He felt like one of those stereotypical, cliche scenes from a movie.
It was late, really late. After midnight, he was sure of it, but hadn't fully processed what the clock said. It was dark, that was apparent. The lights in the nearby buildings had turned off hours ago, the world seemed to be at a lull. He'd leaned his forehead against the window, the chill from the glass was cool on his warm skin, staring at nothing but his eyes glazing over nonetheless. From the outside, there was muffled music coming from somewhere. It was a soft tune, the words were unintelligible but the melody, it was something akin to happiness. The kind of song that one would play on a beautiful summer evening, with the sun setting in the background, a fire crackling and to be dancing with someone, to be twirling them around and gazing at them with utmost adoration.
He'd clearly watched one too many of Emma's romantic movies and it was muddling with his brian.
You're jealous
You want to be happy and you can't
Because you're just a loser
The penthouse was quiet. There was not a peep from anyone. By now, even Luke and Zuri must have plugged their cell phones up for the night and let their heads hit the pillow. He'd tried, every deity within the universe must have been aware of how much he desperately wanted to curl up for some much needed rest. He was just so tired in every aspect of the word.
But he couldn't.
The scene from earlier that evening, after they'd arrived back from parent-teacher conferences, kept replaying in his mind nonstop. The images of Jessie's blatant disappointment, her helplessness of what to do in the situation and how plainly fed up she was with Ravi, were all uncomfortably vivid. He couldn't forget, much as he would have rather to. Shove it in the back of his mind and leave there.
If only it were that easy.
(He was still really tired).
It was hours later, from the time he'd been ordered to sit on the couch, his limbs pulled closely together, eyes lowered to the floor while Jessie was muttering to herself and pacing back and forth so much that the floor could have collapsed. His siblings were firmly instructed to get upstairs, Bertram was banished from the theater room, where he'd been watching a movie with his beloved appliances. He'd been intending to argue, strongly insisting that it was hardly fair for him to leave as he'd been there first, but backed off at the fire that was erupting from Jessie's eyes.
"I don't get it!" Ravi flinched, unbeknownst to her. Jessie whirled back around, a few pieces of her hair framing her face, coming undone from the updo she spent so long trying to put together. She wore an expression of something that he couldn't properly decipher. Maybe it was for the best. "You've always gotten good grades. You never do bad on anything! Not even average. What happened?"
There was nothing he could have said in that moment to remedy the situation. No one response that would take back everything his teachers had said to Jessie and save him from the brutal verbal lashing that was going to come. Above all, the truth wasn't meant to be said-out loud, that is. He couldn't imagine that going over well.
As well as one of Luke's never ending excuses.
She wouldn't accept it; what, that he'd felt too tired to complete anything. That he just didn't have anymore motivation to do it anymore. His enthusiasm for knowledge had plummeted and he honestly just didn't...care.
Oh, yes. That would go over very well, indeed.
"I don't know," he felt Jessie's eyes on him. It made him nervous. He rubbed along his legs. Up and down. Up and down.
Jessie's face contorted into one of disbelief. She was struck speechless. It was somehow worse than yelling. He wished she'd yell. It felt normal that way. It wasn't normal right now; her staring him down, his heart too fast to be in tune with the ticking clock. "You don't know?" she repeated, not believing it. Her hands were in the air, dropping to the top of her face. The pacing was sharper now, her heels clicking faster and faster. "What do you mean you don't know?"
"I...I'm sorry," he said, lamely.
"Sorry isn't going to fix this, Ravi," her exasperation was shining through. She halted her movements, hands going to her hips. She inhaled, as it seemed, she was silently counting. Trying to keep her temper reined in. Trying not to explode on him.
He still wished she would have.
"This is your junior year," she'd said, as if figuring that he needed the reminder. "You can't play around with this. What were you even thinking?"
"I...I'm sorry..."
