12 November 1972
"I can't find Sirius."
Remus looked up from the table that he and Lily were sharing in the common room. James was standing over them, looking agitated.
Remus frowned. "What d'you mean?"
"I can't find him," James repeated anxiously. "I haven't seen him since breakfast—he left to use the loo and he never came back."
Remus put down his quill. "Is he with Peter?"
"No, Peter's showering upstairs."
"Maybe he's finally come to his senses," Lily said in a withering voice, "and found himself a better best friend."
James shot her a glare, opening his mouth angrily to respond, but Remus quickly intervened. "Has he got a detention today?"
"Wouldn't surprise me," Lily said coolly, turning back to her essay. "I heard the two of you put Bertram Aubrey from Ravenclaw in the Hospital Wing with an engorged skull."
"He deserved that," James retorted. "He was being a sore loser about the match yesterday."
"Oh, and I suppose Severus deserved to have a dungbomb slipped into his schoolbag on Thursday, did he?" Lily demanded, swelling with anger.
James narrowed his eyes at her. "I didn't see you rushing to my defense last Monday when the greasy git used that toenail-growing hex on me before Potions."
"That's because you're a prick, James Potter," Lily snapped, gathering her books and shoving them into her satchel. Climbing to her feet, she flung one last loathsome look at James, before turning to Remus. "I'll see you later, Remus."
Remus gave her a weary wave as she stalked across the common room to join Mary Macdonald and Honora Griffiths by the fireplace. Then, he faced James, shaking his head.
"She's actually really nice," Remus said in a low voice. "You know, when she's not—"
"—biting my head off?" James said furiously, glowering across the common room.
"Well, yes," Remus sighed, closing his Potions book. "But let's get back to the more pressing issue here—where's Sirius?"
James's irritation disappeared at once. "I don't know," he lamented. Then, he lowered his voice. "He got a letter in the owl post this morning. What if it's something to do with his family?"
Remus bit his lip. "All right—you grab Peter and start searching the seventh floor, work your way down. I'll start at the ground floor and work my way up. If we meet in the middle and we still haven't found him, we'll take it to McGonagall."
James nodded swiftly, turning and scrambling in the direction of the nearby dormitory staircase. Sighing, Remus rose to his feet and began packing his books and parchment into his schoolbag. Looking up, he glanced absently around the Gryffindor common room. It was packed with people—unsurprising, given that it was a Sunday afternoon and that the weather outside was absolutely horrid; rain was hammering relentlessly against the common room's bay windows. Remus's eyes landed briefly on the knot of second year Gryffindor girls sitting on the hearthrug—and at that very moment, Lily looked up and caught his eye. She grinned at him.
Then, Lily reached out and nudged Mary Macdonald in the ribs. Mary looked around and spotted Remus—and suddenly, her face split into a luminous smile. She waved brightly at him, and Remus smiled bemusedly back at her. He didn't know Mary very well. Apart from having sat next to her in Transfiguration a handful of times, Remus had barely spoken to her. She was giggling furiously now, her face buried in Lily's shoulder.
Remus blinked, feeling nonplussed. Girls could be rather strange sometimes.
Shaking his head, he swung his schoolbag onto his shoulder and headed for the portrait hole.
He spent nearly half-an-hour scouring the ground floor of the castle, but to no avail. Sirius wasn't in the Entrance Hall, nor in the Great Hall, nor in any of the classrooms. Remus's investigations of the first and second floors were similarly uneventful, save a rather ill-timed run-in with Peeves outside the History of Magic classroom. The poltergeist proceeded to follow Remus around for several minutes, chanting, "Loony, loopy Lupin!"
Halfway through searching the third floor of the castle, Remus suddenly realized that he hadn't checked any of the locations below ground level—the dungeons or the kitchens. He had no idea why Sirius would ever choose to visit either of those two locations alone, but Remus was nothing if not thorough—he had to make sure. No sooner had he decided to turn around and head back for the staircase, however, that he saw him—Sirius, sitting against a wall at the far end of a deserted third floor corridor, his head in his hands.
Remus froze in his tracks, staring openmouthed down the corridor at his friend's subdued form.
"He appears to be in shock, the poor fellow."
Remus startled. Sir Nicholas, the ghost of Gryffindor house, was gliding slowly up the hallway toward Remus, his expression grave.
"In shock about what?" Remus whispered, continuing to gaze at Sirius's small, hunched outline in the distance.
"He didn't wish to discuss the matter with me," Sir Nicholas sighed, glancing back at Sirius over his shoulder, as well. He looked at Remus. "Perhaps you will fare better, being his friend." The ghost smiled, reaching out and patting Remus's shoulder—causing Remus to feel as though his arm had been plunged into ice-cold water. Then, he floated through a nearby wall, out of sight.
Remus swallowed, turning back to face Sirius. Briefly, he contemplated dashing upstairs to find James and Peter, so that he wouldn't have to approach Sirius alone. But then, he shook the idea away almost immediately. It was a cowardly thought. Besides, as Sir Nicholas had reminded him, Sirius was his friend—and this was what friends did, wasn't it?
