v.


"Maybe," Toushirou says to himself, out loud, forcing his voice to be calm in hopes that his thoughts would follow suit and shut up. "Maybe I haven't ruined everything."

He takes a deep, deep breath. Releases it slowly.

Saying it aloud doesn't make him believe it any less, but there is something cathartic about it anyway.

"After all," Toushirou continues, voice insistently measured, as he tries to lay out the facts as he knows them. Sometimes iteration helps. "I don't know how Karin will react. I don't know what she thinks. I don't know what will happen next."

Of course, he could jump to a few conclusions if he wanted to predict a couple of worst case scenarios — that he had made Juushirou too irresistible, too alluring, too suave and Karin would dump this 'Daiki' in an instant and immediately want to be with Juushirou but —

"I am overreacting," Toushirou says with gritted teeth, angrily wishing that his thoughts weren't so loud. He closes his eyes and breathes out and lowers his shoulders, hoping that he will believe his own lies. "I. Am. Over. Reacting."

Toushirou gives up eventually, making himself a cup of tea before promptly going to sleep.

Tomorrow will be a better day.


Tomorrow is not a better day.

Tomorrow is a worse day.

Toushirou wakes up feeling groggy; having slept restlessly, his mind still whirring from yesterday's mistakes.

That doesn't stop him from trying to be objective; sorting out some factual evidence that he's gleaned from this nightmare of a situation, hoping that this time around he'd be more successful at either finding a solution or feeling neutral about it instead of instantly jumping into panic mode.

He knows that Karin had liked the look of Juushirou. He knows that Karin considered Juushirou to be attractive even if she didn't know his personality that well.

(In hindsight, Toushirou had not reacted well to that revelation.)

However, whether Karin continued to like Juushirou after Toushirou had… had talked and behaved like he imagined Juushirou might… and Toushirou has to pause at that thought, and repress the embarrassment that threatened to consume him, it was an entirely different issue.

Maybe Karin found Juushirou's personality off-putting. Maybe Karin thought Juushirou's personality was appealing.

Toushirou has no idea, because when the whole 'Hitsugaya Juushirou' debacle started, long before Juushirou even had a name, long before Karin had become a part of it, he hadn't designed his fictional older brother's personality to correspond with Karin's perfect fantasy boyfriend.

Momo had created Juushirou's personality to be the exact opposite of Toushirou.

But what if the person that Karin is romantically inclined towards is the opposite of him?

What then?


Wait and see, Momo had told him, right at the beginning, and like a fool, he hadn't listened.

This time, he would.


Two days later, when Toushirou approaches his office, he hears the voices of Matsumoto and Karin in enthusiastic conversation inside.

"How sneaky of you!" Matsumoto lauds in a delighted voice. She claps, full of praise. "Karin-chan, you clever girl."

"Yeah," Karin replies, and Toushirou can hear her smirk, all too easily imagining his best friend looking satisfied, glowing, like she did when she's particularly smug about something, not even bothering to keep the smile off her face. "I thought so too."

"What?" Toushirou says, intrigued by the subject matter, and deciding that he shouldn't eavesdrop any longer and enters his office. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" Karin shrieks, her voice uncharacteristically higher pitched than normal.

He folds his arms across his chest, unconvinced.

Toushirou waits.

"If you must know," Karin rolls her eyes, cheeks flushing as she tells him. "Your brother dropped by."

"I see," Toushirou says, feigning nonchalance. Inwardly, he begins to prepare himself for both outcomes. "And?"

"And nothing!" Karin states tersely, continuing to be flustered as she stresses once more, glancing at Matsumoto, with a meaningful look, and to Toushirou, with a slightly guilty look. "Absolutely nothing happened."

Matsumoto snorts.

"Karin-chan played soccer with Juushirou, Captain," Matsumoto announces cheerfully, much to the consternation of Karin.

"Ran-chan!"

"You're among friends," Matsumoto winks, utterly delighted with the state Karin is in. "There's no need to be shy."

"Still," Karin says, pointedly after a beat. She huffs, and then sits up, her back ramrod straight, hands folded over her chest, suddenly way too defensive it's almost comical. Her cheeks darken red as Karin mumbles. "Yeah, we played soccer for a bit. That's all. Nothing wrong with that."

