Whew I made it to class just on time. But my teacher looks mad anyway. His name is and the only thing that would make him worse is if he tried dabbing or flossing. Actually I take that back, as cringey as that is at least those teachers actually want us to like them. Oh gosh he's gonna ask me to smile again isn't he? Please don't.

"Wow Ran you just made it! Why don't you smile more? Come on please?"

I tell him, "I don't know, maybe being forced to wake up and go to somewhere we're you're judged on everything and pressured into getting grades is enough to kill anyone's mood."

He then says. "Unless you want to be a neet young lady you'll take school seriously okay?"

The words on the screen fuzz out until they're like clouds, 's voice just one long noise of words. Words whose meaning gets lost. Oh, of course, I should be taking notes. And he keeps calling me on Class Dojo. And takes away my points whenever someone else does something he doesn't even like.

"The Heat Death of the Universe."

Now that was clear.

"Oh Ran I knew you had it in you to smile."

And I didn't know you had it in you to inspire my song's theme. I text Tomoe, Tsugu, Moca, and Himari to see if they agree with me on our theme. The heat death of the universe, complete oblivion, complete peace. The weight of the universe isn't on you without a universe. No one's there to police you, or judge you for your looks parents friends or popularity when the stars evaporate. Too bad it's trillions and trillions of years away. It's a shame that so many generations after ours will have to deal with the weight of an evil conformist system. No one to enforce double standards, no one to feel entitled to another person's body, no moms bitterly sighing walking past your bedroom door. No more cheaters or users and my gosh does it sound great.

Oh look it's Himari. "Hey besties! I don't know if I can help. Sorry, I just don't think I'm a real bassist."

I put my arm around her, "Of course you are! I feel like a fake too sometimes, like I'll be exposed as a fake. But there is such a thing as too humble."

I look up the word on my phone to show her, "having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

lower (someone) in dignity or importance."

So yeah if you tell the world you're humble it'll be more than happy to take the hint and treat you like you're less important.

Tomoe smiles nodding, "Yep, and they'll feel entitled to have their egos stroked."

We keep walking in the courtyard and a girl looks at us and says to her friends, "Oh my gosh that's Ran, her and Tomoe are such cool rebels."

I like hearing that, makes me feel light and fuzzy and a bit giggly.

I see Kaoru I wonder what she's doing? I swear Kaoru knows literally everything about Shakespeare. She never ever got less than perfect in drama or English even once in her life.

Tomoe asks, "Isn't Kaoru so dapper and dashing?"

Kaoru closes her eyes and says in an emotional yet lively and dramatic tone. "Beauty is such a fleeting thing, like the cherry blossoms in spring."

Kanon looks up to her smiling, "Aww you're so poetic! And to me your beauty is never fleeting."

A happy tear runs down Kaoru's face and she kisses Kanon's hand. "Th-th-thank you my little kitten."

Oh there's Misaki! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but Misaki is the coolest member of Hello Happy World and not just because she's a pretty talented cranking DJ. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I see myself in her?

She says to Kaoru, "Hey Kaoru. Did you come up with anything for the festival?"

Kaoru puts her hand over her chest closing her eyes, "I did, you will marvel at these lyrics. And have I told you you're really cool Misaki?"

Aww how sweet Misaki's blushing a light coral. You can so tell she loves Kaoru's praise. "Aww thank you. Speaking of cool is that Ran Tomoe and…well I mean Ran and Tomoe? And Himari's with them too."

Himari's cheeks puff then she whispers to us, "Hey I'm cool too!"

Kanon asks us what our theme is. We're all friends so I don't mind telling her. "The heat death of the universe as a metaphor to show how we really feel about stuff."

Kaoru says, "Ahh, even the sun, stars, and universe itself are fleeting. What a beautifully tragic theme."

Yes, yes it is.

Misaki smiles, "Your theme's pretty cool. It's a sick shallow world that doesn't care about you so we may as well have fun calling it out making fun of it. Anyway I gotta babysit my weird immature frie… I mean bandmates. Have fun."

After we practice ourselves Yukina and Sayo walk up to us.

Yukina stands in front of me looking so serious crossing her arms. "Your singing was a bit offkey and your skills and coordination need refinement." Wow how can she sound so cold and serious roasting us like that?

Sayo looks at us like she's a teacher whose approval we didn't earn. "Moca, you lack focus and it shows in your performance." Her tone calls Moca an idiot.

I tell them, "Oh yeah at least our theme is honest while you guys obviously just love toxic competition."

Yukina rolls her eyes and tells us, "Hmph, like we care."

Ako tells Tomoe, "Woah sis your drumming so…freaking…cool!" Aww she's hugging Tomoe so tightly.

"Thanks sis, you were pretty great too."

Yukina looks at Ako. "Don't listen to her, your drum fills need to be tighter."

Ako's shoulders slump, "Aww I was having fun! I knew I wasn't as good as you sis."

Yukina looks at Sayo. "Sayo, let's go. Maybe one day they'll learn." Sayo looks meanly back to us, she meanly sighs shaking her head a little. Whatever.

CiRCLE is pretty full today. I grab my guitar, as only stainless steel strings can tell the world how me and Tomoe really feel.

I double check with my friends, "How does everyone feel about our theme?"

Everyone says they like it but Himari's looking away.

I lightly tug on her hoodie. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know…isn't the theme kinda sad?"

Tomoe tells her, "It's something we feel could bring out how we feel about stuff to the world. Isn't there anything you hate about being a teen? Like teachers who always treat you like a kid and being afraid you won't get into college and be a neet forever? Or teachers who take points off for stupid reasons. Always having to get up early, parents who never give you enough space and criticize everything you do and like, And don't even get me started on jealous haters."

Himari sounds nervous, "Umm…"

Tomoe reassures her, "Hon, we're your friends. I promise we won't tease you."

Moca joins in, "He he he…Moca can't promise that."

Me and Tomoe turn our heads to glare at her then Tomoe yells. "Moca!"

Moca then says, "Aww but it's so much fun. Himari always makes Moca laugh."

Himari quickly puts her school tablet in her bag and stands up sounding determined. "You know what? Yes I like the theme! You have such great ideas Ran."

Moca stares at her soda then takes a sip. "Can we add lyrics about buns and Saya's bakery?"

I yell, "No!" The rest of Afterglow does too.

Moca looks down and away, touching both of her fingers together, "Aww but Moca wants to. Please?"

I tell her, "I promise we can write a happy song with that theme, but this is about our take on teen life and how much it sucks."

Lisa tells us, "That song was dope. Don't mind Yukina she's really strict."

Between homework and writing music I guess I can do a bit of art. Ugh a random person started a live video again? I don't have time for that I'm too busy with posting this to my Tumblr.

I swear my life is just the worst. My headache screams from the world's pressure. Well, maybe not the worst, my besties in my band accept me for who I am without expecting me to conform. Who decides what even gets to be normal anyway? Why does society say we have to be so fake? Wouldn't it be great if we could say how we feel without worrying about consequences? I am afraid of being alone in this world, so completely alone, alone and unloved.

Dad wants me to run his flower arrangement school someday but what does he know?

Oh Himari texted me, "Heyyyyyy Ran!"

"I know you're probably posting to your Tumblr now but do you like the lyrics"

"not your doormat"

Hmm, I think I can work with that.

"Yeah"

Well that's it for today. I text Himari good night and fall asleep. No, I can't…sleep…too much to…do.