A Hyrule Historian
Chapter II
Home on the Range
I debated turning around for only a second, knowing that I wasn't going to like what I saw. Unfortunately, if this is Hyrule than there is the very real fact that what I can't see can definitely hurt me. Forcing myself to spin around despite the dread was a harder feat than it should have been.
Okay could be worse, it's just a couple of Stalchildren. My panicked brain tried to reassure me that they were no big deal and could be taken down in 2 hits, but unfortunately that was a rather quiet sentiment when faced with the ungodly horrors that were in front of me. Because, no. No videogame in any of the Zelda series accurately portrayed how horrifying these things were. They clearly weren't human skeletons, that thought alone making me wonder if a Stalfos would be better or worse to look at, they had almost a muzzle shape to their cracked open jaws, and their hands and feet were much larger than any person would likely have. But worst of all, worse than the dull red glow of their eyeless stares, worse even than the horrible crunch and rattle of bones long dead grinding together, was the black spectral musculature that coated them and kept them together. It was dark but still transparent, doing nothing to hide the bones that made up this monster, but true to its purpose stretched and contracted with every sickening movement.
These nightmares of a field enemy were within arms reach before I fully got over the urge to barf. The closer of the two stretched its arm back to give it better leverage to slash at me, but thankfully the only instincts I ever had kicked in.
I punched it square in the jaw.
There was a sickening pop and crack as the head went rolling away from its body. Whatever magic kept this thing together went with the skull as the bones almost comically fell into a pile at my feet. But, with stomach turning horror, I watched as whatever magic this thing possessed, sluggishly dragged the pile of bones towards the skull a yard away.
No amount of horror movies or gory videogames could have prepared me to see this in real life. Even though every fiber of my being wanted to fight these thing, I knew I was only moments away from throwing up, and something told me they wouldn't be kind enough to give me a moment to compose myself. With no other option, I turned and ran towards the stable.
I stumble far too quickly down the hill causing me to lose my balance and pitch forward onto my hands and knees. The fast change in position and the awkward angle of my landing were the last straw for my poor stomach. I only had enough time to quickly move the Ocarina of Time to press against my chest to keep it safe.
Over the blood rushing in my ears and the sound of my dry heaving, I hear a loud yell, a battle cry to match any big blockbuster movie. I feel the wind brush past me as whoever this person is runs to meet the Stalchild head on. I couldn't tell what was going on behind me, having to put to much effort into turning my dry heaving to steadying deep breaths. I had almost gained control of myself when I felt a hand softly touch my back.
"Are you okay to run now? More will come soon if we don't get to the safety of the ranch." The person spoke gently but urgently, seemingly trying to make sure I knew the seriousness of the situation.
"Yeah. Okay." I huffed out, my throat too sore to really put the effort into speaking. Managing to only slightly stumble as I got to my feet, I managed to finally get a look at my savior.
A young woman, probably around my age, late teens early 20s, with long ginger hair and a whole galaxy of freckles across her face stared back at me. She was clutching a wooden post and it combined with the flush of exertion she was sporting gave her an almost wild look.
Oh no, she's hot, was the first thing that crossed my mind.
Oh right, run, quickly took its place.
It was hard to describe the noise that came from a Stalchild violently bursting from the ground behind us. Ocarina of Time always made a kind of ripping noise to signify it, but really it was more of an explosion, like a rock hitting a wall and just shattering straight into dust.
We made it to the bottom of the hill with the too fast rush of running on a downward slope, my legs barely keeping pace with the momentum of the rest of my body. I probably would have smashed straight into the 10 foot, solid, wood fence had my new best friend not grabbed me by the elbow and swung me to run along side it.
Lanterns were hung somewhere above our heads, and for a second I hoped that those would be enough to scare off our pursuers but if the rattle, crunch, stomp behind us was anything to go by, that was a hope wasted. Just when it started to feel like there wasn't actually going to be an entrance and we were going to be stuck running in a circle around this fence until the sun rose, large ornate pillars carved to look like horse heads with lanterns in their mouths came into view. With one last burst of speed, we managed to throw ourselves firmly inside the boundaries of the stable. With too much momentum and not enough stamina, I collapsed into a dive on the ground. The firm hand on my elbow never falters causing my savior to tumble to the dirt with me.