"Of course not," Toushirou drawls, quashing down any niggling feelings that suggest that he might have made the situation worse. It was just soccer, after all.

Badly played soccer, but still.

It's been two days since he's played soccer as Juushirou, and that's plenty of time to have calmed down and realize that Matsumoto would try and hype it up when she found out about it.

Toushirou refuses to give her the satisfaction, keeping his expression unimpressed.

"Even I play soccer sometimes," Toushirou deadpans.

Karin plays soccer with a lot of people. Nothing wrong with that.

"True," Matsumoto agrees easily. If she's disappointed by his reaction, then she doesn't show it. Undeterred, she looks knowingly at Karin, and grins delightedly. Karin glances back, expression guarded. "Except it wasn't playing soccer, was it, Karin-chan?"

Matsumoto waggles her eyebrows, and Karin laughs, evidently finding Matsumoto's reaction ridiculous.

"No, I guess not," Karin amends, smiling good-naturedly at Matsumoto in her unbridled glee. Karin turns to Toushirou, and says, matter of fact, "I just taught him the basics. Happy, Ran-chan?"

"Very."

"Was he any good?" Toushirou enquires, wondering if Karin would sugar-coat the truth or not.

"He was alright," Karin says, shrugging. "I found it a bit weird that Juushirou didn't know anything about soccer, though."

"Is that weird?" Toushirou asks, surprised by her answer. "It's not like I carry a soccer ball to our family reunions, Karin."

The image of Momo, Juushirou and himself being a soccer trio of some sort is, quite frankly, absurd.

"I guess," Karin shrugs. "It's just. Didn't you tell him that I was good at soccer?"

"I did," Toushirou confirms, feigning the act of thinking back, while he comes up with a plausible explanation, not sure which scenario he prefers. Maybe Juushirou never bothered to ask. Maybe Juushirou did ask, and Toushirou told him, and then Juushirou promptly forgot. "It probably slipped his mind. Juushirou can get… carried away at times."

"At last, a family resemblance," Matsumoto cheers, and Toushirou promptly ignores her.

"Fair enough," Karin says with a small smile, amusedly glancing at Matsumoto. "Well, that's pretty much all there is to it. Juushirou dropped by for an afternoon, I gave him a brief rundown of how to play soccer, we hung out and it was fun."

"The way Karin-chan told it to me, Captain," Matsumoto pipes up, ever so sly and crafty. "Made it sound like she was being very helpful."

"Oh, absolutely," Karin agrees, appreciatively, and they grin at each other, then burst into giggles.

Not knowing what to do, Toushirou just stands there awkwardly, until they stop.

"I'm a very good teacher," Karin states simply, trying to smother her grin, as if that's that.

She was not, Toushirou wants to object, except he's not supposed to know what actually happened that day.

"And Juushirou is very clumsy, I hear," Matsumoto teases, and Karin's cheeks glaze pink. "I expect he's glad he met such a helpful girl like Karin-chan to whip him into shape."

"Don't talk about my brother like that!" Toushirou snaps, heat rising through his cheeks at the insinuation. He refuses to think about how his clumsiness is an occasional side effect of having to get used to growing tall so fast and he definitely could do without any commentary from Matsumoto's filthy mind.

The only good thing about practising being his future self is that he becomes less clumsy the more he uses it.

He was just about okay the first time he met Karin as Juushirou, since he didn't have to move at all. The second time, not so much. On top of feeling self-conscious and tense, it was difficult to even kick the ball because he wasn't used to playing soccer in that form and didn't feel in control. Of course he'd trip up and pratfall.

He'd get better at it, of course. Hopefully, he'll regain his bearings much quicker than this time around.

He's just rusty at the moment.

"Then again, what if that was part of his ploy?" Matsumoto winks, with an air of conspiracy. "What if he liked how helpful were you being, and fell a few more times on purpose?"

No.

Just… no.

"What are you saying?" Karin arches her eyebrow, her voice taking on a conspiratorial tone, matching Matsumoto's. "That getting a close up was my reward?"

Matsumoto looks inordinately pleased.

"Bingo," Matsumoto snaps her fingers, and Karin's blush floods into a darker colour. "You did say he some pretty phenomenal abs, right, Karin-chan?"

