Chapter 13 – The Next Step

Three days. It had been three days since Rosalie and I called a truce, and then she walked out the door in Bella's body, and I hadn't seen her since.

Three fucking miserable days.

Since my new job at the hospital didn't start until the following week, I spent those three days of torture just staring at the walls of the apartment, driving myself insane.

I considered going to the bookstore, but I promised Rosalie that I'd give her some space and I figured if Bella was in control, or even Alice, they would come home to the apartment. Three damn days of nothing.

Then, finally, on the evening of day four, I heard a key in the lock…

"Hey," Bella said casually with a big smile on her face the moment she spotted me.

I couldn't help but smile back at her. God, she was breathtaking. Not just her looks, but her entire being. Her heart and soul radiated out of her like a prism shooting rainbows all over the room. In that moment, I didn't even care that she had been gone for so long, and I completely forgot about my anguish over her absence – I just wanted to hold her.

"Hey," I replied as she automatically dropped her purse and crawled into bed with me. When she cuddled against my chest, I reflexively kissed her head and breathed in her sweet scent.

"I missed you today," she murmured, having no idea just how muted her missing was compared to mine.

"Aw babe, I missed you like hell," I told her sincerely.

"What were you doing all day?" she questioned. "I kinda thought you would bring lunch like you always did before."

When I didn't answer right away – mostly because my brain and heart were trying to catch up with her sudden reappearance – she looked up at me curiously as she waited for my response.

"Uh… I wasn't sure if you were busy or not. Didn't you mention something about lunch with your dad?"

She tried remembering. "Oh… right. I guess I forgot about that. He must have forgotten too since he never showed."

"Actually…" I hesitated, not wanting to ruin our beautiful moment, but lying, or even misleading her, was unacceptable. "He did show, but that was a while ago. You were the one who didn't show."

She stared at me blankly for a moment, clearly not grasping what I was telling her. But I watched her eyes as realization slowly sunk in, and the sadness and defeat there were like the weight of the world crashing down on her.

"How long was I gone for this time?" she asked, using her unbelievable strength to hold back her emotions that would certainly drown her if she allowed them to.

"Just a few days," I told her gently.

She huffed before pulling away, and the space between us somehow grew even heavier.

"Hey," I said, reaching for her before she could get too far. "We knew this would happen, right? I mean, neither of us should be surprised you were gone for a few days. You have a disorder, and this is what happens. We just have to keep pushing through it."

"I know…" she sighed deeply. "I guess I was just hoping I'd stay longer. We just decided to be together and then I disappear on you? It's not fair to you.."

"You're right – it's not fair to me, and it's certainly not fair to you, but it's the cards we've been dealt, and we will find a way to navigate through it," I tried assuring her.

"Yeah, but I have to deal with it, you don't," she argued.

"Yes, I do," I disagreed. "I do, because I love you, and being with you makes it worth it. We just have to give it time; I'm sure we will settle into a routine of navigating through it soon enough."

Her doubts were screaming at me through her rigid hesitations, but I just pulled her back into me and kissed her hair again. "We'll figure it out," I murmured.

"I wish I had your confidence," she mumbled back.

"You'll get there," I told her doubtlessly.

Seeing her pain over something that was out of her control was heartbreaking. I had such an intense desire to somehow fix it for her, but I knew it was out of my control as well. However, I couldn't help but wonder if there was any other way of coping that none of us had yet to consider.

That evening, after Bella fell asleep for the night, I pulled out my laptop and decided to do some overdue research on DID. The internet was pretty much a cluster-fuck of useful information and bullshit, but I did come across an online school for psychology, which surprisingly had a course on Dissociative Identity Disorder. I didn't even think twice before enrolling. With no desire to become a psychologist myself, I simply wanted a better understanding of that aspect of Bella, and to learn if there was anything I could do to help her better cope.

Never had I been more eager to study anything in my life, and I truly couldn't wait to begin.