"I'm so sor – Thank –" I try to express literally any of the feelings swirling through my brain, but all that comes of is heavy panting and jumbled sentences.
"Glad to help." Came the sweet response, it sounded as if she would have been laughing if she hadn't been gasping for breath.
I'm not sure how long we laid there in the dirt, catching our breath. Eventually, breathing became easier and the adrenaline worked it way out of our systems. With this shallow sense of calm came the realization that neither of us had changed our positions since falling, meaning I was still face down cheek pressed into the dirt, and my incredibly pretty savior was laying half on top of me. The surreality of the situation wasn't lost on me. Unsure of how to process all of the events that had taken place today, I ended up settling on laughing. Laughing was better than crying, and hey, I was still alive.
This was a wild and fantastical situation, one that I am wholly unprepared for, but I could survive. This little scuffle proved it. Beside, I was made of tougher stuff than anyone would give me credit for. I've spent the better part of a decade managing an anxiety disorder, no two-bit dimension hopping mistake was gonna beat me.
It seemed my laughter was contagious, as my companion quickly started giggling as well. She must have realized she was pinning me down, because I felt her shift and push off the ground until she was resting on her back. I sluggishly turned over as well, hoping for a potentially more comfortable position.
I don't know what I expected. While laying on my back did make it easier to breath, I was still laying on the cold hard ground. I chanced a glance at my companion. Her eyes were closed as she merrily laughed towards the heavens. God, she's so pretty. Now that I wasn't in the middle of a panic attack, I noticed some more subtle details about her. Her incredibly cute little elf ears were pierced multiple times with cute little dangling gems. Her laugh was more of a giggle snort that honestly made her all the more endearing. But, the most interesting detail was probably the red hibiscus flower tucked neatly into the brim of her horrible ranch hat.
I really wish I could say that I was at all chill and came up with something witty to say. Unfortunately, all my stupid monkey brain could come up with was, Pretty Girl. Pretty Savior. Flower. Pretty. Yeah. I was not doing great.
I was saved from my useless loop of thoughts, however by the girl opening her eyes and turning her head to face me. The look on her face held more fondness than I expected, but no so small measure of concern.
"Are you alright?" She asked gently, words a flicker of movement in the suddenly too still night air.
"Um- yeah. Yeah, I think so. Thanks for coming to save me back there. That was pretty brave." I forced out, somehow fighting my way back through the stream of evolution to regain the ability form full sentences.
"Oh! It really wasn't anything special! I'm sure anyone would have come to your aid if they saw you. I'm just glad I could see you up on the hill from the corral." She chattered embarrassed by the praise while animatedly waving her hands above herself. At the mention of the corral she gestured vaguely over past our heads. Instead of spending the effort to sit up and look, I did the obvious choice of bending my neck at an uncomfortable angle against the ground to look up at it.
Sure enough, there was a large oval horse corral, with a dirt track running around the outside. Seeing the unmistakable sight of the Lon Lon Ranch pasture brought an intense sense of nostalgia over me. With no small sense of wonder, I turned my head to look at the buildings surrounding me. The sight that I was met with was more confusing than anything. The small part of me that hoped that I would see more of that familiar Lon Lon Ranch from my childhood, but as I had noticed atop the hill, there was two large tent like buildings, one of which was topped with the likeness of the Horse God.
What was his name? Starts with an M. It's not Malaria but it's close to that I think? Well, whatever. It doesn't matter right now anyway.
I turn my head back towards my savior, only to find her perched on her knees beside me.
"Well, I know it's not the ideal introductory scenario, but welcome to Lon Lon Ranch! You might know about us through our various stables across Hyrule. We are here to assist you in your travels in whatever way we can. My name is Ramona. What's yours?" Ramona grandly, but quietly enough to not wake the sleeping figures in the tent some 20 feet from us.
I figured it was probably high time to stop rolling around in the dirt and try to make myself presentable. Honestly though, that train has probably already left the station. While keeping my hair short definitely helped keep my curls a bit more under control, rolling my head around in the dirt has pretty much assured that I am going to have to rain hell down onto my own head later.
Shit, I just colored my hair today, I shouldn't was it or all the blue is just gonna fucking leave. God, and I finally go it to such a nice navy blue. Apparently, I was too distracted by that line of thought and Ramona started to get concerned.
