Disclaimer: I have never nor will ever own any of the characters. They belong to Rob Thomas. If I did own them, I would never have done what he did.
Chapter Two
"Veronica" it sounds so real, so much like his voice that it makes my heart ache. I don't even look up because I know it isn't real. I think to myself, "Good job Veronica, you have officially lost it."
This is a new low for me because I can't seem to convince myself that I'm just hearing things. It sounded just like him. At least when I hear and talk to Lily, I know that it is all in my head.
However, right now I can't seem to convince my head or my heart that this is all just a part of my cruel imagination and then I hear it again. "Veronica look at me."
I still can't do it though. If I look up and he's not there I will be crushed, but if I look up and he is there it won't be any better. I will know then that I am damaged beyond all compare because I am hallucinating my dead husband and actually think he is there.
As I continue to stare at the sand, Pony makes her way over to me and starts to rub her head in my hand. I look at her and as she is urging me to look up and move forward, I hear "Veronica please."
I lose any willpower I have remaining to fight the hallucination and I look up. When I do, my heart can't comprehend what my brain is telling it is there. He's standing there in uniform looking so amazing and so real.
It seems so different from when I see Lily. It's not the shimmery translucent shape in front of me that appears when I am talking to her.
He looks so real and so solid. I try to convince myself to stop thinking he is there because I am just hurting myself more, but then he steps forward and takes my hand.
As soon as his skin hits mine, I feel that spark that occurs every time we touch and he says "it's real, I'm here."
That moment is when I crumble. I fall to the ground and am shaking with uncontrollable sobs. I'm sobbing as I try to make sense of what is going on.
This can't be happening. He is gone. I heard the explosion and felt the windows shatter and pieces of glass cut my face. There is no way he could have survived. There wasn't even anything to bury. Just an empty casket and a folded up American flag that was handed to me with their deepest condolences. He kneels in front of me and tries to pull me into his arms and comfort me, telling me "it's ok, I'm here now."
I push away and stand up. I aggressively start wiping the tears from my eyes and yelling "This isn't real! This can't be possible! You died! You are gone!"
He starts to move towards me again and I look into his eyes and see utter confusion and hurt. I stare at him while still trying to stop the endless flow of tears that are running down my face to no avail.
As I look at him, he starts rambling, "What do you mean? You know I wasn't really gone. They were supposed to tell you after the funeral. They just needed it to look real, so they had to wait until after the funeral. After the press was gone. They were supposed to tell you."
He reaches for me and I recoil again. It is then that I see the tears well up in his eyes and he says, "They didn't tell you." It's a statement this time and he knows now why I keep pulling away from his touch.
As I stand there and continue to stare while I cry, I see the silent tears start to fall from his eyes. We make eye contact and he says, "Sugarpuss, please."
It is then that I lose any resolve that I have remaining and fling myself into his arms. I jump and he catches me. My legs wrap around his body, while one of his hands goes around my waist and the other comes up to cradle my neck and tangle his fingers in my hair. He is kissing the side of my head over and over as I cling to him and sob. I am squeezing him so hard that I feel like my muscles might break as I breath in the scent that is "Logan."
We stay like that for what feels like forever, clinging to each other while he continues to place tender kisses on my head. I can't seem to make myself let go or move forward from that spot. The sun has almost set, and I know we should be going inside but I fear if I let him go, I will lose him again and I'm just not willing to take that chance. So, he carries me off the beach and up the stairs to our tiny apartment just as he has done so many times before.