A few things: I know it seems like his thoughts are really repetitive but it's suppose to be like that. My OC is coming in next chapter hopefully and if she seems mary sue ish, she's not. Ravi's gonna put her on a pedestal and you'll see that eventually.
His hand dragged across his forehead, grinding into his skin with the roughest of touch. He felt itchy; like he needed, wanted to rip his own skin off but he kept still with his nails digging into his palms. Ten more minutes. He looked and looked again. The time was teasing him; trickling by in a manner that could've been considered mocking by the way it refused to progressed.
Could you be any more dramatic?
He raised his head a smidge, to feign interest in whatever his teacher had moved onto after her introduction lecture. The old him would have been astonished that he'd dared to zone out just after arriving to class and doing the habitual here in response to his name being called for attendance. His wrist was still burning, forcing a great deal of his attention to withdraw from reality and to attempt at soothing the appendage. Every so often, he'd have an explicitly vicious thought that drifted back to Luke. He was quite upset over the whole ordeal, even more so when he'd given up on the tiniest bit of hope that his brother would rush after him, exclaiming his worry and asking repeatedly if he was okay.
That was a fantasy. A dream that was constantly dashed.
Luke didn't come after him, he most likely was unhappy at the push ups Coach Miller made him do. What would he care if Ravi damaged his wrist?
Or worse
He was always facing disappointment.
Who's fault is that?
Ravi licked his dry, cracked lips. He was parched and in need of something cold; freezing with pieces of ice attached to it was preferred.
He hadn't finished his lunch. Not after...not after that. He waited until the lunch monitors were distracted with the group of freshmen who poured their chocolate milk on their nachos and dumped his mostly uneaten food in the trash can with the exception of his his throat feeling bone dry he sipped it until it was empty; at the same time pretending to find interest in his chemistry textbook so he didn't look like a complete loner.
But you are
Poor little Ravi is sitting all alone
Again
How pathetic is that? You don't have anyone
Nerd
FREAK!
Seven minutes. He was tense; wound up tighter than should have been humanly possible. Just stepping into the classroom was a feat in itself. It was as if there were invisible knives and swords pointed toward him from all directions, ready to be thrown if he made one mistake, one wrong movement. The walls could have caved in at any moment. He needed to get out of there.
Per usual, those around him ignored his presence entirely. But now was not to fixate on that tiny detail. He felt trapped; like a caged animal being poked and prodded. If something, anything, even relatively minor was to occur, Ravi couldn't be certain he could contain himself. A spark was all that was essential for him to blow.
Or overheat, which might actually happen
The building was almost chilly from the freezing cold air the air conditioner produced. It suited Ravi just fine, especially after his lapse in judgement that morning in deciding to wear jeans. But, just as luck would have it, there was that one teacher who was cold and instead of just wearing a sweater or something she opened the freaking window. In turn, he was sweltering.
"Robby, are you alright?" his teacher asked in what he supposed was concern. Every head turned to face him but he did not blush.
"Ravi," he corrected calmly. "And I am fine, thank you."
"Are you sure? Your face is very red," his teacher insisted, frowning. "Do you need to see the nurse?"
Oh yes, so everyone can gossip about me later? No thank you
"I'm fine," he repeated with finality in his voice.
She didn't respond beyond that; it only furthered his opinion of the teachers that belonged to the school and their incompetence. She didn't inquire any more to find out why his face was red nor did she do the sensible thing and offer to shut the window.
God, I hate this place
I'd hate this place too if I was a spoiled brat
Five minutes. I am not a spoiled brat
Really? You think so?
I am not! Do you not agree that she should have done more?
I think she is adequate. You're just a brat that expects people to bow down to your wishes
Ravi could have screamed. That is hardly true!
But it is. Stop acting like your feelings come first. Newsflash: they don't
Three minutes. There was that itchy feeling again, intensified. God, it wouldn't have taken much to have sent him running out of that room. He would have done it without prompt. He just wanted out of there.