Taking a deep breath, Remus set off down the corridor. Then, when he was about a foot away from Sirius, he came to a stop.
"Sirius?"
Sirius jumped violently, sitting bolt upright and looking at Remus in shock—and with a slight blow to his chest, Remus noticed that his eyes were bloodshot.
"Remus?" Sirius asked, in a voice that was too full of bravado to be convincingly nonchalant. "What're you doing here?"
Remus set his schoolbag on the flagstone floor and knelt down in front of Sirius. "You disappeared during breakfast," Remus said, watching Sirius carefully. "It's nearly lunchtime now." He waited for the space of a few heartbeats before adding, "Is everything all right?"
Sirius didn't respond, but Remus saw his jaw clench slightly.
Swallowing heavily and wondering whether he was crossing a line, Remus continued, "Sirius…James said you got a letter in the post. Did something happen—with your family?"
A dark look crossed Sirius's face and Remus knew at once that he had guessed correctly. He expected Sirius to shrug his shoulders, smile forcibly, and assure him that everything would be fine—but to his surprise, Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. Then, he reached into his cloak pocket and withdrew a rumpled scroll of parchment, holding it out toward Remus.
Remus stared at his friend, but Sirius didn't meet his gaze. Very slowly, Remus reached out and accepted the scroll. Then, gingerly, he unfolded it and smoothed out the creases.
Dear Sirius,
I wanted you to hear this directly from me before you went home for Christmas and heard it from either of our mothers.
I've run away.
I'm so sorry, Sirius. Really, I am. But I'm in love, and I have been since sixth year. The thing is, Ted's Muggle-born, and I always knew that Mother and Father would never approve of him. And when I came home after graduation and found out that they had gotten me betrothed to Rabastan Lestrange, I knew I had to make an escape.
I thought I'd have more time. I was planning on waiting until the holidays. I thought I'd be able to tell you all of this—say goodbye—in person, but last week, I found out that I'm pregnant. I've been sneaking around with Ted behind Mother's and Father's backs since summer, and I suppose we weren't being as careful as we thought we were.
Sirius, for the sake of both your safety and mine, please don't respond to this letter —o r write to me at all — until things die down at home. Bella will hunt us both down if she finds out that we've had correspondence , and I just can't afford that: I'm responsible for a whole other human life now.
Ted and I saw a midwitch yesterday. The baby is due in mid-June. I really, truly hope that you'll be able to meet them someday.
Love,
Andromeda
P.S. Ted and I are getting married in two weeks. He's asked me to tell you that if only you could attend, he'd have made you one of his groomsmen for sure.
P.P.S. Please destroy this letter after you finish reading it.
Remus stared down at the letter for several long moments, his mouth agape. Then, he looked up at Sirius, blinking rapidly. "She's pregnant?"
Sirius took the letter from Remus, his expression unreadable. "She ran away," he said. "She's gone."
Remus frowned. "Sirius…that's not—"
"She was the only decent one, Remus," Sirius interrupted in a numb voice. "Meda…even after I was put in Gryffindor, she was…" he trailed off, swallowing. "Now, even Reg's in Slytherin, with stupid Cissy breathing down his neck every minute of the day. I don't…I don't even know when I'll see her again."
Remus didn't know what to say—not because he didn't understand how Sirius felt about his cousin, because he did. It was the same way Remus felt about his parents, after all; they were everything to him. But Remus couldn't even begin to fathom a situation in which he would be forced to bid his parents goodbye in such a brutal manner.
But then, he remembered how many houses his parents had moved out of, just to keep the family together. How much sleep his father had lost, trying to find a cure, a way to save Remus. He remembered the fear in his mother's face whenever there had been a knock at the front door. And he remembered that horrible, horrible moment, two days earlier, when he had thought that he had lost James, Sirius, and Peter, lost his place at Hogwarts—that prejudice and hatred would cost him his life as he knew it—and suddenly, a fierce rush of sympathy for Sirius welled up in Remus, overwhelming him. Reaching out, he gripped Sirius's shoulder tightly.
Sirius looked up in surprise, but then quickly looked away. For several minutes, they sat in silence, and Remus pretended not to notice as Sirius impatiently wiped a few tears away from the corners of his eyes.
Then, at last, Sirius cleared his throat. "I'm being stupid," he muttered. "It's not like she can—I can't honestly expect her to stick around. She—she's pregnant, for Merlin's sake."
Remus smiled at him. "D'you realize what this means?"
Sirius frowned. "What?"
Remus pointed at the scroll in Sirius's hands. "Come June, you'll have two decent cousins."
Sirius stared down at the letter for a long moment, his mouth slightly open. Then, very slowly, a broad grin spread across his face, lighting up his features. Eyes gleaming, he looked at Remus. "I have no clue who this Ted bloke is, but he's my bloody hero."
Remus burst out laughing.
Author's Note:
Early update this week for Thanksgiving!
Ari
