusted she pushed him away in an attempt to sit up but he grabbed her shoulders holding her down.
''Don't tell me you're having second's thoughts hmm?''
''No please I just want to sit up. Have a drink maybe?' she suggested in hope she could prolong this a little longer. She felt his throbbing against her leg.
''No Rose. I paid for you, now fuck me.''
Rose felt physically and mentally sick. He put his lips on hers once again and she fought against his weight feeling his crushing her. ''Cal…'' She could barely breathe as he licked her face. Jacks face came to her head and she felt the tears fall freely from her eyes. No warning, she let out a blood curling scream and Cal immediately placed his hand over her mouth.
''Don't do that again. You sound as if I am trying to kill you.'' Her feet kicked randomly in an attempt to find a place to kick him but to no avail, this wouldn't end up been sex, it would turn into rape.
A scream. Jack leapt forward onto the table without a second thought grabbing both of her hands and shaking her awake. Her whole body shook as their eyes met, her heartbeat quickened. She was startled half way between the violent dream and this reality. Her chest rose and fell but her breathing became shallower but his gaze never wavered, he didn't even realise he was still holding onto her. His hair was overly long and floppy into his sea blue eyes. She could see clearly as he leant over her. He had a heart shaped face, tanned skin and dimples on his face. Slowly, he let her go as though he was exposing her to reality. He climbed back onto the bench.
''Bad dreams?''
He collected his backpack together so casually as though she had awoke on a normal morning. She was embarrassed she had so openly had a nightmare. She wondered just how much of a stir she had caused.
''Something like that.''
He stood pulling his pack onto his shoulder. ''I will find out one day.''
She was just about to ask how he would get such knowledge when he interrupted her.
''Do you need the bathroom?''
''Excuse me?''
''The bathroom. It's right down the corridor to the left. I'm going to get some breakfast at the end of the carriage.''
He left before she could speak again. She was alone for the first time since boarding the train. She pulled back the curtain to reveal a blur of buildings. She realised she had no idea where she was but she did know she was miles away from home. She didn't yet feel fully safe and wouldn't until she reached her new home.
She gathered her bag and then left the cabin to find the washroom. It was crammed and it smelled vile of sewers with access to one cold water tap. She turned it on and cupped her hand beneath. She took several sips before splashing her face. It was refreshing. She dragged her fingers through her hair before looking at her reflection in the tiny cracked mirror. She was flushed. She changed her undergarments and stuffed the old ones back into her bag. She quickly dabbed on some perfume, a final Christmas present from her mother before brushing her teeth. She pulled out a clean dress, cream in colour, somewhat overdressed for the journey but one of the least fancy dresses she had owned and had time to pull from her dresser when packing for her journey. She held the garment against her before deciding not to wear it. She would wear this dress for another day, needing to keep washing to a minimal whilst on the train.
Leaving the bathroom, she found her way to the canteen. It was a few small tables most of which were full. She spotted Jack with his head buried in a week-old copy of The Times. She headed for her own table, by the window. She dumped her bag on the floor before distracting herself by glancing out of the window. The table was rickety, like her, almost a nervous wreck of what was to happen in the next few weeks but surely nothing was worse than what she had left behind.
A knock sounded at Rose's bedroom door before the key turned in the lock and Cal entered with a smug smile on his face. Rose glanced upwards to him from her vanity mirror. She was dressed in a green dress with black netting and beads over the shoulders. She wore her hair pinned up, with emerald earrings and an emerald and diamond bracelet.
''You look lovely Rose.'' He came behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She felt her skin crawl but outwardly she faked a smile to him, anything to make herself appear happy.
''There is something I have for you Rose. Something which I hope you like'.' Cal sat himself on the side of her vanity unit. From inside his pocket he produced a ring box, glancing at it she felt sick knowing what was inside. ''I want you to wear this tonight, as a token of my love for you.''
Opening the box, a large diamond ring sat inside. Large wasn't the word, ugly was. It was a gaudy, hideous thing. Rose shakily touched the ring. ''Good gracious.''
''Perhaps it will remind you of how I feel about you.'' He smiled to her. He removed the ring from the box and took her left hand in his. Rose felt her breathe become caught in her throat but she said nothing and allowed him to place the ring on her finger. She looked at the diamond and felt nothing at all, it felt out of place and too big for her tiny hands.
''56 karats of diamonds.' Cal grinned to her as if bragging about how much money he had paid for the ring. A pathetic amount she knew, enough to feed several small countries.