For the last couple minutes remaining, there was a silent cue to pack up; their teacher didn't protest. Ravi shoved the papers they'd received into a flimsy folder, burying it into the bottom of his backpack. The old him would have a heart attack at how he treated his school things nowadays.
At last, relief settled within him. The dismissal bell gvfrang, signaling the end of the school day. Ravi was oblivious; eyes glassy as he stared ahead unfocused. It was only when he was sharply elbowed due to someone's carelessness, that he took notice of what was happening. Students poured out from classrooms, shuffling into the hallway all at once. There was hardly any room to maneuver through so he stayed put, dawdling by the door with his back facing his teacher so he wouldn't have to endure the awkward task of exchanging pleasantries and forced smiles.
Luke should have made it outside, unless he managed to conveniently forget they were supposed to wait for Zuri so all three of them could walk home together and instead decided his jock buddies were far more worthy of his time.
God, did he sound bitter.
Can you blame me?
You blame Luke
I have reasons!
Do you? Or are you perpetuating the situation? You certainly haven't done much other than complain
What am I to do? No one will listen to me!
Boo hoo. Poor little Ravi is invisible
He made it to the outer area of the classroom, whisked away into the crowd heading to the right where they were led to the exit. He just needed to go home and take a nap. The day was exhausting, he was exhausted. Between the early rise and the facade that had the potential of crumbling on multiple instances, Ravi wanted nothing more than to curl up with his pet and sleep his problems away.
Because that solves everything
Do you have any other suggestions? You are of no help either
I'm more helpful than you will ever be!
The large cluster of people dispersed when they reached the outside, going off in different directions; some in a group and others alone. Ravi wandered off to the side, out of everyone's way as he looked out for Zuri to appear. He'd somewhat expected her to have already been there waiting for him and Luke. If he recalled correctly, the middle school building let out a few minutes earlier than the high school did. She is probably preoccupied.
Neither of them, Luke or Zuri, should be too long; Jessie was expecting them back in a timely manner. She'd kill them, not literally of course, if they were late.
Ravi kept his gaze away from his classmates; it was a sure-fire way not to make eye contact and that was the last thing he needed after a day like today.
Do something! You look stupid just standing there
I have nothing else to do. I didn't bring a book with me to read
I don't know, look at your phone
I don't have anything to look at
You don't have to, just pretend!
Amid it all, he spotted Zuri talking animatedly to another girl as they inspected each others nails. She was one he had not seen or heard of but assumed to be the latest 'try out' so to speak. His sister didn't have a solid group of friends (who was he kidding, neither did he) so it wasn't unusual to see her frequently chatting with someone new.
He offered her a smile, minimal effort so as he didn't come across as 'angry' or whatever other labels this one might try to say. Zuri's last friend had refused to come over after the first visit because Ravi's presence scared her.
I could have really scared her if I wanted to
"Hi," the new girl said politely as she smoothed down one of her long braids with her free hand. "I'm Carla."
He was supposed to respond, to be friendly and not scary like that one girl said he was. He needed to be polite back. "Hi..?" it came out all wrong, he sounded confused. Why must you embarrass yourself! Did you not do that enough already? What is wrong with you?!
The casual ambience withdrew, leaving only awkwardness in its place. Carla's forehead wrinkled; she gave a sideways glance to Zuri in hopes she would be the one to speak. From beside her, Zuri shot him a glare as if to say don't scare her off too!
"So, Carla," she tried to sound upbeat, "are you doing anything later?"
"No," the latina shook her head after a moment of silence, "Mami and Papi are taking Tito out and I'll have the house to myself. We can facetime until they get back."
"Or you can ask your parents if you can come over for dinner. I'm sure Jessie won't mind."
"You call your mami by her first name?" Carla was slightly in awe. "Doesn't she get mad?"
Before Ravi could open his mouth to correct her (It's not even your conversation and you want to butt it), Zuri jumped in to set things straight. "Jessie's our nanny. Our mom and dad are always away on business."
