The whispers followed him, presumably having to do with Shelby. She was the topic of the day. He had to wonder how she was handling that, though, maybe she didn't mind that total strangers were discussing her presence and her physical appearance and insisting that they'd bang her if they had the chance.

But even amidst that, the real question had been asked, not yet answered.

"Why was she with him?"

Ravi, admittedly, had been wondering the same thing. Why had she so willingly sat with him, walked with him and made arrangements to sit with him at lunch? Was it a mixture of pity and having no other options? Did she truly see value in him and wish to expand upon a possible friendship?

Like anyone would want that with you

You're so naive

She'll ditch you the first chance she gets

And it appears that the first chance had come to which she'd taken. He had a clear view of the cafeteria from where he was positioned at and, since his arrival, there was no sign of her. Had she simply had a change in schedule and was expected to eat at the next lunch hour? Or had the inevitable happened where she met someone else and was entranced by their genuine happiness?

You sound bitter

And jealous

I am not

But that's what you sound like

You wish she was here. With you

He didn't wish for anything. Miss Zenon had entrusted him to take care of her on her first day, easing any fears she was experiencing and all around just making her feel comfortable. This wasn't about any sort of longing for a friendship, but merely fulfilling a duty.

You're such a liar

Sullenly, he exhaled as he took a seat in the same space, the same chair and near the same people. It was the same routine everyday; eat enough for sustainment and pretend not to be a loser. Ravi was better at the former than the one offered to sit with him or share space with him their tables, it left him no choice but to be all by his lonesome.

Because you don't deserve their space

You don't deserve to share the air with anyone else

What makes you think you should be at a table with them?

He flinched.

"Hey!" Shelby had...come. And was acknowledging him. In front of other people. Ravi almost forgot how to act properly. "Sorry I took so long. Coach Collins was helping me with my locker. It's so hard. I didn't have this much trouble with my last one but she said I got the worst locker. That one likes to stick, but that's okay. We played volleyball today. Are you good at volleyball? I'm decent but I always manage to hit in the face."

Ravi made room for her , listening to her chatter as he lifted his backpack up and onto the floor below them.

"So I met this girl, her name's Sierra and she's so sweet. Do you know her? She's got really pretty hair and-oh! There she is. Hey, over here!" She waved her arms around like an airplane, more action than necessary to let the girl, Sierra, where she was.

Ravi placed a chip in his mouth the exact moment Sierra came over. Why must luck never be in my favor? It was the girl that rejected his plea to sit at the same table as her. And apparently she remembered him as well; with the way she rolled her eyes.

"Ravi, this is Sierra. Sierra, this is-" Sheby started to say.

"I know who he is," Sierra said tersely. Her abrupt reply didn't put a dent in Shelby's demeanor. Assumingly, she didn't take the cue that Sierra didn't like Ravi and carried on.

"We could all sit together. Wouldn't that be fun? Sierra and I were partners in PE and she's so good at volleyball. Do you play a lot because-"

There Sierra went and interrupted Shelby again. Ravi personally didn't appreciate being interrupted, so he expected some kind of reaction from Shelby. None came.

"Can we sit over there?" Sierra pointed to the table she typically sat at.

"Oh, sure!" Shelby began to take her stuff. "C'mon, Ravi. Let's go over there-"

"No!" Sierra momentarily lost her temper, to which Shelby furrowed her eyebrows. "I mean, just us. I don't like him."

"Why?" Shelby questioned her.

"Well...You know. He's weird," Sierra stumbled over her words.

"Weird how?" Some of Shelby's happiness was gone from her voice and facial expression. Actually she sounded a little flat. Ravi didn't know what to make of this.

Sierra's eyebrows flew up to her hairline. The fact that Shelby had the audacity to even ask was shocking enough, apparently. "You're kidding right?" she snorted.

Shelby stood up straighter, perhaps a little defensive. Instead of her cheerful, smiley face that he'd seen thus far, her lips were downward in a frown. "I don't think I wanna sit with you anymore."

That hadn't been the response Sierra was expecting. She gaped, then with what little dignity she had left after being stood up over the loser of the school, stomped over to her table and left them altogether.

"You didn't have to do that," Ravi was upset that he'd caused her to lose a friendship before it had the appropriate time to develop. "I've sat by myself before. You should go apologize. I'm sure she'll accept it."

"No." Ravi was taken aback by how strongly she responded. It was evident by the emotion he saw in her eyes. They're so green, he observed. "You're my friend, too. And I'm not leaving you all alone for some mean girl."

