Author's Note:

Okay, double update this week because writing this chapter broke my heart several times and I think we just need to rip the bandaid!

*hands out cookies and hugs*

Ari


20 June 1996

"Sirius, please—slow down," Remus said desperately, reaching out and seizing his friend's shoulder. "I don't understand what you're trying to say."

But Sirius just shook off Remus's arm and continued pacing back and forth in the basement kitchen, his face ashen and twisted; Remus's stomach plummeted.

"It must be another vision," he explained, his voice strained. "Another dream, like the one in December, but—it's a ploy, Remus! I don't understand—can Voldemort stick visions in his head that aren't true?"

Remus sighed heavily and pushed his hair back with both his hands, staring down at the kitchen table for a long moment. Then, he looked up and caught Sirius's eye. They seemed to arrive at the same awful conclusion together.

"What's Snape doing now?" Remus asked briskly, straightening his shoulders. "Has he sent any other messages?"

"No, I would have seen them," Sirius said through clenched teeth, glaring up at the ceiling. "He said he was going to search the forest for Harry, but—"

"Then, let's wait a few moments before we do anything brash," Remus said firmly, and Sirius, though he looked beside himself with fear and anger, gave a stiff nod.


"I thought we agreed patronuses were for emergencies only. What's Snape playing at?" Moody growled, as he stumped into the basement kitchen. Behind him came Kingsley, who looked alert and tense, and Tonks, whose face was pale.

"This is an emergency!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping to his feet—but Remus threw out a hand to hold him back.

"Snape sent Sirius a message from the school," Remus explained, trying to keep his tone as calm as he could despite the fact that his heart was slamming against his ribcage. "He says Harry seems to believe that Voldemort's kidnapped Sirius and taken him into the Department of Mysteries." Tonks and Kingsley exchanged a look of astonishment. "He's searching the grounds for Harry now—apparently, he and Hermione were last seen going into the Forbidden Forest with Umbridge."

There was a short pause, as Moody, Tonks, and Kingsley digested this information. Then, Moody strode forward, his expression determined and set—and Remus caught a sudden glimpse of the highly decorated Head Auror he'd once been.

"We need to contact Dumbledore," Moody said resolutely.

"Snape's already done," Remus assured him. "We're waiting for another update."

"Then, we'll wait together," Moody said firmly.

"Wait?" Sirius demanded, his voice trembling with rage. "We've already been waiting nearly two hours! Harry could be in London already!"

"We don't know that," Kingsley told him evenly. "Besides, how would he even leave the Hogwarts grounds—?"

"There are a dozen different ways!" Sirius exploded. "I would know, I did it hundreds of times!"

"Sirius," Remus warned—but Sirius was too far undone.

"We're wasting precious time!" Sirius bit out furiously, pushing past Remus with his wand out. "Harry needs us—now!"

"If we ambush the Department of Mysteries and Harry isn't there, we are putting our entire organization at risk," Kingsley continued in a steady, ringing voice, though there was a steely note to his tone now. "We need to wait for Snape's word."

"It could take him hours longer to search the entire castle, and you know it," Sirius spat, barely inches away from Kingsley. "By that point, who knows—?"

"Sirius, stand down."

Remus looked around, stunned. Moody was glaring at Sirius, his lined, carved face twisting harshly with anger and impatience. There was a split-second of silence, as Sirius and Moody both glowered at each other, stony-faced and still. Then, looking as though he'd been force-fed a bottle of Skele-Gro, Sirius slowly lowered himself into one of the kitchen chairs, his eyes never leaving Moody's. Remus saw Tonks's lips twitch.

"Now," Moody growled, sparing Sirius one last look of irritation. "What do we think Voldemort wants from the lad? The prophecy?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense," Remus said, shaking his head. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, and he stood up straight. "Isn't there someone guarding the department right now?"

"Dedalus," Tonks put in, before Moody could respond. "He relieved me at four."

"Then, one of us should go to him first," Kingsley said decisively. "We'll find out if he noticed any disturbances, and then—"

A sudden flash of light cut Kingsley off, and all five occupants of the basement kitchen whipped around to watch as something large and silver came falling through the ceiling, settling over the dining table as a shimmering, shapeless orb. Sirius practically leaped up from his chair, leaning so close to the incorporeal patronus that every line, every valley of his face was illuminated, making his already emaciated face look positively skeletal.