"...Oh," Carla was visibly embarrassed by her mistake. Ravi felt sorry for her. "I see."
Zuri was passed the minor misunderstanding by now and had moved on to something else. "Maybe she'll let you stay the night!" her tone was enthusiastic and for a brief nano second, Ravi allowed a tiny smile to grace his lips.
"I don't know," Carla's frown faltered Zuri's brightened mood, "My parents don't like me hanging out with anyone they don't know. They're kinda strict."
"We can always have Jessie met them ahead of time," Zuri reasoned, "what time are they leaving?"
"Not until four."
"If we go right now we'll have plenty of time!" Zuri sprung up and was ready to take off. The only thing holding her back was Ravi. "can we go now? Luke can catch up."
As much as I would like that...
"No," he kept his voice low but firm. Jessie would be in a frenzy if they did that; she never did allow them to wander around New York alone. "We can wait. I am sure Luke will be out soon." Zuri didn't appreciate this but once Carla engaged her in another conversation, her annoyance was dropped.
Ravi was becoming restless. He wanted to strangle his brother for making them wait so long. Fifteen minutes. It was out of character for him to be so impatient; but the day's events wore on him. He had no more patience stored up in him. He crossed and uncrossed his arms, unimpressed with Luke's inability to tell time. It was one thing to wait around for five minutes or so while he had something important to do, but Ravi knew Luke. He knew that whatever was keeping him was hardly important.
So what on earth was keeping him?
I swear, he has no regard for anyone but himself
Around five minutes after they began to wait, Carla apologetically said she had to go home before her parents began to worry. Since neither of them knew when Luke would come out, there was nothing they could say to influence her to stay. They would have to do a rain check unless they managed to squeeze in a meeting between Jessie and Carla's parents.
Now Ravi was left to deal with a cranky Zuri and the impending implications of Jessie's fury for being late.
"I have to go to the bathroom," Zuri suddenly spoke up uneasily.
Oh no
"Can you hold it?" he prayed she could.
"No," she reminded him of her younger days when they dealt with situations like this. Back when he was happiner... "Look, I'll just go back in real quick. I'm sure it's still open-"
"No!" he grabbed her wrist, "Jessie said we must stay together."
"Jessie isn't here," his sister yanked her arm back. "I said I'll be right back."
"And I will tell Jessie you refused to listen to the rules," he swallowed as her eyes hardened, semi caught off guard by his persistence of the subject.
"Fine!' she snapped. "But Luke better hurry up." She popped her headphones in, typing away in the search bar.
Jessie was going to yell at them. Or worry. Or worry and send a search party after them and then yell. She could be a little, how should he put it, smothering sometimes. But she only did it because she loved them.
Too bad she can't love you enough to care
Every few seconds, he'd look back at the doors. And every time he would be disappointed.
"Can you text him?" she whined just a minute later. "Ask him when he's coming?"
"I do not have his number," he was forced to admit. Luke would laugh himself silly before he gave him his number. "He will come soon, I'm sure of it." There he was, trying to be Mr. Optimistic. Too bad it never worked. Too bad he never felt optimistic.
And really, he wasn't sure but he knew better than to tell her that.
She grumbled, going back to another video. Must you be so addicted? You're lacking social interaction.
You're one to talk, you only have a lizard for a friend
I-I could have more if I wanted to
Could you, though? No one wants you. They all like Luke better
The doors swung open and out came Luke, jogging until he was at the top of the banister; he slid down to the bottom, landing perfectly on his feet. "What's up?" he greeted casually.
'What's up?" Ravi repeated rhetorically as he drew closer to his brother. "What's up? I will tell you what is it up. Zuri and I have been waiting for you for fifteen minutes while you goof off!"
"And I have to pee," Zuri added.
"Dude, calm down. I wasn't goofing off."
"Then what were you doing? What could have possibly needed your undivided attention for so long?" he was aware there was a slight whine to his voice but he couldn't help it. He was peeved that yet again Luke's selfishness had shown through.