"Don't tell me that," she shook her head. "I'm not the one you should be saying it to. Ravi, you're smarter than this. We both know that. How could you have let this happen? What about all those dreams you have? You won't be able to do any of them if you don't keep your grades up." The papers in her hands, a summary of missing work and assignments and tests that he'd failed from each teacher, were dropped onto the coffee table with a sharp plop.
But how was he supposed to tell her that he didn't have any dreams anymore?
"I'm really disappointed in you, Ravi," Jessie had crossed her arms, giving him a look to emphasize her words.
Not that they needed any.
He heard it loud and clear.
"That your test grade?" his daddy jerked his head in Ravi's general direction, however, his eyes were still maintaining a steady gaze on the TV in front of him.
"Yes...erm, yes, Sir," Ravi was avoiding eye contact. His hand was trembling as he gave the desired paper to his daddy.
It was yanked away. The voice that was droning from the TV became distant. His throat felt constricted and it was like a rock had settled in his stomach. The minutes seemed to take an eternity as they trickled by.
"You got a D?" his daddy spoke with eerie calmness.
"Um, yes...well, I-"
"What did I tell you, boy, about getting bad grades?"
"Not to," Ravi whimpered.
"What's the matter with you, then? You stupid or something?"
"No," Ravi whispered. He let out a cry when he was grabbed rather roughly by his hair. He was up close to his daddy's face and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. His own breathing quickened in fear.
"That's why your mother left you," he snarled. "She didn't want a stupid son. And you just keep on disappointing, don't you?"
"I...I'm sorry..."
"You should have thought of that before you failed, shouldn't you?' He was suddenly thrown backwards as he was let go.
Why did he have to be a disappointment to everyone? Why couldn't he just be normal like he was supposed to be? If he'd been normal, he would have passed his classes.
If he'd of been normal, he would have been accepted by everyone else and not felt like he was some outsider.
If he'd of been normal-
Maybe...just maybe, he might not have been abandoned by his mother and put into adoption.
And now it brought him to this moment, where he'd left his bed, tip-toed out to the bathroom where his clothes dropped into a small heap and he stood in the shower with his head tilted up, water falling onto his face.
As he said, it felt so cliche.
::Hey best friend!::
Ravi's phone buzzed in his pocket, alerting him to a new message and he had three guesses as to whom it was.
He sighed.
Jessie hadn't grounded him again as he would have assumed, based on how strongly she'd reacted when they got home. She was overwhelmed by the whole thing, with how quickly things were spiraling for him, when just a few months prior-to her knowledge-he'd been alright. Things were smoother than they were now, not quite as rocky when it wasn't just Luke acting out.
If Luke could even be described as acting out; he'd toned it down by a little bit. He hadn't wanted to be grounded for the entirety of his senior year, when there were many parties and social opportunities for him to explore, so he behaved himself to avoid her wrath that he would surely encounter if provoked.
Of course, that meant Jessie's sole and sharp focus was on Ravi. However, he wasn't going to buy that all of it was because she cared. If she'd really cared, then she would have paid more attention to him during the years she'd been there for the family. Why just now? This was another desperate attempt at making sure she would keep her job so she wouldn't be thrown out, penniless and homeless.
She could ask Tony for a place to stay
I'm sure he would be thrilled to
Perhaps if his apartment was in better condition, I'd agree
He tapped on the keyboard to respond to her message, maintaining a nonplussed expression. He was given a reply in less than a minute; creepy to some, but-as he would begrudgingly admit-rather convenient for him.
/What do you want/
:;Call me!::
/Why/
His phone screen lit up. Shelby was indeed calling him for whatever reason she saw fit, which could either be reasonable or outright absurd, both of those were highly plausible. Sighing, Ravi made sure no one was outside of his room to possibly listen; it wasn't a regular occurrence for him to be talking on the phone-or to anyone, really-so that kind of behavior would be fairly suspicious.
