A/N: So. This hasn't been looked over by anyone but me, and I legit just finished it before posting it. Hope you enjoy.
Although they had both greatly disliked the idea Lucy and Emma had allowed the three little ones to stay at Regina's for the night. As they had known that Emma was far to angry to be around them. Not to mention too angry in general, she had basically allowed Lucy to take point as she had fumed several feet away before she'd gotten into her car. Knowing if she didn't lock herself inside she'd finish strangling the damn wolf.
Nothing slipped past her lips for several more hours, for fear of what would come out. The duo had returned to their quarters at the bed and breakfast. Emma had sat on the couch. Staring at the blank television. Back ramrod straight. Hands clutching her knees, just steeping. Anger and pain coursing through her in ways she hadn't thought possible anymore.
"Do you. Em. Do you still love her?" Broke the silence, Lucy had asked so quietly it had nearly been a whisper. Yet. Her words rang loud as she sat down onto the couch. Next to Emma, looking at the blonde who refused to tear her gaze away from the screen. Seconds that felt like an eternity passed.
Silence once more enveloped them. Both woman knew that they knew the answer already. Emma didn't want to admit it to herself, let alone aloud. Lucy, she just needed to hear it. To hear Emma say it. It would hurt, it already hurt, but she knew if she were ever to move on from the blonde. She'd need to hear it. At least once.
"There is nothing I can do to stop it, I just. Can't help it" Admitted Emma finally. "You have to know that. I can't stop, if I could. I would have a long time ago. There will never come a time where I can move back the feelings that still haunt me" Lucy's clenched her eyes shut for a moment, letting the pain wash of the admission wash over her.
Across town in Regina's mansion a group of people were watching their interactions. Watching everything that was going on. Before they had arrived Granny had, reluctantly, allowed Mulan to set up a few hidden cameras in their room. Belle was toggling through the screens to get the best view and sound, which was aided by the magical components added to the cameras themselves.
"I don't know, this doesn't feel right. Should we really be watching this?" David asked. "I believe it should just me me and Snow. We are her parents" While everyone had not liked this plan, they had felt it was needed. Now. After the BBQ, it seemed even more likely that this was the only way to get true answers.
The glares he received from every person save his wife shut him up rather quickly, as while he truly believed he was better then them in all ways, he knew they could kick his ass. He, like his wife, was none too bright, but Regina, Mulan, and granny glaring at him with murderous intent when already riled up by the day's events made him cringe and take a few steps back. Not wanting to incur there wrath.
"Kiss me" Emma's head snapped to the side to look at her friend, blinking in surprise. Much like the spies did. Emma wasn't sure what she had just heard. "Kiss me" With that the savior knew she had heard what she thought. Sadness filled her as she sighed.
"I can not love you in that way Luce, not like you deserve to be loved. You are my best friend, and I do love you. I can't imagine you not being a part of my life. I love your children. But I am not in love with you. I won't ever be able to love you in the way you want me to." Her words were honest, but still cut through Lucy's heart like a knife.
Once more silence took over, filling the air for a few minutes. The words sinking deep inside of both parties. Then Lucy stood up and turned to face Emma. Swiftly plopping down, a knee on either side of Emma's legs. Wrapping her arms around the woman's neck. PRessing their foreheads together, her ass on the blonde's legs.
"I know, I know you can't love me like that. As much as I didn't want to admit. I knew it all along. I hoped, I won't deny that. But I know. I know okay? But. Right now. Just kiss me. Please. I know it doesn't mean anything important. Just. Kiss me Emma" In the end, it was a demand and a plea all in one.
As if on autopilot Emma's hands came to rest on the woman's hips. Her eyes drilling deep into Lucy's. Then she what the woman was begging for, she kissed her. Their lips meeting softly. Slowly. Causing everyone watching to cringe. Tears coming to the once evil queen's eyes. David stuck out his tongue in disgust, watching his child make out with someone was not something he needed to see, regardless of age.
"I. I just can't. It just feels completely wrong, like I am cheating on her" Whispered Emma sadly as she pulled away. Making Regina want to fist pump in victory while simultaneously wanting to collapse into a ball and cry. The warring emotions she had were driving her insane, just as Emma's were making her crazy.
"Don't think Em, just do. Don't allow your brain, heart, don't let anything interfere. Alright? You haven't been with anyone since her, so. Calm down, relax, and let your body take over. See where this can go" With that the woman was kissing Regina's true love once more.