Luke shrugged his shoulders as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "The guys wanted to show me something, that's all."
"Which was?" Ravi asked, glaring.
Another shrug. There was a growing grin on his lips that was just so mocking. So amused. For no reason. What did he have to be so happy about? Ravi took deep breaths to control his temper. "Heh. You wouldn't understand, man."
I assure you I am quite capable of understanding 'man'
"Can we go now?" Zuri broke in before a fight started, "I'm going to pee myself if we don't."
Why are you even trying? He won't listen
He hates you. He wishes you weren't around
"Still you should have declined," Ravi grabbed his backpack off of the ground, distressed. "Jessie is going to be upset at us for being late."
"Relax, dude," Luke was infuriatingly calm about the whole thing. "Jessie won't care. She probably won't even notice we're late."
"Where were you?" Jessie's voice had reached an all time high; combined with worry ire that was sure to be deadly. On their way back Zuri's urgency for the bathroom increased to the point where she insisted she couldn't make it home without stopping. The only problem was there really wasn't anywhere to stop at. She nearly wet herself but luckily there was a tiny grocery shop nearby and the owner was kind enough as to allow her to use the bathroom (despite it not being open to the public). She took an exceptionally long to relieve herself and in that meantime, Ravi had difficulty in easing the tension between him and Luke. His brother was oblivious, ridiculously entertained by two pears stuck together.
Ravi struggled to maintain a halfway normal demeanor and not appear as if he was itching to sprint back to the penthouse and lock himself up in his room all to avoid his brother.
Why do you have to be so strange? Maybe if you were normal people would like you
By the time Zuri was finished and after Ravi had to prompt her to thank the shop owner, they were hurrying back to the complex where Jessie was standing outside with a look that could've killed. She went off on them as soon as they reached the inside of the elevator.
"I waited for nearly half an hour and you kids had me worried sick! What took you so long?"
The three of them stood rigid as she went off on them for their irresponsibility. Emma had come downstairs to find out what all the racket was about, then subsequently went back to doing whatever she had been, uninterested in their latest slip-up.
"It wasn't our fault," Luke was quick to spare his own self, Ravi noted with an eye roll. "Zuri took forever in the bathroom."
Jessie sharply turned to her attention onto Zuri with an I'm waiting and you'd better have a good reason expression.
"Well Luke was the one that made us late in the first place!' she threw a nasty look at her brother. "Ravi and I had to wait outside forever."
At least she knows you were with her
"Luke, is this true?" Jessie crossed her arms.
His brother kicked an imaginary rock, face contorting with guilt. "Well, kinda...Yeah..." Jessie threw her hands in the air. "The guys wanted to show me something! I couldn't say no."
"Oh really?" Jessie snapped. "Luke, you're eighteen years old. I should be able to rely on you now. Do I need to have Ravi be in charge for you two? At least he does what he's told."
Way to throw me under the bus, Jessie
Wah, wah, wah. You want her to notice you and you still whine. Get a grip
"No!" Luke seethed at the thought of Ravi being in charge over him. "And don't compare me to him!"
Him.
That was how he was being referred to. Not 'Ravi', not 'my brother', not 'dude' or 'bro'. Him.
"You know what, Luke, you need to be a little more respectful. You're grounded for a week," Jessie declared and held out her hand expectantly. "I want your phone and anything else you have that's electronic. If you need to use the computer for school you'll do it where i can see you."
"This is so unfair," Luke hissed, slamming down his cell phone into her hand. "Why isn't Ravi or Zuri in trouble? They could've texted you and said we were on our way."
"Yes, they could've," Jessie agreed and made it a point to look at each of them, "but as the oldest of you three, I expect you, Luke, to do that and not create circumstances like this in the first place."
Luke turned away, rolling his eyes.
"I understand your friends are important to you but you have responsibilities to this family that you have to uphold. Now what's done is done; you're grounded and that's that." His brother let out a groan.
"Dude I was supposed to meet up with Mitch at the park."