"Um," Toushirou says, before Karin has the chance to speak, and Karin blinks at him, like she'd forgotten he was in the room. "What?"

It's not that he doesn't know that his future self has 'phenomenal abs' — ever since Kuchiki pointed them out, and Karin had readily agreed with her, in utter awe.

But it still takes him by surprise to be found attractive.

"What are you saying?"

"That Juushirou is a smooth operator, Captain," Matsumoto reports cheerfully, flashing a smile. "And Karin-chan is a saucy minx, that's what."

It had never occurred to Toushirou that Juushirou's action s could be interpreted like that. For a moment he second-guesses himself, but that doesn't make sense. He would never be intentionally clumsy, just for the sake of letting Karin pull him up. If Karin had tripped up, he would have offered his own hand to help her without even thinking about it.

Then he remembers: Matsumoto liked to rile people up, saying things she didn't mean just to make to embarrassed.

This was just another one of those times.

How easily he forgets.


"Don't you have a boyfriend?" Toushirou lifts his eyebrow, as he walks her back to her home. Usually Matsumoto does it, but this time she insisted, scarpering the first chance she got.

Besides, he just wants to check. No harm in that, this time around.

He's positive.

"I do, yes," Karin says, folding her arms, and raising her chin at him. "What about Daiki-kun?"

Daiki-kun.

He pauses, swallowing, and then asks, uncomfortable. "Should he be worried?"

Jealous, even?

"No, why?" Karin blinks at him, and he can't decipher whether it's a feigned look of innocence or genuine confusion. She reiterates. "All I did with Juushirou was teach him the basics of soccer. Ask him if you don't believe me. Seriously, Toushirou, what's there to worry about?"

"I don't know!" Toushirou says, even though he knows he shouldn't be worried — he was there, he was Juushirou, after all. But his heart is thunderous in his chest, still not in the clear yet. Even with common sense at his side, he can't escape the doubtfulness, the disastrous what if. "Nothing, I guess."

"You seem disappointed," Karin teases, and looks at him with fondness. There's an amused smile playing on her lips as she waits for him to respond.

"Relieved," Toushirou instantly corrects her, setting his mouth into a frown. He shakes his head and sighs, admitting, "Matsumoto had made it sound like…"

"Oh," Karin's cheeks redden when she realizes what he's referring to and her eyes widen before she looks away. There's a moment of awkwardness, before Karin tries to shrug it off and sound light-hearted. "C'mon, Toushirou. You know Ran-chan. What she's like."

"Always making something out of nothing," Toushirou agrees with a wistful smile, hands in his pockets and staring at his shoes. He feels like a fool. "I should have known better."

He's doesn't want to see what expression is written on her face.

"Yeah, pretty much," Karin confirms, gently and there's no malice in the sound of her words, only affection, ringing loud and clear. Toushirou doesn't have to look at her to know that she's smiling at him. He can hear it in her voice, warm and bright like sunlight. "Your brother's hot, Toushirou, but, not that hot. Were you… hey, were you worried about me?"

"No," Toushirou answers, after a pause, indignant. Heat suffuses through his face. He wasn't. Not like that. Not really. "I was… I was worried about him."

"Juushirou?"

"Yeah," Toushirou nods, with false conviction. "You don't know him that well, Karin."

"Can't say that I do," Karin agrees easily, and then regards him thoughtfully. "Think I'm beginning to get an idea though."

"Is that so?" Intrigued, Toushirou meets her gaze and indulges in his own stupid brand of reluctant curiosity. "What did you think of him?"

"He's fun," Karin admits with a megawatt grin. "I like him. He's kind of ridiculous, you know?"

Ridiculous is right, Toushirou agrees, nodding. It's definitely one of the reasons that Toushirou doesn't like him.

"He's… a little bit more head in the clouds than I would have guessed, but that's alright. Juushirou seems like a person that I could really get along with," Karin finishes, honest, and then with a sheepish smile, she gives him a nudge. "I thought that he'd be… more serious, actually."

"Serious?" Toushirou repeats, baffled.

"Mmhm," Karin nods, folding her arms behind her heads, freely sharing her thought. "If you asked me what I thought Juushirou would be like before I met him, I'd have said that he'd be serious. Yeah. More like you. Maybe aloof. Big brothers tend to be aloof; Ichi-nii is definitively aloof. I wouldn't have guessed in a million years that he'd be your polar opposite."