"Hey, are you okay? Did you get hit by one of those things?" She asked gently moving to check me over for any wounds.
"Oh! No. No. I'm totally fine! No injuries, whatsoever. I've got way thicker skin than a little Stalchild could handle. That's for sure. So yep totally fine." I ramble nervously as I force myself up to my feet faster that I believed I was capable at this moment, "See? Fine." I force myself to stop talking, already mortified at how big of an idiot I must look to this very pretty, not-Malon.
Huh. Ramona. Not Malon. But the similarities between her and the designs for Marin and Malon are too striking to be coincidence. Also, she referred to this place as Lon Lon Ranch. Shit what does that mean?
Again, I had become to caught up in my own internal monologue that I partially missed her question.
"-your name?" She smiled gently.
"Name? Oh! My name! Hi. Yes, I'm Lazarie. Um, it is very nice to meet you Ramona, and thank you again for saving my skin back there." my too fast speech doesn't seem to bother her as she nods excitedly.
My attention is quickly grabbed by movement from behind Ramona. Dread sinks my heart into my stomach as I see 2 more Stalchildren loitering around the opening of the gate. It takes me a second to realize that while they are definitely watching us, they don't seem to be moving closer at all.
"Why…" I trailed off, stupor eating my question whole. Why are they waiting? Why aren't they coming in? I'm not really sure what to ask. Ramona thankfully seems to understand my question, even when I'm not fully sure of it myself.
"Oh, don't worry about them. They can't get in as long as we have the effigy of Malanya watching over us." she motions to the giant horse head residing over the ranch's main tent.
Malanya! I knew I was close!
"Once the sun rises and nullifies the spell, we can then burn the bones to exorcise the spirits and prevent them from coming back. But, that's enough about that. What about you? What are you doing out here in the middle of the night with no supplies or weapon? Did you lose them? Or were you with a group and got separated?" she asked visibly both concerned and curious. It was strange, having this girl I had just barely met fuss over me was a rather new situation for me. Having moved around so much during my childhood and teens had really made it so I couldn't keep up any meaningful friendships. That, coupled with the fact that my parents started relying on me to take care of myself from such a young age, as they were too busy trying to keep a roof over our head and food on the table, made it strange when anyone showed more than a passing concern for me. Maybe that just happens when you save someone's life. Heaven knows how many NPCs I have become emotionally attached to because I spent too much goddamned time rescuing them, I wasn't gonna waste that by not becoming their friend.
Oh, wait, crap. She was asking me a question. Um, why I was alone? Crap. Crap. Crap. What do I say? What did she say about losing my group? That's a safe bet. But, wont she want to help me find them? God! This is hard! Just say something!
"I'm from another world, and I performed a magical ritual, and now I'm here, and I didn't think it would work, so I didn't pack any supplies, and now I'm stuck here…" No! Not that! Why did you say that! Stupid. Now she's going to think you're insane, and never want to talk to you again. Or, maybe feed you to those Stalchildren still standing outside the entrance.
In my panic, I smacked the Ocarina of Time, which somehow I miraculously held onto throughout all of this, against my throat as I tried to run my hands over my neck to calm me down. I guess, the choking coughs that it resulted in did make me forget about the panic for a second.
Hey Hylia? If you can hear me right now, could you like… kill me? Save me from myself? That would be great. I was pretty wrapped up in my internal prostration that I was caught off guard when Ramona started her intensely endearing giggle snort.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, but you're just so cute! Another world, huh? Well, that would explain these oddball clothes of yours! I thought they might be some kind of new Ordonian fashion. They don't seem too handy to travel in, and us being so far from Saria Town, it would be nothing short of a miracle for that thin of material to still be in one piece." She chuckled while motioning to my clothes, which yeah… white crop top, white pants, and cable knit cardigan maybe weren't the smartest adventuring gear. At least I had leather boots on? Does that get me a point in practicality?
Wait. Did she call me cute? Wait! Did she say Ordonian? Did she say Saria Town? What fucking game am I in?
I had to force the wheels in my brain to stop, because as confusing as the implications are right now, I do need to be present for this conversation.