Right before his index finger hit accept, he felt a strange wave of nervousness wash over him. It wasn't so much that he was nervous to speak to Shelby, but he'd never been that well versed in talking on the phone, as it usually ended awkwardly. He was prone to talking at the wrong times, usually over someone else or he wouldn't speak right away and the other person would inquire as to whether he was still there. And then there was the worry of running out of things to say. He hated that one especially.
His mild apprehension switched to franticness when he accidentally accepted.
Shoot, shoot!
"Hi, Ravi!" Shelby said on the other line, cheerfully.
"Erm, hello," he said, quietly.
"Isn't today such a beautiful day? It's so pretty outside. Have you been outside? Elliot and I were out in the backyard playing with the leaves. We made a big pile and took turns jumping in it! It was so fun! Have you done that before? I'm sure you have! We did that a lot back home, we had a way bigger yard so the leaf pile was huge."
"I'm sure..."
"Are you busy?" She seemed to remember why she called in the first place.
No
You're never busy
That's a stupid question
As if anyone would want to hangout with you
'Busy' doesn't necessarily mean I would be hanging out with someone
It's usually implied
"Wha...what?" He hated how he had that habit of stumbling over his words.
"Are you busy?" she chirped. "You should totally come over for dinner!"
"Dinner," he repeated, slowly.
Sitting at her house, in between her talking at great lengths, her brother sulking and her parents trying to spark a conversation with him. Her mother wanting to get to know him and her father trying to give him more advice, perhaps asking about college again.
Oh, what an enchanting evening.
"You said you'd come over sometime, remember? You told my parents at parent-teacher-conferences! You should totally come over tonight. Mom's ordering pizza!"
Remember when you were left out, when everyone else went out to get pizza and left you behind?
Remember when everyone else had fun without you?
It still gave him a bitter taste in his mouth to recall that day.
"Oh, Raviiii," she said in a sing-song voice when he neglected to respond.
"Oh, I don't know-"
"Oh, please!" she pleaded and he could easily envision her face morphing into that of a puppy trying to coax its owner into giving it another treat. "Oh, please, oh, please! It'll be so fun! You know it will. And my parents love you!"
He doubted that.
"You just have to come!"
He didn't, actually.
"We'll even get pineapple pizza," she added. "So you can try it. And cheese, and pepperoni, and sausage and a supreme one for Dad because he loves having everything on his pizza. But you can have a slice of that, too, if you want!"
What I want is to be left alone
Please, please, please just go away
"I don't know," he said, wearily.
"And we'll have cinnamon rolls for dessert! You can have more of those!"
"Here!" Shelby presented him with a generous sized cinnamon roll.
"Oh, no, that isn't necessary. I-" He promptly shut up when she shoved the item into his hands. It was given in such a way that his hands touched the top of the pastry, so now his hands were sticky.
Great.
"I hope you like it!" she grinned.
His lips were thin, eyes non expressive.
"I really don't know if I should."
"Why not?" She probed.
"I don't want to inconvenience anyone," he lied, lamely.
She giggled. "Oh, Ravi! You aren't gonna inconvenience us. My parents have been asking about you coming over. Oh, please!"
He held his cell phone in the other hand now, his arm had begun to exhibit that sensation of pins and needles from being up too long.
"I know you want to," she said, alluringly.
He glanced toward his door. Everyone was going to be busy tonight. Jessie was meeting with a talent agency, convinced that she was going to get her big break finally. Luke was hanging with some friends at the park, doing who knows what (and Ravi didn't want to know). Emma had a date; Zuri was having a movie marathon with Carla in the theater room and Bertram was doing...
Well, Ravi actually didn't know. But he was probably doing more than staying in his bedroom. Which is what Ravi planned on.
Yep. That was him.
Thoroughly exciting.
Not.
He chewed on his lip as she prattled on yet again. There was no way he was going to go back to her house now, and if he was smart, he should have been trying to catch up on his homework and study for an upcoming test-tests, really. He couldn't afford to get further behind.
