Tamaki stared at the blank pages in front of him. He laid the pen down next to the papers on the over bed table and tried to collect his thoughts. He hadn't realized just how difficult it would be to find the words when he made the decision the night before.

"Master Tamaki?" the soft voice called from the doorway. Tamaki turned to his visitor. The older woman stepped in, carrying a laptop bag.

"Shima, it's been a little while." Tamaki greeted. Shima approached the bed, taking note of the small stack of papers in front of him.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." She replied, placing the bag down on the bed at his side and gestured to the objects in front of him.

"No. Just something for the host club, What are you-"

"How are you feeling, you're quite pale."

"I've felt worse. How are you?" Shima brushed back a few strands of golden hair from Tamaki's face.

"I have no complaints. Your father sends his love. He wanted to be here, he had-"

"A meeting,it's fine. I can't expect him to drop everything to sit here." Shima sighed.

"Master Tamaki, you know that he loves you dearly, I have known him for a long time and-"

"Really, it's okay. I know he's busy. Nothing would get done if he spent all day here. Grandmother wouldn't like that at all."

' Kyoya asked me to being you the computer, I thought that if you were feeling up to it, I'd spend some time with you. It can be difficult to be alone when you're not feeling well." Tamaki shifted uncomfortably in the bed.

"I'd like that. You don't have to feel pressured to-"

"I wanted to be here." Shima rose from her seat, slipping her hands behind the teen, and fluffing his pillows before sitting back down.

"Is that better?" She asked.

"Much better, thank you... So Kyoya asked you to bring the computer?" Shima nodded.

"Yes, he thought it would be a nice idea to for you to be able to see each other while he's away." That way he could keep an eye on you." Tamaki wasn't surprised by Kyoya's request.

"He also asked me to tell you that he will be contacting you this evening. But he doesn't want you to force yourself to be awake if you're feeling ill." . the old woman rested her hand on top of Tamaki's patting it comfortingly.

"I spoke to your doctors this afternoon. They said you're still having trouble eating and you stopped drinking your meal replacements." Tamaki frowned, he wasn't prepared for this conversation. "If there's something you need to tell me, you don't have to hide it from me." Tamaki sighed.

"I tried." The teen said softly. "Really I did. I can't eat food and for a little while, They were giving me those replacements. I did okay but then I went from being able to hold down the bottle if I drank slowly to half and now I just. ..I can't. Everything I try to eat-"

"It's very important to-"

"I get stomachaches from small amounts of food and those drinks aren't any better. Yuuichi said the next step is adding another medicine to my Iv line, he says it'll give me everything I need and that my stomach may just need to rest from all the times I've gotten sick. I don't really get hungry. I've been thinking...what if it's telling me something, all this I mean. I'm always so weak and-"

"I think you're over thinking this, Master Tamaki. It could very well be a combination of things that can be remedied. It could be anxiety. You've been through a lot for a young man your age. You've had a difficult procedure, your medication has side effects. Where is that positivity?"

"It left with Kyoya."

"I see. So what I'm hearing is that you need the distraction, it's a bit too quiet here."

"I suppose it's possible. Too much time to think. I'm sorry to put all of my-"

"Hush now." Tamaki felt comforted bt the old woman, her presence and actions reminded him of his mother. "How long have you been having those pains when you eat?" Tamaki turned from her.

"About a week, maybe a little longer. "

"I assume you didn't mention this to your friends?"

"If I had, they would've stayed. They needed this, after all the time they spend here with me and especially Kyoya. Haruhi needed a break. I guess maybe a part of me did too. You're right, it can be draining to keep certain things to myself. I don't want this for them or you, my father..."

"You don't want what?"

"I'm so tired, Shima. I didn't want any of you to watch it happen. It's not really fair. I accepted it a while ago but what really bothers me is having the people I love the most...having to watch me die and their last memory of me being the opposite of who I am. I want to be remembered as-" Shima softly kissed his head, surprising the boy.

"You're a very brave young man. I want you to know that although you and I haven't known each other for a substantial amount of time, in caring for you each day since your arrival , I've come to think of you as one of my own. I'm going to tell you the same thing I would say to my other children. You still have time. You shouldn't assume the worst, no matter how difficult your situation may seem, there is always hope as long as you don't give into the obstacles life places in front of you. Focus your attention on your health, you can't always worry about others, it takes more strength to put on a brave face and show the world everything is alright than you realize. In sparing others from your pain, you carry the burden alone and sometimes the weight is far too much for one person. It's perfectly fine to let others carry it with you. If you are truly that concerned about it, open up to them, just like you are right now."

"I don't want to hurt them."

"By holding back, you are doing more damage." Shima straightened the cover around Tamaki.

"Now," she continued. " are you in any pain at the moment?"

"A little. I have medicine for pain but I try not to use it unless I really need it."

""I understand. Would you like me to let you rest, we can-"

"Maybe it's best. I'm glad you came to see me today. Next time-"

"I'm not leaving, Master Tamaki. I'll be right here when you wake. For the time being, turn your thoughts to your recovery. What would you like to happen when you come home?" Tamaki smiled faintly.

"I don't know, but when I do, do you think you could make your homemade soup for dinner?"

"Anything you like. In fact, if you can get yourself to eat even a few small snacks a day for the next several days, I'll ask if I can bring you some and I'll spend the evening here with you, would you like that?"

"It sounds wonderful. You don't have to-"

"Shh, just rest and gather your strength. We'll talk more soon." She took the teen's hand, holding it in her own, continuing to stroke his hair until at last he had fallen asleep.