"That's… well, that's Juushirou for you," Toushirou shrugs, sighing. He muses about his fictional brother. Wonders if anyone thought he would turn out like that. "He always did like to defy expectations."

He wonders if Vice-Captains Kuchiki and Abarai think that Hitsugaya Juushirou they met a year ago felt like the same Hitsugaya Juushirou that Momo has fabricated in present day. Back then, Toushirou was awkward and flustered and too embarrassed to admit the truth, deciding in the heat of the moment to go with their assumption. Now nothing could compel him to ask in current day.

He thinks about when Karin met Juushirou, and acknowledges that perhaps he hadn't changed much, in that respect.

Still, he can't help but wonder what Kuchiki and Abarai thought about the rumours that Momo created to make Juushirou into a believable person.

And then there's the other Kuchiki to consider, who does knows what they think, but also knows the truth and doesn't say a word. That Kuchiki must think them all lunatics for letting their assumptions escalate and grow to this point.

"I guess. But see, I thought he'd be kind of… uptight, and definitely always frowning at everyone. I'm glad he's not though! Mind you, I bet you anything now that Juushirou would stay polite and goofy up until the second he was pushed too far, and has a hell of a temper," Karin grins, fiendish and Toushirou rolls his eyes. "Rather like a certain someone I know."

"Quiet," Toushirou flushes, but there's no bite in his voice. "I do not."

"Oh, please," Karin shoots him an unimpressed look. "You so do."

"Do not!"

"Do too!" Karin sticks her tongue out, and he doesn't have the heart to argue once Karin does that, making a face instead. "Bottom line, Toushirou, is that Juushirou seems alright to me."

"He's annoying, you mean," Toushirou mutters, desperately trying not to think about how Karin had described Juushirou as 'alright' before, and then admitted that she had a big fat crush on his brother a couple of days later.

Karin glances at him, her expression unfathomable, before shuttering into something sympathetic.

"He's your big brother," Karin says, a kind smile unfurling, "I think they're supposed to be."

"Probably," Toushirou snorts. Whatever happens, at least he can say with total honesty that Juushirou has been nothing but a thorn to his side. Apropos of nothing, he says, "I want to meet Daiki."

"Are… are you sure?" Karin asks, blinking at him, slightly thrown by how abruptly he changed subject.

"I'm sure," Toushirou nods, and then arches one eyebrow at her. "Why? Don't you want me to meet him?"

"I didn't say that," Karin protests, and Toushirou smirks. "You just caught me off guard, that's all. I'm curious, why now?"

"No reason in particular," Toushirou shrugs, attempting to be casual. If he's being honest, he'd rather talk about Karin's boyfriend, who is completely real, rather than his brother, who is completely fictional. "You've been dating him for a while now, and I have yet to meet him. Is that a crime?"

"No," Karin sighs, and blows a flyaway strand of hair from her face, to no avail. "It's just. Well. You've never taken an interest in my boyfriend before."

"You've never had one before," Toushirou points out.

"True," Karin concedes, shrugging, and getting out her phone. "You want to meet him now?"

"Why not?" Toushirou agrees, certain that he's made the right decision, certain that he's damned himself for eternity.


Karin's boyfriend Daiki is nothing like Hitsugaya Juushirou.

He's nothing like Toushirou expected.

He's got a quiet and wry sense of humour and looks at Karin with stars in his eyes, like she's the most important person in the world. He's polite and good-natured and grudgingly — grudgingly — Toushirou supposes that he likes Karin's boyfriend.

By virtue of being nothing like Juushirou, at least.

"So how long have you two been dating?" Toushirou asks, determined to be civil. It's a feat that's remarkably easier than pretending to be his own exuberant and energetic big brother.

"About two weeks, nearly three," Daiki says, with a soft smile. "Karin-chan is really great."

"You think so?" Toushirou says, sardonic, mock confused, as if he has no idea what Daiki could mean. Karin kicks his shin, as a warning. Lightly, of course.

"Of course," Daiki says with a dreamy sigh. "I've admired her for a long time."

"Aw," Karin grins, lacing his hand with hers. "You're sweet."

Despite the gesture, Toushirou can't help but privately notice that Karin does not look nearly as love-struck as Daiki does.