No, he wasn't going.
He ended up going.
"Ravi!" Mrs. England exclaimed when she opened the front door later on. His eyes were drawn to her hair being kept up in a knot on the top of her head. "It's lovely to see you. It's been a bit, hasn't it? What, a few weeks? Well, never mind that. We're thrilled that you're here. Shelby's been hoping you would. Oh, I'm keeping you out in this cold, aren't I? Come in, come in."
He did and relished in the warmth. It wasn't frigid out there, but chilly enough that it seeped right through his hoodie. He noticed that the boxes he'd seen the first time were gone. By now, they'd unpacked everything and, apparently, done a paint job on a few of the walls. It was nice looking, he had to admit.
"You can set your hoodie on the back of a chair or wherever, if you'd like," Mrs. England said. "We don't have a coat closet so we should probably get a rack, but oh, well, right? A few wrinkles won't hurt anything."
"Erm, right."
Shelby appeared at the top of the staircase, beaming. "Hi, Ravi! I thought I heard you!" She came down, her steps heavy. "I'm so glad you came! I wasn't sure you would but I hoped, you know? Did you finish that homework packet for math? I keep getting stuck on number four. You know, Emily sucks at math, too. Caleb's great at it. I wish I was great at math. Oh, you're good at math, aren't you? Maybe you could help me, if you want! This stuff makes no sense. But I did-"
"Breathe, Dear," Mrs. England said, lightly. "Don't talk Ravi's ear off too much, now."
"Okay!"
"Matt ordered the pizza already," Mrs. England said to Ravi. "It should be here soon."
"Oh, alright."
Curse his inability to talk. It was really coming back to bite him.
He felt a familiar wet nose rubbing against his hand. A glance down and he saw Chewie sitting beside him, looking up. The last time he'd been over, he'd gotten a bit of a surprise by the abrupt presence of the dog. He'd heard about Chewie prior to their get together, she'd spoken of him quite a few times, but somehow in the midst of his anxiety at being over at a stranger's-because that she was practically was-house, he'd forgotten all about it. This time, it wasn't a surprise at all, but that didn't stop him from petting the animal cautiously. He patted Chewie on his head and the dog rubbed his head against Ravi's hand.
"He loves you!" Shelby beamed.
"He loves everybody," Elliot grumbled as he swiftly passed by, coming out of nowhere and holding onto a box that Ravi didn't catch a better glimpse of, heading toward the living room.
Whatever it was, his mom had seen it. "You better clean it all up before dinner!" she called.
"I will!" He said from the other room.
Mrs. England shook her head. Meanwhile, the dog hadn't left Ravi's personal space, if anything, it invaded further. He was forced to sit down right on the floor when the dog hopped in his lap, letting out an oof.
"Chewie!" Mrs. England scolded, flapping her hand as a way to gesture to the animal to move away. "Goodness gracious. I'm sorry, Ravi. He does that sometimes. He's a sponge for affection." she sighed fondly when Chewie seemed adamant on receiving said affection from Ravi only.
Shelby giggled. "Isn't he cute?"
Adorable
"Chewie, off," Mrs. England said, firmly as she pointed in the opposite direction. The dog made a whining noise, but otherwise complied and once again, Ravi's lap was dog-free, if a little hairy from the shedding fur. "I'm sorry about that, Ravi. We think he's acting out a little from our move."
"Oh, it's alright," Ravi rose to his feet, brushing off the stray hairs from his pants and hoodie. "He's, erm, quite friendly."
"That's one way of putting it," she said, wryly. Then, she clasped her hands together. "Why don't we go in the kitchen? I'll go drag Matt out of his office and we'll sit and chat until the pizza gets here."
"Okay," he murmured.
They were settled around the table, the four of them. Elliot was still in the living room, working on building the world's tallest jenga tower as he came to learn, just so he could destroy it. That, Shelby said casually as she drank from her soda can, he did a lot.