…

For the next couple of days, Bella and I settled in to a comfortable, yet cautious routine of cohabitation. We were excited for that next step together, but definitely still on edge from not knowing how long it would be until she split again. I still planned on getting a place of my own, but for the time being, I stayed with her, which was basically a crash course in learning about each-other's daily quirks.

"Oh, that is disgusting," I heard her say to herself from in the bathroom. When she emerged, she had her arms crossed and the most adorable pout on her face. "Do we have a cat?"

"No, why?" I asked with a chuckle. I couldn't help it – she really was cute with that scowl.

"I don't know," she continued bitterly. "The sink looks like it's covered in fur."

"Maybe a stray got in," I played dumb.

"No, I think you just forgot to clean your scruff trimmings. Oh, and you used the last of the toilet paper again without replacing the roll," she said, trying like hell to maintain her serious tone but failing miserably when her lips cracked into a smirk. "Stop that!" she hissed while throwing a washcloth at me.

"Stop what?" I feigned innocent.

"Stop giving me that look. You know what you're doing."

I laughed. "I have no idea what look you're referring to here. This is just how I look."

"Ugh. You're lucky that's how you look," she grumbled before crawling over me and kissing me hungrily on the lips.

I wanted to take that kiss all the way to where she was leading, but I felt the need to apologize first. "Look, I'm sorry for leaving my fur everywhere, but… I will probably never refill the toilet paper. It's just not in my nature."

Thankfully Bella never held on to grudges or dwelled on the little things too long. "Well, at least you're honest about it," she told me before returning to our kiss.

Admittedly, I had some annoying habits, but I certainly wasn't the only one between us with quirks. From leaving her bras on the doorknobs, to downright refusing to kill any creepy crawlers that found their way into the apartment; Bella had her moments of being irritating. Of course, all of our differences, and even the superficial battles, only seemed to strengthen our bond as a couple.

With every argument and subsequent makeup, I was falling more and more in love with her and quickly jetting straight to irrevocability. We just fit, and at times, I honestly couldn't remember what my life was like before her. Like seriously, what the hell had I been doing all that time? Bella made me eager to go to bed at night, and even more excited to wake up in the morning, just to experience another day with her.

Because I had yet to start my new job, I spent those days hanging with her at the bookstore. I offered to help where I could, but mostly she had everything handled. So, while she worked, I usually studied for my online course, but when I needed a break from that, I made my way through a few surprisingly interesting novels and found myself engrossed. I was never much of a reader before; in fact, I couldn't remember a single book I had read that didn't involve medicine. I never knew typed words on white pages could be so entertaining, and I was finally beginning to understand Bella's passion for books.

…

All too soon, it was time to put my adult pants on and get to work. The job at the hospital was simple and boring, but I got through it by returning to my old routine of lunching with Bella daily. Most of the time the store would be fairly empty during that hour, and we were able to take that much needed break together. On one particular afternoon, however, Bella had another lunch-time date…

"Oh, hey Charlie," I said casually as I walked through the bookstore doors, only to find Bella chatting with her father.

"Hey Edward. How's the new job going?" he asked with a friendly pep to his tone.

"It's a job," I replied with a shrug.

"Hold on, back up," Bella said while waving her hands between us. "Charlie? Hey Edward? When did you two meet and become all chummy?"

"Edward and I have a healthy respect for each other," Charlie explained vaguely, and then looked to me for confirmation.

"Yep, very healthy," I agreed.

"Uh oh, what did he threaten you with?" she asked me. When I didn't answer right away, she looked at Charlie. "Dad?"

"No threats, we just had a friendly conversation last week, and I think we are both more comfortable because of it."

"Definitely," I confirmed sincerely. "Hey, if you two want to go grab lunch somewhere, I can cover around here until you get back," I offered.

"Uh, no," Bella said quickly. "It's your lunch break too; there is no way I'm allowing you to give it up to babysit the store."

"I really don't mind," I tried assuring her.