Toushirou decides that it's none of his business.

Karin's love life is not his concern — unless it concerns Juushirou, that is.


"You sly dog!" Hirako says to him, when Toushirou returns to Seireitei, clapping his shoulder. "So that's the way you're going to play it, eh?"

"Excuse me?" Toushirou stares at him. Glowering at him is often an effective technique, Toushirou finds.

If anything, that makes Hirako even more impressed.

"Playing it cool, huh? Nice. Very nice!" Hirako whistles, making Toushirou feel even more confused than usual when talking to him. Hirako always seems to be both in a world of his own and two steps ahead of everyone else that it always leaves Toushirou disorientated. "I'm still not going to help you, you know. Not yet, anyway, not until you say the magic words."

"Buzz off?"

"Tch, not even close," Hirako shakes his head, disappointed in him, feigning hurt. "Not to worry, Captain Hitsugaya, your secret is still safe with me."

"Wonderful," Toushirou remarks dryly, watching Hirako mime zipping his mouth shut, and wishing that it was permanent.

"I'm glad I was wrong," Hirako beams, revealing all his teeth and giving him the cheesiest wink that Toushirou has ever witnessed before Hirako saunters away. "This is going to be far more interesting that I thought it would be. Seems like there's hope for you after all."

What, Toushirou frowns, staring after him in contempt, is that supposed to mean?


It hasn't even been a day since Karin told Matsumoto and Toushirou that Juushirou visited her.

How has then news spread so quickly?

Then it hits him —

Matsumoto is President of the Shinigami Women's Association.

"Drat."


Momo is mad at him.

Furious, in fact.

It's evident in her pursed lips, her heightened shoulders, the glares she keeps sending in his direction — that is, when she's not too busy ignoring him or making a point for him to notice that she is busy ignoring him.

"Momo," Toushirou says, startling her when he announces himself behind her and she fails to stifle a yelp. He'd feel bad on any other occasion, but he's had enough. This is the only way he's be able to grab her attention. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I'm sure you're sorry about a lot of things," Momo mutters, bitter, trying her damndest to look red faced and angry instead of red faced and embarrassed. She shoots him a glare to prove her point. "Like sneaking up on me! You know I hate it when you do that!"

"I know," Toushirou answers, absentmindedly. He's not actually sorry about sneaking up on her because it always entertains him, but he does his best to look remorseful if it means that Momo will talk to him. "I'm sorry about that too."

"No, you're not," Momo shakes her head, unconvinced. "I know you better than that."

"You're right, I'm not," Toushirou concedes bluntly, and then folds his arms over his chest. "But I am sorry that things turned out this way."

"Elaborate," Momo snaps, fiercely.

"I should have told you right away that I went to Karin and visited her as Juushirou," Toushirou confesses quickly, keeping his voice quiet and evenly toned. "I meant to. I did, Momo. But you know what I'm like after my bankai ends —"

"I do."

"— and I know I should have told you before I went to Karakura Town, but I was being impulsive and stupid! I see that now. I should have stopped myself before any of it happened, but all of a sudden, there I was, visiting Karin as Juushirou, like I couldn't control myself!" Toushirou babbles, the words pouring out of him while Momo listens with a neutral-ish expression. He takes a deep breath. "Afterwards, I was completely freaking out, so I took your advice, Momo: wait it out. Do nothing. I calmed down eventually, but by then, telling you had completely slipped my mind. I'm sorry, Momo."

"I thought we were in this together, Shirou-chan," Momo says, quietly but firmly. There's still an edge to her voice, but there's something akin to softening in her expression too.

"We are," Toushirou assures her, refusing to back down until Momo believes him, and when she does, nods. He sighs, regretful. "I'm sorry you found out like this. Who told you?"

"Rangiku-san," Momo answers, and he supposes it's a blessing that she heard through Matsumoto rather than Hirako, with his flair for drama. "It was a bit of a shock."

"Yeah, well," Toushirou says, shrugging. "Now you know what it's like to learn something about our brother second-hand."

"Are you forgetting that I learnt about his very existence through the grapevine in the first place?" Momo points out, lifting an eyebrow, and Toushirou quickly shuts up, chastened. "That's what I thought."

