Tamaki watched the clear liquid drip into the tube, he didn't think it would be possible, but he felt worse than the day before, he had decided almost immediately that he hated the new medication. His fatigue was getting the best of him and he found that he would rather sleep if for nothing more than a brief release from his illness and pain. He would need all the energy he could pull together for Kyoya's visit that afternoon. He closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how long he had slept, but woke to hear a familiar voice.
"Master Tamaki."The woman called softly, causing the ill teen to force his eyes open once more.
"Shima?"he called weakly, turning to face her. She moved closer to the bed, Tamaki would have forced himself to sit up, but he found that he didn't have the strength to do so.
"How are you feeling?"He could hear the concern in her voice clearly.
"It could be worse." He said simply, Shima lowered herself into the chair beside the bed.
"Your father explained your condition to me and I want you to know that I understand,when I was a young girl, I also had a serious illness and so I wanted to give you some advice." She said leaning back in her chair.
"What kind of advice?"
"You are a kind and loving person by nature, this tells me that the first thing on your mind when you heard the news was the people you care about the most. It's so easy for you to put yourself aside for the sake of others. I know that your friends care very deeply for you and you want to protect them but the reality is that you will need them. They can't help you if they don't know what the problem is."
"But Shima, there's nothing they can do, They're not-"
"You have quite a difficult road ahead of you sir, the treatments are not pleasant by any means. There will be times when it feels like you can't go any further, it isn't wise to go through this alone, nor do you have to. There is no need to waste your strength hiding what will eventually be found out anyway. Let them help you, I will of course be close as well."
"I can't expect them to be part of this, it's not fair. The only thing telling them will accomplish is to make them treat me different. You should see Haruhi, she was so worried and I just can't do that to them."
"Your illness will be emotionally and physically draining, you will want their support, if they truly love you, then they will come together for you. Just promise me that you will consider the possibility."
"I'll think about it, thank you."Tamaki let out an involuntary moan as the nausea and pains in his body worsened.
"Would you like me to get a doctor for you?" Shima offered, Tamaki shook his head.
"No, I'll be alright, I just need to rest, Yuuichi said the antibiotic will help, this ones stronger than the first. He wants to see if he can get my fever down a little before we start anything that might make it worse. It doesn't feel like it's doing anything really." Shima reached over and touched his hand.
"I hope that changes soon, Your father is deeply concerned for you." She said, Tamaki looked away.
"Is he, he doesn't bother to visit, I've heard his voice a few times talking to Yuuichi but he never comes in to ask how I am. I'm not really surprised though, he has a reputation to look after and being an illegitimate son-"
"That has nothing to do with it, he loves you very much. People handle things differently Master Tamaki, it isn't easy for a father to see his child lying in a hospital bed with a serious illness, he may not know how to handle that. You know how painful it was when he heard the news."
"I suppose so."A long silence followed, Shima's heart went out to the boy and his father, she knew she would need to talk to Yuzuru later. Tamaki thought briefly about texting Kyoya and trying to put off the visit. He worried that when Kyoya found out about his diagnosis, he would lose his best friend and though Shima had given him good advice, he didn't know if he could look into his friends' eyes and tell everyone he could possibly be dying. He could imagine Haruhi's face as the news hit her. If it frightened her to see him lying in bed, she certainly couldn't stand to hear this.
"I don't want to tire you out too much, I'll let you rest. I just wanted to see how you're feeling. Do you want me to bring you anything from home the next time I visit?"
"No, thank you. I'm really glad you came by to see me." Tamaki said honestly. Shima stood up.
"Of course Master Tamaki, try to get some sleep now." Shima straightened the covers around Tamaki before saying goodbye and leaving him to fall asleep. The host would sleep peacefully for the rest of the morning and early afternoon, only waking when Yuuichi entered to check on him.
"Tamaki, how are you feeling today?" The blonde boy thought for a moment, allowing himself to wake up a bit more before answering.
"Not good. Do you think I can go home sometime soon?"
"Tamaki, I'm sorry but right now I can't give you an answer, it depends on your body's reaction to the medication. I'll get you home just as soon as I can but you'll more than likely be in her for at least a week to be monitored. I understand, there's nothing like being in your own home, especially when you're ill. A hospital is of little comfort, aside from being the best place you can be at a time like this, the waking you up all hours, poking, prodding, things like that, I get it. I can't blame you." Yuuichi said writing a note in his chart.
"Tell me, the nurses informed me you're still not eating, are you-"
"I'm not feeling hungry at all, can you expect me to, I'm sure you don't eat much when you feel unwell. Isn't that common?"
"Yes, but you've had quite a drawn out illness, you hadn't even tried for days at a time and you're going to need the nutrition to keep up your strength."
"I haven't been hungry at all."Tamaki replied.
"We'll have to do something about that" Yuuichi mumbled as he scribbled another note. "Also, I wanted you to know that I've spoken to the Specialist I told you about and they'll meet with you and your father tomorrow morning. The medication you're currently on should start making a difference by then or the next day. I'll be staying late tonight so if you think of any questions after I leave here, just ask one of the nurses to call me."