It was clear that Emma was trying to do as told, kissing Lucy back. They continued to kiss, the savior's hands holding onto the woman's hips in a vice grip. Lucy's hand on the back of the couch as the kiss deepened slowly. Five long minutes passed as they made out, not knowing about the audience watching at the mansion .
Then it was over. As all too soon, for both women on the couch, Emma had pulled away and just began to cry. Her body shaking as she clutched onto Lucy. Pressing her head firmly into her friend's stomach. Lucy rested her head on top of Emma's and rubbed her back. Whispering that everything was going to be okay, that didn't stop Emma from sobbing.
'Why can't I Luce? I don't work, fuck. I wish. I wish on every star. That I. That I just didn't love her anymore. That I could move on. I can't even fucking kiss someone, let alone do anything beyond without thinking I should be hung for my actions" Sniffled out the generally strong woman.
"It's going to be okay, I promise. Emma. You just need more time, you can get over her" She was doing her best to reassure her friend, but Emma just clutched her harder. Shaking her head against Lucy's stomach. "I wish I could tell you how to do it, but I don't know what will work for you. All i know is one day. You will move on. You just have to keep faith in yourself" All Lucy could do was hope her words would get to her friend.
"I don't think I ever cna" Emma whimpered against her. "The best I can do. It just. Rip my boy and run. So far she can never find me. That means abandoning Henry. That means new identities. A different country maybe. But Rhydian would miss her. He loves her, but I can't leave him."
The thought of never seeing Emma again made Regina hurt to her very core. Especially since it was all her fault. It hurt the woman to know that this was how much she had destroyed the woman who she had been destined for. The once evil queen could only wonder if there was truly anything she could ever do that would allow her to earn Emma back. To be worthy of her trust, and her love.
"I hate the very idea, because I know you deserve better. But. Regina. You know how much she wants you back. Everyone does. Will you? Emma, will you go back to her in the end?" Lucy asked. Her question causing Regina to literally stop breathing as she awaited the answer.
"Lucy. I. I don't think I would survive that. I can't. I can't survive going back to her. Can't survive finding her with someone else. After everything. I think my only chance of living, existing, is to stay as I am now or run far away" Admitted Emma.
Regina stepped backwards under she fell back into the couch. Covering her face with her hands. Determined not to cry in front of these people, or anyone. Determined to one day win her true love back. To one day be worthy. Wishing, more than ever before, that she could go back in time. To change what she had done. To kill her old self if necessary to save the woman she loved from this pain.
"Do you forgive Regina for what she's done? It had taken Lucy a long time to let go and forgive her own ex-wife. In the end she had, and she never been happier. But she had also realized that they hadn't truly loved each other. Emma pulled away and looked at her. Shaking her head.
"You still don't understand, there is absolutely nothing to forgive. I am the one who will never be enough for someone. The only person I have ever been enough for is my precious boy. And one day. Rhydian will marry and have kids of his own, and I'll be left alone. It's the way it was meant to be."
Only two people privy to the heartbreaking conversation, knowingly or not, were unaffected by the savior's words. Her so called parents. The people who thought she should worship them and their needs. To give them whatever they demanded. The two people who believed they were better than everyone else. Snow White and her fake Prince.
"You are enough, Emma you are more than enough" Lucy said angrily. "Even if you would never touch me, never kiss me, never love me, I would gladly stand at your side given the chance. I may not be your one, but someone out there is. They are out there. So use me if that is what you need to do. Or use someone else. You are worth so much more than you think you are"
In a move that had Lucy startled and letting out a surprised yelp Emma had switched their positions so that Emma was on top. Her body on top of Lucy's. Pinning her down onto the couch with all her strength. The woman's shirt halfway unbuttoned. Two pairs of lips getting bruised from the ferocity of the kissing before Emma snapped out of her and climbed off of the other woman. Apologizing profusely.
Before she had a chance to finish her apologies for her behavior the door to the room was being thrown open with an ear shattering thud. Lucy screamed while Emma balled her fists. Standing before them, in the doorway, was none other than the Wolf. The very woman Emma had been rolling around in dirt and blood a few hours before.
A/N: So. With the holidays coming up and such I probably won't be able to post until January. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Happy Holidays, and as always, please let me know your thoughts.