"You believe me?" I asked quietly, worried that she might be joking about this. Should I want her to be joking? If she believes me, then I wouldn't have to worry about keeping up with a story. It's a nice thought, I guess.
"Of course, I do. Strange, unexplainable things happen all the time. I don't see how this would be that farfetched. Besides, I have a feeling I would've been able to tell if you were lying. You have a pretty expressive face." She assured me while reaching up and gently tapping my nose.
I could feel my cheeks warm up, with the simple motion. I finally noticed how much smaller she was than me, which, to be fair, wasn't hard. At just shy of 6 feet tall, I was taller than most people I've ever known. But, this girl had to be almost a foot shorter. I wouldn't really call her petite. Despite her sized she definitely looked the part of a hard working ranch hand. It did make me wonder how similar she looked to Malon. Or Marin. Both.
"Thanks." I try to put everything I'm feeling at the moment into that one word. I'm not sure if I really succeed, I'm too embarrassed to make eye contact at this point.
"Well then, Miss Lazarie, alien girl, why don't we go over to the water barrels and try to work out some of the dirt from our hair?" She offers, voice warm and gentle.
I might have nodded my head a bit too rigorously, certain that my, already nightmarish rats nest for hair, was flung around ridiculously.
Later that night, after we spent an unfortunate amount of time washing, then combing, then washing again. I had been loaned some clothes to sleep in, apparently the kept spares for the workers, and had been swiftly shuffled off to Ramona's bed, her not needing to use it while she worked the nightshift lookout duty and not wanting to get in trouble for letting someone use one of the rentable beds for free. Though, from the sounds of it, she wouldn't have gotten into much trouble if any, her father, Timon, being the owner of the entire Lon Lon Ranch enterprise. But, I wasn't going to complain, a free bed, that happened to smell like hibiscus due to the small bundle she kept next to it, was more than I could have asked her for.
Now, I was alone. Since she actually lived here she was in a separate tent from the main one. Once under the canopy, it actually appeared to be more of a house, with wooden walls and floors to luxuriate with. It also meant that I had an actual room to myself.
I looked over at my little star shaped purse, so very out of place on her wooden nightstand. I had finally caved and put the Ocarina of Time inside it out of necessity. I can't say my heart didn't stutter a bit in panic. "Do Not Let Go Of Your Obsession" playing on repeat in my head. It actually took a bit of effort to pry it out of my hand. Grip frozen from the stress and exertion of making sure I didn't drop it during any part of the night. Unfortunately, my phone had not been so lucky. I'm not exactly sure when I lost it, but it definitely didn't make it inside the ranch with me. I could always search for it tomorrow during the day, but that could wait.
Now, every question that I had put off thinking about was rapid banging around my brain. A percussive beat of questions I did not have an answer to. Frustrated I flopped onto my other side, hoping maybe that angle would bring the sleep I desperately craved. But, as seconds stretched to minutes, not only did sleep not come, but the niggling paranoia of not being able to see my purse, therefore not knowing if it had managed to disappear, join the already too loud cacophony of noise in my brain.
It wasn't long before I turned to face it again. Thankfully, and unsurprisingly, it was still on the nightstand where I left it.
Maybe I should check and make sure the ocarina is still there.
Knowing that my stupid anxiety brain wasn't going to stop unless I checked I lazily flopped my hand onto the nightstand to grab the strap of my purse and proceeded to pull it over onto the bed. Sure, enough, there was the Ocarina of Time, looking only slightly out of place perched on top of my everyday items. Reassured, I moved to place the purse back onto the nightstand, but paused.
Better check one more time. Just to be sure. I looked into the bag again. Yep, still there. Still a strange impossible looking blue stone. Still perched on top of my lipstick and wallet full of now useless cards.
Again, I moved to put it back, before sighing and just committing to cuddling it like it was a stuffed animal. It may not be as soft as Captain Crunch, but it did make me feel a bit safer knowing it was in my arms. I spent a moment lamenting the loss on my banana shaped alligator stuffed animal. Note to self, next time you play a ritual game make sure to pack the belongings you don't want to lose. Or maybe just don't ever play one again.
I take a deep breath to try and focus my thoughts. In cases like this, I would usually write a list so I could organize said thoughts, but without a notebook or my phone I would have to settle for a mental list.
