Me and Tomoe are at the track for gym class and there's Kaoru again.
Tomoe tells me, "It's amazing how Japan isn't cool with PDA yet no one seems to mind how affectionate Kaoru is."
"I just hope Kanon will be okay for gym. It's almost as pointless as releasing clean versions of songs when literally no one listens to them."
"Yeah, censorship's pretty stupid. Like remember the whole YouTube deal with wanting to be more kid friendly?"
I tell Tomoe, "Ugh, tell me about it. Remember when we used to sneak on music and channels on purpose?"
Tomoe smiles, "Ahh, yeah, where they can say the swear versions of crap and frigging."
"It's just us girls here."
"Huh, you're right."
A whistle blows. "Alright girls gymclass has started."
I feel the gentle breeze flowing through my hair as me and Tomoe lead the other girls. I just hope I have enough energy to sing later. Even when I'm in school there are times when I just want to nap. Heck, there are times when I actually do nap. Will people think I'm lazy? Oh gosh everyone thinks I'm lazy! I never judge when I see other girls napping but not everyone's like me so…"
WHAT!? Please tell me that rip isn't...
I look behind me and Tomoe stands there. She whispers, "I'll stand here, though those girls are laughing at you."
I feel my pulse racing and my face and neck getting super hot. An uncomfortable tingling spreads from my solar plexus through my ribs and I hate it so much. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life!
I run to my locker covering the hole in my shorts with one hand.
"Don't worry Ran, I'm sure everyone will forget."
Are you kidding they probably got pics and will post them everywhere! Oh gosh why can't I even speak?
Tomoe pats my shoulder. "I never knew you would wear pink with hearts and Hello Kittys."
I look up into her eyes and she says. "Sorry, that was insensitive of me."
After gym I meet Himari by my locker.
"Hi Ran!"
"Hey Himari."
"Is something wrong?" She tilts her head looking at me like she won't leave until she gets an answer.
I drop my books and oh gosh please don't let Himari see…oh crap she does.
Himari's eyes beam with an oh my gosh I know this about you look.
"Ran! I didn't know you liked this manga! Ooooooohhhh I'm telling everyone you like this!"
"Please don't."
That is so unlike her! Wait, has she been jealous of me this entire time and was just waiting to take my spot as band leader? Oh how can I think that about Himari.
Me and Tomoe meet Misaki on the way to the studio.
Misaki looks into my eyes, trying her hardest to keep her I know smile. "So pink…I mean Ran, anything interesting happen in gym class?"
Those trees across the street are quite pretty. Did it happen because I'm getting fat? I haven't been feeling fat I'll just be extra careful about what I eat. Maybe I should stop Uniqlo for some gym shorts. "No."
"Please Ran, I know all about it. We all do. I never imagined you of all people would wear that pattern. Between you and me I was a bit embarrassed at first to wear Michelle. It's not easy being a DJ in that suit."
"So you don't think I'm any less cool?"
Misaki laughs. Ugh, of course. I'll hand over my cool girl card.
She tells me, "Well you are a bit old to wear that pattern aren't you?"
I sigh, "I'm officially turning in my cool girl card."
"Alas my kitten, for such tragedies are fleeting. And you are both actually cool girls and not the Amy Dunne definition either."
Oh I recognize that voice! "Thanks Kaoru but who's Amy Dunne?"
"Long story, literally it's like 430 pages. But I shall say this my kitten, the important thing is your cool is the real and not fleeting kind, not the toxic kind Dunne talked about."
Ahh we're here. I order vegan chicken tenders with Cajun fries and water.
I ask Tomoe about our theme and she says, "You're always so negative Ran. Like why?"
Oh my gosh you of all people should know better you've been my bestie since literally forever. "It's a fake judgy world we're living in. I think we have fun sharing in roasting it."
"Well would it kill you to be more positive every once in a while?"
"I would but, okay fine. Would you like some of my fries? They're delicious." Resist the urge to tell her this is why I'm getting fat even though I always save half for leftovers.
Moca has that look in her eye, that I'm gonna tease you so much for being silly Himari look. Only this time, she's staring at me.
"Umm, yes Moca?"
"He he he he he…Pinky chan is on time again. Moca wrote a song about hearts. Moca thinks Pinky chan would like, no?"
I feel my face getting warm again.
"Pinky chan's face is glowing coral."
I yell, "Stop calling me Pinky chan!" Even if I could I wouldn't stop myself from yelling that.
Himari sits with me and says, "There's no shame in liking what you like. But you are pretty silly being a grumpy wumpy all the time!"
Everyone else laughs. "Don't forget who's your lead singer!"
Tsugu sips her ice blended then says, "We decided it would be best for everyone if Himari became lead singer!"
I just felt my heart sink all the way to my tummy feeling like a rock. "Wh…what?"
Tomoe says, "Sorry Ran but Himari is just way more upbeat than you, sorry we didn't tell you we were hanging out but maybe you need to cool it with your fussiness."
What happened to you Tomoe? "Oh please you know as well as I do making fun of the world is so fun. I find an outcast just like me in this world, someone I can be myself with and share with and here Himari comes and steals you away. How do you think that makes me feel?"
Tomoe says, "She's your friend too you know. I know the band was our idea but Ran, hon, it's all of ours. I feel like you'll get used to the change soon enough."
Himari won't be my friend anymore if she takes my place as Tomoe's bestie. "Yeah but she's not us. We are Ran and Tomoe. We're the first to tell each other anything."
Tomoe meanly smiles, "Not anymore."
