Disclaimer: I have never nor will ever own any of the characters. They belong to Rob Thomas. If I did own them, I would never have done what he did.
Chapter Four
I don't know if it is the words that my father says or the fact that I would rather live in the delusion while it lasts then to be standing there and not touching him, but something inside me clicks and I move again.
Not caring that my dad is there or that I am a tear stained mess, I launch myself at Logan. The instant that our lips meet the tears start to fall from my eyes and I know that he is crying too. For a second the only contact that we have is our lips. It has been so long, and my body is almost in shock from that first contact. It isn't long though when I feel his arms wrap around my waist, his fingers wrapped around one of my hips while his other arm pulls me closer. My arms respond to his touch and gently wrap themselves around his neck. My fingers lightly stroking the short hair at the base of his neck. He deepens the kiss, no longer making it the innocent first contact of our lips and I melt.
We continue this way for who knows how long, not even caring enough to stop when oxygen becomes a necessity. It isn't until my dad clears his throat, not once, but twice that we finally pull apart. As we stand there breathless, looking into each other's eyes, he leans forward and rests his forehead on mine. He takes his hand and brings it up to my face and gently strokes his thumb across my cheek to wipe away my tears, which just makes them fall even harder.
I'm so overwhelmed with emotion that I am sobbing once again. I vaguely hear my dad saying that he is going to give us some time and feeling Logan nod his head in response. I hear the front door close and then Logan places his arm under both of my legs and bridal style carries me to the couch where he places me on his lap.
I sob into his chest and can feel the tears falling from his eyes hitting me on the top of my head. My sobbing eventually takes a toll on me and I find myself falling asleep. I try to fight it, but the heavy emotions that have outlined this day combined with all of my sobs win out and I can't keep my eyes open anymore.
When I wake, I realize that I am no longer in the living room encased in Logan's arms and I panic. I instantly start to tear up and cuddle into a ball on the bed.
However, as I start to move, I realize that I am not alone in bed after all. Logan is cuddled behind me spooning my back while his arm is lovingly draped across my hip. I relax and roll over onto my other side so that I am facing him. He stays asleep as I turn in his arms and as I lay facing him I can see the toll that the last year has taken on him, even as he slumbers.
I feel like I could lay there and just stare at him forever. I never thought I would have this opportunity again and this realization causes more tears to fall.
I can't help thinking to myself that I am so over crying. I wouldn't even allow myself to break down like this when I thought that I had lost him forever. Maybe that is why I continue to cry now. It's the tears that I kept suppressed after the bomb went off, the tears that didn't fall when they lowered his empty casket into the ground, and the tears of knowing that I don't have to spend the rest of my life without him next to me.
I remember back over the past year and think about how I blamed myself for this happening. I felt that it was my cosmic karma that caused me to lose Logan. The universe's punishment for all the times that I pushed him away and broke up with him. Even my punishment for how distant I often was with him. I would think constantly about how, if I would have been better and more deserving of him, then he would still be here. Trying to push these thoughts aside and get my crying under control, I try to focus on the here and now and not the horrible year that I have just survived.
As I lay there, my hand still cupping his cheek, I suddenly can't control the hysterical giggles that overtake me. At first, I don't even know why I can't stop laughing, but the more I laugh the more the reason becomes aware. I, Veronica Mars, am being clingy. Even as I lay there, I must be touching him or him touching me. I know most people would say that given the situation it was perfectly acceptable to be clingy, but it is so out of character for me that I can't contain my laughter.
Finally, my laughter wakes him, and he starts to stir, which honestly, I don't mind because that will give me the opportunity to check him over and see what kind of damage has been done to him over our time apart. I place chaste kisses on his lips trying to coax him away from the last little bit of sleepiness. I hear him groan and he stretches and finally he opens his chocolate browns eyes. As we lock eyes, it finally dawns on me that this is real and he is here, and I can't help but smile.