Hi, The name's Kazuma. I was just your ordinary Japanese Geek that was obsessed with video games and anime girls. Unfortunately, I died from shock from a small tractor that looked like it was about to run over a girl. ...Damn, What a pathetic way to die.

After that, I got sent to this strange place where I met Aqua, the so-called Goddess of Water. She's an idiot, plain and simple. I don't even know how she became a Goddess to begin with. Anyway, She said that I could go to a Fantasy world with the task of defeating the Devil King. So I chose to go there, taking her with me. Man, she was not expecting that! My new life in this unknown world would officially begin!

After getting my title of adventurer, Aqua and I tried our hands out on a few quests, a little over our heads but still. That's when we met Megumin, the Explosion fanatic of the Crimson Demon Tribe (which aren't actual demons, to my disappointment.) She can unleash one hell of an explosion, though the result of said boom makes her fall on her face after using it. Every. Single. Time! I guess I did want to kick her out after our first mission with her, but unfortunately, she is now a permanent member of our group. We just have to make sure she doesn't miss her shot, otherwise we're screwed.

Ugh, ...Darkness. After the Megumin fiasco, she just strolled right into our party, ready and willing to become our meat-shield whenever we fight monsters. I cannot believe I actually thought she was just an ordinary gorgeous female knight. As soon as she first started breathing heavily and heating up, I knew that I would be stuck in this world forever with the most moronic girls of all time. She can't even hit her target most of the time! I don't even want to talk about what she's into.

So yeah, that's my party. Pathetic as we are, our killing history doesn't lie. We've already killed three of the Devil King's minions, two more of which have converted towards the side of good.

But right now, we're just chilling, going up levels to be better prepared for the fight with the Devil King. But that doesn't mean we stop getting into stupid situations.

Such as this... absolute embarrassment of a story.


Wiz was currently cleaning her shelves stocked with her products.

Being a general for the Devil King, Wiz never really had that many friends. There were only three kinds of customers that arrived in her shop. The first were obviously her occasional new customers who were curious about her shop, only to get scared off by her products. Though she had to admit, most of her items would prove very fatal to anyone who was careless with any of them.

The second, and most embarrassing people, were the perverted ones. It wasn't her fault that she had such a large chest. The added compliment of how cute her face was didn't help matters at all. She always thought of her chest as problems more than anything, knocking down potions and trinkets, forcing her to hunt for some more. Ironically, they were pretty helpful to lure people away too, as her clumsiness caused them to make her fall over. This would result in potions falling and breaking open, making them leak or smoke, scaring them from the unknown potential they may bring.

Lastly were her staple customers: Kasuma, Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness. They usually come over to buy health potions, special trinkets, and new skills from Wiz herself. Since they're almost always doing quests, they stop by here enough times for them to become regulars. They don't bother her too much, in fact, they made the shop more lively. She dared to say that she rather enjoy their angry banters. The blue-haired healer of the group was the one who she feared the most out of everyone though , since she somehow had the power to make her fade into nothingness. She sometimes wondered how she obtained such powerful holy-like magic.

Wiz sighed in relief as she finally finished cleaning all the dust off her shelf. She then decided to start displaying her new potion that she discovered recently. It was a large glass bottle, filled with some sort of black liquid, with a cork on top to seal it. She discovered this new substance as she was cleaning out her shelves. She had no idea what it was, but she didn't pay it any mind. Most potions, when they haven't been touched or used by anyone sooner or later loose their magical potency, rendering it just a harmless tasteless liquid. She wasn't sure if this one had expired yet, it had no label of any kind on the bottle.

She didn't have enough time to think about it much though because before she could, her door slammed open to the morning sun. A familiar brown-haired male walked in with his female partners, the room filling with a disgusting odour, as they were all covered in slime... again. The man of the group looked like he was ready to snap, the blue-haired woman was crying, while the other two seemed indifferent about whatever happened.

"Dammit, Megumin! Why do your explosive spells have to take so long to conjure?! You wouldn't have been eaten if you just skipped the damn speech!" Kazuma yelled at Megumin, pointing at her with a finger of fault. She broke out of her silence to yell back.

"How long is it going to take for you to learn?! I need to perform my spell exactly like that, otherwise I'd die!" Megumin retorted.

"Yeah, that's a lie and you know it! Just like that eyepatch of yours."

"Sh-shut it!"

Kazuma walked over to Darkness, giving her an angry speech as well. "Darkness, why did you let yourself get eaten?! Don't you know that you're more than just living bait?! You are a freakin knight!" Darkness started blushing, holding her arms by her side.

"W-well, sometimes even I forget that."

"HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT BEING A FREAKIN KNIGHT?!"

"O-Oh!~ Your... Your voice is so stern. First being tied up by a frog's tounge, now this? Y-yes.~"

"AUGH! You guys are useless!" Kazuma shouted, feeling frustrated enough to pull all his hair out. He then started looking around for someone, soon glaring at the girl in question. "YOU!"

Wiz panicked a bit as she pointed at herself. "M-me?"

"No, her." Kazuma said, quickly switching to his usual tone. He then pointed at Aqua who was next to her, changing his mood back to being upset. "YOU!"

"Ahh!!" Aqua jumped as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"You didn't do anything. Up until you were eaten, you were making fun of us, while we were doing all the work!" Kazuma stated.

"Well what was I supposed to do?! I'm a healer! I heal! Last time I tried fighting those lumpy toads, I got eaten immediately!" Aqua responded in a desperate voice.

"Oh yeah, I remember! Wait! I also remember you saying that you were a goddess! Hm... You saying that a self-proclaimed goddess, who defeated one of the Devil King's generals, can't deal with a couple of giant frogs?!" Kazuma said in his iconically sarcastic tone.

"Quiet, you shut-in neet! First of all, I am a goddess who deserves to be worshipped, especially by you! Second, we beat those toads, didn't we?"

"That's not the point, you idiot. The point is YOU DIDN'T HELP!"

At this point, Aqua was pissed off. She had no right to be treated in such a way. So what if she didn't participate in the battle, she didn't want to be eaten. She did not want to be seen covered in frog-slime once again. "Augh! Why can't you just be nice to me for once!?" She grabbed the nearest item near her, which was the mysterious potion.

"Miss Aqua, wait! I don't know what's in that yet!" Wiz called, trying to warn the tempered girl. But her voice was null and void amidst the argument. Kazuma responded with a growl.

"You wanna know why?! Here's the truth: you don't deserve it! You are constantly oblivious to monsters being attracted to you, you are always saying some undeserving words to us whenever you frickin feel like it, and to top it all off, some people you sent here make things unbelievably worse than they already are! So no, you don't deserve me "nice.""

"H-how dare you! I've had enough of your angry remarks! I wish you would just stop being such a perverted jerk!!" Aqua, in her rage, flung the potion at Kazuma's head.

The potion collided with the man's forehead, shattering on impact. The liquid that was inside the bottle suddenly changed its state of matter into a gas, creating a cloud of purple mist, with Kazuma in the centre of it. After a few moments, the mist dissipates into the air, leaving Kazuma to fall front first onto the floor. The girls gasped in shocked as they started to scream.

"KAZUMA!!!"


Thanks for reading. I plan to make many more chapters whenever I get the time to work on them. Though, I plan on making these shorter than I usually make them, just because it's an official chapter-like story. I have tons of ideas that I want to submit, and not just for this story, so I hope you continue to support me. And keep those story suggestions coming!