"So, Ravi," Mrs. England smiled at him, her elbows on the table, propping up her chin. "Tell me about yourself. We only got to talk a couple minutes the other night."
Ravi was sitting beside Shelby, fiddling with his fingers. "What would you like to know?"
"Anything," she smiled again. "I hear you're in Shelby's grade and you guys were partners for that English project."
"Yes.."
"Do you have any siblings?" she asked.
It was an innocent question.
She meant nothing by it. Honestly, how could she? She didn't know how his mind was flashing with unwanted memories he'd rather push away; of being teased and mocked and altogether forgotten. She wasn't aware of the raw pain that it brought forth.
He inhaled slowly. "Yes," he eventually responded without his voice shaking. "Three of them. One brother and two sisters."
"Three," Mrs. England nodded, humming. "My, sounds like a busy house and to think I've thought it's been crazy around here."
"Did you ever say what your parents did, son?" Mr. England asked him.
"Err. No, I haven't," he squirmed. "Er, my mom is an actress and supermodel and my dad directs movies."
When most people found out that bit of information he was able to see their features change into that of shock, excitement even. They couldn't believe they were in the presence of the son of two celebrities, basically. Ravi despised that. He didn't like how their attitude towards him changed and where they were nicer to him for only that reason.
But they didn't.
Mrs. England nudged her husband teasingly, "Maybe that's what I should've done. You could've been my side guy."
He raised his eyebrows, smirking. "Oh? And who would've been your main man?"
"Well, if Leo Dicaprio doesn't have any objections..." she trailed off, laughing lightly.
From underneath the table, Shelby's knee kept hitting his and every time, he would flinch the slightest bit. He wondered if it was noticeable to her parents. "Stop that!" he hissed under his breath.
"Stop what?" She seemed to be capable of whispering this time.
"Touching me!"
"Dad," Elliot came in, arms crossed "when's the pizza gonna get here?"
Mr. England tore away from the conversation with his wife, sighing fondly. "Soon," he said.
Elliot sighed in an exaggerated way. "I'm starving," he whined.
"Hi Starving, I'm Dad."
Shelby giggled.
Mrs. England shook her head.
Elliot rolled his eyes.
"Dad!"
"Elliot," he mocked. "Have you washed your hands?"
"...Yes."
He pointed in the direction of the staircase. "Go."
"But they're not even dirty!"
"Go."
Elliot threw his head back, groaning. He did what he was told though, with Mr. England following him just to ensure his son didn't skip out on it. It left Mrs. England, Shelby and Ravi still in the kitchen.
And he didn't like it one bit.
"How's school going, Ravi?" Mrs. England asked, kindly and he really didn't know how to answer that. "I remember my junior year, I struggled to keep up all year and was convinced I was going to fail math and the extra chemistry class I'd taken for dual credit. Somehow, I managed. Still not sure how."
"It's...alright," he eventually settled on. He wasn't going to mention how he was failing or on the edge of doing so. He would keep it vague as much as he was able to. And really, it was none of their business anyway with how well he was fairing academically. He was not their child.
Harsh
I'm being truthful!
Still harsh
She's just being polite
You don't have to be so rude
Mrs. England nodded. "The only bright side of that year was the prom. I went with Matt, you know. We went through elementary, middle and high school together."
"And they started dating in seventh grade," Shelby piped up, dreamily. "It's so romantic."
"It wasn't all that sweet," Mrs. England gently corrected. She addressed Ravi, "We broke up at the end of middle school, on the first day of summer. We were getting older and as mean as it is, I felt bored being one guy when my friends were dating different people often. So I broke up with him and started crushing on our local lifeguard, but he was going to be a senior so that wasn't ever going to happen. But we got back together during sophomore year and the rest is history, I suppose."