The patronus quivered as Snape's voice filled the room. The characteristic drawl was gone from the potions master's voice, and it was with an unpleasant jolt that Remus realized that he was actually worried.

"Potter and Granger still missing. Umbridge nowhere to be found. Weasleys, Longbottom, and Lovegood gone, too. All six students likely en route to Ministry."

Remus felt something in his chest tighten. In front of him, Sirius's entire body had gone rigid.

"Dumbledore on his way to headquarters," Snape's tense voice echoed from the silvery orb. "Black, make yourself useful for once and stay there to debrief him."

Sirius reeled backwards, his expression mutinous as Snape's patronus dissolved. Without a word to the others, Sirius turned and marched out of the kitchen; his footsteps echoed heavily up the basement staircase.

Moody looked at Tonks and Kingsley. "I reckon the fastest way is the Ministry's employee entrance, by Floo," he said in a low voice. "Shackebolt and I will go first—Tonks, you follow. Remember to hold tight to Lupin's arm, so he's able to get through."

Remus determinedly avoided Tonks's gaze as they both nodded.

The fireplace blazed green, as Kingsley and Moody both stepped into the flames, one after the other, and spun away.

Swallowing, Remus turned to Tonks. She gazed back at him, her eyes burning fiercely—and Remus was suddenly—painfully—struck by just how much he would give for her to stay behind with Sirius, to keep herself out of harm's way. But he knew she would never agree—and as though she had read his thoughts, Tonks's mouth tightened with determination.

"Ready?" She reached out her arm.

Remus took it, nodding once. "Ready."

"Not without me, you aren't," came a firm voice from behind them, and Remus spun around to see Sirius stalking down the basement staircase toward them, clutching his wand. "I'm coming with you."

Remus released Tonks, his mouth falling open. "Sirius—no! You've got to wait for Dumbledore, he needs to know—"

"Kreacher will do it—I've just told him," Sirius snapped, eyes flashing.

"Sirius!" Tonks stepped forward, her expression furious. "If someone sees you—"

"Then, I'll kill them!" Sirius growled, and Remus's heart stopped. "That is my godson, Remus—and he's there because he thinks he's saving me! If you don't take me with you, then I'll just go myself—I swear on it!"

Remus gazed at Sirius, his stomach twisting into a painful knot. Then, jaw clenched, Remus stalked forward and pulled Sirius into a rough hug. There was a beat of stunned silence, during which Sirius stood stock-still; then, suddenly, he reached up and embraced Remus just as tightly.

They pulled apart after several moments, and gave each other stiff nods, a look of powerful understanding passing between them.

Simultaneously, they turned around and each grasped one of Tonks's arms.


"Department of Mysteries," announced a cool, female voice as the lift clanged to an unsteady halt, and the five off of them took off running down the corridor, toward the plain black door that marked the entrance to the department.

It was already open.

Tonks and Sirius swore as they came to a screeching halt, and Remus gripped his wand tighter than ever. Kingsley, meanwhile, crouched down and began feeling around for something on the floor. Remus didn't realize what he was doing until Kingsley was already peeling back Moody's invisibility cloak, revealing Dedalus Diggle's pale, unmoving body.

Sirius swore again.

"He's alive," Moody growled, releasing Dedalus's wrist. He pointed his wand at Dedalus's forehead. "Rennervate."

Dedalus didn't so much as twitch.

Kingsley drew his wand. "Rennervate," he tried—but once again, nothing happened. Kingsley got to his feet, his expression hard. "Dark Magic," he declared, and Remus's entire body seemed to tense up, humming with anger.

Moody dragged his invisibility cloak back over Dedalus's body and faced the others, his expression set.

"Who's been through here before?" he demanded.

"Once or twice," Kingsley offered. "Can't say I remember it too well, though."

"Well, the first thing that's going to happen, the moment we shut the door behind us, is the chamber will try and confuse us," Moody explained in a gruff voice. "Our best bet is trying to find the Hall of Prophecies. Disable any Death Eaters you run into, but remember: Our priority is Potter and the other kids—six, total, Snape said." He glanced around at each of them, then reached for the door behind him. "Constant vigilance."