1. I magically transported myself into Hyrule.
That wasn't so bad was it? I mean, that's every fangirl's dream, and it's not like I hadn't spent my entire childhood pretending to be on an adventure with the Hero of Time. Speaking of…
2. I was currently in possession of the Ocarina of Time.
Well, to be fair. I haven't tried to play it yet. So technically, it could be something different. That looks exactly like it. And is way to magical in appearance to be a normal item. And magically replaced my little clay one when I got here… Yeah it's probably safe to assume it's the Ocarina of Time.
3. I have absolutely no clue what game I'm in.
This was really the root of my frustration, I think. Unfortunately, I have a lot of conflicting info at this point. The stables obviously make me think it's Breath of the Wild. The fact that this stable is Lon Lon Ranch pushes me towards Ocarina of Time. Then, Ramona mentioned both Ordonians and Saria Town, which belong to Twilight Princess and Adventure of Link respectively. On the subject of Ramona, that fact that she's here and not Malon kinda hints that this isn't Ocarina of Time…
That thought makes me a little sadder than I would like to admit. But honestly, Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask were my first Zelda games. To this day they're still my favorite. I felt a bittersweet pang of nostalgia. I was so little when my cousin, François, gave me his N64 because my parents could barely afford a TV let alone a videogame system, even one as outdated as the N64. I never really got to see him again, which is a shame because he really was one of the most influential people from my childhood. I should've told him how much he meant to me. I hope he's okay. But, I've gotten sidetracked again.
What was I thinking about?
Right, what game. Hmm. So, there is also the fact that there is something going on a Hyrule Castle… But, really that could be almost any game that Hyrule Castle appears in… The weird lava lamp effect kind of reminded me of both Twilight Princess and Breath of The Wild.
Damn, this would be a lot easier if I could just ask Ramona what game I was in. Well, I could at least ask what's going on at the castle, at least that would give me some idea of the current events. Oh! Maybe I could ask for a map. If I could see the general geography of current Hyrule, I might be able to tell what game from just that.
With that small spark of inspiration, I settled down to sleep at least a little bit before the sun rose. The rest could wait until the morning.
The next morning came quickly. Though I must've only slept a couple hours, I was too restless to stay in bed once I caught sight of the first rays of dawn. Putting on the basic skirt, blouse, and belt outfit Ramona had set out for me. All together the outfit was a little short and a little big for me, but with the belt it didn't matter much. Besides, most women's clothes were too short for me.
Exiting the tent/house combo, I was greeted by a strange mixture of typical ranch animal smell, and cleaner air than I had ever felt in my life. Now that I wasn't too over stimulated from a panic attack, I could even enjoy the feeling of a morning in a place with no pollution. No even the countryside in France was this clear.
I resolutely set out to find Ramona, hoping she was just going to be in the corral again. I couldn't help but feel a small buzz of excitement vibrate through my bones. In a strange way, this almost felt like a real world use of my major. Asking the locals about relevant events was an important part of being a good historian. Just because I had outside knowledge of the history of this kingdom, didn't actually mean much in the face of actual citizens.
I need to play it cool though. I should pester Ramona with too many questions. Heaven forbid I wear her patience thin. I was trying to think of what questions would be best to get the most information I would need when I walked through the gate to the larger pasture area of the ranch. Thankfully I had been correct when I assumed she would be out in the corral. But, upon seeing her every single thought I had screeched to a halt.
It can't be.
Apparently, first thing in the morning they let the horse out into the corral. Ramona was in the process of leading some of them out. And following her along by the reins she held, was a rather surly looking Epona.
I continued walking towards the corral, knowing that we would reach it about the same time. I honestly felt like I was floating instead of walking. My heart beat so loudly in my ears that I really couldn't comprehend anything besides the sound and the image of a real life Epona in front of me.
I used to always think all those videos of girls screaming, crying, and fainting when they're close to a boy band or celebrity were ridiculous, but here in this second I understood them on a spiritual level.
"Lazarie! I didn't expect you to be awake so early. Did you have trouble sleeping?" Ramona called out as soon as she spotted me.
And, while I would have loved to answer her very kind question, my mouth seemed to forget how to work in the moment. So instead of the casual, 'I slept fine, I'm just an early riser.' I had wanted to say, what actually came out was, "S'fine, I'm rise."