Shelby sighed happily. "I hope that happens to me. Oooh! Maybe I've already met my future husband. Wouldn't that be neat? I think it would be and so romantic."
"You never know," Mrs. England said. "Fate is funny that way. I know I never imagined marrying your dad when I met him. Actually, I didn't want anything to do with him for the longest time. He used to pull my hair in first grade and stole the swing I was going to use every single time," she wore a reminiscing smile. "He knew just how to push my buttons."
Shelby gets on your buttons
And?
You never know
I do know and the thought is ridiculous
So you think now
The doorbell rang, which meant that the pizza had been delivered. Shelby perked up and her mom went to go answer the door, grabbing her wallet on the way. Now it was just the two of them. Shelby jumped to her feet, opening the fridge to get everyone's beverages. "I'm starving," she said. "What do you want? Cola?"
"Erm, sure," he decided. He made a noise of surprise when she threw the can at him and he barely caught it in time so as it didn't fall to the floor. .
"Pizza's here," Mrs. England called to her husband and son as she came back, carrying a few boxes in her arms. Ravi felt like he needed to be helpful, to do something so he took the boxes from her and set them on the table. "Thank you, Ravi," she smiled at him. "I appreciate it."
He smiled awkwardly in return.
Elliot ran into the room, coming to a halt when Mrs. England looked at him disapprovingly for running in the house. "Wait for your dad," she scolded when he opened the box on top.
He grumbled.
When Mr. England came back into the room, they dug in. The pizzas were what Shelby had said they would be, even the pineapple one which was a small in comparison to the other larges. Ravi quietly asked if one of them could pass it over please. All the while, Shelby was watching him, eager to find out his opinion. It wasn't half bad. The flavors worked well together despite the contrast between sweet and savory. He expected the pineapple to be overly sweet or sour but that wasn't the case.
"So?" Shelby pressed. "How is it?"
"It's good," Ravi said. "I like it."
She beamed. "I knew you would! I didn't like it at first because Emily's mom tried to make it and I think she messed up and didn't drain the juice from the can because it was kinda soggy and gross. But then Caleb told me about this pizza place that opened up in the next twon over so we all went there once and it was so good. I was surprised."
"So, Ravi," Mrs. England said, so now he didn't have to respond to Shelby, "what's a hobby of yours, hmm? What's your thing?"
"Oh, erm-" What was he supposed to say when he didn't really have a thing? "Well, I like lizards," he said, lamely.
"Lizards, you say," Mr. England seemed genuinely interested. "That's fascinating stuff."
"He's got a lizard, too!" Shelby informed them. "An asian water monitor. It sounds so cool!"
"Mom, can we get a lizard?" Elliot wanted to know.
"Absolutely not," Mrs. England said, firmly.
"Aww man," Elliot crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair grumpily.
"Those can get pretty long," Mr. England said in reference to Mrs. Kipling. "Do you have enough room for it?"
"Oh, yes. Our home is, erm, plenty big," he felt a bit bashful to elaborate, considering their house was half the size of the penthouse.
"What's your lizards name?" Mrs. England asked.
"Mrs. Kipling," he mumbled, embarrassed by his younger self's lack of creativity. The name sounded dumb now, but he'd thought long and hard at the time. "I thought she was a boy until she gave birth."
Mr. England chuckled. "Same thing happened to my neighbor when I was a boy. His dog was named Pete until he found a bunch of puppies behind the couch. Then she was Petel."
"Did your parents let you keep all of the babies?" Mrs. England asked.
"Oh, no. They're all in a lizard sanctuary."
"How many were there?" Elliot grinned for the first time that night, or least that, that was the first smile Ravi had seen from the boy.
"Was there a lot?" Shelby was curious as well.
"Twelve," he divulged.
"Cool!" Elliot exclaimed. "Dad, can we-"
"No, Elliot."