They squeezed into the room one after another, and Remus, who entered last, shut the door behind him. Immediately, the circular room creaked to life and began to spin dizzyingly around them, the blue-flamed candles guttering. Remus heard Tonks gasp softly, stepping backward into Remus. He grabbed her waist to steady her.

"What's happening?" Sirius asked loudly over the roar of movement. "Which way do we go?"

As if on cue, the walls ground suddenly to a stop, and Remus released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Moody stepped forward, scrutinizing the different doors that spanned the room. He pointed at one of the doors, which had a smoldering X etched into it.

"They've been here," he grunted, then stepped past the marked door to the one next to it, eyeing it closely. "Let's try this one."

"Wands out, everyone," Tonks whispered, as they followed Moody through the narrow corridor beyond the door. She suddenly perked her head up, alert. "Does anyone else hear that? It sounds like glass breaking."

Remus strained to hear, and his heart gave a jolt as the sound reached him. "It's from over there," he declared hoarsely, pointing to a room off the corridor ahead of them. They hurried forward, just in time to see a glass cabinet crash to the floor, destroying and shattering everything within it. A second later, it had repaired itself—then, it shattered again.

"Aye, this means they've been here, as well," Moody said tensely, holding his wand out as he considered the dark corridor ahead of them. "Time-Turners, hm? I wonder if—"

He broke off abruptly, and Remus felt a chill seize his entire body. Tonks, Kingsley, and Sirius stiffened too. Muffled shouting could be heard from somewhere beyond the corridor. Tonks turned and caught Remus's eye, just as Sirius swiveled about and screamed, "HARRY!"

Before anyone could appropriately react, Sirius pushed past Kingsley and Moody and pelted down the darkened hallway, disappearing through a doorway at the end. Without thinking, Remus propelled himself up the corridor after him, and he heard Tonks, Moody, and Kingsley bring up the rear.

"Sirius!" Remus cried in a strangled voice, as he came to a skittering halt at the end of the narrow corridor; there were two different doors, one on each side, with no indication as to which one Sirius had taken. Remus turned around to face the others, aghast.

"We split up," Moody answered Remus's unasked question. "Lupin and I, through here. Tonks and Shacklebolt, the other door. Stay alert for sounds."

Kingsley and Tonks nodded swiftly, ducking through the doorway on the right. Remus and Moody sprinted through the door on the left, arriving at the end of what appeared to be another long, darkened hallway. And through a door swinging in the distance, Remus caught a glimpse of what looked like an enormous stone theater, with rows and rows of stone benches.

"Death Chamber," came Moody's ominous growl, from somewhere near Remus's shoulder.

As Remus rushed forward, he heard a peal of insane laughter reverberate up from the chamber beyond.


A jet of green light missed Sirius and Harry by inches, as they both threw themselves flat on the floor to avoid it. Remus's heart came to a screeching halt in his chest, and he began tearing down the chamber toward them, wand raised—but at that very moment, there was a flash of violet and a piercing scream from behind him, and he whirled around just in time to see Bellatrix blast Tonks backward from halfway up to the stone dais.

Remus watched, frozen in horror, as Tonks toppled downward from stone bench to stone bench, until her body collapsed, unmoving, at the bottom of the steps.

"TONKS!" Remus roared, switching directions and heading toward Tonks instead of Sirius and Harry—but an arm seized the back of his robes, and Remus whirled around, face contorted in rage.

"Go to Harry!" Sirius told him, as he shoved past Remus, toward Bellatrix. "Get him out of here, Remus, please!"

Remus swallowed back the blinding urge to join Sirius as he charged at a leering, cackling Bellatrix. Then, turning on his heel, Remus bolted back toward Harry, who was clinging with all his might to a violently jerking Neville.

Nott tried to intercept Remus on his way toward the struggling pair, but Remus easily blasted him out of his way with a slash of his wand. Get to Harry, Remus told himself, clinging to the words in his head for all they were worth. Get to Harry. Even as Remus watched, Lucius Malfoy rounded on Neville and Harry, teeth bared—but Harry blasted him backwards with a well-aimed Impediment Jinx.

"Harry, round up the others and go!" Remus bellowed, jumping between Harry and Malfoy.

Remus watched just long enough to ensure that Harry had resumed his frantic attempts to drag Neville up the stone floor toward the exit, before he swiveled back around to face Malfoy. The older man was smirking lazily—and Remus was instantly reminded, with a surge of dislike, of the smug, haughty-faced prefect from his Hogwarts days.