''I love it darling.'' She quickly stood from the chair and moved away from him.
''Oh Rose, I know you've been melancholy and I know why. But this evening will be the beginning of our lives together.''
Rose tried to find something to concentrate on other than Cal. She ignored the feelings in her stomach and tried her best not to heave right there in that moment. 'I am looking forward to the gala.' she told him, hoping it would steer the conversation away from the ring and it would keep him happy.
''Good. So am I sweet pea.'' Cal came towards her, he kissed her cheek gently. ''Shall we go downstairs? I think you should be well enough to.''
Rose felt like screaming to him. Did he actually believe that she had been mentally unstable because she didn't wish to marry him sooner? Her admission to the mental asylum in the centre of Philadelphia had being a shock to everyone including Rose herself. She had spawned Cal's advances for almost a year and now he had her head checked and a full medical examination. He played the hero, the lost soul and the victim...his beloved girl was insane. ''Of course.''
Her stomach rumbled a reminder of her hunger.
''I saved you a seat.'' She jumped to find Jack hovering over her table. ''I have coffee, bagels and some sandwiches.'' He glanced at her expectantly. She dropped her gaze to the fellow travellers; all of their gazes fell on her. She hadn't realised her presence had caused such a stir. She picked up her things before following him to his table.
''Thank you.''
Rose hesitantly took a bagel, picking off crumbs and eating silently.
''Do you enjoy your coffee strong?''
She nodded as he proceeded to pour her one. She thanked him again.
''So did you sleep well?'' He asked in between gulps of his coffee. He ate like he had never eaten before.
''Yes.'' She replied coolly. ''How about you?''
''I don't sleep much.''
She placed her cup on the table, surprised at his reply. ''Well Jack, what did you do all night?''
''I kept watch.'' His words were somewhat haunting. She felt uneasy. Their gaze was intense and it was almost as though they were in their own little world. She swallowed the last of her bagel and watched it down with a sip of coffee.
''You kept watch?''
Jack sighed, realising just how bad this was sounding. He leant forward a little and gestured for her to do so too. He spoke low and quickly. ''Listen, Rose. I know what these places are like. Most of these people are men, very untrusting men who probably hasn't had a woman in God knows how long.''
Her eyes widened. ''I will put this very simply when I say this. You're a woman of high social standing and your face has been in the papers for I'm guessing since the day you were born. Most of these men boarded when you did therefore may recognise your face.''
Then it dawned on her. She hadn't fully thought this through. Of course, she would be recognised. She slowly covered her face with her hands and wished she could have stayed hidden away.
''Don't worry about anything Rose. Trust me?''
She found his gaze through the gaps in her fingers while she covered her face. There it was again that intense stare. Did she trust him? She removed her hands from her face and cupped her coffee cup.
Trust. The main thing she had trouble with.
''I can smell her on you, Cal.''
Rose crumbled to the floor. The lies, the deceit and now he had been to bed with another woman. Did marriage vows mean nothing to him?
''Our son died three days ago and you find time to bed another woman!''
She blinked again. Tears brimming her eyelashes. Tears she tried to hold back.
''Look you know me, I am Jack. Jack Dawson.''
She glanced at his with those wide green eyes and before she knew it she had stood and ran from the canteen, back down the long narrow corridors barging past shocked passengers until she found the back of the train. She could run no further. She was tired of running, tired of not being able to trust. She could not find the good in anyone. Did Jack mean well? She felt herself choking on something, as though there was no air whatsoever. She struggled to breathe, quickly she found the door and quickly pushed it open, the air almost sucking her fragile state out of the carriage. Tears running from her eyes, her hair whipping about her face in the wind she steadied herself again the wall with her shaking hands.
She heard footsteps, tapping of large feet along the corridor and then she saw him. Jack. He had come to find her. She was half relived, half embarrassed by the sudden out bursting episode.
''What are you doing?'' He cried. ''Please get back, if you fell you'd be killed instantly.'' He edged closer to her slowly and it was then she knew he wouldn't leave her alone. He needed to help this woman in some way. She needed him. He needed her.
She hugged herself, feeling the chill. Slowly, he edged around her before leaning far out to grab the door to close it.
''Careful!'' She shouted. What would she do if he fell out of the carriage? Surely he would be killed?
''Don't worry about me.'' He grinned. The first time she had seen a genuine smile from him and then she too smiled.