"That's so cool," Shelby said, enthusiastically. "Were they cute? I bet they were cute. I just like baby animals, don't you? Back home, there was this farmer and I got to see all of the baby animals omn the farm. They were so cute! I loved the baby cows. Oooh! You wanna see some pictures? I took a ton of pictures before we left! I'll show you after dinner if you want; you can see baby cows and sheep and chickens and a rooster, oh and there was this tomcat that the farmer had to keep the mice away..."
"I suppose," Ravi said, carefully.
"Great! We can chill in my room until you have to leave," Shelby wiped some excess sauce off of the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "I finished unpacking so it looks a whole lot better. Just wait until you see it!"
"Great," he murmured, looking over at Mrs. England out of his peripheral in case she was going to object to her daughter having a boy in her room. However, just like Mr. England, she didn't seem to be bothered. In fact, she was in the process of saying something unrelated to her husband.
I suppose she doesn't mind
Or she's waiting for you to tell her no
What-
She doesn't want you up there
She doesn't trust you
She wants you to stay downstairs
She's just testing you
"Dear," Mrs. England's soft voice brought him back to reality. He'd been lost within his own thoughts. The occupants of the table looked his way and his face burned.
"Oh, sorry," he mumbled.
"It's quite alright," she smiled and held up the half empty box of pizza. "Did you want any more? You're welcome to, if you'd like."
Well, I am hungry..
Stop being so greedy
But she asked
She's being polite. She doesn't actually want you to take any
"May...may I have just one piece?" he asked, quietly. "The supreme one, please."
"Of course," Mrs. England said, tenderly and shot her husband a teasing look. "That is, if Matt can bear to share some."
"Funny," Mr. England said flatly in response, but his eyes were light. He handed the box to Ravi, setting it back down after he retrieved his desired slice. "I'm glad someone else besides me likes it. It gets lonely eating it by myself."
"If you'd take the olives off, you might not have to eat it by yourself," Mrs. England said.
Mr. England shook his head and said to Ravi, "I'm afraid my wife has no sense of taste."
She smacked him.
"Woman! That's husband abuse!"
Shelby giggled, delighted in seeing her parents being so lighthearted with each other.
Ravi wasn't used to that. His own parents weren't the type to be necessarily rude to each other and he was certain they were happy together, but they just weren't like the England's. Actually, no part of his life were like the England's. He didn't know how to describe it, but something was different.
A good something.
It was the kind of something that could make someone at ease.
Too bad you'll never be like that
You're never at ease
You're always tense
Always unhappy
I wonder why that is
Oh, yes
Now I know
Because no one likes you
And neither does Shelby's parents
They can't wait for you to leave
Shelby nudged him. "You're quiet," she observed.
He was always quiet.
He shrugged. "I'm just thinking."
"About what?"
"Don't be nosy, Dear," Mrs. England gently chided her daughter. "If Ravi wants you to know, he'll tell you."
At least she understands boundaries
"It's...nothing much," he shrugged again. "Just homework. I've got a lot to do."
That was an easy lie and technically not a full one. His school situation had been in the back of his mind ever since the conferences.
"Do you want any help? I can try, maybe. I dunno. Maybe if we do a video chat, Elliot can help you with math if you're having problems with it-" Elliot looked like that was the last thing he wanted to do. "Oooh! We could all work on it together! That'd be fun. It would make the time go faster if we did. Maybe we'll have time before bed tonight. Unless you wanna do it some other time. When's it due? Is it next week? That'll give you plenty of time, won't it?"
"Perhaps," was all he said.
The end of dinner came. Mr. and Mrs. England were putting the extra slices of pizza away in zip lock bags and their kids helped, too. Shelby gestured to his soda, asking if he was done with it. He wasn't yet, it was only half empty. "Do you want to take any of this home, son?" Mr. England wondered. "We've got plenty, you know."
