Disclaimer: I have never nor will ever own any of the characters. They belong to Rob Thomas. If I did own them, I would never have done what he did.

Chapter Nine

Veronica's POV

When I woke later, I look at the clock and notice that it is already the afternoon. Sleep was obviously something that we both desperately needed. I gaze at Logan and my thoughts start to wonder about what kind of horrors he had to endure over the last year. I know that he was intentionally vague when he explained the details of his mission.

I watched as he told me the story and could tell when he was leaving things out and the hurt that was clouded in his eyes by whatever he was remembering. Part of the lack of details was simply because he was not allowed to tell me due to his oath to the Navy, but more than that I could tell, even if he could tell me, he wouldn't.

If I know anything in this world, I know how to read Logan's face and I could tell the exact moment when the memories were making him think that what he had done would disappoint me. I wish that I had told him that no matter what he had done it didn't matter because he made it back to me, but communication is still not something that I am very good at, especially since I was so angry while he explained it all to me. The last year has only made me more closed off from the world and my feelings.

A part of me went completely numb the second that my brain comprehended that he was a casualty of the car bomb that was meant for me. It was the only way for me to be able to survive. I had to shut part of myself down, otherwise I would have never made it through one second, let alone a whole year.

Last night was a rare moment brought on by the magnitude of his homecoming. A homecoming that I had dreamed of for a year, but never imagined would actually happen. That is what had allowed me to open up and actually have a heartfelt discussion about his not re-enlisting, but there were so many things that I left unspoken.

I should have been more of a comfort to him when I saw the look of fear in his eyes. The fear that the unspoken things would cause me to leave him. I know that this will always be a fear that is in the back of his mind brought on by all the times that when things got too hard, I did run. I'm sure that our time apart has only amplified those fears, which I have to assume were only made worse when he learned that I was never told of his actual fate.

I'm lost in thought, contemplating all of the things that still need said and how I'm sure we have many long, much needed, conversations ahead of us, when I feel Pony start to lick my hand. I feel bad for the poor girl. It has been awhile since she has been out, and she has been such a good girl. She must have sensed how much daddy and I needed our time together last night and never even let out one whine.

I gently try to extract myself from his embrace so I can take poor Pony down to the beach. I somehow am able to get up from the bed without waking him. I quietly throw on some clothes and make my way from the bedroom. Pony follows behind me and I grab her leash and we head for the beach.

I'm standing in the sand, watching while Pony plays in the surf, when I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist. I let out a contented sigh and lean back into his embrace, resting my back against his chiseled front. He lowers his head to gently nuzzle on my neck, planting a few kisses right below my ear. I can feel the smile on his lips as he tells me, "Good morning beautiful."

I place my arms over the top of his that are still wrapped around my waist and lace my fingers with his as he rests them on my flat stomach. "Mmmm, Good morning," I moan. It crosses my mind that maybe I should bring up all of the things that I was thinking about as I watched him sleep earlier, but I just don't want to ruin the moment, so I decide that it can wait until later.

"How long have you been out here? I woke up and you and Pony were both gone. I couldn't find you at first and I got a little worried."

"We haven't been out here long. Pony needed to go out and I didn't want to wake you, so we just slipped out here for her to run off some energy," I explain. "We were just about to come back up to the house and see if you were awake."

As I am speaking, my stomach starts to grumble, making noisy protests because it is clearly hungry. Logan starts to chuckle as he must have heard it too. "Come on, let's go upstairs and I will make you something to eat," he states between chuckles. We start to head back to the apartment, and he turns around and calls out, "Pony, come on girl, let's go inside." Pony happily obliges and comes bounding up towards us.

We walk hand in hand up the stairs and into our tiny apartment. While I try and dry off the now soaked dog from her time playing in the surf, Logan makes his way into the kitchen to start something for us to eat.

He is opening the cabinets and the fridge looking for anything he can find when he calls out to me, "Umm Veronica? You have absolutely nothing here to eat."

I sheepishly look away, trying to avoid looking at him. "Yeah, grocery shopping is not something I did a whole lot of while you were gone. I didn't feel the need. When I was here alone, I never wanted to eat anything, so having food here just seemed like a waste."

"So, if you weren't eating here, then when were you eating?" he asks, the look of concern is clear on his face.

"When I was with my dad, or Wallace, even Dick came by and would take me to eat every now and then. They must have had some sort of, make sure that Veronica eats schedule, where they took turns on whose responsibility I was. They never said it, but I think they tried to make sure that I was alone as little as possible." I can see the look of hurt in his eyes, so I move towards him and place my hand on his arm.

He starts to speak, "Veronica, I am," but I cut him off and say, "Hey, it wasn't your fault. Please don't blame yourself for this. It wasn't easy, but we all made it through, and you are here now."

He is not making eye contact with me as I stand there with my hand on his arm, so I move around so I am standing directly in front of him and wrap my arms around his waist. I lay my head on his chest and his arms encircle around me. I lift my head and stand on my tip toes, kissing him and trying to relay with my kisses how much I don't blame him for this. The kiss ends and I feel him sigh and a small sad smile crosses his face.

Talking about my dad, Wallace, and Dick makes me realize that none of them know what is going on. My dad at least knows that Logan is alive, but he didn't stick around for an explanation to give Logan and I time together. Wallace and Dick don't even know that he is alive. With that thought in mind, I reluctantly separate myself from his embrace and I start to search for my phone having no idea where it has gone to. It was the least of my concerns when we came back from the beach yesterday after our very emotional reunion. I find it on the couch under my discarded jacket and sure enough, there are several messages from this morning asking me to call him and explain what has happened.

Logan has left the kitchen and is now standing next to me, wondering what I am doing. "My dad," I explain. "How about we go and grab something to eat and take it to my dad's because I know he has a lot of questions and at some point, we need to tell Wallace, Shae, and Dick too."

He sighs and brings his hand up to run it through his short hair and rub the back of his neck, "Ok let's do this then." I can tell that he is not looking forward to having more emotional conversations with our friends and family that have thought that he was gone, but he grabs his jacket as I am putting on mine and we make our way towards the door.

We are almost out the door when Pony tries to push her way out with us, whining as she clearly does not want us to leave her alone. I look at Logan and say, "I don't think she wants you to go."

He kneels in front of her petting her and rubbing behind her ears. "Hey Pony, daddy will be back. I promise. Now go and lay down and be a good girl." She reluctantly moves away and lays down and we are able to make it out the door.

We walk towards the car, he comes around the passenger side to open the door for me and I climb in. He walks back around to the other side and pauses outside of the driver's side door. After a brief moment he climbs in leans towards me, gives me a sweet kiss, and takes my hand.

We drive away, off towards what I am sure is to be another emotional conversation. I look at Logan across the console and say, "After this is all said and done, I am going to need to sleep for at least a week."

He laughs while shaking his head and agrees, "So am I."