I still hadn't taken my eyes off Epona. I honestly don't think I could at this moment.
"She's beautiful, isn't she? But, be careful. She still rather new around here and has a bit of a temper." Ramona chuckled at me. That got my attention.
"She's new? So she wasn't raised here then. Did someone register her here?" I asked, theories rapid firing through my brain. Maybe Link has already come by here? There are only a handful of games where Link has Epona, and if she's not from here that could really narrow down the possibilities.
"Oh no, she's doesn't have an owner. She actually found her way here herself. It seems like she got separated from her herd and found us instead. She's still pretty wild, so she doesn't really like any of the other ranch hands. She seems to really like music, though. I'm pretty sure that's the only reason she tolerates me." She explains merrily giving her a pat on the head.
"Oh! That's… Well, that's unique. But, I can't say I have much room to judge. Does she have a name?" I try to make my question sound as casual as possible, but it still comes out a bit forced. So, no Link then. Okay, that's fine.
"Oh, no. Not yet, she doesn't. I'm not really sure if she likes it here enough to stick around, yet. I'm also not sure if my dad is going to let us keep her if she keeps trying to bite people. So, it feels wrong to name her when she might not get to be here much longer." She rambles rather sadly.
My heart fluttered at that. Part of me wanted to immediately reach into my purse and pull out the ocarina. I really wondered if Epona would still react to the song, even if she didn't have the association to with it from her childhood. I figured I should probably wait until it was less conspicuous to do so.
By this time, we had already reached the center of the corral and Ramona had taken off the lead from Epona and the other horse with her. Epona swiftly left us behind so she could run around at her leisure.
"I'll be right back. I need to go get the last two horses and bring them out. Will you wait here for me?" Ramona asked cheerfully. My heart warmed just a little bit at the question, it felt like maybe she wants to talk to me as much as I do her.
"Yeah. Okay. I'll wait here for you." I replied fondly. It was a little strange, already feeling so warmly about a person that honestly I really didn't know. But, she did save me from those Stalchildren, and who wouldn't feel a little camaraderie with someone you literally rolled around in the dirt with. It's been a long time since I made such a fast friend, it was nice.
As I stood alone in the middle of the corral, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of peace. For the first time since coming here last night, I really felt like I was going to be okay. I didn't know how to get home, but that didn't really matter right now, because I was safe, I didn't end up in an unfamiliar world, and I knew that things would turn out okay. After all, this is a Zelda game, and no matter which one it turned out to be all Zelda games had one thing in common: Zelda games are always about healing from grief.
I was going to be okay.
Suddenly, I came upon the realization that I was alone, in the vicinity of a nameless horse that looks exactly like Epona. And I have the Ocarina of Time. Can't get a better opportunity than this, can I?
Seeing the ocarina in the daytime was a way more surreal experience than it had been before. The early dawn light reflected off the stone in a way that made it look almost iridescent. Ever since Skyward Sword, there had been the theory that the Ocarina of Time had either been made from the Doors of Time or was made of the same stone that they were. Having it in my hands, I honestly believed that to be true.
I took a steadying breath before placing the instrument to my lips. Finding the familiar placements was still easy even with the difference of size.
Here we go.
I had to force myself not to close my eyes, nerves desperately wanting to delay seeing if this worked. I started slow, already surprised at the deeper and clearer tone that this ocarina had as compared to my little clay one. But soon enough, the familiar lilting melody filled the air around me. In that moment, I could understand why Link always looked in surprise at the ocarina once he finished playing a brand new song. The music had a presence. I don't mean that I was a fantastic musician, I had just short of a decade of experience playing an ocarina and this was like nothing I had heard before. No. This was not my doing at all. I'm a firm believer that there is magic in all things, and if you listen carefully you can hear it. But, not even when I read tarot cards have I felt this kind of a presence around me.
I let myself revel in the sound for a bit longer than I intended, having only planned to play a couple repetitions. I was eventually interrupted by a strong nuzzle to the back of my head. In wonder, I turned around to come face to face with Epona; because there was no longer any doubt that this was in fact Epona.
I gaped at this gigantic animal completely in awe of how large real life horses are. In response to my stupor she huffed a deep breath straight into my face sending my short hair backwards off my forehead.