"Okay, but that was before we agreed that we were in this together," Toushirou amends, thinking back to those simpler days when nothing had spiralled out of control. Those fleeting minutes before it came crashing down. "I didn't like learning about his personality days after you created it, and you didn't like learning that he decided to reappear in Karakura Town days after he did. Shall we call it even?"

"Okay, fine," Momo agrees with a small smile. "We're even, and you're forgiven."

"Thank you."

"But," Momo continues, and Toushirou's mouth goes dry, knowing he's not out of the woods just yet. The brunt of her anger may be gone, but Momo can hold onto her grudges forever. That's the way her heart has always worked: she can forgive, but she will not forget. "We definitely need to talk about this. So, we'll meet up after our shift ends, and then you are going to give me the full details, and we'll work out what to do from there."

Toushirou exhales.

"Alright."


His shift can't end soon enough. Even Matsumoto notices, commenting that he seems unusually impatient to leave — and Toushirou deliberates for a moment before admitting that he's meeting Momo, and Matsumoto's expression flickers, her eyebrow quirks, and in a sly voice, she notes that he was finally able to get Momo to stop avoiding him, eh?

Toushirou, of course, doesn't bother to answer, hurriedly seeking out Momo instead, and they make do with small talk until they reach Momo's living quarters.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be, Shirou-chan," Momo says, resigned but determined to hear him out, when it becomes clear she cannot stave it off any longer. "You can begin anytime."

When he's finishes recounting his sad and sorry tale, Momo does not look happy. In fact, she's looks the opposite of happy.

"You promised to see her again," Momo states flatly, her violet eyes boring into him with judgement. "Shirou-chan!"

"What was I supposed to do?" Toushirou demands, defensive, his shoulders pinched. He's never actually acted as Juushirou before, and he's not entirely certain he was able to act as Juushirou this time around either. No, Toushirou merely said the first things that came to mind that weren't too unbearable to say and regretted saying them instantly anyway.

"To not promise it!" Momo retorts instantly, hollering. She takes a deep breath, and says, in a restrained voice. "If you're worried about Karin-san being infatuated with Juushirou-kun, you don't go and visit her as Juushirou-kun in the first place, and if you do that anyway, then you don't make promises like 'I'll see you again'! Or do you want your big brother to break that promise?"

"He might!" Toushirou argues, partly obstinate, partly hoping that that it's not too late to edit their brother's personality slightly. Or maybe — maybe not even that — he could bend the situation and make his actions seem like a plausible character choice, based on what they've already said. "Juushirou's flighty! Maybe he forgets promises — promises that he might make all the time!"

If nothing else — personality isn't set in stone.

People change.

Good or bad — it's still character development, right?

"Do you really believe that he would?" Momo shrieks, hands on her hips, blatantly not liking where he was going. "You and I both decided that he was flighty, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have good intentions. He's got a good heart, despite his fickleness."

"I think so too," Toushirou concedes with a reluctant sigh. Truth be told, he can't see their imaginary big brother play out the scenario he wants so desperately to happen. His mind whirs, trying to stall for time and think of alternative solutions. "He's not that fickle. Alright. How about this: he might forget that he made a promise in the heat of the moment, but he'd remember sooner or later. And when he does, he would do his best to honour it."

"That sounds… yes, I can see that," Momo agrees, breathing out a sigh of relief. A concession. "That makes him seem noble. Our dear brother is noble and well meaning, but unfortunately, forgetful."

"How'd he turn out so different from us?" Toushirou quips, sardonic.

Momo laughs, relishing the chance to weave some more backstory for their convoluted white lie that they've continuously added to in order to suit their purpose.

"Baa-chan spoilt him long before we came along," Momo says, relaxing, as she becomes a storyteller. "The thing about Juushirou-kun was that he always knew that he was the favourite. And he liked being loud and goofy. Most of the time, it made us laugh. Other times, it didn't."

"The point is, Juushirou didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know how anyone would react to his antics, stumbling on what worked and what didn't. But that didn't stop him from trying. Whatever the consequence, he would do it," Toushirou contributes a small portion. It lacks the finesse that Momo has, but there's an element of truth in his narrative. They say the best stories have a grain of truth to them. He looks at Momo, tentative. "How's that?"

"It's good," Momo smiles, supportive. "I like it."