"Guess you'll have to miss it," Jessie was unsympathetic. "Alright," she calmed down, "now disperse. I have to learn how to fix a kitchen sink and hopefully not make another flood..." Zuri followed Jessie into the kitchen while Ravi and Luke remained where they stood.
"This is all your fault," Luke said harshly as he shoved past Ravi to access the stairs. Ravi almost lost his footing. "Mitch was right, you're such a loser. I don't know why mom and dad got you."
Ravi heard the distant slam of a door but that was all he heard. Thoughts swarmed around in his mind, centering around Luke and Mitch. His own brother thought he was a loser? His own brother agreed with his nemesis? His own brother.
It was only a matter of time
He'd of been lying if he simply smiled and said it didn't sting. His own brother thought so low of him. Had he just ripped his soul apart, it would've been easier. Less painful. His insides twisted up, that familiar lump was back and making it difficult to breathe. Do not cry. It's your fault. You're a loser.
"I don't want to be," he whispered in the emptiness of the room.
"So, kids, how was your first day?" Jessie was the only one to try and make an effort to get them all speaking at dinner. With a swift look around the table, she motioned them to answer, to do something.
"Well, I had a great day," Emma daintily ate her food to dodge a possible spill on her newly purchased, expensive blouse. "My professor said he's never seen anyone like me." She grinned proudly.
Jessie's face scrunched up into a grimace. "Yeah, Emma, I saw the email. I don't think he was meaning that in a good way." His sister pouted. "Anyone else?" she invited them to share.
"Well I was having a good day," Luke used his fork to push around what was on his plate moodily, only ingesting two bites, if that.
"Well, now you'll be more responsible next time," Jessie glanced at him.
"Doubt it."
"How about you Zuri, Bertram?" It didn't slip past Ravi that she hadn't asked him yet. "How was your day?"
"What it is everyday, depressing," their butler sighed.
"Just like your love life," Zuri said cheekily. Bertram scowled. "Oh, Jessie, I have some papers for you to look at."
"Please tell me it isn't boarding school recommendations. I got enough of those last year."
"Relax, they're just a copy of the syllabus and stuff," Zuri said
Jessie sighed in relief then fixed the youngest Ross child with her parental look. "You weren't on your phone in class, were you?"
"Only at lunch," Zuri reassured her. "And that was after Carla and I made fun of the walking meatloaf."
"We had something like that back in Texas, only it was sloppy joes and it crawled," Jessie shook her head as if to rid herself of the memories. "You did not want to get in the way of the kid who ate it. Trust me."
"Okaaaay," Zuri seemed like she could have done without that bit of information. "Jessie, can Carla come over tomorrow after school? She was supposed to come today but someone," her gaze flickered back to Luke, "took too long."
"Sure sweetie," Jessie smiled. "Is Carla your new friend?"
"Until Ravi scares her away," Luke smirked. Ravi flinched, dropping his fork.
There was a piece of him, a yearning in his heart for the siblings he'd come to. Where they at? It wasn't often, rare would be the correct placehold, that they conversed at all. None of them ever made an effortful try except when pushed by Jessie or their parents. Then it lacked sincerity.
You expect too much
Did he? Was a meaningful relationship with his siblings too much to ask for? Ravi didn't think it was. Everyone else had it; sure they fought sometimes but that was bound to happen. Surely it wasn't considered normal to feel abandoned by one's own family when they were within range?
"Luke!" Jessie snapped.
"What? That's what-what's her name-Tara said."
"Tiffany," Zuri reformed.
"I don't care," Jessie was acting as though it was surprising, as if it were a rare occurrence that Luke was behaving this way. "Ravi's your brother, now apologize."
"No," Luke stood to his full height, which was just a little over Jessie's. "Why should I? He got me grounded."
"You got yourself grounded," Jessie reminded him. "If it wasn't for Ravi, you guys would've been even more late."