"Rude." I whispered as I slowly reached up to pet her. She allowed it for a couple seconds before nosing around my other hand and towards my purse. "I don't have any treats for you. I'm sorry." I apologized as I move on to petting her neck.
"Lazarie! Was that you playing?" Ramona called from the entrance of the horse corral. After closing the gate and letting the last 2 horses off their leads, she jogged over to join Epona and myself. "Wow! I haven't seen her be this nice to anyone before. That's amazing. Though, I can't blame her. I could only barely hear you song and it sounded so beautiful. It would have won me over too." She gushes as she joins in on petting the horse that is not yet Epona.
"Thanks. I… She seems really nice now. I can't imagine her being mean to other people." I mumbled cheeks tinted with embarrassment.
"Oh don't let her fool you. She tried to bite Gotter just yesterday when he tried to brush her. Isn't that right?" She shamed the horse. Not-Epona did not react to the admonishment seeing as she is a horse. "Speaking of Gotter, I'll need to go wake him up soon for his shift. Once he takes over I can whip up some breakfast for us. Do aliens like omelets?" She asked with a teasing grin.
"This one does."
Ramona and I sat around the fire pit and cooking stove munching on the chicken and cheese… cuckoo and cheese? Whatever. The bird and cheese omelets that Ramona had made us. The accompanying hot tea she brewed gave the whole meal a cozy homesteading kind of feel.
Not felt as good a time as any to finally start asking Ramona some questions. "So, Ramona. Last night, when I was up on the hill, I saw something going on at the castle across the valley. A black ooze of sorts coming off of it, and a golden light that seemed to be keeping it in. Do you know anything about it?" I asked trying to be both concise and open in hopes of getting as much information as possible. I hadn't thought to go outside the fence to look at the castle in the daylight, or any other landmark I could see from here. I would have to do that later.
"Oh… Yes… That's the Calamity. The golden light is the Princess's seal. She gave her life to protect us from the Calamity. It's trapped inside the castle now. It's best not to get to close to the castle now though. Some of it seeps out sometimes, makes just horrid creatures. Monsters in Hyrule Field are bad enough, but that thing… They're nightmares." Ramona explained with a heavy sense of melancholy. Wow, that was easier than I thought it was going to be. So, this is definitely Breath of the Wild. And really it made sense, yeah there was a slight difference with the set up of the stables, but that's only minor, and Calamity Ganon only ever showed up in that game.
Oh shit. Does that mean the guardians are gonna be everywhere? That might make travelling a bit difficult.
"Sorry. I know this might sound strange, but does the Calamity exist in your world? You just… don't seem surprised or confused by it, is all." Ramona asked quietly.
"No. Not really. But, I have heard of it. There are… stories… um, legends, I guess, about Hyrule and it's history. I never thought they were real though. But, yeah. I know what the Calamity is." I explained as best I could. It was really early and Ramona was being so nice to me; I really didn't feel up to lying to her about this… about me. I could leave out the things she wouldn't understand like videogames and still keep the essence of what I was saying truthful.
"That's good. Not having the Calamity there, I mean. It must be nice to not have that hanging over your head." She replied wistfully. Trying to think of a question I could ask to change the subject to something light was difficult. I hadn't expected the first answer I got to so firmly put me in one of the games. What else could I ask her?
Come on brain. What had I thought about last night?
A map? Right!
"Ramona, do you happen to have a map? I think that my help me better understand where I am." I asked excitedly. That was it. If I could see a map, and it was the same one as Breath of The Wild then that would really confirm that it's indeed the game I'm in.
Good job, Lazarie. You're so smart, Lazarie. A little mental praise could be useful every now and again.
"Of course. We have one in the main tent for travellers to look at." She replied brightly, "We could go finish our food at the table in there and look at it, if you would like."
"That sounds wonderful." I heartily agreed and carefully made my way to my feet, mindful of the food and drink in my hands. No five second rule when your standing on dirt after all.
Making our way inside the main tent, I was struck with how similar it was to the games. It was a bit larger, and it seemed like they might also sell their Lon Lon Ranch milk out of here as well, but that was about as far as the differences went. I was so excited about the milk that I almost completely missed the sight of a woman sitting on one of the bed brushing her hair, having clearly just woken up. Parcy. So this must have replaced the Riverside Stable.