"Thanks," Toushirou says, and exhales, unsure why he hasn't admitted the next part sooner. He should have, but somehow he can't shake off guilty feelings. "I think if Karin had any suspicion that I was Juushirou, then she doesn't anymore."

"Did Karin-san even suspect in the first place?" Momo asks, giving him a strange look. "Most people who reveal they have an older sibling that they've never mentioned before aren't hiding the fact that said older sibling doesn't actually exist or that they themselves are the alleged sibling in secret disguise. I don't think anyone has jumped to that conclusion when they learnt about Juushirou-kun."

"Karin didn't either," Toushirou admits, despondent, disappointment flickering in the corner of his mind, wishing that Karin had seen through him instead of being blinded by… abs, or something. "But, in case she had, Momo, now Karin definitely believes that we're two very different people."

"Alright," Momo says, her mouth twisting like she wants to say something but holds back. She studies him, concerned. "So. Karin-san."

"Yes?"

"Is she infatuated with Juushirou-kun again?" Momo presses, curious with the outcome of his misadventures in espionage. "Since you — I can't believe you kissed her hand, Shirou-chan!"

"I thought it was the right thing to do!" Toushirou retorts, blustering, still mortified that he actually did that.

"The right thing to do?" Momo repeats, growing incredulous, eyebrows lifting. "How was that the right thing to do?"

"I don't know!" Toushirou shouts, succumbing to the pressure and panicking. Through ragged breath, he tries to make an excuse. "It was a spur in the moment thing!"

"What were you thinking?"

"That I had to do something flirty! No, not flirty! I mean —" Toushirou flails, desperately trying to think of any word than flirty. "Swoon worthy! You said that everyone who met him fell in love with him and I… I had to do something, Momo! Kissing Karin's hand was the only thing I could come up with at the time!"

Momo stares at him, aghast.

"Shirou-chan," Momo says, slowly. "It is a swoon worthy gesture, but still! That doesn't mean you should have done it!"

"Well, it's done," Toushirou grumbles, vibrantly blushing. "Too late now."

Before Momo says anything in response, Toushirou decides to focus on a more important prior question.

"I don't know if Karin likes him like that, again," Toushirou admits, thinking about how Karin lit up when she talked about Juushirou, that she considered his big brother to be fun and ridiculous and someone she could see herself getting along with very well. "She definitely considers him attractive. And she says she likes him, but she didn't specify in what way."

It could be platonic.

It could be reawakened feelings.

"Alright, let's put that on hold for now," Momo shrugs, deciding with a sigh that the information gleaned is inconclusive. "At least, we can state that she doesn't mind his personality."

"Yeah," Toushirou says, sourly. Karin definitely doesn't mind Juushirou. He pushes the thought away, and rakes his hand through his hair, looking at Momo. "Should I be worried?"

Momo doesn't answer. Not right away.

Instead, she furrows her brow, contemplating. Her hand curled in front of her mouth. Eventually she meets his gaze.

"That depends on you, Shirou-chan."

He blinks. "On me?"

"Yes," Momo nods, and peers at him, searchingly. "What do you think is going to happen here? This… this, um, friendship you have with Karin-san as Juushirou-kun?"

"I… don't know," Toushirou admits, quietly. Out of the four people that know the truth, Toushirou can confide in only Momo. "I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Now would be a good time to think about it," Momo says, firmly. "What's the first thought that comes to mind?"

"Well, nothing, really," Toushirou admits, sheepishly. "The only thing that matters is that Karin never finds out that I am Juushirou."

"I don't like it, but okay," Momo presses her mouth into a thin line, and closes her eyes. She breathes out through her nose. When she opens her eyes, Toushirou can see resolve. "Then the best advice I can give is that you don't be Juushirou-kun, Shirou-chan. Don't visit Karin-san. It's one thing if our big brother is nothing more than a collection of stories we've made up. It's another thing completely if you… how to say this… gosh, it's so strange to say! If you… if you make him real to Karin-san when you know he's anything but. You'll be making things worse, not better."

"I understand, but," Toushirou hesitates, hastening to remind Momo. "Juushirou did promise to see Karin one more time. And we did just agree that Juushirou is someone who keeps his promises."