"I will, thank you." Tamaki said softly, he knew what would happen next.
"So you know by now that because of your illness, it's caused an enlargement in your spleen which is why you don't feel hungry, you see, your spleen is pressing on your stomach and causing you to feel pain and discomfort. I'm going to have to keep checking up on that because if it ruptures, it's not good. I'll have to physically check for tenderness and you'll have to have some more imaging tests."
"Does it have to be done right now?"Yuuichi sighed.
"I'm afraid so, I'll be as gentle as I can." The doctor promised carefully placing his hands on Tamaki's belly.
"You aren't having any new pains are you?" He asked pressing down firmly The ill boy shook his head as the pain increased.
"Good, you can relax, I'm done now. It doesn't seem to have changed, I'll give you some time to visit with Kyoya and I'll be adding something for pain to your medications. Try to rest and we'll talk later." Moments later, Yuuichi's presence was replaced by Kyoya who made his way over to the chair beside his friend's bed.
Kyoya lowered himself onto the chair before speaking.
"I would ask you how you're feeling but I'm sure you're tired of answering that question." The shadow king said.
"Kind of." Tamaki replied. "I didn't think you would be here so early, it's right in the middle of club hours."
"Yes, I told you that you and I needed to talk, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to do so while everyone was hosting. I know how hard it is for you at the moment and I don't want you to feel like you have to hide anything. It's just the two of us here now." Tamaki sighed heavily, He knew that Shima was right and he understood what Kyoya was trying to do.
"I know what you want me to say," The blonde teen said. "I know I probably should, I just- Kyoya, I don't know if I'm really ready to talk about this. I wouldn't know how to put it or-"
"I know it's difficult, and I had a feeling you wouldn't tell me. You have to understand something Tamaki, I know you wanted to protect us yesterday, especially Haruhi. Telling her something like that isn't going to make the situation any better. Eventually, you'll have to say something and when they find out that you're not being truthful, it only makes them suspicious and worry more about you. If you're not ready to talk about it, it's alright to say so but it doesn't do any good for anyone." The shadow King said sternly.
"I just couldn't- Kyoya, how do I say something like that, I know you already know." Kyoya nodded.
"I do. I overheard a conversation between Yuuichi and your father." Kyoya confirmed, Tamaki looked away.
"I've never been through this before, but I heard that it's not going to easy. I know that it can be hard for the people around me as well. I can't expect any of you to-"
"You really are an idiot Tamaki." Kyoya shook his head. "You should know better by now. If you think after everything we went through-"
"This is different. This isn't one of my ideas that I drag everyone into, I'm not going to ask any of you to follow me through this. It's not fair to you and I can't expect you to-"
"You're not asking anyone for anything, we've been with you through too much of your insane ideas to turn away when you need us. I think you know that, right now it's still sinking in."
"I'm sure a lot of people think they can stay around for support until things start to get bad and the treatments start making everything worse. It won't be just me having a hard time. I won't drag you along."
"You aren't dragging us anywhere, don't you understand if-Alright, granted that happens quite a lot. It doesn't mean it's going to happen to you."
"It doesn't mean it won't either and honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you did walk away."
"I'm not going anywhere, and I'd bet that everyone else will feel the same." Tamaki turned back to his friend.
"How can you be so sure this won't get to be too much, have you ever watched someone go through it, I mean closely, My mother's ill almost all the time, it's not the same thing I have but do you understand what it feels like to watch someone feel so sick they can't even get out of bed. Or they're in and out of hospitals for months at a time and-"
"No, I don't know what that's like, and I'm sorry you do. The fact remains that I'm not going to abandon you because you're ill. You're worrying too much, It's a scary diagnosis to have but it doesn't have to be something you do alone."
"So you're saying you could stand there and watch me d-" Kyoya stood from his chair, hearing the change in his friend's voice, he carefully wrapped his arm around Tamaki.
"That's not going to happen, I'm going to be right here, it's going to be alright." Kyoya said close to his ear. His own concern, now audible. Tamaki returned the embrace.
"Do you really think so?" The host king asked quietly.
"Yes, I'll do everything I can to make sure things are taken care of. You just keep doing what you need to do."
"K-Kyoya, can I tell you something, I've been keeping it to myself, not wanting to ruin the friendship we have but I want you to know...in case I can't tell you later."
"You will be, I told you everything-"
"I love you Kyoya, I love you so much, you're-" Kyoya pressed his lips to Tamaki's briefly.
"I love you too." The shadow king replied as he pulled away. Tamaki stared at him in shock.
"y-you never- I actually thought you-"
"Being the third son is hard enough, if my family knew I'd fallen in love with you- you're the reason I get up every day. As difficult as my life can be, you're always there, You are everything I'm not."
"You'll really stay with me Kyoya?"
"Yes, your gentleness and caring nature, your ability to see things in others that they can't see themselves, it's amazing." Before Tamaki could reply, they were joined by the rest of the hosts Tamaki greeted them all with a faint smile. He knew they would ask what the doctor had said and he would have to make a decision.