Malfoy raised his wand, starting to say something in a drawling tone, but in an instant, Remus had sent him stumbling backward for the second time in minutes.

Malfoy's sneer vanished, and he gritted his teeth, sending several rapid Stunning Spells at Remus, one after the other. Remus blocked them easily, hurling a Stinging Hex at Malfoy's face—and Malfoy leaped out of the way to avoid it.

And then, suddenly, a look of horror washed over Malfoy's face, and Remus didn't need to turn around to know why.

Sure enough, Dumbledore was there, descending the stone steps in a whirl of indigo robes, fury blazing from every line of his face. With a pitiful yelp, Malfoy tried to duck and make a run for the steps—but Dumbledore's progress was uncompromising. Remus just watched, mouth open, as Malfoy and the other Death Eaters who had tried to escape were dragged toward the headmaster, one by one.

As Remus's heartbeat began steadying, he turned and swiftly took stock of the room. Harry was still slumped on the steps with Neville; Tonks was lying at the foot of the dais, and Remus willed her to still be breathing; Moody was crawling across the chamber floor toward where Kingsley was bent over Tonks, trying to revive her; and Sirius, somehow, was still locked in a vicious duel with Bellatrix at the top of the dais, so intent on the battle that he appeared to have missed Dumbledore's appearance altogether.

Sirius dodged another spell she threw at him, weaving through the jets of light with ease. "Come on!" he called, laughing loudly, exhilarated. "You can do better than that!"

Bellatrix's face twisted into a snarl, as she lunged forward again. The new jet of orange light caught Sirius precisely in the chest, and his eyes went wide.

He fell. And he fell, and he fell—and it seemed to last an eternity, his body curving backwards into the wispy veil that hung in tatters from the arch on the dais. And even before his body had completely disappeared, Remus knew what it was, though he yearned not to—for Moody had called this the Death Chamber—and at last, with a ripple of color and sound, Sirius's face, filled with mostly surprise and a little fear, vanished from the room.

The veil shivered, and for one horrible, long moment, there was nothing but silence.

Then, Bellatrix let out a jubilant shriek, and Harry flew out from behind Remus, pitching toward the dais, his arms outstretched.

"SIRIUS!" Harry screamed. "SIRIUS!"

The teenager hurled himself onto the steps—and Remus's body, spurred suddenly into action by instinct, and shock, and horror, reacted just in time to seize Harry roughly around the chest, pinning him tightly. Remus's muscles were working furiously, holding Harry's writhing body to his own, even as his own heart was breaking, exactly as it had broken on a horrible November morning, fifteen years ago…

Remus's mouth opened and uttered words, but he was barely conscious of what it was saying. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…"

"GET HIM!" Harry howled, his voice broken with panic. "Save him—he's only just gone through!"

"It's too late, Harry," Remus murmured, vaguely wondering how his heart could be breaking all over again. Had there really been this much left to break?

"WE CAN STILL REACH HIM!"

Harry kicked and pushed harder than ever, vicious and desperate, and Remus acknowledged the physical pain without actually feeling. "There's nothing you can do, Harry…nothing…he's gone."


Shapes and colors swirled around Remus at St. Mungo's, but he was scarcely aware of what was happening. After ensuring that Moody, Dedalus, and Tonks were each sent off to different rooms to be treated for their injuries, Remus slumped down in a chair in the waiting room, staring unseeingly at the stretch of white wall in front of him and wondering how it could be possible that, less than twenty-four hours earlier, he and Sirius had been feeding a hippogriff and arguing about the rules of Exploding Snap.

At some point, a Healer approached him and kindly asked him to follow her into an examination room so she could check him for injuries, as well. Remus got up and followed her without conscious thought. It was only after the Healer had gotten through half the diagnostic tests did it register in Remus that he and Harry were the only ones who had escaped the battle unscathed. Well, no, that wasn't right, Remus thought vaguely. There was a dull, hollow pain in his chest. He mentioned this to the Healer, but she just gazed at him with a sad expression.

An hour later, Remus found himself in Tonks's room. He supposed a Healer must have taken him there, but he had no recollection of it.