"Give me strength," Momo mutters to herself, looking annoyed with herself. "Yes, alright, fine. Go see Karin-san again as Juushirou-kun, if you must, but make sure it's the last time. Please."

"But what if Juushirou takes an interest in Karin and wants to see her again?"

(What if Toushirou wants to be better at soccer when he's Juushirou and impress Karin?)

"For goodness sake, Shirou-chan!" Momo snaps, staring at him with wide eyes, mouth falling open. "You can't just say something like that!"

"I was being hypothetical! I know Juushirou is fictional!" Toushirou flusters, stressing, realizing too late how that sounded. He didn't mean anything by it. But he can't suppress his apprehension. "But Momo, last time, when I was pretending to be Juushirou, I would just say things. I would say anything."

He just doesn't stop to think when he's being Juushirou. He would just open his mouth and words would fall out. Things he would never say.

Was it the rush in adrenaline? Was it being in that form?

Toushirou doesn't know.

"Shirou-chan," Momo says, softly, looking at him with alarm. She says nothing for a moment, making Toushirou feel self-conscious, but if he's being honest, it worries him too.

It feels like he's balancing on the precipice of something dangerous, and he's teetering at the edge, in a state of flux. Embarrassment holds him back, but if this escalates yet again, would he be able to prevent himself from being consumed by it?

"The longer this continues, the worse it's going to get," Momo tells him, eventually, discomforted by the thought. "How long is this going to last, Shirou-chan? A couple more days? Months? Years? How often are you going to visit Karin as Juushirou, and pretend to be someone you're not?"

"Once," Toushirou insists, because any more is out of the question. "I promised Karin that Juushirou would play soccer with her one more time. That's it."

"Okay," Momo breathes out, and nods. She can't hide the troubled expression on her face, but she believes him. "I'm sorry if I sound harsh, it's just. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't."

"If something bad happens to you —"

"Nothing is going happen," Toushirou interrupts, because Juushirou is going to visit Karin once more and that's it. He knows why Momo is worried, but he won't let history repeat itself. "Momo, I became Juushirou to protect you."

"Before he was called Juushirou," Momo remarks, quick to point out, and her hand gestures at the open air. "And he gained all this… personality."

"Yeah," Toushirou says, grinning suddenly, "but that was your smart idea."

"Hush!"

It dawns on him then how daft their predicament is. How far it's spiralled from a simple misunderstanding that he didn't have the heart to correct, to constructed personalities and elaborate backstories, to bad acting and a repeat performance and he can't help but laugh incredulously, Momo joining him.

"How did we even reach this point?" Toushirou asks, astounded, after the laughter fades.

"I don't know but I still can't believe that it's ended up like this," Momo admits, wiping her eyes and smiling at him. "We're talking absolute nonsense like it's the most important thing!"

"And we say it with such a straight face!" Toushirou marvels, despite himself. "How is that possible?"

It feels like the first time he can take a step back from this situation, and genuinely see with Momo how ridiculous it really is.

"Oh my," Momo says, before she dissolves into giggles again. "Shirou-chan, can you imagine what Baa-chan would say if she knew?"

"She wouldn't even hesitate to join in," Toushirou says, with droll fondness. "Baa-chan would say 'I can't believe you didn't tell me about him sooner!', and instantly be able to come up with plenty of stories of her own. Like she's always been looking after you, me and Juushirou."

"Baa-chan might even call Renji-kun and Rukia-san geniuses," Momo hums, delighting in the possibility.

Well. He wouldn't go that far.

"This would have never happened if it wasn't for them," Toushirou says, and in one dizzying moment of clarity, he doesn't know whether to be amused or annoyed by them, for creating this whole mess in the first place.

"And yet," Momo says merrily.

"And yet," Toushirou agrees.

Here they were.


"Baby brother," Momo teases him later, during dinner, laughing as she tests the words out again and again and again. Now that her anger has gone, Momo much prefers to make fun of him. "Baby brother."

"Shut up," Toushirou hisses, flushing bright scarlet. "It was the first thing that came to mind!"

"Whatever you say, baby brother," Momo says, unable to stop smiling at him. If anything, her smile widens.

For the next couple of days, whenever they cross paths, Momo mouths the words at him, and Toushirou deeply regrets telling her anything at all.

"Why can't you just call me Captain Hitsugaya!"