"Oh my God," Luke groaned, massaging his temples, "why do you even care? I'm eighteen, I shouldn't have to ask permission anymore and I shouldn't have to walk together anymore; I'm not ten."
Her lips formed a thin line and the vein on her neck was pulsing. She arose, too, with a fiery look to her eyes. "I don't care how old you are, I'm your nanny and you will do as I say, when I say it. And I say you're grounded for another week if you don't apologize to Ravi."
Luke threw his napkin on the table. "Fine, ground me then. I don't care." He stormed out, presumably to retreat in his room.
Ravi looked anywhere but into the eyes of his family, ashamed that Luke's distaste of him was brought to light. As if they don't know. They're all thinking that way. They hate you. They just don't want you to know it yet.
Maybe they don't...
Aw, that's cute; you think you know them
I do...I think
"May I be excused?" He didn't stand by to hear Jessie's answer, but rushed off to the sanctuary of his bedroom. Away from prying eyes. Away from the laughter and insults. Away from everyone.
In a nest of blankets and pillows, Mrs. Kipling was curled up in the center, sound asleep. The blinds had been reopened-by Jessie of course. Can she not leave things alone? He fell back on the bed, hands underneath the back of his head, eyes beginning to close. Jeans were the least comfortable thing one could wear to sleep in but honestly, Ravi didn't care at this point. He was worn out and just...dragged down.
You still have homework to finish, you can sleep later
I...I don't care. I can finish it after I rest
You're going to regret this
I don't care
That was it; he just quit caring.
"Ravi." He mumbled something, half heartedly swatting away the hands that were shaking him gently. "Ravi, sweetie, wake up."
"Huh?" he was blurry eyed and confused, vaguely aware he'd fallen asleep. "W-what time is it?" Jessie was aside, hovering just above him.
"Just after eight-thirty. I didn't realize you fell asleep."
You don't notice anything in regards to me
"Rough first day?" she asked fondly.
"You could say that," he sat up too fast, falling back down with most of his weight landing on his injured wrist. The reaction was immediate; pain, hot searing pain. He didn't know how, but he kept in the scream that wanted to come forth.
"Ravi!" Jessie was shocked. "Did you hurt yourself again?" Without asking for permission, she inspected his injury after rolling up his flannel sleeve. By now, the blush, purplish bruise was able to be seen, not just felt. "When did this happen? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Should he tell her? Should he confess that it was all Luke's doing? It might extend Luke's punishment further (which would go over like a ton of bricks) or perhaps it would lead to nothing. Jessie would tell him in a roundabout way that Luke didn't mean to throw it at him, he just caught it wrong.
"It's not important," was what he decided on. "It's just a bruise. Nurse Gina says it'll heal soon. I am excused from PE from the time being."
"Not important?" Jessie cupped his cheek, furrowing her eyebrows. "Ravi, you could've broken something. How did this happen?"
"Jessie-"
"Ravi."
She didn't become firm with him all too often, not with his reputation of being the good child. When she did, however, he knew better than to ignore it.
"PE," he admitted in a lowered voice.
"How?"
She was going to make him say whether he wanted to or not. "Luke threw a ball at me during dodgeball and..." he trailed off. She could figure out the rest.
"And you caught it wrong?" she frowned. "Oh, Ravi, it's okay. You just have to be careful."
I told you
I told you she wouldn't care
He wanted to cry. Must she automatically jump to the conclusion that this was a result of his lack of coordination and sports skills? Anything for Luke. "Yes, Jessie," his voice was thick with suppressed emotions.
She smiled at him. "Now wait here and I'll go get you some ice." She walked to the door, briefly stopping to look back. "Did you have any homework?"
"Yes," he said truthfully. "But I finished it."
Tisk, tisk
Now you're lying? You must really hate them
"Of course you did," she chuckled. "I'll be right back."
"Okay," he muttered. He'd just do it in the morning. A tiny part of him was guilty for lying. What was he thinking? Lying over something as trivial as homework...
This is the first day of another fantastic year
And he was about to find out what a whirlwind it would be.