"That's nice of you, kid, but I took my lunch break already earlier today," Charlie informed me. "I just dropped by to check in on Bells to see how everything is going."

I nodded. "Cool."

"There hasn't been any more skipping since last week?" he then asked her.

She shook her head no. "Not that I'm aware of." She turned to me. "Have you noticed anything?"

"No, not since those three days you were gone for. It's been pretty great since then."

She smiled widely at me. "It has been, hasn't it?"

Charlie covered his ears theatrically. "Nah nah nah, I don't want to hear about all that."

"All of what? I just said things have been great," I told him, finding it mildly amusing how he twisted my words in his mind.

"I know what you meant," he spat while walking towards the exit. "Just keep in touch," he added as he went.

"Will do," I affirmed.

"Love you, dad!" Bella called after him.

"Love you, too," he grumbled, before disappearing out of the store.

"Sorry about that. I didn't know he was stopping by," Bella apologized as soon as we were alone.

"Don't be sorry. I think it's awesome he checks in on you. He just worries."

"I know… I'm a little surprised that you know though… So, how much would it suck if we had dinner with him tonight? He asked and I didn't exactly say no."

"It wouldn't suck at all. I think it's a good idea," I told her sincerely.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really. Why wouldn't we have dinner with him occasionally? I mean, he is sort of your father, so…"

"Well, I know you don't enjoy dinners with your own parents," she pointed out.

"Yeah, well my parents just like to lecture me like I'm a child. I don't think Charlie does that."

"Even so, I would think most guys would be annoyed if their girlfriend's dad was hanging around."

"It's not like he is in our business all the time. He just stopped by your store and we are going to have dinner with him. No biggie. Besides, I kind of like the guy."

Her brows lifted. "You like my dad?"

I smiled. "Why is that so strange to you?"

"I don't know. I guess maybe because he's a cop – most guys seem to be intimidated by that sort of thing. Plus, I'm an adult, and he is usually pretty involved in my life. These past few weeks, since I've been staying in the apartment, have been the least I've seen him since I first moved home as a teenager."

"Well, you two have been through a lot together with your disorder, and it's clear he only wants what's best for you. I'm just glad he's agreed to tolerate me. It would suck if he was constantly spewing hate and trying to convince you to break up with me."

"No, he wouldn't do that. The only time he treated any guy like that was a couple years ago when my then boyfriend was clearly only dating me for the wrong reasons."

"The wrong reasons?" I questioned, wondering what those reasons could possibly be.

"He was secretly filming me and my alters, then posting them online hoping to become internet famous," she explained. "I didn't want to believe my dad when he told me about the videos he found. The guy was always pretty much a jerk, but he accepted me… or so I thought. I pretty much haven't dated since."

"I don't blame you; that's horrible. Guys can be pricks for sure," I told her, feeling angry on her behalf and guilty at the same time. I had been friends with jackasses like that, and there was a time, not that long ago, that I probably would have laughed too.

"It's not just guys," she mumbled. "I've actually been ridiculed by girls even more."

"People can be pricks," I corrected my previous statement. "I guess I understand why you were so hesitant to date me before."

"Yeah, but I'm glad I gave you a chance," she said while wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing my cheek. I turned towards her so she could add another kiss to my lips.

…

The next few weeks moved quickly. For the most part, Bella remained in control, but every once in a while, she just wouldn't come home after work. I was terrified the first couple of times, but when she eventually showed back up looking confused and distraught, I always found a way to force myself to relax and be the rock I knew she needed me to be. We both hated her disappearances, but I knew it had to be so much harder on her than it was for me.

We continued on through it all, and every day I loved her more. Between both our jobs, and me doing my online course after she went to bed every night, life was settling into a busy, but somehow monotonous existence. I had always hated monotony before, but now I craved it. Monotony with Bella was the best times of my life thus far, and I couldn't help but dread the alternative – the havoc that was her alters. Even when they were dormant, we were always on edge knowing they could pop out and create chaos at any time – and it wasn't long until that was exactly what happened…