"Oh." How eloquent. Ravi was rendered speechless. He wasn't accustomed to this kind of friendliness before, nor the loyalty. "Well, uh, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Shelby was having difficulty opening her thermos, as it was screwed on rather tightly. "Stupid thing! Can you try, please?" She held it out for him to take. Ravi was what you'd call the exact opposite of strong. She just defended you, the least you could do is open it for her.

"Of course," he found that it wasn't as hard as he assumed it would be. With a simple twist, there it came.

"Thank you!" The smell of chilli hit his nostrils. "Do you like chilli? You can have some. I used to trade my lunch with my friends back home all the time. Do you wanna trade? It's okay if you don't. Emily didn't like to trade because her mom baked her brownies but she let me have a bite once and they were so good! I can see why she didn't."

"No thank you," he politely declined.

"So where are your friends? I can't wait to meet them. What do you guys like to do for fun? Me and my friends used to go exploring in the woods all the time. I saw a cute bunny once. Oh my gosh I wanted to pick it up but it kept running away from me."

Ravi stiffened at the mention of his 'friends'. For one, he hadn't disclosed the fact that those 'friends' didn't exist. Shelby was going to find out that he'd indirectly lied to her and that would be it.

Oh, oh, his inner voice taunted, looks like poor Ravi will be all alone again

"Ravi!" Her fingers snapped right in front of his face.

"What?" he asked stupidly.

"I asked you what your family's like? Do you have any siblings? Elliot's nine. He looks just like our mom. I look like my dad, he's the only one of his siblings to have blonde hair. Isn't that neat?" Shelby blew on the spoon of chilli before sticking it in her mouth.

"Uh, yes," Ravi would have been fine if she talked the whole time, not expecting any sort of reply. Besides, she asked far too many questions. What was the correct answer to the one about his family without revealing what a dysfunctional mess they were?

"Ravi." For the second time, he was brought out of his thoughts. "Are you okay? Are you still upset about Sierra? Do you want me to talk to her? Because I can. I can't believe how rude she was to you. Did you guys used to be friends? Should I tell someone? Maybe Miss Zenon can talk to her-"

"No," he said quickly, panicking at the thought of involving a teacher. "It is fine. I'm just thinking."

"About what?" she proved, tilting her head to the side like a puppy.

That's nice of you

"Nothing," he lied, "it's nothing."

"How can you be thinking about nothing?" she asked, bemused.

"It's private," he wished she would get a clue. Understand that he didn't want to talk about it and move on to something else.

"Oh, okay!" she went back to her food, dipping her crackers in her chilli.

Ravi relaxed a little. Perhaps they could finally be finished with all this conversing and just eat in silence.

"Hey Ravi."

Or not.

"Yes?" he said warily.

"Do you like chocolate chip cookies? I think everyone does. I have some, do you want any? I baked them myself. My mom can't bake, she's not very good at cooking. They're really gooey."

Well, they were appetizing looking, he had to admit. "I don't know," he shrugged.

She went ahead and dumped several on a napkin, pushing it towards him. "I made too many and mom doesn't want me to eat them all. I can bring some for you to take to your family on Monday!"

"You don't have to-"

"Oh, it's no problem," she said brightly.

She says that now

Wait until she gets tired of you

It'll happen

Just wait

Ravi let the subject drop. "Okay," he whispered in defeat.

Another family dinner. Another forty-five minutes of wearing his usual facade that told the world he was a happy, healthy, studious teenage boy.

"So, kids, how was school?" Jessie asked them like she did every night at dinner to stimulate conversation.

"Fine," there was a grumble of agreement that went around. Jessie was visibly dissatisfied by the lack of elaboration given.

"Okay... Ravi, what about you? How's your wrist?"

She'd caught him mid-bite. He'd hoped to get through dinner without being called on. Swallowing, his mind scrambled to come up with something. "Um, it was good. My wrist feels fine."

"Is it still bruised?" Jessie inquired further. "If you want I can make and appointment with the doctor to get it checked-"

"No thank you, Jessie," he declined. "I am fine. It will heal eventually."

Jessie frowned. "Okay. If you're sure.."

He was. Seeing the doctor meant he would have to miss school and he didn't want that kind of stress. Missing school would lead to falling behind. He couldn't afford to do that.

"So, Ravi." Right in the pit of his stomach, there was a feeling of anxiety that settled within him. "Why were you talking to that Shelby girl today?"