Parcy, the treasure hunter, had been one of the random NPCs that I had really liked. She was cute and helpful with how to get into the castle. It was strange seeing her in the flesh versus on a game screen. She was so similar to the avatar in the game: same round face, same heavy bangs and even bob, that she was easy to recognize if you knew what to look for. There was something really reassuring as well about seeing her though. Not because it further supported my theory of being in Breath of the Wild, but because she was so clearly East Asian. One of the things that I really love about Zelda is even though it's a medieval fantasy setup; it is so multicultural. Like, it obviously flaws, and many problems with racist depictions over the years, but there was really no divorcing it from its Japanese background. Then with the temple obviously drawing from many different cultures it really made for a wonderful blend of diversity.
Hopefully, some of the problems of the game wont carry over to real life.
Ramona quickly got my attention and waved me over to the table. She had already spread the map out over the surface and used her plate and cup to hold down two of the corners. I mimicked the gesture placing my own cup and plate over the two remaining corners and proceeded to study the map.
At first, it was a little bit difficult to read due to never having to read a map that wasn't on my phone before, and the fact that this was a monotone hand drawn map instead of an interactive digital one. But, after studying it I slowly started to recognize features. Death Mountain and the Gerudo Desert were the first and easiest things to find. But, eventually others followed behind until I could say with some certainty that is was definitely the Breath of the Wild map.
Pride at figuring out which game I was in filled me, with only a little tinge of disappointment. I had already suspected that this wasn't going to be Ocarina of Time, but I guess I had still been holding onto a little hope that it was. Whatever. Get over it. It's not like I haven't spent the past couple years procrastinating my homework so I could play just a little more.
"Well? Does it help?" Ramona asked quietly so as to not disturb any of the other inhabitants of the tent.
'Yeah. Yeah it does. Are we about here?" I whispered gently placing my finger on the map about where the Riverside Stable was on the map. She adjusted my placement only slightly before nodding. I continued to ask where other locations were, Hyrule Castle, Kakariko Village, Zora's Domain, and others like them. Just seeing these places on the map filled me with energy.
There's a whole world out there, a world that I've been dreaming of since I was a child. I knew I couldn't just hang around here and wait for the Hero to show up. But, I needed to be careful. I was going to need supplies and a sword. I doubt punching a Guardian or a Moblin was going to do much of anything. Okay, so I need to calm down. No use rushing things and setting out too soon, not while I was safe here.
"Ramona, I don't have any money, but do you think I could stay here for a little while? I've never worked with animals before but I'd be willing to learn any odd jobs that need to be done? Just until I get things together enough that I can set out on my own." I plead quietly holding my hands in front of me.
"Of course. I'm not gonna let them just throw you out of here. You can stay as long as you need. Besides, it's already been pretty fun having you around." She teased giving me a wink.
And, just like that, I officially had a safe haven in a brand new world.
Notes:
Hey guys! Thanks for making it to chapter 2! I want to give a real big thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter! They were so nice and made me so happy. I must have read them a dozen times each over the past week. One of them even gave some great questions so first thing let's answer those.
For the question about The Eclipse Game ritual:
So I did make the game from scratch. I have a bit of an obsession with games like that, though I am a baby and do not play them. I did however do quite a bit of reading on similar types of games for research.
For the question about how many chapters before discovering the discrepancies:
So as you can obviously see from the chapter above, she is already noticing things aren't perfectly in sync with the game. This is a major part of the story so it's going to be happening pretty constantly, but it's obviously going to take a bit of time before she really begins to grasp that her entire grasp of "Canon" might not be as factual as she previously believed.
Again, thank you so much for the lovely reviews. They mean the whole world to me. And if anyone has any more questions please leave them in the reviews, I will try to answer them in the next chapter's notes. Also, please let me know what you guys think of the chapter! I would really love some feedback.
So, I don't really have a set in stone update schedule planned yet, but I am hoping to give you guys a new chapter once every week-ish. I can't commit to that completely because I am an adult with an adult life to live, but it is my goal to get a chapter a week. I'm also very hopeful that I can do it. So until next time,
Thanks