Then they would have known he was out somewhere. They would pester him relentlessly with questions, all the while showing their disbelief that he'd been invited anywhere. He'd never hear the end of it. Jessie might make a bigger deal out of it than she should; sickeningly happy that it was happening to him.
Because things like normal get togethers with people didn't happen to him.
Because he wasn't liked or normal.
He was just...Ravi. The outsider. The weird lizard guy. The one who didn't fit in anywhere.
He doubted it was going to change.
"No thank you," he put on a normal, convincing smile. "We don't need it."
There was a peculiar look to both Mr. and Mrs. England's faces; they were still faintly smiling but their eyes...it was different and Ravi couldn't identify what it was. He didn't like it at all. Did they know something? Were they onto him? He suddenly felt like he needed to get out of there now.
"Well, if you change your mind, they're in the fridge," Mr. England told him.
Later on, he was dragged up the stairs by Shelby and into her bedroom. It was fully decorated now. Everything was out of the boxes as she'd said, and at the moment, with them both on her bed, she was going through all of the pictures that she brought with her of all the farm animals. Ravi had to admit they were taken spectacularly; in the picture of the tomcat, she must have been laying directly on the ground, judging by the angle. There was a sunset in the background and the feline was arching its back, stretching. One thing was for sure, she had some photography talent.
He caught her staring at him, or rather his hair when he glanced up from looking at one of the photographs. "What?"
"Nothing," but her eyes remained where they'd been staring. "I'm just looking."
"At my hair?"
"Yes," she said, looking both thoughtful and critical.
"Why?" He decided to ask.
She tilted her head. "Have you ever done something different with your hair?"
That didn't answer his question. "Not really," he said, raising his eyebrows. "But what does that have to do-"
"Can I style your hair?" She grinned.
She isn't serious
Surely not
He blinked, staring back at her dumbly. "Excuse me?"
"Please? It'd been fun! You never do anything with it and I think I know just the look that would be perfect for you!"
Oh, no
She is
He didn't want her to touch any part of him, let alone his hair. He inched back, mindful not to go too far so he didn't fall off of the bed. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not? You don't trust me?"
Did she really want him to answer that?
"I know what I'm doing," she hit him on the shoulder playfully. "I've styled Caleb's hair before and it looked great!"
But did Caleb think so?
"What would you even do to it?" Ravi made a face, but somewhere deep down, he was curious about the whole thing. Didn't mean he'd let her, but there was no harm in asking.
That's what you say now
"Just a little trim, maybe," she reached up to run her hands through his hair and he cringed. "It's a bit long."
It wasn't long per se, but he had neglected to maintain proper hair hygiene and it'd been ages since his last haircut. Other than combing it so it was presentable for the outside world, he hadn't done much for its upkeep.
Because you're lazy
It isn't that
Than what it is? How can you just not do something you should be doing everyday? Hmm? Remember how you didn't bathe or brush your teeth for a week? What about that?
That was different
Sure
Still, Shelby handling scissors wasn't very comforting. Not when she jerked around and was as twitchy as she was. He could just imagine her chopping off a giant section of his hair, resulting in a bald spot that his siblings would have a field day ridiculing. So no, he most certainly did not trust Shelby with any sharp devices.
He moved off the bed, standing and turning away from her. 'I don't see why you're so interested all of the sudden," he muttered, arms crossed. It was a juvinille stance but he stood by it nonetheless.
She got off as well to be next to him. "I won't make you," she said as if was possible to. "But I think it'd look good on you, you know? Give you some confidence. I think you need it."
He whirled back around. "What is that supposed to mean? I have plenty of confidence, thank you."
She took a moment to respond.
"No harm in any more, right?"
"I don't need anymore," he felt tired. "I just...I don't. I'm fine."
And then she said something so earnest, unrelated to the topic at hand, but it was the most serious she'd been so far since he'd known her. She placed her hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze and said,
"You know there's nothing wrong with asking fo help right?"
He opened his mouth to retort but nothing came out.