How could she? I can't believe she'd mean that. "Remember when I got you those wrist cuffs and you fell in love with them? It made me so happy seeing you smile. Himari doesn't have what we have."
Oh now Tomoe has that look of defiance in her eyes. We could really use that on stage you know. "Well remember when I died that red streak in your hair and you absolutely adored it? Well I'm gonna dye Himari's hair."
This isn't the end, I won't lose my bestie. "You can't do this to me Tomoe."
Tomoe smiles, "Can't I?"
I yell, "Don't forget it was my idea to make this band. We all agreed we'd be our honest selves with the world, to sing against unfairness and patriarchy and a shallow consumerist world that judges us."
Himari crosses her arms scowling, "Oh yeah you hate men! Harry Styles, Jungkook, JiMin, and Shawn Mendes are men! What kind of monster can possibly hate those guys?"
Hmm, I just had an idea for a song about how stupid it is to hate people who like K Pop just because you like J Pop or like J Pop but hate K Pop. But nooo I'm not our lead singer anymore apparently. "That's not true I hate the patriarchy. And you should too because it says you deserve to be treated worse because of your gender and says some things are okay for guys but not us. Besides going against the patriarchy is one of our themes."
Himari says, "But I wanna make fun music! We're getting ready to practice and we have a JoJo Siwa cover planned."
They all yell, "Hey, hey, oh!"
Not the same as always. Did Himari of all people lead the chant?
"I'll sit this one out. If anyone needs me I'll be with Hello Happy World."
Moca laughs. "He he he, Moca thinks it's funny she's sitting with them but doesn't want to write happy music."
Woah! Whew Hagumi startled me. "I get bullied too. I know what happened and…"
"Can we please talk about something else?"
Misaki texts then asks me, "Taking a break?"
She whispers in my ear, "I wish I could be in your band. Your music was so real and it spoke to me. Now, I'm not so sure. Aya and Kokoro apparently like the new way."
"So you like that manga too!"
Oh it's Kokoro. I still don't even know how that even got there.
"Cheer up, Pinky chan! Don't let one embarrassing thing get you down."
Oh yes, the world knowing I wear Hello Kitty heart print on pink. I mean is it so wrong wanting to feel cute? Maybe I'm afraid of growing up and feel like a kid? Sigh, I want to show the world I'm a mature cool girl but I feel like such a poser.
"Sorry Kokoro, I just can't."
"I'll read that manga with you!"
I tell her, "Alright."
"I knew you were always a weird dork." Misaki says teasingly. Yep, one of the few people who I can actually connect with in this world turns on me.
After awhile Afterglow stops playing.
I walk up to Tomoe, "You know that's not what we're about right?"
Tomoe tells me, "Sorry Ran but me and Himari are gonna make fun of edgy movies on Netflix."
"But Tomoe we love making fun of romantic movies together! Remember when we roasted The Kissing Booth so much?"
"Yeah and now me and Himari are gonna roast Bird Box together."
"Why though we watch those because we like them!"
Back home Tomoe and Himari send me a snap using a puppy filter. They look like they're having so much fun, without me.
I'm in the audience watching my old band why am I even here!
Himari happily and enthusiastically yells into the microphone, "Hey hey oh!" Then she points the mic at the audience and they yell it too.
"Wow she's so much better than their last singer! What was her name again?"
Oof. That actually hurt.
I hear Yukina say to her, "I agree. Himari singing was the change their band needed. Oh my gosh did you hear about how their last singer's shorts ripped in gym! And she was wearing pink Hello Kitty panties with hearts."
"And to think I used to think she was the coolest person ever."
Hot tears fill my eyes and I run away crying. Why do I have to be such an idiot? What did I ever do to deserve this? I wish I could just disappear. I rest my head on my knees crying.
I cry into my pillow, anyone I would tell doesn't like me anymore and thinks I'm a big dumb joke. Why do we have to judge each other on the stupidest things?
Whew, it was all a terrible nightmare! My crying goes down and mom ask. "Are you okay Ran? I heard you crying in there."
"It was just," sniff, "a nightmare."
I hug Tomoe really tight and she hugs me back. "You're not usually a morning person. Do you think I'll just fall in love with your lyrics? I may be your bestie but,"
I tell her, "It's not that I just had the worst nightmare ever! You didn't want to be my friend anymore and wanted us to make happier music?"
Tomoe laughs happily, "Ha…ha ha ha ha ha! With how we feel and what we know about things? Although maybe we can have a few happy songs sprinkled in for variety. I'm pretty sure you'd make Himari's day. We can sing about our friendship and the wonderful times we all share."
"Okay, I'll agree to it."
She continues, "But we can't forget about our little festival project."
Moca laughs, "He he he he, Moca heard Ran crying like a little baby outside her window."
"Moca! What were you doing?"
"Waiting for you with Tsugu."
"That early?" Yeah I mean if I wasn't even awake. Wait, this is Moca we're talking about. Ahh, she's so random.
We all laugh walking each other to our schools.
I ask Tomoe if I'm a cool mature rebel, "Oh Ran everyone knows we are."
Oh Himari's in a good mood. "Hey guys! I was wondering if we could do a KPop cover?"
Tomoe says, "That's not our band's style."
I say, "Yeah, sorry Himari but no."
Himari sighs, "But I already paid for a license on Soundrop for us to cover Eung Eung by Apink! No fair!"
Himari is just too funny, "Oh Himari has anyone ever told you that you're so funny and silly?"
"You guys do, like literally all the time." She sighs.
We all laugh together.