Ravi's eyes flickered to those sitting around him. Jessie's face was shining with happiness and a mixture of surprise. Bertram either didn't hear what Luke had said or didn't care (probably both). Zuri had dropped her spoon and Emma was gaping.

"Are you sure it was Ravi?" Zuri questioned Luke. "Girls never talk to him."

Thank you for that unneeded observation

She's not wrong

"Oh, I'm sure," Luke crossed his arms. Ravi honestly couldn't tell if he was angry at him or not. If he was indeed, the question was, why? As far as he knew, Shelby and Luke hadn't interacted at all. If they had, there was no doubt in his mind she would have told him. "One of the guys said she was sitting with him at lunch."

"You had a girl sit with you?" Jessie had a hand on her heart. Did she think her comment would be regarded as being kind, acceptable? "What's she like? What does she look like?"

"Is she a real girl?" Zuri joked.

"Yes, she is a real girl," Ravi was offended that they thought so little of him, that the mere concept of a female wanting to be around him was ludicrous. "She's new and Miss Zenon asked me to be a friend for today."

His siblings snickered, ending with a 'cough' when Jessie glared their way.

"Well, Ravi, I think that's very nice," she told him. "Isn't that right, kids?" This was her just daring his siblings to disagree, which they inevitably would.

"It's weird," Zuri said.

"Yeah," Emma said absentmindedly. "The last time a girl talked to Ravi was Jax and we know how that worked out."

His face burned at the painful reminder. That particular situation had been a major breaking point. He'd thought, foolishly, that by dancing, laughing with Jax they would strike up a friendship or even a romantic relationship. Sure, they were complete opposites but he recalled the saying, 'opposites attract'. Even underneath her rebel persona, he found her to be an incredibly beautiful, passionate person. If only she thought the same of him. Her accepting his offer to dance had been more out of convenience and after the brief excitement of him being given detention and turning into someone was not wore off, things went back to how they had originally been. Then came the moment he wished to have forgotten about. After chasing after her for a few days, greeting her much too cheerfully in the hallway and asking twice if she was interested in getting a smoothie with him, Jax let him down not so gently. She'd explained that while he was a 'nice guy and all', they didn't have anything in common and it would be best if they kept to themselves so it wouldn't be awkward.

"Oh," he hadn't cared how choked up he sounded. "I see." His world had shattered again. Someone else had rejected him. Someone else didn't want him.

It hadn't crossed her mind that due to the sensitive topic at hand, it would have been wiser to discuss it in private. No. She chose to do it just before chemistry had begun. Right in front of their classmates.

It went about as he'd expected; the news that Jax had all bu dumped him as a potential friend and romantic companion spread around the school like wildfire. He had been utterly mortified that his immediate response had been to tear up. It was noticed, too. Everywhere he went people would wipe away imaginary tears, emitting the most obnoxious noises (he supposed that was to resemble a sob). Even Luke had gone along with it when he was with his friends, insisting that Ravi was too uptight when he requested kindly (despite feeling anything but kind) for him to stop.

"Heh, I remember her," Luke smirked. "Didn't she reject you?"

"You asked her out?" Emma's jaw had dropped.

"No wonder she said no," Zuri muttered.

"I did not ask her out," Ravi was growing agitated. "I wanted to be friends!"

This did not help his case.

At all.

"And she still rejected you?" Zuri burst into a fit of giggling.

"Zuri!" Jessie snapped. "Apologize to your brother."

"Oh come on, Jessie. It's no secret Ravi can't find friends."

Except for Shelby

Shelby is not my friend

You don't know that

I do

How?

I just know. Weren't you just saying she'll abandon me?

And? Your point?

"Yeah," Luke said, "we're just pointing out the obvious."

Ravi's chair screeched as it was pulled back. He didn't even bother to push it back in. He rushed off, unwilling to hear any more of their harsh opinions concerning him.

He just wanted to prove them wrong, to show them all that he wasn't completely worthless.

He just wanted to be himself without feeling like it was all very wrong.

Curling up in a fetal position, Ravi buried his face in the coolness of his pillow. Perhaps sleep would ease his mind for the moment.

"What is WRONG with you?"

"Don't you think?"

"I should've let her take you with her or bailed the moment she told me about you."

"You will never amount to anything, you hear me!?"

"Should've made your mother abort you when we had the chance."

"Get out of my sight you little twerp!"

Ravi gasped, jerking out of the momentary rest. He sighed heavily, falling back down. He hadn't thought about that in years.

So why was it resurfacing?