Tonks's heart-shaped face looked paler and smaller than Remus had ever seen it. Remus watched numbly as the healers and nurses flitted about her bed, adjusting her potions and performing complex-looking spellwork over her abdomen. He heard the nurses muttering to one another, about internal bleeding, and broken ribs, and Dark Magic, but it felt rather like listening to voices from a great distance.

Finally, several hours later—or was it days? Remus had lost track—Tonks's room emptied out, and the nurses turned out the lights.

Swallowing, Remus reached out and took Tonks's cold hand in his.


"Remus…"

Remus stirred slightly in his armchair at the familiar voice.

"Remus…wake…up…"

Remus jerked awake, inhaling sharply, and looked around in alarm. Already, visions of Death Eaters and flashes of light were filling his mind—but then, he realized that there was no one else in the room except for Tonks, whose hand he was still holding. Her face was screwed up in pain.

He jumped to his feet. "I'll call a Healer," he told her hoarsely.

"No," Tonks burst out, then let out a gasp of pain, her eyes watering. She looked at Remus, jaw tight. "Tell…me…"

"You're fine," Remus promised quietly, squeezing her hand. "But you shouldn't be awake, your injuries need time—"

"No—Remus…tell me…" Tonks repeated, squeezing his hand back; her grip was feeble, wispy, and a sick feeling filled Remus's stomach. "Is…everyone…"

She trailed off, seemingly finding her answer somewhere in the lines of Remus's face. Her face went whiter, and she tried to pull herself up in bed, but she went rigid with pain and fell back against her pillows, jaw clenched. "Who…"

Remus couldn't bring himself to answer. The dull ache in his chest sharpened and seemed to move up to his throat, preventing him from speaking; he pressed his lips together and stared at a spot on the wall behind Tonks's bed.

Tonks squeezed his hand again, stronger this time, and Remus dragged his eyes back over to hers. Her eyes had filled with fresh tears of pain. "Not…one…of…the kids…" she whispered. "Not…H-Harry…"

Remus shook his head, clenching his jaw tighter.

"Please…" she begged, her voice cracking under the effort to speak. "Remus…please…tell…me…"

Remus closed his eyes, pulling his hand out of hers. And finally, with every last ounce of strength he possessed, he swallowed down the harrowing pain in his throat.

"Sirius," he said.

Tonks's expression filled with horror. She shook her head, then flinched in pain, and several tears fell down her cheeks.

"He fell," Remus continued numbly, "through the veil. Bellatrix…" his voice tapered off, and he swallowed hard again. "Harry almost…I had to hold him back, or he might have—" he broke off, shuddering.

"Oh…Remus…" Tonks's face was frozen in pain, her gray eyes rimmed with red. "I'm…so…sorry…"

Remus stared at her, and something about the look on her face, anguished and spent, drew the next words from his lips, which felt raw and wrong, even to his own ears. "I should have gone after him," he whispered. "I should have followed him. I might have tried—if not for Harry."

Tonks's pale face contorted with distress. "Don't…please…"

"He's gone," Remus said, more to himself than to Tonks. "He's dead."

Silence filled the hospital room for several, painful moments. Remus returned his gaze to the wall behind Tonks's bed, staring unseeingly.

Then— "Remus…" Tonks whispered. "Come here…"

Remus stood his ground, still not looking at her. "Tonks…"

"Just…look…at me," Tonks begged, her voice frail. "Remus…please…"

"Tonks, I can't—"

Just then, a nurse peered into the room and made a strangled noise of disapproval at seeing Tonks awake. Remus stepped away from the bed as the nurse scuttled past him and quickly seized a vial of Dreamless Sleep Potion from the tray by Tonks's bed. Tonks barely had time to react before the vial was being poured into her mouth—Remus saw her eyes begin to droop immediately, her shoulders grow lax…

She tried to resist the effects, painstakingly reaching up a hand toward him. And suddenly, in spite of himself, in spite of everything, Remus found himself drawn back toward the bed, gazing down at her.

"You need to rest, Tonks," he said quietly.

"You…too…" she mumbled, fighting hard against the potion, her hand trembling as she reached toward him again. "Rest…with…me…"

Against every instinct in his brain, Remus took her hand, swallowing heavily. "Tonks, please…"

"No…Remus…" she whispered, finally succumbing to the potion's effects; her eyes fluttered closed. "Call…me…Dora…"